CHAPTER ONE:
MALFOY AND NOTT:
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"He's not here."
Nova felt a small smile crack at the corners of her lips when she walked into her usual compartment the next morning. Even if Theo wasn't there, like she had been expecting, Blaise Zabini was, and he was just as friendly a face to see. Though she wondered where her brother was and she was anxious about seeing him after their longest time spent apart ever, she was happy to see the boy sitting in the compartment by himself. "Well," she said slowly, drawing out her words as she plopped down in the chair across from him. "I suppose you'll do."
Blaise scoffed and rolled his eyes at her. "He went to go get us some treats from the trolley. Parkinson and Bulstrode are keeping their distance because Malfoy finally got the guts to break up with her and she's devastated. Pretty sure Daphne's with them." Even Blaise couldn't help the victorious smile that landed on his face after that particular statement. Though he'd expressed to Nova that he felt bad for Greengrass, he also expressed that he'd been waiting for the better part of his entire Hogwarts career in love with Theo. "Crabbe and Goyle are off doing Merlin knows what and Malfoy is at the prefects' carriage, harassing Granger and Weasley, no doubt." It didn't take long for Blaise's face to morph into the pitying look she'd been getting from Weasley's brothers over the summer. "Merlin, I forgot, I'm sorry."
"What have you got to be sorry about?" Nova asked, shrugging. The quick, stinging zap in her chest was usual. Something she'd gotten used to a while ago. "I'm fine. I wallowed for a day and that was all I allowed myself. The Slytherin Ice Queen is back." When Blaise pouted playfully, she sighed. "With a few exceptions, of course. Things won't go back to before regarding the two of us. You're too useful to keep around."
"Also, I did technically find you a place to live over the summer." And Nova would never be able to thank him enough for that. But she knew that even if she tried to thank him, Blaise wouldn't accept it. So she simply gave him a small smile and crossed her arms over her chest wryly, her way of expressing that she planned to get him something as a thank you gift later. "How was working with Fred and George? I don't think I could ever work in a place like that."
"Don't make fun of Weasley's Wizard Wheezes," she defended.
Blaise held up his hands in defense. "I'm just saying I'm not a joking person. Nothing against Fred and George, but pranks aren't really my thing."
Nova shrugged. She hadn't exactly been a joking person either when she started at Weasley's Wizard Wheezes, but she'd gotten used to the random pranks and weird experiments the twins made her try. They'd even gotten her to try her hand in the charming of potions. She was the reason their love potion was so successful, something George made sure to praise her for everyday. "You get used to them," Nova replied, shrugging her shoulders and leaning back in her seat. Her entire body felt like it was dipped in energy, running through her veins and exploding out of her fingertips and toes. She knew Theo was near. She was going to see her brother for the first time in nearly three months. She stood from her seat, anxiously watching the door. Blais was saying something but she tuned him out the second the compartment door opened and Theo walked through.
He looked different, somehow. It had only been a few months since she'd seen him, but he looked ragged and worn like he'd been through so much it had altered him inside and out. But when he looked up and caught her eye and sent her a soft smile, it was the same expression of the boy she'd grown up with. And then she was suddenly moving so quickly that if someone had blinked, they'd have missed it. Theo's arms were already ready for her body when she crashed into him, wrapping her arms around his neck in a hug. He held her tightly, gripping her skin like he was terrified she'd disappear if he let go. A million words flew into her head, but none of them would ever be enough. A simple "I missed you" wouldn't even begin to cover how Nova had felt over the summer, the first one spent away from him. So, instead, she settled for nothing but his name, clinging obnoxiously to him but not caring.
The embrace was broken by Blaise, who cleared his throat. "Might want to come inside, guys. The rest of the Slytherins aren't too pleased with Nova and I'm worried they'll tell your father."
Those words were enough to break Nova away from her brother, but she didn't travel far from him at all. After months of being away, she didn't want to leave his side. "Did Father tell you anything when you left for school?" she questioned.
"He doesn't want me talking to you. Said he'd find out if I did." Theo shrugged, seemingly unbothered by the threat. "I don't care, Nova. I missed you too much to care."
But Nova, always the protective twin, shook her head. "Don't say you don't care. I don't want you getting hurt." Theo opened his mouth to argue, but she shook her head again. "Let's not talk about that right now. We'll figure it out, we always do. Tell me about your summer. Both of you," she added, gesturing back and forth between her brother and Blaise. The twins returned to their seats, and it made Nova smile softly when Theo immediately twined his fingers through Blaise's.
"Summer was fine," Theo said. "It was hard not having you around but..." Theo trailed off and Nova was delighted to see his cheeks twinge pink. "I hung out with Blaise more often than not." Blaise smiled at Theo's embarrassment and squeezed his hand. "Malfoy sometimes, too. He, er, found out about Blaise and me. He was alright with it. I could tell it took him a little while to get used to seeing us together, but not in a bad way."
Nova hadn't told him about Malfoy's discovery at the end of the previous year, and the way he'd confided in her on the train ride back. She knew Malfoy was okay with Blaise and Theo being together. "Even if he wasn't alright with it, his opinion doesn't matter. If you're happy, he should be happy for you. And you look very happy, Theo," Nova mentioned with a smile.
"And you?" He asked softly, watching as she bristled in her seat. "I heard about... you know. Were his brothers treating you okay?"
Nova appreciated the effort Theo was making. She could tell by the grimace that he wasn't too keen on discussing Fred and George Weasley, but he was trying to her. And that meant more than anything in the world. "They treated me wonderfully. I was safe and happy this summer, Theo." She didn't mention the prank toys they had shoved in her suitcase, figuring Theo wouldn't react well. She opened her mouth to say something else when Malfoy suddenly entered the compartment, Prefect badge shown in all its glory. He nodded towards Blaise and Theo before flopping himself down ungracefully next to Nova.
Things were tense, to say the least. Nova knew that underneath Draco's sleeve was the Dark Mark, but Draco didn't know that Nova knew about the newest addition to his skin. Luckily, Nova didn't have to say much because the compartment door was opening once again and a young second year Slytherin was standing there with a scroll in her hands. "I'm supposed to deliver this to Blaise Zabini," she said in a standoffish tone, trying too hard to conform to the stereotype of being a Slytherin. Nova had to give the girl credit where credit was due. She didn't waver under the harsh glare Malfoy sent her way as she handed the scroll to Blaise and left the compartment after Malfoy made a scoffing noise that would have scared anyone off.
"What is it?" Theo asked, watching Blaise rip off the ribbon tying the scroll together.
Mr. Zabini,
I would be delighted if you would join me for a bite of lunch in Compartment C.
Sincerely,
Professor H. E. F. Slughorn
"Slughorn? Must be the new DADA Professor," Blaise said before releasing Theo's hand and standing from his seat. "I don't know what he'd want with me, but I'd better go see what this is about." Nova shrugged, having less of a clue than Blaise did on why the new DADA Professor wanted to see him. She watched Blaise leave the compartment and leaned back in her seat, the silence turning awkward now that it was just her brother and Malfoy with her. Her eyes involuntarily flickered to Theo's left hand, where she knew the Dark Mark was covered by his shirt, and then flitted her eyes to Draco's left hand.
"How was your summer, Malfoy?" Theo asked, not noticing Nova's line of sight. Malfoy scoffed again, a seemingly new habit of his, but there was something underneath that made Nova want to look closer at her ex-boyfriend. Was that... a small glimpse of fear in his eyes? She wasn't sure Draco Malfoy was afraid of anything. Sure, he was cowardly sometimes, especially when it came to Potter, but he'd never been frightened of the Boy Who Lived. This was a different kind of fear she saw. This was terror. Her heart clenched in her chest, wishing that the boy who had held her so forgivingly when Weasley had broken her heart didn't have to feel the same terror she had tried to protect Theo from.
"Boring." His answer was short and to the point, so unlike Malfoy's usual ramblings that it made Nova sit up straighter in her seat. Theo sent her a warning glance, a warning that she wasn't supposed to know Malfoy was an official Death Eater and should react as such. Nova deflated in her seat again and Malfoy turned his head to look at her, his eyes softening a little underneath her blank stare. "It was fine. Don't worry about me, Nova."
"I'm not worried," she said icily, the tone she had always used with him, but he didn't react like she was angry. He just sent her a small smile and shrugged his shoulders. It was such a Malfoy thing to do that Nova sent him a nearly imperceptible smile back.
"Sure you are," Malfoy responded arrogantly. Nova rolled her eyes.
The compartment door opened once more and Crabbe and Goyle entered, flopping onto their seats with Blaise trailing not far behind them. Blaise tried to close the compartment door only to have it stop, mid-close, and refuse to shut any further. He tried to close the door once more, but it suddenly shot open and sent Blaise tumbling into Nova's lap, his foot accidentally kicking Goyle in the stomach as he fell. Nova let out an annoyed "oof" sound as Blaise's body weight crashed into her, but it was nothing compared to the little howl Goyle let out before sending Blaise a death glare. "Sod off, Goyle, it wasn't his fault," Nova snapped, pushing Blaise's body off of her and coughing to hide her laugh when he went tumbling onto the floor. She simply shrugged her shoulders when Blaise stared up at her in betrayal, sending him a quick smile before she outstretched her arm to help hoist him up. He returned back to his seat next to Theo, but didn't reach out to take Theo's hand since Goyle and Crabbe were in the room.
"Parkinson not joining us today?" Crabbe asked.
"No," Malfoy deadpanned. "Zabini, what did Slughorn want?"
Blaise, still recovering from his fall, glared at Malfoy. "Well first off, he's the new Potions teacher. I think Snape might be taking the DADA position this term." The news seemed to bright Malfoy's spirits slightly, as Snape was his favorite professor. "And he was just trying to make up to well-connected people. Not that he was able to find many."
"Who else has he invited?" Malfoy demanded angrily.
"McLaggen from Gryffindor, someone else called Belby from Ravenclaw, and Longbottom, Potter, and that Weasley girl." Nova's heart stuttered a little at the surname, but it brought a scowl to her face. She didn't have any problems with Ginny (or any of the other Weasley family members), but thought her brother was an absolute prat. No, she thought to herself. I'm not even going to waste my thoughts on him. So she raised her chin in a defiant manner and ignored the looks her brother, Blaise, and even Malfoy were sending her.
"He invited Longbottom?" Malfoy looked scandalized. Nova kept her lips sealed tightly shut, trying to push down the urge to tell Malfoy to shut up. She was playing the part of the perfect little Slytherin, her only obligation keeping Theo and now Malfoy safe.
"Well, I assumed so, as Longbottom was there," Blaise replied with an eye roll.
"What's Longbottom got to interest Slughorn?" The question left Malfoy in the direction of Blaise, but his eyes trailed to Nova, as if expecting her to answer the question. He remembered the people she was associated with, the day he had officially found out in Umbridge's office. Blaise shrugged at the question, leaning against the side of the train and looking quite disinterested, like he'd rather be taking a nap than listening to Malfoy's chatter.
"Potter, precious Potter, obviously he wanted a look at 'the Chosen One,'" Malfoy snapped, "but that Weasley girl! What's so special about her?" Nova remembered what was so special about Ginny, and the way Malfoy flinched made Nova sure he remembered as well. The effortless Bat-Bogey Hex she'd managed to hit Malfoy with the previous term had impressed even some of the Slytherins in the room. They'd never admit that a "blood traitor" had impressed them, but Nova had seen the looks on their faces when the spell had been executed. "Well, I pity Slughorn's taste. Maybe he's going a bit senile. Shame, my father always said he was a good wizard in his day. My father used to be a bit of a favorite of his. Slughorn probably hasn't heard I'm on the train or -"
"I wouldn't bank on an invitation," Blaize said sullenly. Without looking at Theo, he continued on. "He asked me about Theo's father when I first arrived. Apparently they used to be old friends, but when he'd heard about what happened at the Ministry, he... didn't look happy." Nova clenched her hands in her lap silently. "And... well, Nova and Theo didn't get an invitation. I don't think Slughorn's interested in..."
"Death Eaters," Nova supplied in a stone cold voice. Blaise winced, but nodded.
Malfoy scoffed again. "Well, who cares what he's interested in? What is he, when you come down to it? Just some stupid teacher. I mean, I might not even be at Hogwarts next year, what's it matter to me if some fat old has-been likes me or not?" This statement was news to Nova, who sat up in her seat and sent Malfoy a questioning look.
"You aren't going to be at Hogwarts next year?" she asked quietly.
"Well, you never know. I might have - er- moved on to bigger and better things." Malfoy smirked at the companions in the compartment, and made Nova's heart go cold. She knew he was just seeking attention, like Malfoy always had. But the way he was able to speak about it, so nonchalantly, had Nova's heart breaking in her chest. What was left of it, anyway. These days, there didn't seem to be much. "Mother wants me to complete my education, but personally, I don't see it as that important these days. I mean, think about it... when the Dark Lord takes over, is he going to care how many O.W.L.s or N.E.W.T.s anyone's got? Of course he isn't... it'll be all about the kind of service he received, the level of devotion he was shown."
"And you think you'll be able to do something for him?" Blaise asked, rising to Nova's defense when he saw the shattered look on her face. "Sixteen years old and not even fully qualified yet?"
"I've just said, haven't ? Maybe he doesn't care if I'm qualified. Maybe the job he wants me to do isn't something that you need to be qualified for." It was silent underneath his words for a few moments before Malfoy looked out the window. "I can see Hogwarts. We's better get our robes on."
Nova put on her robes when the boys stepped out to give her some privacy, frowning all the while when she was left alone with her thoughts. "Malfoy," she muttered under her breath, an angry scream threatening to crack through. "What in Merlin's name are you thinking?"
Blaise was the first one back in the compartment, and he immediately grabbed Nova's shoulders. "Don't listen to him, Nova. It's just all talk, you know it is."
"I can't go through this again," she said, angry at Malfoy and Weasley and herself and the situation they'd all been thrown into. "I know Malfoy and I aren't as close as we used to be and I'm to blame for that, but he was there for me, Blaise." Her lower lip trembled and she frustratingly bit it to keep it steady. "He was there for me when Weasley broke my heart and he was there for me when my father was taken to Azkaban and I had to spend a summer without Theo and he doesn't deserve to be dragged into this mess." Nova ran her fingers through her hair. "He's not evil, not really. Not at his core. I know, I know, he'll regret this decision when he's older and I... I can't do anything to stop him. That kills me."
"He isn't your responsibility Nova. He's sixteen years old, he's a big boy."
"He's sixteen years old, Blaise," she whispered. "He's still a kid. He doesn't know what he's getting himself into, not really."
"Look, I agree with you, okay? One hundred percent. But this is his choice. It was different with Theo, you guys are twins. You have no control over what Malfoy does. He won't listen to you, deep down you know that." She did know it. If Malfoy was determined to prove his worth to the Dark Lord, he'd prove his worth. She simply nodded at Blaise's statements, knowing he was right but hating it. The rest of their little group piled back into the compartment for the rest of the train ride. I was spent in mostly silence, only filled by Crabbe and Goyle's obnoxious stories about their summer adventures. Nova couldn't bring herself to look up from the ground, where her stare had remained since Malfoy had come back into the compartment.
When the train rolled to a stop, all of them got up to leave. Crabbe and Goyle piled out first, Blaise and Theo following behind them. Nova started to make her way out of the compartment, but stopped when she noticed Malfoy was still sitting in the seat. "You go on," he told her, waving her off. "I just want to check something."
"Yeah," she whispered. "Okay." But she made no move to leave. Malfoy must have noticed the look on her face, for he sighed.
"You don't have to worry about me, Nova," he said softly, standing and moving until he was right next to her. She saw that same terror in his eyes that she'd seen earlier and let out a humorless laugh. "What's so funny?"
"I'm going to worry about you whether you like it or not Malfoy." He opened his mouth to argue with her, but she shook her head. "Look, I made a promise to myself this year. After what happened with... you know... I promise that I'd go back to the cold and selfish Slytherin ice princess everyone thought I was before all of this mess." She stepped closer to Malfoy and put her hand on his shoulder. "But you were there for me, Malfoy. You were there for me when I was a crying mess, you made sure to send me letters this summer checking on Theo for me, and I really appreciated that."
"That's what friends do." He raised a hand up to her face and drew back the little strands of hair that wee threatening to get into her eyes. When she flinched, he smiled bitterly. "Sorry, force of habit. But we're friends. I can be just friends, Nova, I promise."
"Good. You told me when you were holding me after the worst breakup of my teenage life that you were going to be there for me, whether I liked it or not. The same applies here, Malfoy. I was there for Theo, and I'll be here for you. But in order for me to do that, you have to let me in." His eyebrows furrowed together in melancholy sadness, and she sighed. "Please let me in. Tell me what's going on. Don't leave me standing on the outside of the glass wall you're building around yourself. Talking to you through this time, it has helped so much. So much more than you could imagine. Let me do the same for you. Let me be there for you. I promise I will be."
He sighed, but grabbed her hand in his. This embrace was okay, she decided. She didn't like the feel of someone holding her hand (it was too familiar, too heartbreaking, and Draco Malfoy's hand was not Ron Weasley's), but it was what she was offering in order for Draco to let her in. "Am I ever going to not be in love with you?" he asked.
She was frustrated. "Stop trying to change the subject, please."
"I'm not changing the subject," he argued, shaking his head. "I just wish..." he trailed off, but she knew what the implied words meant. I wish things could be different. I wish we could still be together. I wish you loved me.
"I know. I'm sorry. But what I can offer is to be on your side, Malfoy. You know I am. I always will be. Even if there's a war, I'll fight by your side."
"Don't say things you don't mean." Nova frowned and tried to open her mouth to argue, but he shook his head. "Go on. I'll be at the carriages in a little bit." He let go of her hand and gently pushed her towards the compartment door, not enough to hurt her or even apply a significant amount of force, but enough to have her distance herself from him. "And Nova? Thank you. Really. I'll try to work on being just friends."
"That's not the point of what I'm trying to tell you," she said, but shook her head with a small smile. "But, thank you. I appreciate that. Please let me in," she repeated before she turned on her heel and made her way out of the compartment.
She didn't even realize that Harry Potter, seconds before being paralyzed by a spell Draco Malfoy sent his way, was silently sighing and asking himself why the hell his best friend had been such an idiot.
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OH MY GOD HI HELLO I'VE ACTUALLY UPDATED CONTROL AND MY SMOL BABY NOVA IS BACK
I hope you guys enjoyed this chapter as much as I enjoyed writing it! I've missed being back in Nova's head space. Sorry for the delay in this chapter, but school and work have been kicking my butt this semester and I haven't really had time to write until this week, since it's spring break. But not to worry, I couldn't abandon Nova even if I tried. She's literally my baby.
Thank you for reading!