Zach, Thu Apr 4th 2013
How did it come to this? How could I do what I did to the man I love? Every single step that I took, leading me toward tonight, seemed natural at the time but how could I let things go this far? Shit, Daddy almost pulled out of our contract! This is the last thing I want! I don't know what he has in mind but I will take any punishment he gives as long as he forgives me.
It all began on Sunday morning. I wanted him to fuck my brains out but he said that I needed more rest. I tried to explain that I was good to go but he was adamant, explaining to me it was his role as my Dominant to make sure he didn't go over my physical limits, and that after the pounding I had gotten on Friday night, my butt was to be left alone for a few more days.
I tried to explain to him that Thomas had trained me to take it and then some, but that was not a very good idea. Instead, it launched Daddy into a long lecture about how he would not abuse my body like my ex did. That was very nice of him, but I didn't really care. True, my butt still stung a bit, but I was horny and I wanted a good fuck. Nothing I couldn't handle! Since he didn't give me what I wanted, I made sure to let him know I was displeased by being my worst bratty self the whole evening.
The next day, I tried a different approach. I spent the whole day trying to seduce him by hanging around naked, bending to show off my ass whenever I was sure he was looking. That worked in the sense that he asked me several times to blow him or give him a handjob. He promised the sweetest rewards in exchange, but none of them included me getting fucked senseless so I refused. Even humping his leg all night long like a horny dog didn't make him yield.
So on Tuesday, I tried something else. Perhaps I could coax Daddy into a punishment fuck. I made sure to piss him off deeply, by purposely disobeying his order and not meeting him at his spot like I was supposed to. That worked like a charm, and the next thing knew, I was bent over his lap and getting a rough spanking. The logical conclusion should have been a hard pounding but of course, Daddy just had to punish me more and instead of that, I spent the entire evening kneeling in a corner of his office.
I hated the whole thing so much I entered Wednesday in a very pissed mood. Then I discovered that my package with Daddy's dog tags had been delivered to a wrong address, all the way up in the Bronx! How the fuck does that happen? Between that and the fact I ended up blocked in a subway for more than an hour because some dummy had decided to take a walk on the tracks, I spent the whole afternoon to retrieve them.
Of course, Daddy was upset when he found out, but since I was in a shitty mood as well, I didn't tell him where I went. I didn't want to give him his 'collar' before I got fucked so I couldn't really explain to him what I did, could I? My smart mouth got me into deep trouble though, because I saw how angry he was at me.
It was a stupid thing blown out of proportions, really. And I'm sure he would have found super cute the fact I spent the afternoon getting something for him, so if I had swallowed my pride and made the first step, we would probably have made out. Instead, I got a severe lecture on my behavior which was completely deserved, and when I got home that night, I resolved to be a better Baby. I did the stupid lines he asked of me and caught up on all the work I should have done during the afternoon.
So today I really was a good boy! I was polite, worked out without complaining – how often does that happen? – and made sure to catch up with all my online classes. After spending the whole afternoon working, I joined Daddy in his office at the exact time he had requested and made the effort to kneel by his side.
During dinner, I was disappointed he was still a bit cold with me and didn't even let me take a seat with them, but I put that on the fact he was still a bit upset and I was willing to make some efforts to redeem myself.
Then I arrived at the Blue Hedonism after the fastest prep ever, going straight to his usual spot. I thought I had been too quick because it was empty, so I just knelt there, with the package containing his military dog tags, thinking about how happy he would be to find me like this when he arrived.
I wait forever for him to come.
Except that he doesn't... and I'm slowly going crazy. He's ditching me and I can hear Thomas' voice in my head snickering. Of course, he'd discard me so easily, I'm such a nobody. The old Zach is taking control of my brain which causes the new Zach to make a drastic intervention.
Daddy wants to ditch me? Fine! I eventually tell myself. If he wants to play like this and if he doesn't want to fuck me, I'll find someone else. Almost all the other Doms would be more than happy to oblige and I'll prove it to you, old Zach! I choose the first one I spot, Tanner, who is on the next couch, and seductively crawl toward him. The man is blunt and often socially awkward, it shouldn't be too hard to convince him.
"To what do I owe the pleasure?" he asks coldly.
"Daddy is getting late," I pout. "I need a big fat cock in my ass... please, Sir?"
"Won't you be in trouble?" he asks.
"We have an open contract, Sir," I lie. "You know how he has to fuck all the new Doms during their training so I get the same freedom as Daddy has, so not as long as I don't come. And of course, Daddy is welcome to join when he eventually arrives."
I don't know why I say that. At that point, my mind is completely blurred with lust, and all I need is someone fucking me.
"Impale yourself on me then, Boy," he smiles. "You'll do all the work to make me feel good."
I'm too happy to comply, and even if his predatory look is a bit scary, I quickly discard my shorts to jump on his cock, after shoving two fingers I had wet with my spit in my ass to quickly prep myself.
"Fuck! You're so tight!" Tanner exclaims as I slowly lower myself on his member.
It feels so good! After a few of his thrusts though, the enormity of what I'm doing suddenly hits me. I'm not supposed to do something like this. Being a bit of brat is a line I'm more than willing to cross but this, this is way more serious! Daddy is going to be so upset when he finds out!
And it doesn't take long before I witness his reaction. I see him enter the main room and search for me... When his eyes connect with mine, I instantly see the explosive display of emotions that assail him: anger, jealousy, disappointment, sadness. He turns around and leaves immediately, and I can tell he's going to hide to cry. Shit! I've hurt him again!
I disentangle myself from Tanner and run out of the main room, just taking my tiny shorts and the small package with me. I don't know how the Dom reacts to my quick escape, and I'm pretty sure I will have to face his wrath later but right now, I have to go to Daddy. I've messed up big time and I need to own it now.
The worst is that I overhear two Doms talking about another one being taken out of the club because of a heart attack... Of course, Daddy hadn't left me because he didn't want to be with me. He just had more pressing duties that required his attention! I can't believe I have been so stupid and missed that!
"Are you coming to rub what you did in my face?" he spits when I enter his office.
Shit! He's even more upset than I thought! He asks me if Tanner forced me, or if everything is a joke to me. Our contract, our feelings... I begin to fully realize just how bad I've screwed up and tears fill my eyes. He doesn't even let me explain... not that there was much explaining to do... I'm just too stupid and insane! Instead, he makes me kneel while he calms down. Having to wait without being able to say anything is the worse.
When he finally speaks, his first question is to ask if I want to get out of our contract. Of course, I never wanted that, he just doesn't understand! Then he tells me I'm in deep trouble, as if I didn't realize that, and I reply meekly I'll take any punishment he decides on. Anything to ease my guilt, as long as he forgives me in the end.
Then he finally lets me explain. I don't try to lie, this isn't the time to play games anymore and this whole thing has been building on miscommunication. I just explain exactly what went through my head in the hope that he can understand and maybe find a way to excuse my behavior, after the right sanction of course. He doesn't seem as angry when he replies, lecturing me about communication and honesty.
I apologize again for my behavior of the past few days and explain to him where I was yesterday afternoon, giving him the military dog tags I ordered for him. I hope the gesture will be a nice first step on the road to forgiveness, and he seems to be genuinely touched when he opens the package I brought with me.
"That's very sweet, Baby," he says, "and you can put them around my neck after you receive your punishment... how does that sound?"
It sounds wonderful. I can bear with anything he throws at me just to be able to live that moment. So I agree and he leaves me in his office, with strict orders not to move. By that point I'm feeling so crappy and disgusted with myself I don't dare change my position by a hair. For the longest time I wait, like a good and obedient Submissive, not moving an inch, guilt slowly eating me alive.
How could I betray Daddy's trust like this? Just because I was horny? But that's no real excuse! My own insecurities are no reason to do that as well. Even if I believed for a minute he was abandoning me, I should never have reacted like this. Would have I liked it if he had gone to some other Sub when I was refusing to blow him? I would probably be angrier at him than he was... And I would be so hurt! Like he was, I realize as I remember the look of anguish on his face when he spotted me in the club.
I don't know how much time I'm left on my own, replaying the events of the night in my head over and over again, but by the time I hear the door of the office open again, I'm a sobbing mess. A hand gently runs in my hair, and I revel in the soothing feeling it creates in me.
"There is no use crying now, Baby," Daddy says gently. "You messed up and now you have to pay the consequences. I expect you to be a good boy and take your punishment without complaining."
"I will, Daddy," I snivel.
"Good! Now since you seem to want to play with Tanner tonight, Baby," he begins sternly, making me cringe with guilt, "I've decided to grant your request. You will be spending this evening with him, he is the one who will take care of disciplining you."
It's as if a sudden cold wind suddenly enters the room, freezing me and making the little hair I have on my arms stand up. He's giving me in the hands of a sadist... not that I don't deserve it... Still, as my mind processes this information and comes with several vivid pictures of what could happen to me, I can't help but shiver.
"I see you're scared, Baby," Daddy keeps on. "With good reason! Maybe you should have thought about it before rushing to him. Tanner has a free hand within your limits. You can expect pain, mental and emotional torture. Nothing will be done for your personal enjoyment, but remember that you can safeword if it becomes too much."
"Yes, Daddy," I reply in a small voice.
"You better be on your best behavior," he whispers. "Tanner doesn't like bratty Subs, and I'm not sure you want to add more to your punishment."
This makes another cold shiver run down my spine.
"Now that you are warned, Baby Boy," Tanner intervenes, "go in my playroom, get naked and wait for me in the apology position. It's like kneeling at attention, but with your arms stretched as far as you can before and your forehead on the floor."
"Yes, Sir," I reply, getting up with my eyes lowered.
"It will be Master Tanner for you tonight," he mentions, cupping my chin with one of his hands and making me look at him. "You will only talk if I ask you a question, and in that case, I expect a prompt answer, is that clear?"
His eyes are so cold that a shiver runs down my spine. I want to flee but at the same time, I want to redeem myself in Daddy's eyes. This is all just a show, I repeat in my head, and I'll be able to get out if I need to.
"Yes, Master Tanner," I correct myself before going out of the office.
On the way to his playroom, then while I am waiting for him in the exact position he requested, there's almost no more fear though. I deserve what he is going to do, and then some. Deep down, I know that even if Tanner is scary, no hard limits will be crossed, and even if they are, I can always stop everything with my safeword.
I guess it's part of the discipline, but Tanner makes me wait forever and my shoulders get very sore after a while. Eventually, I hear the door creaking, and steps approaching, but I don't dare look up without being told to. This is going to be a difficult enough scene without adding to my troubles. I almost wet myself when I hear him shuffling into the drawers and then the noise of a whip, but I don't even flinch or move a muscle.
"Good boy," I hear Tanner's cold voice say. "You have been very naughty... going behind your Dom like this to get fucked by another one... lying through your teeth about your contract... Tsk! Tsk!"
Does he have to rub it in my face like this? Though when I think about it this is probably part of his game... Making me feel bad about what I did...
"Do you have any idea of how much you hurt him?"
Yes, definitely making me feel like crap...
"I think it's perhaps better to show you..." he continues with an evil tone. "You can look up, Baby Boy!"
Shit! He is holding a laptop just in front of my face, where I can see Daddy enjoying the attentions of Joe, James, Steven, and Ryan... at the same time... I can't help but feel a deep pang of jealousy when I see him kiss them in turn, while the others tease his nipples or worship his gorgeous cock. Tears immediately begin to pool in my eyes, but I can't seem to look anywhere but at the screen.
"Not very nice, isn't it?" Tanner smirks. "Your Daddy thought it would be a good thing to show you a taste of your own medicine. He lent me this laptop which shows the camera from his playroom... How does it feel to know he's just next door, doing this... with these boys?"
It feels like complete shit, that's what it feels... He is not supposed to do that without me being present or at least consenting but I guess I deserve it. Fuck! It stings so deeply! I like the four Subs he is playing with very much, and I would love nothing more than joining them... Shit! Is he going to fuck them when he refused to do me for all this time?
A slap on my face pulls me out of my thoughts. Crap! He didn't refrain from using all his strength. That hurt!
"I asked you a question, Baby Boy!" he scolds me.
"It feels horrible, Master Tanner," I sob in reply.
"That's better," he smiles evilly. "Now we can work on your repentance and on your punishment. I will keep letting you look at this video through the whole evening, just to be sure you remember what you made your Daddy feel... But first, you are going to show me how you are going to perform your apology blowjob later. Crawl here and do your best, Baby Boy!"
That shouldn't be too hard! Tanner has taken a seat on the bed, and I go between his parted legs, immediately taking as much of him as I can in my mouth. I apply myself, sucking on the tip of his cock, running my tongue up and down his length.
"You suck at this!" he states, his voice sharp and terrible.
That makes me feel like the worst piece of shit and my tears start again.
"I'm sure you can do better than this and swallow more of my dick."
Well, I can but not without choking on it, and that's in my limits. After all, Thomas did to me, I'm not letting anyone else gag me horribly like he used to.
"I know what you are thinking, he wants me to deep-throat him but that's off limits!" he says with a high-pitched voice which isn't remotely close to mine. "But I'm not forcing you to do anything. I'm just barely stating that you could force yourself a bit more. It's uncomfortable to gag on someone's cock, I know, even more if it gets to the point you're retching. I thought you were supposed to show me that you were sorry though!"
Shit! He is right in a way. I know from when Daddy does it how good it can feel when someone takes your whole shaft down his throat. I don't want him to shove himself down there, but maybe it will be okay if I am the one deciding the pace. It won't be nice but if it's to make Daddy feel good... or because I am punished... I can give it a try.
With this resolve, I lower myself completely and don't stop until my nose hits his pubic hair. Of course, I gag as soon as I go past what I was comfortable holding inside and two more waves of nausea hit me as I try to stay a bit with his whole cock inside my mouth, then I let go and catch my breath before going back all the way down.
"That's better, Baby Boy!" Tanner praises in his cold voice. "You have to actually work to earn your pardon, you know! Show me how much pleasure you are going to give your Daddy!"
I keep what I am doing for the longest time. It's horrible and it reminds me of all the times Thomas punished me with his dick shoved down my throat, but I can let go each time I start to panic because he doesn't hold my head. I certainly wouldn't do it every day, never would be my favorite choice if you ask me, but to beg for forgiveness? Maybe...
I hate the taste of vomit that comes from the inevitable retching so much that I'm really glad when he finally comes down my throat. I try my best to bob a few last times all the way down, swallowing his release and trying not to gag until I milked him dry.
"Nice job, Baby Boy!" he tells me as he ruffles my hair. "Get a look at what Daddy is doing while I go get you a glass of water."
Why do I listen to him? Seeing Daddy getting pleasured by my four friends in turn revives the deep pang of jealousy I was feeling earlier, and I can't tear my eyes off the screen showing me this. I let silent tears run down my cheeks, knowing I completely deserve this.
"Drink!" Tanner orders as he hands me a glass.
I'm more than happy to get rid of the awful taste in my mouth!
"Thank you, Master Tanner," I say meekly.
"You earned it," he replies. "Now let's get down to your actual punishment!"
Wait! Was it just for foreplay? I thought we had begun already!
"Crawl to the cross and stand up, your front against it!" he orders.
I immediately comply and he ties my wrists, then my ankles to the extremities of the cross, making sure I am fully stretched, to the point my muscles start aching a bit. Once he is done, he gives two strong slaps to my buttocks. It's only mildly painful but I can't escape the small yelps that come out with the sting.
"Your Daddy has told me you had three punishments in three days," he comments, with his cold voice. "He's too soft on you, let's make sure you remember your lesson this time...
"I will introduce you to different instruments tonight. I will give you one blow of each to show you what it does, then you will take one good look at your Daddy and tell me which one you think you deserve as well as the number of blows. I will double that amount if I don't think it's high enough."
I make a mental note to never anger a sadist again... This seems like it's going to be both mentally and physically painful!
"First, I will begin with a regular flogger to warm up your skin," he explains. "This should be only mildly painful, as long as I don't get to the most sensitive parts," he adds playfully.
And it's true, this first part isn't too difficult to bear. It's only when he strikes my inner thighs that I can't escape a small cry, but otherwise, I don't let any sound out and manage not to cry. Then he shows me what a sharp blow of the crop does and the hot sting makes me scream, tears immediately pooling in my eyes. How can masochists do this every other night?
He lets me catch my breath before it is taken away once again as I feel pain everywhere on my backside, making me scream a loud curse word.
"Cat o' nine," he informs me. "Next time I hear you curse, I will use it on your dick!" he warns me.
"I'm sorry, Master Tanner," I say when I have caught my breath.
"It's okay, Baby boy. It happens sometimes. Now can you guess what the last instrument is going to be?"
I know perfectly which one he chose, I heard its sound earlier...
"The whip," I reply in a small terrified voice.
I swear I see his erection twitch in response, this man is definitely sick in the head.
"Exactly!" he answers with an evil smile. "Bite," he tells me as he puts a piece of leather in my mouth.
I'm thankful for the little thing because I'd definitely have ground my teeth until they broke after I feel the sharp tongue of the instrument between my two shoulders. This is worst than everything!
Or so I thought, but I quickly change my mind when I see Daddy is fucking the four Subs, enjoying the night with each of them in turns, and it makes me feel horrible once again.
"What's your choice, then, Baby Boy?" he asks, removing the piece of leather from my mouth.
It can't be the whip, that's too much. The one before... maybe I could bear with it... But still, it hurt so much. Though the pain is nothing compared to what I did to him, and if I must do this to atone for my mistakes, I will gladly do it.
"Cat o' nine," I answer meekly.
"And how many blows?"
How much can I endure? I have no idea. Yet seeing Daddy come deep inside Joe's ass stiffens my resolve.
"Fifteen," I tell him with as much confidence as I can muster.
"Duly noted," he responds. "You're going to be such a screaming mess," he adds thoughtfully.
As he says that, he opens the top of his pants to let out his massive erection. How can all of this excite him so much?
When he lets the flogger run along my back, I can't help feeling terrified again. Why doesn't he do it already? The wait is making everything so much worse, as I know the terrible pain that will come.
"Of course," Tanner says at some point, "it doesn't have to be about pain."
Wait! What? There is another way?
"You seem like you would do anything instead, isn't that right, Baby Boy?"
Well not anything per se, because I'm sure he has a wild and sick imagination, but a lot of other things, that's for sure.
"Probably, Master Tanner," I reply.
"I'll make you a deal," he whispers in my ear. "Since you wanted me to fuck you tonight, beg me for it and I won't give you any pain... apart from your butt of course."
Is it that simple? I can't believe I'd get away out like this.
"Please, Master Tanner, fuck me," I exclaim.
"No, no, no, that won't do it," he chuckles. "You have to really mean it. I want to feel you crave my cock."
Well, I can up my game a little, that's true. But why do I have this weird feeling in my stomach?
"I need your dick inside me now, Master Tanner," I reply. "Please, breed me with it!"
Fake, it sounds so fake. I don't want this. I've used those words before but they were for Daddy.
"No, I'm afraid that won't do," Tanner comments. "I want to feel the love."
Love? I don't love him, I love Daddy. I suddenly realize with horror that I'm doing it again. I'm cheating on him and I'll hurt him. He may be fucking other Subs to teach me a lesson but that's because I messed up before. And I would do it again just to avoid a little pain?
"Thank you for the offer, Master Tanner, but I'll take the fifteen blows," I tell him.
This is going to hurt, but this is the right choice. Daddy deserves as much.
"Are you sure?" Tanner asks coldly. "I won't go as easy on you as I did during my demonstration."
Easy? That was easy? Gosh, I could almost pee myself right now.
"Yes, I'm sure," I reply with a trembling voice.
"I will blindfold you to let you focus on the sensations," he says.
After a black cloth covers my eyes, I shiver again as I feel the leather straps slowly run on my back. He really loves to play with my nerves!
"You know what?" he comments after a few minutes of this game. "I've changed my mind. I'll fuck you, after all."
"No please, give me the pain instead!" I cry as he takes a bit of time to stretch my hole with two fingers.
I think he listened to me when he gets them out, but then I don't get any warning before he suddenly shoves himself inside me until his balls hit my buttocks with a deep grunt, making me yelp at the contact with the skin of my poor sore ass. I can't believe he'd still do it when I said no!
Except... the hands that grab my hips are not the same that the one that were there a minute before. They are bigger and gentler. And there is no mistaking the characteristic groans I hear. Even the way he pounds inside me feels familiar. Even if it's fast and rough, it feels loving, warm and safe. It feels like Daddy.
"Daddy?" I ask after a bit.
"Yes, Baby?" he replies, out of breath.
It's really him! I can't believe that! Wasn't he with Joe, Jack, Ryan, and Steven?
"Does that mean you forgive me?"
I demand, my voice shaking with each one of his pounds.
"Yes, Baby, you're forgiven now. I think you've completely realized your mistake now," he tells me. "You don't need to go through pain to prove you love me."
Relief floods through me, accompanied by the pleasure of having him pound against my sweet spot. He isn't mad at me anymore, that makes me so happy.
"But what about Joe and the others?"
"I was never with them tonight, Baby. I wouldn't do that to you now. It was a recording from before," he grunts.
Wait! What? Tanner made me believe he was with other Subs just to fuck with me? That man is definitely pure evil!
I can't focus on these thoughts for very long though because a hand wraps around my length and begins to stroke me in rhythm with Daddy's thrusts. It feels so damn good!
"Come with me, Baby!" he purrs in my ears a few minutes after, and I happily comply, hearing his loud grunts as he unloads in my ass.
Tanner hadn't left the room and was apparently jerking himself off because I can hear his groans as well. I'm too busy being overcome by waves of pure bliss to care though.
Soon after the blindfold is removed and I'm untied from the cross before Daddy carries me to his playroom, Tanner's smirking one last time at me on the way.
Daddy lays me on my front, on the familiar bed I know so well, and massages my back with another ointment.
"We won't speak of it now, but never again, Baby, okay?" he scolds me.
"I won't have sex with another person without asking your permission before, Daddy, I promise," I reply, meaning every word. "Please don't do the same..." I plead.
"I won't, Baby, don't worry! Just remember you are mine!"
"And you're mine as well, Daddy," I answer. "I love you!"
"I love you too, Baby!" he purrs in my ears. "Wasn't there something you wanted to do now that your punishment is over?"
He stops his sweet aftercare for a bit. I put the military dog tags around his neck before we kiss passionately several times. Then he resumes his care of my back and I let myself go with the feeling of those warm hands on my shoulders.
I'm his and he's mine. I've understood where the limit to cheating lies and never again will I cross it.
Published on February 5th 2018
What a punishment! Zach won't be making the same mistake anytime soon. Or ever, for that matter. He'll still drive his Daddy crazy, but within more reasonable limits.
You got a bit more of Tanner in action, and for those who missed it, I've created the third book and posted a teaser yesterday evening. You should add it to your library to get the notifications when I begin to update it. Be aware that it'll only be when this book is finished and the first draft is completed though, so don't expect anything before May.
See you on Thursday for the next chapter!