Wasiq-POV
I walk into my Lake-view villa, where nobody could get in touch with me because first of all they don't know where it is and second of all they have to take a yacht to reach me with my permission.
And the permission is what I won't give. The villa with six rooms, bathrooms, a living room and a kitchen. But there is nothing to fill these room with, there is no furniture, photo frames, anything I could be in need of.
I sit down on the ground which is cold, a shiver runs down me with the remaining warmth left inside of me. The wall size of a glass window facing me in the front. The lake, it is so calm and smooth. The water is still and with the touch of a fallen leaves it stirs. The entire lake is stir with turbulence.
I am the lake at the moment, everything is troubled. My emotion to my life is all in pain. My chest heaves in pain to know the truth about myself.
How am I gonna make a sense of my life now, I have always thought I had a family that no matter what happens to me I will have my family to return to. My father to whom I was and is nothing is what drove me to be successful. I wanted him to praise, love, and trust me like how he did to Naveed.
Now all that seems to be a faraway thought...thoughts that once I could dream of making it true but now it is dream which I have to leave for the sake of my well-being.
Tears flows, I don't care if that makes me look sassy. I am a human before being a man. A human who feels the depth of things. The little things which eats you away to nothingness which sometimes leeches onto your heart to suck off all the goodness you have.
Sometimes, we find ourselves at a fault for letting the leech of hope to suck the love you have for people who knows nothing of the meaning of love. Sometimes, you have to be brave enough to pull it off to stop yourself from falling deeper into its hold.
I am going to brave to pull myself together for the sake of myself and Raseen.
Raseen...
Where is she??
Has she also decided to leave me like everybody else?
"Raseen" I wail her name in the quiet of the room.
I get up and look around for my phone like a lunatic. My phone, I have to contact her to come here to save me. To save my heart. It's cracking and scattering everywhere, I want her to mend it. Her touch to heal me and to be my healer.
My reason to breathe is her and if I don't have her by my side I am going to be left so miserable that nothing would ever make me feel like anything.
When I finally find my phone. I turn it on and there are so many voicemail's and messages of concern but none bother me as much I Raseen.
"I am leaving."
This is all she has messaged me. She is leaving me like the rest of them. She too felt the need to say that.
Why
I scream and smacking the hand with the phone onto the glass window. The phone screen cracks and I throw it across the room as it touches me deeply that I am the one with faults. There is something in me which makes people leave me. And I can't do anything to stop them from leaving me.
The feeling of being alone is havoc because you cry with your own thoughts. And you need somebody to save you from your thoughts. It makes you feel like stranded in a wide vast blue ocean, heading nowhere. And that nothingness, nowhereness is like a giant murky pit, sucking up all your life. And in the end, leaving you numb, you are nothing but alive-dead.
I tread toward the lake. The silence of lake is speaking and urging me to come to it, I follow the path that I am called upon. The pebbles under my bare feet munches, it doesn't hurt because where I am hurting is what no one can feel.
The cold clear water surrounds me everywhere to free me off the tangle thoughts. Tears rolling down and dropping into it, contaminating it with my sorrow. The lake seems so vast that I find myself being lost.
And then something hits me I fall onto my back. The water splurges up into the air as my weight falls down forcefully. I float in the water like a lifeless leaf. My breathing becomes shallow as I fall short on the air.
"Raseen" my heart wails "Come back to me!!! I need you more than anything."
I gasp for air and so I sit up in the water, dark clouds approaching, hinting of oncoming rain. By the time I made it back into the house the rain falls down heavier.
I curled up on the ground in the wet clothes, the prattling of the rain against the roof trudge me into soundless sleep.
When I had woken up it was to the sunrise. My eyes adjusted to the sudden light, I place the back of my hand until the events of the yesterday replayed in front of me.
I snap open my eyes to stop it. I sit up, gazing at the sun rising in the horizon, its rays glimmering the tame lake.
My body felt stiff, feeling listless upon the unsettling feelings in my heart. I feel nothing inside, empty. I can't cry no longer as tears has dried up. I can't scream or break anything because I am listless, nothing can touch me where yesterday it would upon a puff.
Days to weeks goes by I remain secluded, cut off from everyone or what is happening in the world. At the moment I couldn't care less because I have changed.
Evolved.
Things don't matter like how I thought it does, in reality nobody lives for other because the world and the time has changed.
I stare at myself in the mirror, looking like a person who has just been dropped into this world.
My beard pricking out, my eye bags deeper like onions sacks and my skin looks terrible upon a close look, black heads, pimples, and skin breaking out.
I am so doomed once my manager see the new art I had made of myself.
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"Wasiq" Sanam squeals in happiness as she lets me into her house.
I walk pin pointedly, waiting for the feelings to return but nothing returns. I still feel the old me. The fact that she is my sister is what I cannot ignore. We are family and it is alright if we don't share the same blood. It is alright if the same blood doesn't run in our veins. The memories, the happiness, the laughter, the time, and the cries that we had been through together is still there with me. Nothing can take it away from me. The fact doesn't dismiss the feelings and regards we hold for each other.
"Where have you been for the past two months?" Sanam pry.
"I wanted to be alone" I said, not looking at her "I needed to sort out my thoughts."
"Wasiq," Sanam assert. I look up, gazing into her tearful eyes.
"We are siblings and this fact cannot be changed. We have been there for each other for all the life we had spent together. The truth cannot wedge a wall between us."
"I know, I am over past the truth" I said, grinning.
She squeeze my hand affectionately while I pull her into a light embrace and kissing her forehead.
"I missed the smell of you. You smell like baby...when I hug you all I feel is peace" she said.
She pulls away, telling me she has to call mom that I am back and very sorted. When she was done calling everyone about me she reappears with two cup of coffee.
"What are you thinking about" she quips.
I took one cup of the coffee while she took the other and settling herself beside me on the couch.
"Raseen" I said.
"What about her?"
"Do you know where she is?" I question.
She must know, I know she does.
"She is in UK."
I took a first sip of a coffee, sweetness filling my mouth and reaching down to heart instantly warming me.
"When was the last time you talk to her?" I asked.
"Two days ago" she replies.
"And what did you talked about?"
"She is always talking about you. It is you that we all talk about. She has been through a lot emotionally and mostly it is you. Do know what you had done?"
"I was going to call her to come to me but she messaged me that she is leaving so I thought she left me" I added.
"Do you know what you did to each other" she wails "What has been done is done...now go to UK and get her back. Don't lose that precious soul" she encourages me.
After a heartfelt conversation, I had napped in the sofa and had woken up to Yasir hands all over my face. I took him in my arms and he giggles until the living room is filled with our laughter.
"I missed you" he voice.
"I missed you more."
After lunch, there were many packages and paintings which were delivered for Raseen and so Sanam asked me to take it her apartment.
The living room is filled with packages and paintings. I walked around for a little, feeling nostalgic. The memories flooding in, the first time she let me in her house. I knew I had an effect on her.
The house is filled with her scent, everything is pure as her.
I miss her.
And I hate that I have done that to both of us. Where there is love, there is no falling apart. Being without her is not being myself. My eyes are parched to see her, my hand misses the warmness of her touch. And my heart is restless like a departing soul.
I touch the paint brushes to feel her essence, I sense her being so close to me. I close my eyes and there she is, eyeing me back like a paint that is to be washed away to disappear.
Instantly I snap to senses as I gasped for air, falling onto the ground and accidentally hitting and knocking the many paints that are placed against the wall.
I don't know what had I hit but all of the sudden a large mural of my face appears and I am shocked at the intrinsic, complex, and meticulous strokes of the brush. It is me that she had made.
I get up to have a close look and upon doing that, it is made up from various small photos of us in different situation. I am deeply rooted by this act of her. She hasn't forgotten single bit of our life.
And then there is sketch book of her drawings of me.
An elevator sketch, with a little note at the bottom.
"When we didn't know we would have heart fail."
I read each and every one of it. By the time, I am at the end of it I had made my mind to get her back. I have to go get the potion for my restless heart.
Hey Guys !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! did you miss me??? i know u must had...well i definitely had.... how r u guys...i hope u guys r doing fab....
so I am going to upload regularly for these days bc the book has few chappie left .... the reason being i am start another book and so before i start that i want to finish my previous work.... so this book and other book are gonna be completed by this month ...and in sha Allah in march i am starting a new book...
i will definitely be leaving an excerpt from that book and i am so excited about....i hope u guys will definitely remain with me to embark on a new journey filled with exciting characters.....
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until then stay happy and make others like me happy
zooming out angels...
another chapter on the way....