Chapter Two: Sun v Air.
I fall asleep against Brett, with his face in my hair and his words in my ears.
He must have walked out for a few minutes after I fell asleep though, because I wake up to see him walking back into my room, his cell phone in his hands. He smiles gently at me when he sees that I am awake and he strides over to where I rest, bending down to kiss me on the lips before he crawls into bed with me. He entraps me in his arms again and rests his chin on my head.
We are both silent for a few minutes before:
"I just got off the phone with Anna Lynn." I stiffen and Brett must feel it because he tightens his hold on me. "She feels awful about what happened. She wants to make it up to us-"
"To us?" I cut in, effectively pulling myself away from my boyfriend. I sit up and he follows suit. "I don't remember her doing anything to wrong you because, in case you forgot, you had as much a hand in what happened as she did!" I snap, my voice wavering and my eyes watering as I wipe at them. "So please explain to me why she has to make things up to us instead of just me."
Brett looks at me, his mouth opening and closing, helping him resemble a fish.
Finally, he seems to get a hold of himself and shakes his head.
"Giselle, that's not the point. The point is that she's sorry. I'm sorry. God, we're both sorry and she thinks the three of us should go out to dinner to talk about what happened-"
I barely refrain from throwing my guts up.
"I'm not going to that dinner," I tell Brett, my voice firm and scratchy. He frowns.
"Elle-"
"No, Brett. Because I've been to dinner with you two before and it's always you two having a discussion that I either don't understand or don't care to understand and I shouldn't have to deal with that. Not anymore. And God knows I don't want to discuss anything that happened between you two."
"Giselle, what are you-"
"Brett. I'm sorry, but you need to make a choice. Me or her," I finally spit out.
Brett's green eyes widen and he pales a bit as he stares at me in shock.
I force myself to keep eye contact with him instead of looking away from the growing disappointment in his eyes.
"Giselle…I thought you were different," he manages to say, his voice thick with hidden emotion.
I swallow.
"Different from who? What?"
"From my ex-girlfriends. Who always gave me an ultimatum. I thought you were different from them."
My eyes flash, angrily.
"I am different. I completely ignored the fact that she's in love with you and-"
"For Gods sake, Giselle! Anna is not in love with me!" He roars, catching me by surprise. I grit my teeth and feel my anger rise another degree.
"Oh, please! Have you seen the way that girl looks at you? Heard the way she talks about you? She treats you like you're the moon and the stars!" Brett stares at me, slack jawed.
"I…I…" he stutters for a moment. "You know I'm her best friend," Brett tries. I shake my head.
"But she obviously wishes you were more than that. I know it, your last girlfriend knew it, the girlfriend before her knew it, and every other girlfriend you've had knew it. But you see, the difference between me and them is that I realized the reality of the situation: I understood that if I gave you an ultimatum, I would lose."
Brett opens his mouth to retort, but I speak up before he can start talking.
"Because, whether you admit it or not, the fact of the matter is that Anna Lynn Darling is in love with you. And hell, you obviously have feelings for her, too."
Brett stares at me silently for a moment and I swallow down my nervous feelings.
"You," he starts, lowly. "Have no right, no right, to make that sort of call. To accuse me of such a-"
"You see," I interrupt, "I used to agree with you. But then you cheated on me with Anna Lynn, and when that happened, I earned the right," I snap back. Brett's mouth snaps close. "And so, I'm asking you to make a choice here, Brett. I love you and hope to God you choose me but…you do need to choose. Either you choose me and stop any and all relations with Anna Lynn, or you continue all relations with Anna Lynn and lose me," I inform him, pleasantly surprised by how firm and final my voice sounds.
Brett stares at me from underneath his long eyelashes, his eyes a green pool of indecisiveness. With a frustrated grunt, he looks away from me and reaches up to run both of his hands through his blond hair. He looks to the ceiling and shakes his head before he looks back at me.
"Giselle…please don't make me do this. Anna Lynn…you know I didn't have a lot of friends in high school and Anna Lynn has stuck by my side through thick and thin," he pleads, desperately.
My heart breaks and I immediately wipe at my eyes when I feel myself start to cry again. I sniff and take a deep breath as I close my eyes. One…two…three…four…five…
I open my eyes once more and look at Brett.
The distraught and miserable look on his face is almost enough to make me take back the ultimatum.
But then, I remember the reason he needs to make a decision and I find a bit of hard resolve.
"I'm sorry, Brett, but I'll…you need to choose. If you don't and I just let this go, it'll prove that I'm a huge fool."
"You're not a fool," he hisses, automatically. "Don't call yourself that."
"I'm not a fool because I'm finally wising up. You have a past with both me and Anna Lynn, but now you have to choose who you want a future with."
Brett stares at me for a moment before he vehemently begins to shake his head.
"No, no. I love you Giselle, but I won't do it. I won't choose. I can't choose. It's like she's the sun and you're the air and you're asking me to give one up. I can't choose. Not between you two," he tells me, his voice strong and steady.
Now it's my turn to shake my head.
"Then I can't stay with you."
I surprise Brett by carefully removing myself from the bed and jumping onto the ground. I smooth out my shorts and shirt as I take a deep breath and begin to walk from the room.
As I quietly walk out and start to move down the hallway of the large Greek House, I barely refrain from shaking.
I just ended things with Brett Connors. The nerdy blond boy who stole my heart with a smile four years ago and has kept a firm and protective grip on it ever since.
What was-
I yelp and feel my heart lurch in surprise as I feel a steady pressure on my arm turning me around.
Brett stares down at me, his blond hair a mess and his green eyes big and determined.
"Wait," he breathes…
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"I'm going home for Thanksgiving, but mom seems to think you're going home too…what gives? I thought you wanted to stay there for Thanksgiving and come home for Christmas, instead," Taylor comments over the phone.
"Well, Thanksgiving is Brett's favorite holiday and he wants to go home. I was going to argue, but then I found out that he had already bought us plane tickets so, yeah," I explain as I look up at the ceiling of Brett's room.
"Break is only four days long for you, right? It takes six hours to get here and you'll be jetlagged for the rest of the day. You'll get one day to eat and you'll probably have to leave on the third day so you have another day to recover from jetlag before classes start. Ask him what the hell he's thinking."
I giggle to myself and sit up in bed to look at Brett who's typing away at his computer while he sits as his desk.
"Brett," I call. He grunts in response. "Are you sure you want us to go home from Thanksgiving break?" I question. He grunts again and I frown at him. "Brett?"
He doesn't respond and I sigh.
"Let me call you back, Tay," I say into the phone.
"Okay. Bye, Elle!" I hang up and grab Brett's shirt from the side-table before I slip it on. I take another moment to collect myself before I step out of bed. The shirt's length slips down to my knees, but I see my skirt on the floor and step into it, anyway. I walk over to where Brett is typing at the computer and place my hands on his shoulders. My hands glide down his chest and I smile at feeling of his hard stomach against my hands before I lean foreword and start to kiss his neck.
He stiffens and pulls away, completely catching me by surprise.
"Giselle, you know I have to finish this paper," he snaps, causing me to raise an eyebrow.
"It's due in a week," I state, dully. Brett doesn't bother to respond and I place my hands on my hips, even though he can't see me.
"Alright, Brett. What the hell is going on? For the first time in three weeks, we finally sleep together and what happens as soon as we finish? You stand up, put on your pants, and start typing up your paper. What gives?" I demand.
"Giselle, I don't know if I'll have time to write it later. I have time now. Just…just get back in bed. I'll join you in a bit, alright?"
Throughout his tired explanation, he doesn't turn to look at me once. I huff, march back to the bed, sit up, pull the covers to my waist, cross my arms, and glare at my boyfriend.
My concentration is only broken when his cell phone vibrates on the side-table. Without really thinking about it, I reach over and flip it open.
"Hello?" I growl.
"...Giselle." My eyes widen at the sullen voice.
Anna Lynn Darling.
Oh my God, this is awkward.
"…Hi," I force out in a cheery voice after a moment of silence.
"Where's Brett?" She demands, her voice shaky. I instantly feel the guilt begin to build in my stomach.
"Working on his paper." At my reference to him, Brett looks up and he raises an eyebrow when he sees me on his phone as if to ask who I am talking to.
"Oh."
"Yeah."
I swallow as another silence takes over and my eyes wander around the room. Brett shrugs and goes back to his computer, probably convinced that I am talking to his parents or one of his friends.
"He always told me you were different," Anna Lynn finally speaks up, her voice resigned and wavering as I hear her sniffle every few seconds. "I never believed him. Not really. I always appreciated how you never made him choose between us, but I never really thought you were different. But then when you finally gave him an ultimatum, I realized that both he and I were right. I was right because you are an insecure, elitist snob who's threatened by my relationship with Brett. However, he was right too, because you are the only girl who has ever successfully convinced him to choose another female over me. It's been three weeks since he made his decision. I haven't seen him in three weeks, Giselle! For the first time, he's chosen someone else over me…he chose you over me. That makes you different from all the rest, and I don't think I'll ever forgive you for that."
I was feeling lower and guiltier with every word…
…up until her last sentence.
"Are you kidding me?" I state, lowly. "You'll never forgive me?" I continue and now Brett looks over at me again. "You almost slept with my boyfriend!" I yell and Brett's eyes widen in alarm as he stands from his desk and starts to walk towards me. "I tried really hard to get along with you. You're nice and sweet and a good person, Anna Lynn. If you weren't so obviously in love with my boyfriend then I have no doubt that I'd actually like you a lot more! We wouldn't necessarily be friends, but I would at least genuinely like you!" Brett reaches the bed and stands at the edge as he quietly asks me for the phone.
I ignore him and concentrate on Anna Lynn's response.
"I'm not in love with him!" She cries, defensively. However, the small sob that escapes her throat contradicts her words.
"Then why did you hook up with him? While you knew good and well that he was mine?" I asked, my voice reaching a high octave as I feel like I'm also going to cry. "And don't bother lying to me because I won't believe you. I won't tell Brett, either." I glance up at him and swallow at the dark look on his face as his anger grows. He doesn't make a move towards me though and instead just holds his hand out for his phone.
"…Have you ever met him, Giselle? He's the greatest person I've ever met. He's nice. He's smart. He's funny. He's everything I've ever wanted and it always kills me when I see him with you…you're materialistic, don't care about your academics as much as you do your cheering, and you take him for granted!"
"I do not take him for-"
"Yes you do! All of his ex-girlfriends have, and I've waited patiently for him to get rid of them, knowing that they were nothing serious. Until he met you. You, who didn't even know he existed until our junior year of high school!"
"Hey! I didn't know a lot of people existed!" I argue.
"Exactly! Because you only care about yourself!"
"Alright. Listen here, Darling," I start, threateningly. However, before I can finish whatever dark babble my mind cooks up, Brett lunges at me and I scream in shock before he snatches the phone from my grip. He snaps it shut and stares at me, his green eyes blazing and his face red.
"What the hell were you thinking?" He yells. However, instead of cowering back, my eyes flash as I push him away from me and jump out of bed.
"Have you been talking to her?" I yell back at him. He growls at me. "Well, have you?"
"I don't see why-"
"It's my business," I cut in, immediately knowing what he's going to say. "Because you promised me that you would stop seeing her! That you were done with her!"
"Exactly!" He snaps from his bed. "I said I wouldn't see her any more and I haven't!"
"But you've talked to her over the phone, haven't you?" I yell. He doesn't say anything, just glares at me. "Damn it, Brett!"
"She's having a hard time!" He argues. "After fourteen years, you can't ask me to just cut her out of my life!"
"You cheated on me with her!" I scream.
"And it was the worst mistake I've ever made, but two wrongs don't make a right!" He roars.
"Is this why you've been so distraught over the past few weeks?" I ask, my voice still raised. "Why you barely smile or laugh or spend time with me?"
"I spend plenty of time with you!"
"Yeah. Okay. We go to dinner and I talk while you space out. We have such a good time together," I state with a roll of my eyes. Brett rolls his eyes.
"That's what it's always like. You talk. I space out. You've always just been too self-absorbed to notice it, before."
I glare at him.
"I can't talk to you right now," I hiss, grabbing my jacket off Brett's roommate's bed and slipping into my flats.
"You don't want to change first?" Brett mumbles and I shake my head as I stomp to the door.
"It's not like everyone in this fraternity house doesn't know what we've been doing," I respond, my hand on the doorknob. "Good luck with that paper."
Brett doesn't come after me as I leave and my face burns as I walk through the house, ignoring the smirks and smiles coming from the boys who pass me.
My face flushes a little more as I ponder one question:
What's becoming of Brett and me?
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I don't see my boyfriend for nine days. He called me the day after I left him in his room, but I ignored his call.
He doesn’t call again.
I try calling him a few times but he never answers and neither of us bother going out of our way to find the other.
I think we both realize that we're nearing the end of something.
"I haven't seen Brett in a while," Deanna, one of my teammates observes. She is sitting in the passenger seat and I am driving her to the train station so she can go home for Thanksgiving break.
"He's been really busy," I mumble, concentrating on the road as the rain pounds against the car. It's supposed to rain for the next five days…there's even a hurricane watch.
"Do you know where he is right now?" she asks.
"Of course, he's in town," I lie without missing a beat. Just because Brett and I are falling apart at the seams doesn't mean that I want anyone to know about it.
"Is he busy?"
I shrug.
"Well, let's go see him! I have some time before I go and I want to wish him a happy holiday! You know I'm going abroad and won't see either of you until the spring term," she goes on.
"I know, but-"
"Come on, Giselle. Let's just loop through town and try to seek him out," she pleads.
For the first time I find myself wishing that our college town wasn't so tiny so I could make the argument that finding him would be near impossible.
Instead, I find myself nodding and turning left to start the drive through the main shops and restaurants in town. We pass all the buildings and I look for him on the left while Deanna looks for him on the right.
We drive for about ten minutes before Deanna sighs and admits defeat.
"I mean, I thought you said he was in town…" she grumbles.
I look at her out of the corner of my eye and make a decision.
"There's one place we haven't tried," I inform her before I take a right and drive until we a tiny side road. I start the drive down the side road and instantly feel my heart rate pick up.
Although it may make Deanna suspicious to how bad things between Brett and me are, I hope to God that he's not where I am driving. I would rather deal with Deanna's curious questions and pitiful looks than the heartbreak I would feel if I find Brett behind the town Library.
I swallow and take a silent, deep breath as I take that last turn.
And there he is.
Sitting against the bricks as he stares into nothing, a closed book sitting in his lap. His eyes are closed and his head is slightly tilted up towards the sky as the rain falls onto him. He's wearing his raincoat and I glance down at the steering wheel with a small sigh.
"Oh! There he is!" Deanna happily cheers.
Before she can ask me to turn into the back lot, I speed up and zoom past the library. Deanna looks at me in question.
"He doesn't like to be bothered when he's back there," I state before I reach foreword and turn on the radio, effectively ending the discussion before it can even start.
During our senior fall, Anna Lynn, Brett and I all flew out here to check out the university. I had a meeting with a cheer coach and some of the cheerleaders after our tour, so while I went to meet them, Anna Lynn and Brett left to explore the surrounding town.
Brett, being the secret nerd he is, wanted to check out the Library but found it closed for construction purposes. However, he convinced Anna Lynn to help him find the back windows so he would maybe be able to look in and see what kind of facility the library had.
To the left of the library, a river sat and that effectively blocked Brett and Anna Lynn from getting to the back through the left. The library was also on a long street where all the buildings were connected, so Anna Lynn and Brett spent two hours walking through shops and down the long road to find the back of the library. Finding the back of the library took a bit longer to find than they expected and they quickly learned that it was not a popular place to hang out due to the rubble and water draft that surrounded the area.
After hearing that, the pair stupidly decided it would be their special spot.
As I drive Deanna to the train station, I force myself to face the reality of the situation.
Brett chose me. But he shouldn't have. As much as I don't want to admit it, I've read enough romance stories to recognize a cliché when I see one and I cringe when I realize that, in the past, I've always cheered for the best friend.
After all, doesn't everyone? The best friend is the one who the reader always feels bad for and wants to prevail in the end…rarely does one ever really feel for the girlfriend. The girlfriend who wastes her time with a boy who will never really truly love her because he's already secretly in love with his best friend.
No one ever feels bad for the pretty girlfriend who ends up losing in the end because the best friend has been there all along and, therefore, deserves the boy. But is it really the girlfriend's fault that she doesn't know everyone in the world? Is it her fault for not knowing that she had to befriend a boy as a child in order to deserve his love as an adult?
No. It's not her fault, but none of that matters, does it?
All that matters is that the best friends are supposed to end up together and the girlfriend is just in the way, just a momentary distraction.
That's all I am. A distraction.
And so, after I finish the two-hour drive to the train station, I reach into my wallet for my plane ticket and nod.
With a heavy heart and thick coating in my throat, I realize that is about the time in the story where the girlfriend makes her exit.