She ignored the knocking on her door. Hand to her mouth and huddled in the corner. Fear coursing through her system. "Jenna? It-it's me." Uncle Mick called out.
She didn't know what to do. Should she open the door? Should she pretend she wasn't home? But her body reacted on its own, all over again. She stopped herself at the door, that ugly white thing with peeling paint to reveal grey wood underneath. "Jenna?" He asked again.
"Uncle Mick?" She whispered softly, so softly, he wasn't sure he'd heard her.
"Why did- didn't you tell me?" He asked. His heartbreak evident to her ears.
"It's.... It's so stupid." She sighed tearfully.
"Let me in, aye? We can talk about it."
She shook her head like he could see her. "I'm... I'm... I don't want you to see me like this." Her hair was in tangles, cheeks tear stained, clothes rumpled.
"Fuck! Ass!" She jumped, stumbling away from the door. "Oh d-d-d-"
Nauseous, she wrapped her arms around herself. She sat on the edge of that trunk. "I'm... I'm fine." She could hear the break in her voice as she swiped at her eyes.
"Ly- lying t-t-t-to youer -youer uncle!" He cried out, teasing a bit.
She scuffed her foot. He was right. She was anything but fine. She didn't know what to do. She didn't know where else to go. Her last haven was tainted now. She had nothing. No one... How could she have thought it was a good idea to put her uncle- her only family- in this mess?
"Youer not alone lass." He said softly. "..Are you eating?"
He stomach answered that for her. She'd run out of food last night and hadn't had the nerve to leave yet.
"Let... Let the-the-the b-b-b-boys take you-you Fuck! Ass! sh-sh-sh- Oh, let' 'em take yeh out."
She couldn't help but smile at his new tactic. "I... I wouldn't want to trouble them." She tried, a hand wrapped around her elbow, head falling.
"No trouble!" Murphy piped up from her left, their apartment. A sound smack and a scuffle later, had her smiling again. Boys would be boys where ever she went. The familiar sounds put her at ease, between her uncle and them... Ease...
Her stomach grumbled again. She sighed. Uncle Mick thought a lot of those boys, and if no one else, she trusted her uncle. She opened her door. "If he-" She started, only to find her uncle was not alone in the hallway any more.
"We'll be there. Nothin'll happen. And if he shows up, it'll be his lumps." Conner had Murphy in a headlock. "Eh, Murph?"
"Let go!" He was muffled by Conner's armpit. Conner let him go and he rubbed his nose. "Go put on some deodorant before you scare her back in!"
"You- you'll be fine. I- I Tt-t-ttrust my boys." Uncle Mick assured, resting a gentle hand on her shoulder. Those eyes so kind and warm.
Jenna sighed. "I know."
Her uncle went to the elevator with them, but separated on the street. He went to the bar and they went to the market. Her heart nearly stopped when she saw how crowded it was. Of course it was, it was the weekend. Conner wrapped a warm arm around her.
"We're right here, Love." He whispered.
"I can't do this." Her voice hitched as she shook her head, ready to run. Only Conner's arm kept her in place.
"Course you can." Murphy scoffed, "We ain't gonna let nothin' happen to yeh."
Her shaking continued, but she took a step as Conner did. "It's just any other trip." Conner assured.
She nodded, taking deep breaths. Walking down the aisles, Murphy started tossing in a bunch of chips and beer into the buggy.
"Oh, don't t'row that in there!" Conner cried, picking up some of the chips.
"Why not, you eat 'em too."
"Not all of 'em ya nit." He smacked his brother upside the head lightly.
"See that shit?" Murphy pointed.
"Get some healthy shit." Conner muttered. "Don't make us look like a couple bums."
She smiled at the antics, a little more at ease. She had to at least try. Right? "I like the pringles." She offered.
"Oh yeah?" Conner grabbed a few cans and juggled them expertly, letting Murphy catch them and toss them in.
"Oh, Cheetos!" She tossed them in with a laugh.
"Girl after me own heart!" Conner cried dramatically, hand to his chest.
"You and yer fuckin' Cheetos." Murphy rolled his eyes.
"Oh don't even. Who ate the last bag?"
"Yeh ate my lays!"
"Oh, let it go, Murph!" Conner groaned, hand to his face.
She shook her head as Murphy flipped him off when he thought she wasn't looking. "I saw that." She nudged Murphy, who looked sheepish. She grabbed a loaf of bread and moved onto another aisle, a little easier.
They shared a smile, following after her.
She checked her watch and took a deep breath as she went down the vegetable aisle. She grabbed her purse in a tight hold and jumped when Conner put a hand on her shoulder. But she settled down at his silent question. "I... I can't choose." She said softly. "I forgot my list." She let her head fall at the lame excuse.
"Well, there are a lot of choices." He said thoughtfully hand on his chin as he scanned the shelves with her.
"Anythin' but potatoes." Murphy said, getting them all to chuckle.
She grabbed some carrots and a few ears of corn, some tomatoes. She was meticulous. Picking only the best ingredients she could find. By the time they made it to the cold part of the shop, most of the crowd had gone and she seemed to be breathing a little easier. But when they went to the register, she checked her watch again. She hadn't thought to keep time with them there. But now, she was starting to panic. "Hey, whatcha thinkin' for dinner? That Chinese place?"
"Nah," Murphy shrugged.
"You never want Chinese. What about you, Love?"
"Hm? Um... No. I ... I thought....I thought...." She took a breath, the question dragging her from her muddy thoughts. "I was going to.... to cook?"
"Oh no. It's so late. Why don't we just get somethin' Eh?"
"Yeah, when was the last time you ate?" Murphy prodded.
She shrugged, head falling once more as she scuffed her shoe.
"Well, we could get a pizza?" Conner offered.
"Nah, let's get a cheeseburger. That place around the corner's pretty good."
"I.... We... We need to drop the... the food off anyways. I can..."
"Lass? You're shakin'." Conner turned to Murphy. "I'm gonna go outside with her, get some air. You got this?"
"Yeah."
"Oh, no. My- my-!" She protested weakly as Conner put his arm around her once again.
"Easy, Murph's got it." He herded her to the door. "Come on."
"But-"
"I'll be right behind yeh." Murphy assured.
Before she could protest much more, Conner had walked her out and she hadn't had the state of mind to refuse. He led her to a bench and sat beside her. "Easy now, deep breaths, lass." He rubbed her back and spoke calmly to her.
"My... I..." She couldn't seem to spit anything out.
"Sh, sh.... Easy now. Easy." He urged. Worry laced his voice, was she going to go into a panic attack?
Murphy came out pretty fast and she dug in her purse for her wallet. Was that the trouble? She shoved money at him. Murphy looked at Conner, who nodded. He accepted the money and she sat down again, hugging herself, shaking, but calming down.
They'd pushed her about as far as they were going to today. At home, they separated the groceries and she locked the door behind her. They heard her tub going soon after and wondered what she'd do for dinner.
Though, they didn't have to wait long. After her bath, they heard her chopping things and soon after that, smells started wafting through the barrier between the two apartments. What they didn't expect, was a soft kick at their door.
Murphy opened it this time. She blushed and presented two Tupperware containers with chicken and veggies in some sort of cheese looking sauce. "Thanks?" She went to leave, but Conner's voice stopped her.
"Why don't you join us?" He pulled the door open a little more.
She shook her head, blushing even more. Eyes wide. She didn't dare join them while eating. She didn't think she could handle that nerve racking experience.
"Holy shit..." Murphy moaned, taking a bite. Cailin could cook!
She rushed back to her apartment.