TWELVE: Losing no matter what
Hiccup had returned home after dark, entering his home through the roof hatch and slumping onto his bed as Toothless had fired his slab and curled up. Both were clean and had missed the night meal so Toothless had caught some fish on the way and cooked one for Hiccup to eat. But in truth he had little appetite.
Fishlegs had surprised him. His friend tended to be self-conscious and nervous when talking about relationships and Hiccup could only conclude that he and Heather had been having long talks about the subject. But his advice had been unexpected, for Hiccup had truly expected to be advised to keep the contract and protect the Tribe. Fishlegs was very traditional and wanted his family safe...but for him to admit he would take up the burden of protecting the Tribe to allow Hiccup to follow his heart was..unnerving.
Wearily, Hiccup fumbled with the straps and buckles of his leather tunic, his lips curling as he performed the routine task, his mind sliding back to the fragments he could recall of that night, of Astrid in his arms, of her generous love and warmth. He slid the garment over his head and rested it by his bed and as he did so, his hand brushed the little braids that she always wove into his hair. In his mind, he had been delighted when she started to do this, because she was marking him as her territory-and even though he always whined and grumbled about her putting them in, he always kept the braids. And he wanted to be with her so much that it ached but she recognised the duty that came with his blood as much as he chafed against the unfairness of his fate. But how could he fail Berk again? Yet in doing that he failed Astrid...and the baby...
"Milady," he murmured, looking over at Toothless. The dragon was already asleep, deep heavy breaths sounding as the Night Fury slumbered.
"Wow-your eyes must really not be working if you think T looks like Astrid," Tuff said from the hatch. Hiccup yelped and stumbled backwards as he saw the twins hanging upside down from the hatch.
"Gah! Don't you know the meaning of personal space?" he gasped, then glared at them.
"Of course," Ruff said calmly. "But we can't come and bother you if we don't come into your personal space!"
"Or desperate," Tuff continued. "I mean you would have to be really desperate if you wanted to..."
"And we're gonna stop there," Hiccup said urgently. "Look, I just need to be left alone right now..." Ruff looked at him and then shook her head.
"No, you don't," she told him seriously, flipping round to land on his bed and crouch by him. "Look, Hiccup-we know we're crazy and don't concentrate very often but we hate seeing you like this. You without Astrid is a bit like me without Tuff."
"Yeah-that would be terrible...or would it?" Tuff mused, flipping round to crouch on Hiccup's other side. The auburn-haired Viking looked alarmed because he made a policy never to get between the twins and cringed back as they both wrapped an arm around him. "Look, we can see you're unhappy, young Hiccup..."
"Never really bothered you that much before," he muttered.
"And that's unfair," Ruff scolded him as his eyes widened in shock. "You mistake our surreal response to adverse events and refusal to acknowledge your propensity to accelerate into a downward mood spiral as not caring...when our intent is diametrically the opposite..."
"Indeed-as my sibling so accurately delineates," Tuff added and hugged Hiccup tighter. "Hiccup-we're your friends and we want you to be happy..."
"Especially if you can swing a Maid of Honour role in gratitude for our input?" Ruff added hopefully.
"Guys..." he murmured as they wrapped him in their arms.
"Thorston sandwich!" they said in unison. Finally, he stopped struggling and allowed them to hug him warmly until he finally relaxed.
"Thanks guys," he sighed. The twins pulled back.
"Go get her," Ruff murmured. "Astrid is our friend as well but we want you both to be happy."
"But what about Berk?" Hiccup asked.
"Five years ago, who would have predicted we wouldn't be at war with the dragons and would instead be riding them?" Tuff asked him with surprising clarity. "Who knows what will happen next year or in five or ten or a hundred years? You are alive now and you have to decide what world you want to live in-and whether Astrid is in it or not."
"In it," Ruff added in a warning voice.
"So we will be disappointed if you go through with the ceremony tomorrow," Tuff added.
"I have to do what's right," Hiccup reminded them as they both broke out into smiles.
"Then we don't have anything to worry about!" Ruff said happily as the twin rose and began to clamber out of the roof hatch. "Sleep well!" And then the hatch slammed. Toothless opened a weary eye and rumbled a small query.
"Don't ask," Hiccup said tiredly. "As long as Snotlout isn't hiding under the bed, waiting to give me relationship advice..." He paused and bent down just to check. "No, we're okay. Get some rest. I think tomorrow is going to be trying..."
But as he lay on his hard bed, the blanket pulled up over his curled shape, sleep eluded him. All he could hear was a swirl of voices in his head, all telling him what to do. Faces swirled around in the darkness, dominated by the scowling face of his father, the most important person in his life, the person who had always been there with his son...the person he had always wanted to make proud of him.
He definitely wasn't proud of Hiccup now because of what he had done.
How can I make him more ashamed by refusing to do my duty?
Head pounding, the young man screwed his eyes closed. He knew what he had to do. And no matter what, Hiccup lost.
oOo
Gothi, the elder of Berk, was furious. Stoick, the thick-headed imbecile, had managed to ruin what she had been watching develop for the last four years or so, the blossoming of the perfect match between the brilliant, obsessive and self-doubting Heir and the practical, determined and loyal Shield Maiden. When Astrid had consulted her, Gothi hadn't even been shocked, just surprised it had taken the two so long. They were both poor at expressing their feelings and strong-willed so it had been frustrating that they had resisted their mutual attraction for so long. And she had been very exasperated that Astrid had run. Yet she knew her fellow Hooligans and they tended to gossip, accept the most extreme rumour and enjoy stirring up trouble...though they enjoyed a happy ending.
Yet the Bog Burglars didn't offer that. Gothi had even tried communicating with the Bog Elder and the Chief but they dismissed her assertions that she had seen the future in a vision-and it would only work if Hiccup had the blonde Shield Maiden at his side. So she had headed for one final attempt shortly after dawn and ended up outside the Guest House where the Bogs were staying.
And then she paused, listening to the Elder explaining what would happen and she heard Bertha's solid reply, agreeing to the plan. Wizened hand tightening furiously around her staff, Gothi spun and stomped away, her eyes narrowed. She was already planning how she could thwart them and ensure the vision was acknowledged and the Heir back with his rightful mate...
oOo
The village was abuzz as the next day dawned clear and bright. Villagers scurried back and forth, hastening to complete their daily chores so they could attend the ceremony that would bind their Heir to the Heir of the Bog Burglars-and while none of them were really enthusiastic for the match, Hooligans loved a bit of drama and, of course, the accompanying banquet. The Plaza and Great Hall were decorated with bunting echoing the colours of the Hooligans and the Bog Burglars and Bertha's crew were making sure everything was ready for their Heir.
In their guest house, Camicazi was being gotten ready by her mother and the attendants they had brought with them. Honestly, she would rather be dressed in leggings, a tunic and laden with her usual knives and weapons, but Bertha had been insistent: for once, her Heir would like like an Heir and a beautiful female one at that. So the young Bog Burglar had allowed them to tame and braid her wild blonde mane and drape the intricate braid over her left shoulder. Her buxom shape had been clothed in a rich red dress, a jewelled belt tight around her waist and a beaten golden necklace was hanging round her neck. Embarrassed, she held her arms away from her body and spun once.
"How does it look?" she asked and Bertha, her ferocious and independent mother gave a sniff.
"You look ravishing, my darling," she admitted, the faintest quaver in her voice. "No man could possibly resist you. I mean-he would have to be an absolute idiot to fail to see what an amazing and beautiful woman you have become..."
"Actually, from everything I've heard, he's become an amazing man-and is in love with an equally amazing woman...who isn't me," Cami pointed out dryly as her mother's face hardened. She rested her hands gently but firmly on her daughter's shoulders and stared into the bright blue eyes.
"He will do his duty," she said sternly. "Stoick will honour his contract and his son will become betrothed to and marry you. And you will make him forget the other girl and live with you. You will do your duty and provide both tribes with heirs..."
"I better have twins then because I am not going through that twice..." Cami grumbled. Bertha grunted.
"You will do what is expected," she reminded her daughter. "No matter how much it is distasteful, this is your part of the bargain." Cami sighed.
"You know, I don't actually see Hiccup like that," she admitted. "It will be weird..." Bertha sighed.
"Look, we know he has experience and we know he is capable of fathering a pregnancy so it is up to you to make sure he has eyes for you," the woman said sternly. "The girls have done your hair in an approximation of the style his friend wore. The familiarity may help..." Cami stared at her and began to pull at the braid.
"What? No way!" she snapped. "There is no way that I am becoming a pale shadow of his former lover and..." Bertha slapped her hands away and nodded to her woman to repair the damage.
"Camicazi-you will marry him and do whatever it takes to make him yours," she said firmly. "You know Hiccup, you know you can outsmart him. And he will fall for you. His father says that despite his reputation, he has an enormous sense of duty that drives him to risk everything for his friends, his dragons and especially his father." She sighed. "I feel for him that he has to lose the girl he loves-but you bear enough similarity superficially to allow you to tap into some of those feelings. I am sure he will be kind and decent and to be honest, in many arranged marriages, that is more than you can hope for."
Standing still as the women rebraided her hair, Camicazi tried to slow her breathing and felt the unmistakeable stirrings of dismay.
I want more, she realised as her mother draped a fine deep woad blue wool cloak around her, trimmed with white fox fur. I don't want decent, I want...excitement, fire and action and adventure... And I don't really know this Hiccup: he's a man who has the same name as the friend of my childhood but who has done so much more than I could have ever have imagined. He's clearly brave and inventive and clever and loyal. He rides a Night Fury. And hopefully I will ride a dragon as well... And maybe we can have adventures together?
She smiled.
"I'm ready," she said.
oOo
The Great Hall was packed with Hooligans, all standing in a crowd with the Elders at the Table to one side and Gothi standing on the dais, her staff in her hand and Gobber standing beside her, asking her to please scratch clearly for once since his eyes weren't what they had been. The Riders were standing to one side as Hiccup and Stoick entered, followed by Toothless. The young Heir was dressed in his best red tunic under his polished leather woven tunic, a jewelled belt around his waist with a sheath holding his Inferno sword attached. His boot and vambraces were polished and gleaming and his hair was as tousled as ever. A long bearskin cloak flowed from his shoulders, held in place by a large brooch that had a curled black dragon with a red tail painted on-the same symbol that hung over the Dragon Academy.
"Looking good, cuz," Snotlout murmured.
"Yeah," Tuff said cheerfully. "I'd marry you."
Hiccup shuddered.
"No," he said to the male twin. "Just...no." Dagur and Heather stood to one side, both dressed finely. Heather was unfamiliar in a formal dress of deep green and Dagur had simply added a black fur cloak to his usual armour.
"Ah, my little brother-all grown up," the Berserker commented in a proud voice as Stoick glared at him.
"Remember, son-you only speak when you are asked to by the Elder," he said. "Stand and face Camicazi and make your vows of Betrothal...and nothing more." Hiccup nodded silently, casting a glance to Toothless. "And I can't understand why you have to have Toothless here when it may well make the guests anxious..." A small smile tilted the young man's face and he chuckled.
"Well, they are marrying into the dragon-riding Hooligan Tribe and Toothless goes everywhere with me so it doesn't matter if they are scared or not," he said quietly. "I am not going through this without the other person who means most to me." Emerald eyes flicked up. "Unless you want to take that from me as well?" The Chief gently patted his shoulder.
"I am truly sorry that this worked out like this, son," he said and Hiccup nodded, his posture defeated.
"So am I," he said. "Dad-I really have to ask you-as your son, why..."
Then the door opened and Bertha and her party walked in, with Camicazi walking proudly at her mother's side. The young woman was looking achingly like Astrid from a distance but her greater curves and different silhouette rapidly broke the illusion and though he was surprised how well his soon-to-be betrothed scrubbed up. Looking every inch the Heir, Camicazi sedately came to stand opposite him, her chin tilted upwards as she stared into his eyes. She winked.
"You okay?" she murmured and Hiccup shook his head.
"I never will be now," he said quietly and then he sighed. "Cami...we need to talk...urgently..." But she smiled and shook her head.
"Afterwards, sport," she told him gently, seeing his father scowl. "The Chief looks like he's about to bite your head off. And Mom..."
"Well, that would sort my problems out...though they would both end up blasted by Toothless," he told her dryly and smiled. She patted his arm.
"Don't worry," she said. "Nothing can go wrong."
"I insist my Elder says the vows," Bertha announced, indicating to a slight old women at her side, wrapped in a polar bear skin of purest white, her eyes unusual for one was amber and the other grey. Stoick's fists tightened.
"This is Berk and our Elder will be in charge of the ceremony!" he growled. "You want this harridan to speak, you hold the ceremony on Bog." And good luck getting my son there. Bertha advanced, her eyes flashing.
"Your son has been obdurate and difficult throughout the whole process," she growled and her fists tightened. "You have been unsupportive and the Tribe haven't been at all welcoming! If you want me to consider this contract has been in any way honoured, I want my Elder to say this ceremony!" Glaring, Stoick turned his baleful gaze on the small shape of Gothi and she rolled her eyes, shrugging.
"The Elder has graciously agreed to allow your request," Stoick growled as the old woman scratched a couple of symbols on the floor. Gobber's unibrow shot up and he glared at the old woman. Stoick noted his facial expression and gritted his teeth.
"Gobber?"
The blacksmith looked embarrassed.
"She's just disappointed that she won't say the ceremony...aye, that's it..." he said hastily and then scuttled back to his seat at the table, necking a whole mug of mead. The Bog Elder moved forward and lifted her hands.
"Join hands!" she commanded and warily, Cami took Hiccup's hand. The young Hooligan didn't dare look up, not wanting to see Heather's scowling face and the accusing eyes of his friends. "We are gathered here to witness this couple promise to bind their futures together..."
Hiccup zoned out, seeing Camicazi smile at the words. The Elder droned on and he saw his friends watch him worriedly. He knew they didn't approve of his actions but he had to do what he felt was right. And he had lain awake the previous night, listening to Toothless snore and weighing up the reasons to go through with the ceremony against the reasons for leaving and searching for Astrid. And at the end of the day, there was only one logical answer...
"I make that vow," Camicazi said. Then the Elder stared at him and he forced his attention back to the Bog Elder, who turned her mismatched eyes on him.
"Do you, Hiccup Horrendous Haddock the Third, promise to bind your future to this woman, Camicazi Berthasdottir, for the remainder of your life. To love and protect her, to obey and honour her, to do her will and be her partner, to father her children and provide for them, forsaking all others, for as long as you shall live?"
Hiccup glanced up, seeing his father nod encouragingly and Gobber close his eyes. Gothi was whacking him with her staff but the blacksmith was reaching for the mead and ignoring her. Cami smiled and mouthed 'Go on, sport!' But as he looked up, he saw Dagur gesturing urgently to Gothi, who was hobbling towards him and whacked him with her staff.
"Oww!" he yelped. But the Berk Elder was scratching symbols urgently on the floor and underlined one frantically. He stared at them, then looked up, glaring at Camicazi and Bertha, pulling his hand free of the blonde Bog Heir's.
"She says this is actually a marriage ceremony!" he snapped. Stoick stared at his opposite number as Bertha nodded unashamedly.
"To us, there is no difference," she stated.
"Well, there is to us!" Hiccup told her plainly, his emerald gaze sparkling with anger. "Trying to get me married by deception, lying to me...do I want to be part of this?" He stared at Cami. "What do you think?" She gave a smirk.
"I think you'll do your duty," she told him as he lifted his eyes. The twins and Fishlegs were shaking their heads and Snotlout stared into his eyes.
"I know you think I'm a total mutton-head, cuz-but I think you should go and get Astrid," he said. "This isn't you. And the fact they want to trick you..."
"And make you promise to obey her!" Fishlegs piped up. He nodded.
"Son," Stoick told Hiccup, turning to face his only child and Heir, "this makes no difference."
"No difference? It makes every difference!" he protested. But the Chief shook his head.
"You are promising to marry her," he reminded his son.
"Betrothals can be broken," Hiccup retorted. "As I was going to. I was never going to marry her, Dad. We both knew that! But they won't give me an option. And I won't accept that they choose for me, not that we chose together!"
"Hiccup..." Stoick growled but Dagur shook his head.
"And don't even get me started on what these vows are!" Hiccup added agitatedly. His arm flung around to encompass the Bog delegation. "Were you even listening? I won't agree to vows that mean I have to obey her and do her will! I am the Hooligan Heir, supposedly the future Chief of Berk and the Rider of Toothless and I certainly can't have anyone tell me if I am allowed to do anything I want to or not! By taking these vows, I make the Hooligans subjects of the Bog Chief!"
"What?" Gobber suddenly looked up and there was sharp intake of breath in the Hall. Gothi took the opportunity to knock the Bog Elder out cold with her staff., a triumphant smirk on her face.
"Hiccup Haddock, you insult my tribe and..." The warning tone was definite now as Bertha loomed towards him. Toothless growled.
"Son..." Stoick stared at him and then turned to look at Bertha who was clearly furious.
"No, Dad," he said calmly. "I'm making the decision that I should have made the moment that Astrid left: I'm going after her."
"No, you're not!" Bertha snapped but the Hooligan turned to glare at her, his hand dropping to rest on the hilt of Inferno.
"You don't order me around!" he told her sharply. "I am not and never will be your subject. I will not hand Berk over to you. And if try to stop me, you can answer to Toothless!"
"That's my brother!" Dagur whooped as Hiccup backed away and the Night Fury growled.
"You do this, you unilaterally refuse a Betrothal Contract and I have no option," Stoick told him quietly. "It's in the laws from the original Viking Council..." Smiling bitterly, Hiccup stared into his eyes.
"I know, Dad," he said honestly. "I wish to Thor I didn't but I know. And I choose...Astrid."
"No!" Bertha yelled but Toothless growled more loudly now and bounded forward as Heather punched the air. Cami stared at him in betrayal.
"You should have told me..." she said in shock and he stared at her, his eyes filled with regret.
"I tried to tell you but all you wanted to do was talk about yourself," he said tonelessly. "On Berk, on Vanaheim,,,but you never let me speak. I tried to talk to you just now but you wanted to trap me into a wedding I never consented to and make me your subject, not your partner." She gaped. "I don't love you," he said plainly. "I have loved Astrid since I was ten. It is her and no one else. I will not love you-and I cannot do this. I'm sorry but I never promised to get betrothed to you, Cami-and I certainly never agreed to marry you. For you and our mother to try to trick me, to subjugate me...means I actually have a lot fewer regrets. So thank you-for being treacherous. It's off. I refuse."
Then he backed up a pace, his arms rigid at his side with his fists clenched. His shoulders were tense, waiting for the axe to fall and seal his fate.
"Son...you have to!" Stoick breathed, his eyes stricken. But Hiccup gave a small smile. Suddenly he felt light as a feather, all his cares shed.
"I am sorry-but I renounce being your Heir," he said calmly. "Your new Heir can honour this contract-but I will not. I followed my heart before-and it ended the war with dragons. It cost me my leg but it was a small price to pay to protect you all. But this...I can't. I cannot do this without Astrid-and I won't. And if it costs me my place on Berk, my birthright, my Tribe...then so be it. Because Astrid is everything to me."
"You do this and your heart will cause a war," Stoick warns him. "I will have to outcast you..."
"Do it," Hiccup said tonelessly. "I'm leaving anyway." And then he paused and looked at Cami. "I'm sorry," he added. "But without her, I am not Hiccup. Not any more."
"Son..." Stoick's voice was pained as Gobber and Spitelout walked to his sides. But Hiccup nodded.
"It's okay, Dad," he said. "I understand. I still love you." The Chief briefly closed his eyes-and when he opened them, his face was grim. He lifted his arm and his finger stabbed towards the tense, auburn-haired shape.
"Hiccup-you are not a Viking! You are not my son!"
He flinched as he heard the words once more, the words that had been yelled at him for his treason in befriending Toothless-and now for his betrayal in choosing the girl he loved over his Tribe. Fearlessly, he unclipped the brooch and the cloak fell away, leaving him looking like the dragon rider they all knew. For a long moment, he glanced at his father, who pointedly turned away and then his friends, who all whooped.
"Go get her!" Heather called and Dagur nodded, a smile lifting his scarred face.
"If you need help-call," he ordered Hiccup and the young Rider nodded. He turned away.
"Come on, Toothless!" he called, turning to the dragon and swinging into the saddle. He glanced back at the Riders. "Watch over Berk for me!" And he gave a carefree grin as the Night Fury bounded through the crowd, took a leap through the door and launched. The leathery sound of flapping wings was loud in the silent hall as the whine suddenly sounded and they realised he was gone. Hiccup-disowned and outcast-had left Berk in search of the woman he loved.
Stoick turned his gaze on Bertha. his anger almost boiling over. Had she not been so desperate for the advantageous match that would secure the safety of Bog, had she not attempted this treachery and a marriage with vows that no Hooligan would ever agree to, let alone an Heir, he could maybe have talked Hiccup into the official Betrothal Ceremony and then sorted out what happened afterwards later. But now...his gaze flicked to the open doors and the empty blue sky beyond. Then he looked back at the furious Bertha-and to Camicazi, who had an amused look on her face.
"As my Heir has been disowned, the contract moves on to my new adopted Heir," he announced and turned to his nephew. Grinning cockily, Snotlout stepped forward and waggled his eyebrows at Camicazi who suddenly looked a lot less smug.
"You called, Chief?" he grinned.
oOo