Pairing(s): Prinxiety, and implied Logicality
Warnings: Strong language, suggestive teasing/conversation, threats of breakup, mention of violence, panic attack, and accusations of infidelity
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Virgil had been dreading this day for a while. The day where it would all become too much, where is would all break apart. Crumble. He wanted to pretend that everything was okay. To pretend that the fact that people constantly flirted with his boyfriend, and the fact that he flirted back didn't bother him. But it did.
He knew that Roman wouldn't understand how he felt. After all, he had never dealt with the same situation or problems before, so Virgil didn't really expect him to completely get it.
His boyfriend performed at a local theatre, and despite being overjoyed that he had something he was passionate about, Virgil couldn't push away the bubbling nervousness and growing irritation in his stomach as they entered the average sized building. Due to a major flu outbreak leaving almost all other participants bedridden, Roman had begged Virgil to sing a duet with him for practice since he had quite the amazing voice.
'Obviously', he thought, 'it's definitely nothing compared to Roman's.'
When they reached the double doors leading to the main hall where the theatre... he couldn't really call them kids... the theatre enthusiasts practiced their performances, he swallowed the nerves bundling up in his throat and felt Roman take ahold of his hand reassuringly, squeezing it once before the headed inside. Oh boy...
There were around thirty rows of red seats positioned in front of the stage. They had clearly been taken care of well, as there wasn't even a smudge of dirt or rust on a single one of them. Above him hung a bright and glittering row of lights, three to the right of the ceiling, three in the middle, and three at the far left; he later spotted a ridiculous amount of light switches backstage that controlled them all individually, and one main switch by the door that controlled them all. All of this, yet he only had eyes for the stage.
It was a monster of a thing! Taking up so much space, Virgil wondered who the architect that designed this building was. The dark shiny panels reflected the lights from above and nearly blinded him as he scanned it, looking at the glimpses of backstage for a place to hide if he got too anxious. How could anyone gain enough confidence to perform on such a large stage?!
"Ah! This must be Virgil." A middle aged man stood up from where he was sitting on a chair, and strode over to them, holding his hand out for Virgil to shake. "I'm Mr Rhodes, but you can just call me Jerry. Everyone here does."
He let out a little chuckle after his introduction and grinned at the firm grip Virgil had on his hand as he shook it, offering a small polite smile. "Uh- Yeah. Good to meet you, I'm Virgil."
Jerry gave him another toothy grin and gestured towards Roman, who was standing just behind him. He reached out and wrapped an arm around his shoulders, pulling his close- too close, to his side. Possibly the worst part for Virgil was how Roman was giving Jerry that flirtatious smile he gave every single person that so much as looked at him enticingly on the street! The smile that had begun to drive Virgil crazy. "My darling Roman has brought us yet another talented man into my life. And I'm sure you know just how talented he is, hm? Oh, how I wish I knew that too!"
Virgil was going to slice that arm right off his fucking torso.
With a lighthearted chuckle, Roman sent him a wink and placed a hand on his hip, an infuriatingly seductive gleam in his eyes as he glanced over at the man. "Maybe if Virgil gives me permission..."
He didn't finish that sentence, but he didn't really have to. Virgil was done. Sending them both a strained smile, he headed backstage to prepare for his part of the duet. Of course, he already knew the song due to Roman's obsession with musical theatre, but he decided to read over his lines one more time. And maybe he'd listen to the song through his earphones a couple of times before they started.
Laughing echoed through the hall, causing his hand to grip his 'script', if it could even be called that, tighter. His knuckles faded into a pale ghostly white and his fingers shook with anger, probably jealousy too, but that was a type of anger, right?
Who the fuck cared if Roman was seducing his theatre teacher? Who the fuck cared? Not Virgil. Nope. Not anymore.
After a couple of minutes, Roman's footsteps sounded behind him until he felt warm arms worm around his waist tightly, pulling him so that his back was resting against Roman's chest. So warm. But Virgil didn't care anymore. He stood there limp for a few seconds until Roman hummed quietly in confusion and leaned forward so that he could see his boyfriend's face. "Is something wrong, darling?"
My darling Roman...
Expression hardening and growing cold, Virgil huffed out a breath and shrugged loosely, casually turning the page of his 'script'... thing. A few seconds passed before a smirk gradually stretched across Roman's lips, a smirk that usually melted Virgil into a puddle of admiration and sappy goop, but now only succeeded in boiling his blood with annoyance. "You're jealous."
There was a short pause before Virgil pursed his lips bitterly, "Just read your fucking lines." He then shoved his boyfriend's script-thing at him, pushing it into his stomach rather roughly and storming over to a chair positioned a few feet away from where they were standing.
Roman's eyes were wide with shock and lit up with both anger and hurt. "Okay. Where is this attitude coming from, exactly?"
Sitting down in the chair, Virgil glared resolutely down at his papers and shifted them in his hands uncomfortably as he watched his boyfriend place a hand on his hip out of the corner of his eyes. Under his breath, almost inaudible to Roman's ears, Virgil then muttered, "If you stopped flirting with everything that moved, maybe you'd know."
Mistake.
"Excuse me?" Roman questioned, fury slowly seeping into his tone and pushing his legs forward so that he was towering over the silently steaming man in front of him. "What is that supposed to mean? Are you... What are you trying to accuse me of, here?"
"Oh, you mean you don't know? You just didn't know you were flirting with all of those people?" Virgil asked sarcastically, sparing his boyfriend a glacial glance before looked back down at his lines. "My apologies. I guess I'll just make a fucking sign to let you know when you're being a flirtatious, borderline-cheating, asshole in future."
On the up-side, at least he was getting all of these pent up feelings out in the open. Even if it was in a rather unhealthy and less than efficient way.
Rolling his tongue angrily, Roman crossed his arms over his chest and threw his papers at the wall, letting them crinkle and fall to the floor in a somewhat graceful glide. "What?! Are you seriously accusing me of cheating? You know I would never do that to you, or to anyone! I love you, Virgil. Nobody else. It's all harmless fun if I happen to be 'flirting' with someone else."
Virgil couldn't stand how he was being so dismissive towards how he felt about Roman's constant carelessly flirtatious behaviour towards other people. Couldn't he at least pretend to care about how he felt? He was an aspiring actor, after all.
"If it's so 'fun'," he mumbled, slowly rising to his feet as he heard Jerry call the two out to the stage and looking Roman directly in the eyes, "then why aren't I entertained?"
With that, he all but slammed the 'script' down on the small mahogany table in front of him and marched onto the stage, adrenaline blinding him from the usual anxiety he'd be feeling at being on stage. Roman soon followed, heavy steps indicating his growing anger towards his boyfriend. Jerry seemed oblivious to the tension between them, and simply started the music, blasting it through the speakers and smiling confidently up at them both.
Roman inhaled deeply before bringing the microphone stand close to him and holding it to his mouth. "Every single day, I walk down the street I hear people say 'baby', so sweet. Ever since puberty, everybody stares at me.
Boys, girls I can't help it, baby."
He had taken a few steps towards Virgil, and was looking him right in the eye as he sang his lyrics, making Virgil hate the irony of the situation and how much the two of them related to the song they were performing. "So, be kind and don't lose your mind. Just remember that I'm your baby."
On the last word of his line, Roman took ahold of Virgil's hand and pulled him closer, gripping it tighter as he sang his next lines. "Take me for what I am. Who I was meant to be. And if you give a damn, take me baby, or leave me."
Perhaps harsher than he intended, Virgil snatched his hand back and strode around his boyfriend to the other side of the stage, being sure to stay as close to the middle as he could stand. Roman frowned and turned slowly towards him, neither noticing the nervous expression beginning to pain over Jerry's gleeful expression. "Take me, or leave me..."
Swiftly, Roman pulled a chair over from the back of the stage- a rather dangerous place for the chair, which was concerning, and stood on it to sing his next lyrics. Virgil rolled his eyes and huffed out an exasperated sigh, folding his arms across his chest moodily as he watched his boyfriend out of the corner of his eye. "A tiger in a cage can never see the sun. This diva needs his stage baby. Lets have fun!"
At this point, he jumped off of the chair and strode over to Virgil, making sure to lean as close to his face as he could, subtly reaching out to grasp his hand gently, "You are the one I choose. Folks will kill to fill your shoes."
Virgil, once again, rolled his eyes and took a few steps backward, glaring heatedly up at his boyfriend as he continued to sing. Did he really think those lyrics would help in any way? No, he couldn't help singing them, but to get so close and attempt to show him such affection, as if everything would be just peachy if he held Virgil's hand?! Just damn disrespectful.
"You love the lime light to now baby. So be mine but don't waste my time. Cryin' honey bear are you still my, my-"
Virgil frowned deeper as he spoke his first words of the song. "Don't you dare."
"-my baby?'"
Opening his arms wide, Roman seemed to gesture to the entire room as he sung about 'himself', a slightly mocking smile playing with his lips. He leaned back against the wall at the right side of the stage, still looking Virgil in the eyes as he sung. "Take me for what i am. Who i was meant to be. And if you give a damn, take me baby or leave me."
His hazelnut gaze became a little more infuriated as he continued the song. "No way, can i be what i'm not. But hey, don't you want your man hot?" Arms still open, he took a few measured strides forward and slid his hands down his sides until they rested on his hips. "Don't fight, don't lose your head. 'Cause every night who's in your bed? Who? Who's in your bed?"
Virgil stared angrily as Roman took a few more steps forward, taking his hand and arching an eyebrow, holding the hand to his face and brushing his lips against the back of his knuckles. "Kiss, pookie."
How much of an asshole did Roman plan to be that day, exactly?
Ripping his hand out of his boyfriend's grip, Virgil pushed him back lightly to put space between them and began to sing his own lines with surprising confidence and feeling, considering how terrified he was that morning. "It won't work. I look before I leap. I love margins and discipline. I make lists in my sleep, baby, whats my sin? Never quit. I follow through."
He hesitantly reached out, "I hate mess but i love you."
But promptly retracted his hand and strapped to his side, continuing his first verse of the song. "What do with my improptu baby? So be wise 'cause this man satisfies. You got a prize so don't compromise. You're one lucky baby."
Stepping around his boyfriend slowly, Virgil watched him glare heatedly at him as he threw out his arms to his sides, singing the chorus with a voice so powerful, he didn't even recognise himself. "Take me for what I am."
"A control freak."
Somehow, not even the bitterness and sincerity in his boyfriend's words could stop the adrenaline pumping around his body. "Who I was meant to be."
Roman brushed a hand through his hair almost haughtily as he sung. "A snob, yet overattentive."
"And if you give a damn," Virgil poked Roman in the chest roughly to emphasise the word 'damn' and frowned as he sung his next line.
"A loveable droll geek."
"Take me baby, or leave me." It was turning into a challenge. Who would stop putting truth into the lyrics first? And who would give in? Virgil knew it would be him, but he was going to hold on for as long as he could. He wouldn't let Roman win so easily.
Both men circled each other once before completing their harmonies, and making every expectation of Jerry's perfect duet come true. "That's it!"
Virgil gripped his microphone tighter. "The straw that breaks my back."
"I quit!"
"Unless you take it back." Virgil made sure to keep his gaze locked with Roman's as he sung these lyrics. To him, they weren't just lyrics anymore. They were a threat. If Roman continued to make him feel insecure, like he wasn't enough, and so fucking weak, then it was over. They were over.
Unfortunately, Roman didn't seem to understand Virgil's silent meaning and merely continued to sing as if they were in the middle of a silly argument. "Ugh, men!"
Roman's voice was smooth and strong as he sung, placing a hand on his hip and glaring over at his boyfriend. "What is it about them?"
"Can't live with them, or without them!"
Abruptly, Virgil let out an almost silent gasp as he realised how close they suddenly were, chests nearly pressed together and arms holding their microphones almost linked. He pushed on, singing along with Roman even as his throat closed up at the thought that it really could be over between them. "Take me for what I am!"
Virgil placed a hand on his hip. "Who I was meant to be."
Roman began singing his line halfway through Virgil's, a flush to his cheeks from the heat of the lights shining down on them from the many installed on the ceiling. "Who I was meant to be. And if you give a damn-"
"And if you give a damn then, take me baby, or leave me." Refusing to let his voice tremble along with his hands, Virgil took a step forward so that their chests were pressed together, even if only lightly, and met Roman's gaze.
Leaning closer, Roman used his free arm to hold Virgil close, banding it around his waist and pulling him as close as he possibly could. He smirked smugly at the sprinkle of red that appeared on his cheeks, and the irritated gleam in his eyes of melted chocolate and honey, and then continued to sing. "Take me, baby! Take me, or leave me!"
The two were moving closer, silently challenging the other, whilst Roman also wanted to get a bit of flirting in. Even if Virgil was angry with him, and he was angry with Virgil, there was no denying how much he cared for him, and loved to see the flustered redness in his face. "Take me baby...! Or leave me..."
A heavy weight crushing his chest, Virgil calmly took a few steps backwards until he closer to the left side of the stage than the middle. Roman's eyes glittered with confusion, but both spoke the ending lines. Only then did Roman understand what was happening, getting the hint from the glossiness of his boyfriend's eyes. "Guess I'm leaving!"
A pause. "I'm gone!"
Then, the music was gone. And there was only silence. Both me stood on the stage, panting quietly at the passion in their duet, but also at the anger still bubbling inside of them. Virgil's adrenaline seemed to pool beneath him in a puddle of confidence, and he looked around. Fuck.
Skin getting warm- too hot! Every breath burned. Lungs felt like plastic. Eyes dampened with what-if's. Lips dried up and leaving a taste of bitter words and fears in his mouth. Hands shook with the echoing cruel voices of those who weren't there. Knees buckling, growing weak, moving on their own, possessed by the need to find an answer to the blank questions running around in his mind.
"Virgil!"
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For some reason, Roman had followed him out into the hallway where he had fallen lump against the wall and collapsed to the floor, feeling the harsh cold marble through his jeans. His hands were covering his face, his wet eyes, black smudges running like rivers underneath them. Lips still try as he tried to wet them again with his tongue. Nothing working. Nothing working!
Hands quickly gripped his tightly, pulling them to a hard, warm chest. He unconsciously clung to the warmth, listening out for a voice, desperate to hear anything except the sound of his own shallow breathing. "Virgil, tell me five things you can see."
Calm voice. Smooth voice. Roman.
Virgil gulped down the lump in his throat and choked on a sob as he tried to answer, pressing his face into his knees, feeling the bruising feeling on his nose as the tough bone pushed against the weaker bone in his nose. His hands were shifted so both were being held within one, and the free hand slid up his jaw and gently lifted his chin so that he could meet Roman's glowing and fearful gaze. "Name five things you can see. And remember your breathing technique, you can do it. I know you can, baby."
'1... 2... 3... 4...' Virgil let out the breath too early, but opened his mouth to speak. "Uh... You."
The soft smile that adorned Roman's features eased the aching pain in his chest a bit, probably the guilt, and made him remember to do his breathing technique. "The... The floor. And the lights, you know, on the ceiling."
Roman nodded gently and encouraged him to continue. That was three things, just two more. "Uh- My jacket. And..." he faltered, "And you."
Furrowing his eyebrows in confusion, Roman tried to keep the calm smile on his face, but he couldn't stop the tiny frown from ruining it and screaming a thousand worried questions to his boyfriend. "You've already said me."
Virgil lowered his gaze to the floor, trying to will away the tears that threatened to spill over. His fingers twitched in Roman's hold, and he sniffled, feeling his face warm up in embarrassment, as it always did whenever somebody saw him during a panic attack. "Sometimes, it feels like there are two of you."
Although anxious and bewildered, Roman decided to continue with the technique, already noticing a positive change in his breathing. "Four things you can hear."
"You, footsteps...?" Virgil paused, momentarily confused at the far-off footsteps from down the hall. "Uh- The plumbing from the toilet flushing, ew. And... And more voices?"
Before he could get the chance to say anything more about the strange sounds, Roman moved on to the next part of his technique, asking him three things he could feel and then two things he could smell. Both answers involved Roman somehow, whether it was the heat from his hands, or the scent of his fabric softener, he was there. "Now, one thing you can taste."
His mouth was dry. He couldn't taste anything! How was he going to get through this technique if he couldn't taste anything?! Pulse accelerating. Lungs squeezing. Skin burning- too hot!
Luckily, Roman seemed to notice his increasing panic at not being able to complete the technique, and leaned forward to press a sweet fleeting kiss to his lips. He was supposed to be angry, but he couldn't let Virgil fall back into the depths of his panic attack. And besides, the adorably dazed expression on his face was worth it. He smiled softly and whispered, "One thing you can taste, Virgil."
A gentle exhale and then, "You."
Roman's smile widened a centimetre before he brushed the pad of his thumb against his boyfriend's cheekbone and sighed sadly, not liking how the day had progressed so far. He saw Virgil give a small twitch of his lips before his face fell back into one full of guilt and pain. "Baby, what did you mean before? Two of me?"
"I feel..." Virgil was hesitant to continue, but felt encouraged by the gentleness of Roman's gaze. "I feel like I get one Roman at home, whilst the world gets to see a different Roman as soon as we step out the door. You may not see it, but you... you act as if we aren't together sometimes. Like, you can just flirt with whoever you want to, and it'll all be okay because it's not like I exist or anything-"
He stopped himself before bitterness could control his voice yet again. His hollow gaze met Roman's, and he swallowed the lump in his throat. "I'm not enough for you, am I?"
Immediately, Roman leaned forward slightly and shook his head, desperately trying to tell him that he was wrong. He was enough. More than enough, in fact! But Virgil just smiled sadly and sniffed as tears threatened to prick at the corners of his eyes again. "Maybe I was, once. But... not now. Not anymore."
Roman held his hands to his lips and kissed them firmly, before letting his head droop forwards. His forehead rested on the back of Virgil's fingers, and he felt his eyes dampen as he realised what Virgil was suggesting. "Please... Don't think like that. You mean so much more to me than you think you do, Virgil. You're my entire world."
Before Virgil had the chance to protest, Roman looked back up at him. "Do you want to know why I flirt so much? It's because I didn't think you cared. And I thought that because you didn't care, it was all just harmless fun, and I could do it if I knew it wouldn't come to mean anything. I wish you had told me about your feelings sooner, darling, I would have stopped immediately. Or, I would have at least calmed your fears. I'm so sorry. And I love you. So, so much."
Virgil's bottom lip quivered as he processed everything his boyfriend had admitted to him. He shifted so that his hands slid up to cup Roman's face, he swallowed and shrugged helplessly. "I'm... I'm sorry. This is my fault. God, I'm such a fucking moron, I'm so sorry."
"No, you're not!" Roman insisted, pulling himself closer to the guilt-ridden man and placing his hands on his waist, smiling tearfully as he felt Virgil tuck a few stray strands of hair behind his ear. "We both simply bottled up our feelings, which resulted in a somewhat dramatic, but totally badass duet today."
Giggling at his boyfriend's statement, Virgil sniffed and dabbed at his eyes with the sleeve of his hoodie. "The duet was going to happen anyway, dork... What?"
He raised an eyebrow after noticing that Roman's gaze never seemed to shift or move away from him, and the loving smile on his lips left a deep warmth spreading through Virgil's chest. A hand cupped a cheek as he shuffled closer, Virgil's hands clutching the front of his crimson button-up shirt. Roman's free hand squeezed his hip, and despite the heartfelt moment, Virgil was tempted to slap the tiny smirk off of his face as he flushed ruby. "I just... I just love you so fucking much, Virgil."
And before he knew it, Roman had leaned forward, capturing his lips in a fierce kiss that left him breathless and clinging to his boyfriend as closely as he could. One of Roman's hands had shifted to cup the back of his neck, drawing him in even closer, and basking him in even more cosy warmth.
When they separated, Roman made sure to pepper small kisses to his lips and cheek before holding him close and gently tangling his fingers in his hair. Virgil couldn't suppress the content smile that slowly grew on his face. "I love you too... but what were those noises before?"
Roman snorted and pulled away, smiling and winking at him cheekily. A smile just for him. "It may or may not have been Patton and Logan. I texted them about our... situation, and they were already together-"
"No surprises there."
Another chortle escaped Roman's lips before he rolled his eyes fondly and nodded. "Agreed. Anyway, they insisted on coming over to help us out. I'm guessing that they saw us having our discussion and left us alone. I'll message them now and ask. Then, we can have a double date... of sorts."
Virgil smirked and twisted some of Roman's caramel hair in his fingers as he spoke, amusement clear in his tone. "Oh? Playing matchmaker today, are we?"
"Yes, we are."
"Oh God."
As Roman's laugh bounced off the walls of the hallway, Virgil took in every last detail of his face. Every tiny chocolate freckle. Every faded acne scar from when they were teenagers. Every long dark lash on his lids. And every single speck of gold in his eyes. Treasure only he could discover.
Over and over again.
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Hello! This isn't a request, but I listened to 'Take Me Baby Or Leave Me' from RENT, and I fell in love with it. I haven't seen the actual musical, but I need to (even though I know what happens)! Also, I know that this is DEFINITELY more of a Logince song, and I was going to write a Logince oneshot for this, but I had the idea with singing and stuff so I used Prinxiety instead since Logan CAN sing, (obviously because Thomas can) but he doesn't like to.
Well, it's 4AM and I need to be up at 8AM, so I'm going to go sleep. I hope you enjoyed this!
Love y'all! Stay cute!