“If we're going to discuss my mother I need to sit down,” I said turning away from them and walking towards the couch. They followed behind me. I sat down and leaned my elbows on my knees. I held my face up with my fist. “Okay. Let's hear it,” I sighed.
"Dominick and I think your mother needs...help. As you've witnessed her behavior is getting out of hand. We're at a point now where we're genuinely concerned for her well being---"
"And the baby," Dominick added.
"Okay," I said clasping my hands together, "I hear y'all, but why are y'all enlisting my help," I said looking between them. "Has either one of you considered talking to my other siblings about this? I'm not her only child, thank God," I mumbled.
"Baby girl we know, but you're the only one who can really attest to her," he looked around for the word, "outburst." So we figured that maybe you could be of some help."
I threw up my hands and sighed. "Well, what exactly are you two looking to do? Send her to therapy?"
"Yes. Aimé and I think that maybe you could help steer her in the right direction."
"MmMm. Nope," I said putting my hands together and holding them up to my chin. "She's not gonna go for that. Trust me." I sat up. "Number one, she's too prideful to admit that she has a problem. Number two, she's not going to want to hear anything from me. I mean, she thinks that I'm the reason you signed the divorce papers," I said pointing to my dad, "and believe me she is not happy about it. I am the last person she wants to hear from. I'm sorry y'all," I said standing up, "but I don't think this will work. Besides what makes y'all think she'll listen to me?"
My dad started talking. "I know that she's been extremely hard on you lately, but I also know that she has a soft spot for you. You can help her remember that," he said putting his hand over mine. "Just play nice for a little while."
"I'm sorry," I said shaking my head, "but I don't want to manipulate her into going to therapy. She already thinks we're colluding against her. I---I just can't play on her emotions like that. I'm out," I said holding up my hands.
"Alyssa what are you saying," Kevin cut in, "she needs to go. She's been spazzin' for nearly a month now. She threatened our unborn child this morning. You said yourself that you want to file a restraining order against her. You don't want her to get the proper help that she needs?"
"Kevin please, okay. It's not that I don't want her to get help, it's just that if I'm going to reconcile with her I want it to be real, not no manipulative bullshit. She's been a lot of things these past couple of weeks, we know, but she's still my mother."
"That's not how you carry it when you're around her. Y'all go at it like y'all finna throw down in the streets."
I slowly turned my head to look at Kevin. "That may be so, but that doesn't mean she deserves to be bamboozled into a therapy session. I'm all for helping her, but not like that. It's not right."
"So what do you suggest," my dad asked.
I thought for a moment. "How about y'all hold a family meeting. Let her know before hand that you all want to talk with her so thataway she doesn't feel ganged up on. Maybe she'll be a bit more receptive to the idea of therapy after she's heard everyone out."
"Okay," my dad said shaking his head. "I could roll with that."
"And will you be attending this meeting," Dominick asked with his eyebrow raised.
"No. I don't want to push myself into anything prematurely with her and quite frankly I'm not ready to forgive her yet. I already told her I needed more time, so."
"This only works if everyone is there," my dad chimed in. "What is she gonna think if you don't show up?"
I held out my hands and patted them against my legs. "That I was smart not to come."
"Or that you didn't care enough to come," my dad said pointing at me. "We are a family and we have to stick together even when it's hard." He looked at me and grabbed ahold of my shoulder. "You need to be there so you can let go of this burden that you've been carrying," he said pointing at my heart. "Get in the middle of this thing and confront her. You don't have to say it in front of us, but it still needs to be said."
I could feel my eyes getting watery. "Damn it," I mumbled as I dabbed underneath my eyes.
"You're hurting. You took quite a hit, but don't let that prevent you from seeing her. You aren't the only one who has been wronged by your mother. We have been too," he said pointing between him and Dominick. "So have your siblings." He wiped my eyes. "Listen. I know it's hard, but your mother needs us to rally around her and show her support. She's probably been dealing with things that we can't even begin to understand. She doesn't need to go through it alone any longer."
I looked up at the ceiling and wiped my face and chin. I took a deep breath. "Okay. Can you give me a few days to think about it?"
"What's there to think about," my dad asked.
"Daddy you're pushing," I informed him. He held up his hands defensively. "Okay. Sorry."
"Baby. Come on," Kevin encouraged. "He's made a really great point though," Kevin chimed in.
"Kevin," I sighed. "I said that I needed time."
"I know but---"
I cut him off. "Kevin. You're pushing. You know I don't like it when you do that."
"Baby if you would just---"
"Kevin," I called out to him again, "Stop."
My dad clasped his hands together. "Okay. Just call me when you've made up your mind. I'll call everyone else later and run it past them," he said tapping my knee.
"Okay daddy."
"I'm gonna get ready to head out, "he said standing up. I got up from the couch and gave him a hug.
Dominick followed suit. "I should get going too."
"Uh Dominick," I said grabbing ahold of his arm, "before you leave can I talk to you for a sec?"
He looked at me. "Sure. What's on your mind?"
I looked between my dad and Kevin. "Uh. I was hoping I could speak with you privately."
"Okay sure. You can walk me out."
"Great. I'm gonna go put on my shoes," I said leaving the living room. "See ya dad," I said over my shoulder.
After rushing my feet into a pair of shoes I headed back out into the living room. "You ready," I asked Dominck. "Yep. Let's go."
We walked silently out into the hallway and towards the elevator. Dominick pressed the down button and we waited. "So, what's up?" Dominick asked as he turned to face me.
The elevator doors dinged open and we stepped inside. Dominick pressed the number one. "So I noticed that you gave your daughter my number," I started. "She text me last night."
He held his hand up to his head and silently cursed. "I'm so sorry. Was that okay? I just sent your number to her without thinking. I should have asked first."
I waved him off. "It's fine I just---well," I said taking a breath. "She said that she was excited to meet me and if I'm being honest, I'm not quite there yet," I winced. I looked at his face for a reaction and continued. "So, I was just hoping that we could, ya know, hold off on the whole siblings united thing. At least until this whole thing with my mom is resolved."
"Oh okay," he said sounding a tad dissapointed.
I grabbed ahold of his arm. "I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to be such a let down."
We stepped out of the elevator and walked towards the exit. "I'm not let down, but Dominique will be," he said standing at the front door. He turned to look at me. "She's known about you her whole life. For seventeen years she's been anxious to meet you. So imagine the look of surprise on her face when I told her my daughter wanted to meet me." He gave me a half smile. "She completely flipped out. She's been wanting a big sister for as long as I can remember and... well she has one," he said pointing at me, "but she's not ready to be one, so." He gave me a tight-lipped smile.
My heart dropped to my stomach. "Dominick," I started.
He cut me off. "I know I barely know you, but I have to be honest. You're going to miss out on some pretty great things if you continue to let your mother's behavior negatively impact you. One of those things being Dominique. What your mother did was wrong, but," he shrugged, "life goes on." He pushed open the door. "I gotta go. See ya," he said leaving out.
I stood at the door and watched him leave. Gio walked past him as he headed inside. "What was that about," he said looking behind him.
I shoved my hands into my sweatpants pockets and looked up at him. "More drama."
"Girl your life is messier than the Kardashians," he said pressing the up button on the elevator. I laughed. "You don't even know the half."
He raised his eyebrow at me and grinned. "Care to fill me in."
I shook my head. "We gon' need more than an elevator ride to cover all of this," I said stepping into the elevator.
"That bad, huh?"
I nodded my head. "Mmhm." I leaned my head back into the wall and sighed. "I need something to help alleviate this stress." He looked over at me and grinned. I scrunched up my face and grinned back at him. "What!"
"I know a couple things that could help and one of them is in your apartment right now," he laughed. I playfully shoved him and laughed. "Good one."
He nudged me. "Or I can mix you up one of my famous concoctions," he said raising his eyebrow. "You know that'll get you right," he smiled.
I looked over at him. "Tempting, but I can't. I'm pregnant."
His eyes grew big. "No shit! Are you serious," he grinned. I nodded my head. "Yeah." The elevator doors opened. "Oh my goodness," he said pulling me into a hug. "Congrats! When you find out what you're having let me know so I can buy little Davis a gift."
I walked backwards out of the elevator. "Will do," I said. I held up the peace sign. "Later G."
"Later Lys," he said as the elevator doors begin to close behind me.
I headed back into my apartment and bypassed Kevin on the couch. I walked straight back to my room and started to undress. Shortly after, Kevin came in behind me. "So you gon' act like you ain't see me out there waiting for you," he asked plopping down onto the bed.
I sighed and looked at him through the dresser mirror. "I just want to get in the shower."
"Okay. I'm getting in too," he said as he started to strip down.
I raised my eyebrow at him. "No you not. I want to shower in peace, not with my worrisome fiancé."
"Oh so it's like that," Kevin said looking me over from the bed.
"Yeah it's like that," I said as I headed for the door. Before I could reach it Kevin hopped up in front of me and shut it. He pinned me up against the door. "I'm not fighting with you," he said calmly, his lips just inches away from mine. I huffed. "Kevin I'm really not in the mood for this. Move," I said pushing him to the side. I opened the door and headed down the hall to the bathroom.
..
Once I was dressed I went into the living room where I found Kevin watching TV. I grabbed the remote and turned it off. He looked up at me. "What's up," he asked me as I walked towards him. Kneeling in the chair, I put both of my legs on either side of him. I hovered over his lap.
He looked up at me and grinned. I ran my fingers through his locs. "Remember what you promised me," he asked
I looked at him and tried not to smile. "To always make room in my heart to forgive you."
He raised his eyebrow at me. "So?"
I looked up at him and rolled my eyes.
"That doesn't sound like forgiveness," he teased.
"I forgive you," I grinned.
I held his face and kissed him softly. "And I'm sorry. I overreacted," I whispered as I settled into his lap.
"Don't worry about it," he said kissing me back. Immediately after there was the sound of beat boxing on the door. I huffed and leaned my forehead on his. "That ain't nobody but your friends. I'm not getting the door," I said as I leaned back in to kiss him. He grinned at me in between kisses, his hands fondling me underneath my shirt. "I'm not getting it either," he replied.
Just then the door opened. "What's up fam," Mark said coming in with the usual suspects behind him.
"Look who forgot to lock the door this time," Kevin mumbled. I groaned into his chest.
"What's going on over here," Mark cheesed as he walked over to us.
I sighed and climbed off of Kevin's lap. I sat beside him, tucking one leg under me and raising up my other leg on the couch. "You got eyes. What did it look like when you came in?"
Mark laughed. "Why you getting snappy with me? I didn't leave the door unlocked," he teased.
"Don't get cute. I'm not above kicking your ass out," I replied. I gave my attention to Adrian. "Ade where's J," I asked nodding my head in his direction.
"She's on the way," he reassured me.
"Great, because God knows I can only tolerate so much testosterone in a day. I only have enough energy for one."
Kevin threw his arm around my neck and whispered something in my ear that made me laugh.
Mark mimicked me.
"You're being annoying today," I said with squinted eyes.
"No. I'm not. You're just," he pretended to think of the phrase for a minute, "sexually frustrated," he laughed.
"No. I'm pregnant you asshole and my baby doesn't like you," I retorted.
Mark held his hand over his mouth and looked around the room. "What? How did I miss that," he said leaning down to hug me. "Congratulations!"
"Where the heck have you been," Josh asked from across the room?"
"Up his lil girlfriend ass," I teased. "When we finally gon' meet her?"
"Soon," he grinned. "Soon. Just be patient."
"Hey, hey," Janelle said as she came into the apartment.
"Nellie," I said hopping up to greet her. I threw my arms around her neck. "I feel like I haven't seen you in forever," I said holding on to her tightly.
"Hey," she said giddily as she hugged me back. "How are you mama," she said rubbing my belly.
"I'm doing okay," I grinned. "Come with me," I said grabbing her hand. "We have so much to discuss."
"Dang Alyssa. You ain't even let her greet anybody else," Josh said cutting in.
"And," I said mugging him playfully, "what's your point?"
"My point is don't be rude hoe."
Janelle went over to him and hugged him. "Hi Josh," she said sitting in his lap. "How are you today," she grinned.
He laughed. "I'm good J."
"Good," she grinned back. "You wanna come chat with us?"
"Ugh. I thought you'd never ask. Yes," he said getting up from his seat. Janelle and Josh followed me back to my room.
"So what's been going on with you," Josh asked me as he plopped down on the bed.
I sighed. "So, listen. Y'all are pretty much up to speed on everything except for how dinner went with Dominick and my mom last night."
They perked up and listened intently to the story for the next hour. They were in shock after I dispelled the details of last night and this morning.
"So what are you going to do about your mom," Josh asked. I shrugged my shoulders. "If I'm being honest," I started, "I'm still trynna figure out if she can really be saved."
"And what about Dominique? Are you going to text her back," Janelle asked me.
I looked between her and Josh.
"I was already considering it before, but now I'm really unsure on what I should do. I want to reach out to Dominique, because it feels like the right thing to do, but after what Dominick said to me earlier I don't want it to feel like an obligation." I took a pause and looked between Janelle and Josh. "At the same time, I am curious about her. I mean, she's my sister."
Janelle tapped my leg. "Well," she sighed, "it looks like someone has a few decisions to make."
Josh stood up from the bed and stretched. "Yeah. And you better think long and hard on what you're gonna do, because you don't want to make the wrong decision and end up regretting it."
In the weeks to come, those words would replay in my head. "You don't want to make the wrong decision and end up regretting it."