CHAPTER FOURTEEN!
FRAGILE KYGO & LABRINTH
THE FOLLOWING DAY happened to be one that I could not quite ignore. The Fourth of July: the best day of the year to light up every firework in sight. To wave sparklers in the air and chase your friends with them. To burn your fingers attempting to light said sparklers.
I'd awoken, of course, buried beneath Luke's arm and legs: In sleep, he was a cuddler, and it was not the most comfortable thing. Still, after managing to disentangle myself from the boy and escape the confines of his sleep-heavy limbs, I trudged into my bathroom and slipped into the tub.
Hot water and darkness and soft music did not help the way I had hoped. The ibuprofen did not seem strong enough to fight the terrible throbbing in my head. And at this point, there would probably be no possible solution to rid the swelling beneath my eyes.
The bath, in conclusion, did little more than give me more time to feel depressed and alone. After getting out and wrapping a towel around myself, I went back into my bedroom, and was startled to hear a knock at my door.
Some stupid, petty hope brushed my mind that it might be Jordan, coming back with the news that he had changed his mind. Needless to say, my luck did not run this high—but it was a pleasant thing to come face-to-face with Leah and Ivy, both bearing some sort of gift, their faces pulled into sympathetic hesitation.
That morning consisted first of eating the peanut butter and chocolate chip waffles Leah had whipped up and not using the lighter Ivy had brought to burn pictures of Jordan. While I was heartbroken, I was not hostile, not bitter; it was my fault for being in love with someone else. If my boyfriend was still hung up on his ex, I probably wouldn't be able to just dismiss it that easily—and I explained all of this to the girls, as they sat with me on my bed.
Ivy shook her head of thick curls, so that they bounced wildly, perfect brows knit into a frown. "No, baby girl. If he really wanted to be with you, he would have stayed and tried to get through it with you."
The words hit me like a bullet to the chest, puncturing the thin veil of protection I had worked so hard to weave. After catching my breath, all I could do was stare at Ivy, throat clenching, trying not to cry. That opinion had certainly changed the game, and I was feeling particularly fragile.
Leah nudged Ivy, shooting the girl a soft glare—a look only Leah Briley could muster: Sweet but dangerous, all at the same time. "Don't say that. I don't think that's true, Kayla. People handle these situations differently. And that letter seems pretty sincere to me."
Assuming a slightly ashamed expression, Ivy nodded, softly this time. "Sorry, Kay. She's right. What do I know? I've never been in, as Kat would say, a proper relationship, so...don't listen to me."
Soon after, another knock sounded at my door. Before any of us could move to answer it, the door swung open, and in poured several boys, led by Ham, who held a Monster energy drink close to his shrinking gut.
"Hope this is still your favorite," Ham said, one eyelid dropping into a wink.
A swift glance answered my suspicions. All of the boys—solely the original sandlot crew, sans Benny—arrived bearing gifts. Timmy brought a cup of cookie dough ice cream—"I've heard that ice cream is a girl's go-to after a breakup"—and Tommy brought a Hershey's bar.
Yeah-Yeah, knowing how I loved scented candles, dropped a large Yankee candle into my lap—which, most likely, had once rested somewhere in his house. He flashed a small smile, pressed a soft kiss to my cheek, and moved along.
Squints, being the smartass he was, gave me a plastic spoon. "You'll need a spoon to eat that ice cream, and I figure you don't feel like going all the way downstairs for one. You're welcome."
Smalls gave me a red, white and blue bandana. He shrugged, and said, "I don't know if you still wear bandanas, but they were on sale, since it's the Fourth of July and all...." Before he could walk away, I smiled, folded the bandana, and tied it around my lower thigh.
Kenny, having dealt with my new obsession, handed me a bag of Takis. Looking at the purple bag, however, brought a small tingle of pain. Jordan had been the one to introduce me to them. He hugged me tightly, then allowed Bertram to be the last.
Bertram did not have an object for me, but his calm demeanor and enveloping hug was a surprise in itself. Now, there was no tackling, no playfulness. Bertram's care and concern was soft—softer than I thought Bertram could be.
His chin rested upon my shoulder, and his fingers threaded through my hair. "It's okay," he muttered, so that only I could hear. "You're the strongest person I know. You'll pull through." He pulled away then, flashed a bright smile, and added, "And we've got a night game to worry about."
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THAT horrible feeling of emptiness faded fully within the first hour. All thanks to my wonderful friends.
By the time the sky had begun to darken, I felt so good that I even allowed Ivy to doll me up a bit. I'd lightened up to the idea of wearing more outstanding makeup—and that was the only sort of makeup Ivy would do. Even if it was simply long eyelash extensions, something had to jump out.
In honor of the Fourth of July, Ivy painted my lips and eyelids cherry red. The eyeshadow I wasn't so sure about, but Leah—Leah!—liked it so much that she asked Ivy if she could do the same for her. And if Leah was asking for makeup at her own free will, well, it must be very good.
After dressing in navy blue running shorts, a white t-shirt, black Nike shoes, and the red, white and blue bandana Smalls had given me still tied around my thigh, I left the house with everyone (including Luke and Liz). Residents had set up a neighborhood barbecue sort of event, but, sadly, none of us had the time to attend.
Across the street, Benny and Brandy had just stepped onto the yard. Unless I was mistaken—which I probably was—Benny's eyes seemed to lock on me.
"We ready or what?" Ham shouted, moving to pluck a hotdog from one of the several tables in the street.
Benny and Brandy had started to jog. The boy flashed a thumbs-up—and that was our cue to run.
We weaved through the crowds, avoiding the playing children and the pop rocks they threw around our feet. We were too excited to care. I could feel the adrenaline starting to course, buzzing in my veins and fully shoving away any negative thought. There was this, now, and nothing else.
Benny caught up, of course. Eventually, he made it to my side. His open button-up flannel flapped behind him, and in his hand he held a wooden bat. He looked over at me and laughed. I laughed, too—and again it was that pure sort, the kind of laugh that bubbled from your chest and pushed past your mouth: the best kind. Again, I felt like a child, playful and ignorantly blissful—not a sixteen-year old girl who just had her heart broken.
Besides, when I looked into Benny's eyes and when my gaze fell upon that gorgeous smile, all else would always fall away. All of the beauty in the world was fueled from that boy.
Overhead, the sky darkened to navy, and all fifteen of us descended upon the sandlot. It was a bit fuller than usual, but it felt right—newer, maybe, but ultimately right.
There was no time for a proper conversation. Benny had tried to stop me, but then the initial firework burst in the sky, splattering a million glittering specks of gold, and everyone started to yell in excitement. Benny had only managed to speak my name before glancing up at the sky, eyes alight.
"What?" I urged, not really sure I even wanted to hear. Probably he had heard about the breakup and was going to attempt some bit of feeble consolation. And I didn't want that.
I wanted baseball.
Fortunately, Benny shook his head, shoulder lifting in a slight shrug. Perhaps he had noticed my mood change. "Never mind. It can wait."
Another firework went off, and was followed by another in the next second. The show was about to really hit the road. This would be my second night game, and looking back on the memories of my first brought on a powerful surge of nostalgia. This felt like home.
Trying not to think of the romantic details of the Fourth of July two years ago, I extended a hand. Benny glanced at it, hesitated for a moment...and then realized what I was asking. With a twist of the lips, he placed the handle of the bat into my palm. My fingers closed around the smooth, polished wood, and an odd sense of power filled me to the brim.
A grin grew on my mouth. Ham's helmet rested atop his head, but he was staring up at the sky. Fireworks cracked across the endless expanse, defeating the darkness in incessant sprays of brilliant color. Violet fire burst apart in the shape of a smiley-face, and it only pushed my smile further.
"Thanks, Benny boy." I patted the boy on the shoulder and took off toward home base.
It took Ham a slap on the shoulder, but he eventually slipped his mask on and shouted, "Play ball!"
The sandlot at night was beautiful. Splashed in a thousand colors, however, it was utterly magnificent, magical. This—heels dug into the dirt, fists clenched around a bat, mouth pursed in focus. Surrounded by the greatest friends of all time. The summer breeze slipping against my sweaty skin. This was where I belonged.
After tearing his eyes away from the sky, still looking mesmerized, Kenny pitched the ball. The fireworks provided excellent light, and, to my surprise, I hit the ball on the first pitch. The force sent it flying high and far, and I could feel the slight vibration from the bat in my hands.
That smile returned to my face, and I darted toward first base. Elizabeth, who had remained at the dugout with Leah and Ivy at first, moved to retrieve the dropped bat and catch the next pitch.
Meanwhile, dust mounted in my wake, kicked up from my shoes. My hair, up in a ponytail, waved from side to side. Tommy stood at first base, but he wasn't exactly guarding it at the moment. His head was tilted backward, mouth agape, eyes filled with colorful wonder.
Someone was moving in the outfield, but I couldn't tell if he had the ball or not. It didn't matter. Bertram, who stood at second, would not be able to catch it, for he was gazing upon the sky as well.
Still, I remained at first base, just to glimpse the sky and all its beauty. Someone must have been paying attention, because the ball sailed toward Kenny. He seemed to notice it at the last second and barely caught it in his glove.
"This is going to be hard," I laughed, breathily.
"Huh?" Tommy's eyes flickered to me, but only momentarily, and I laughed again.
Across the field, at third, stood Benny. He was throwing his arms into the air, obviously exasperated. The giggles would not stop coming.
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THE duration of the firework show was insane. As I guarded first, I watched as Benny passed third base and ran for home. A smile had just begun to form on my lips—and then I noticed that Brandy had left the dugout and was making her way toward home.
No one was really paying attention now. The game would soon end, and everyone wanted to catch the remnant of the firework show. I could understand that; I wanted to watch it, too. But something always brought my eyes back down—back to Brandy.
Oh, no, I groaned internally. Oh, shit. Benny hit home, and Brandy was only a few feet away, and he had caught sight of her. He slowed to a walk, but continued toward her, nevertheless. In the multicolored light, I noted the downturn of his lips, which was odd.
Still, Brandy caught him the moment she was close enough. Her hands slid around the back of his neck, and she pulled his head down, connected her lips with his. My eyes lingered, in spite of the pain.
It was painful because, two years ago, Benny had kissed me for the first time in the same area—by the batter's box. I want you too, he had murmured, touching my cheek, like you want me.
The image flashed behind my eyelids like the burst of a firework. Twinkling sparks of green and silver rained from the sky, but it wasn't enough anymore—nothing would be enough to distract me from this nightmare.
I turned my head and found that Kenny had left the pitcher's mound and was crossing the field; Leah approached him as well. In the outfield, Elizabeth and Luke had managed to press each other against the fence. Everyone else's gazes were locked upon the sky, full of awe and admiration.
Perhaps it was dramatic of me, but it was becoming too much, too quickly. Before I knew it, I found myself inching away from base and toward the nearest exit. No one noticed. And so, in moments, I escaped the sandlot. Escaped all that dwelled inside of it.
Spending the rest of the night with my parents and baby sister sounded like a better idea, anyway.
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TESSA squealed with delight in my arms. She reached for the sparkler in my hand, but I held it as far away as possible.
"No, no," I said, in a tone that sounded motherly even to my own ears. On the porch steps, my mother watched with a grin. My dad was setting up a firework in the street, where the gathering had yet to end. "You can't touch that—it'll burn you."
Tessa's smile fell when she noted the emphasis on the word burn. Burn equaled bad. She retracted her hand, moving to place the tip of her index finger between her teeth. It was probably the cutest thing I had ever seen, this habit of hers for whenever she was told "no." Her adorableness would someday get her out of a lot of trouble.
"Oh, baby," I laughed, dropping the finished sparkler and hugging the small girl tightly against my chest. "It's okay."
As I planted several kisses to Tessa's pale, plump, baby-smooth cheek, the firework went off. At first, the popping had scared her, but she liked the colors more. The moment our firework exploded, Tessa jerked to look up and watch. The amber spray was enormous.
Enveloped in all of this, I did not notice that someone was approaching me. And I certainly did not notice that it was Benjamin Rodriguez. Within moments, he entered the yard—and that was when my heart skipped a beat.
"Hey," Benny breathed, bat swinging in one hand. Sweat glistened on his forehead and bronze arms. "Why'd you go?"
"Uh—Um...."
Benny stopped a couple of feet away from me, seemed to notice the discomfort in my face, and dropped the subject. He bent to meet Tessa's eyes, a beautiful smile playing on his mouth.
"Hi, there, pretty girl!" When Tessa giggled and hid her face, Benny ran his fingers through her soft blonde curls. "You like the fireworks?"
I couldn't hide my own smile. "She loves them. They're, like, the most fascinating things in the world to her."
Benny chuckled, ruffled the baby's hair...and then turned his gaze to me. His smile faltered. "Um, hey...I was just...I wanted to tell you that I'm sorry about you and Jordan. I always knew he hadn't stopped being an asshole."
The words caught me off guard, but I quickly recovered. "Well—no, he's not an asshole." I chanced a quick glance at Tessa, but she was staring at the sky again; it wasn't as though she would understand the word anyway.
Benny scratched the back of his neck. "Look, I heard about all of it. I'm sorry I didn't come to you sooner, but...you know, I've been busy. It isn't a good excuse, but—"
"No, Benny, it's fine." I adjusted Tessa on my hip, meeting Benny's gaze squarely. "You've got other things to worry about. Better things."
His face fell. "Makayla—"
"I don't mean that in a bad way," I broke in, in a sigh. "I just mean that...if I had to choose between spending the day with my boyfriend and consoling my ex over his breakup...I think the choice is pretty obvious."
In truth, I didn't want to actually give a straight answer. If that ex happened to be Benny, well...I'd think that I would choose him over anyone. Maybe it was wrong, but it was the truth.
"Yeah," Benny said, quieter this time. "To me, it is. I'd choose to console my ex."
The ghost of a smile turned on my lips. "I just realized that I'm your only ex."
"Precisely."
For a moment, all I could do was stare at him. Then I sighed. "Well, don't worry about it. It's done. With all of the boys and the girls, I had more than enough consolation. I'm fine."
Tessa started to cry. "Ma— Ma—"
"All right," I whispered. "Hold on, Benny."
He stuffed his free hand into his pocket and waited in place as I took Tessa to our mother. The baby rubbed her fists against her eyes; she was sleepy. As I placed her in Mom's arms, Mom grabbed my wrist.
"What're you talking about?" Mom winked.
"Mom," I groaned. And then, in a whisper, I added, "I'll tell you when he leaves."
My heart pounded as I made my way back to Benny, who still stood just ahead of the sidewalk. He had been looking out at the little neighborhood "party," eyes caught on something, but once I got close enough, his gaze fixed upon me.
Before I could reach him, Benny dropped the bat. And the moment I was close enough, he pulled me into his arms, wrapping me in his warm embrace. His arms were warm and slightly damp, but that hardly mattered. And his arms were bigger than before, much more muscular. Still, I could imagine him just the way he had been, a bit shorter and skinnier.
I rested my head on his chest, felt and heard the rapid thrum of his heart against my ear. It was a wonderful, powerful, eye-watering thing, to know that, in all of the years that humans existed, God had placed me on this beautiful Earth around the same time as Benjamin Franklin Rodriguez. That I had moved from a tiny town in Tennessee all the way to California, and had, by some miracle, ended up moving directly across from him. That his heart was beating, and he was alive, and he was so extraordinary.
Wow, I wanted to say. I really love you.
"Do you remember," Benny whispered, "two years ago exactly? Remember the significance of that date?"
Of course. We kissed. You asked me to be your girlfriend. I said yes. I wouldn't be able to forget it if my life depended on it. Amnesia couldn't wipe those memories away. What kind of question is that?
"No."
Benny froze.
"I mean—" I sighed deeply, pulled away from Benny, stepped back. Our eyes met, and there was terrible disappointment in his. "Of course I remember. But you of all people shouldn't even be thinking of that. It's not right. All right?"
"Benny!" The voice was distant, but I could tell that it was Brandy.
I hooked my lower lip between my teeth. "Thanks for talking to me, Benny. It means more than you'll ever know. I'm going to go get Tessa to sleep. I'll see you later."
Benny bent to pick his baseball bat up as I backed away. He attempted a smile, but it was extremely feeble—it couldn't pass for a genuine smile by a long shot.
Still, he pointed at his chest, then to me, and replied, "Not if I see you first."
Somewhere near, another firework exploded in the sky. This one literally rained gold, and each individual speck seemed to explode a second time, creating a sound like a million plastic bubbles popping simultaneously.
I offered one last smile, turned, and made my way back to the house. All the while, I tried my hardest to hold back tears.
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i procrastinated so much and literally wrote everything past the first section in a night. i just finished, and it's 1 am. (i don't have school for the rest of the week)
anyway, i've got a finn wolfhard fanfic out that i'll be writing soon. it's called "kings of leon" and you should gooo add it to your libraries. (;
stay gold
x kayla
02.08.18