My heart starts to thud in my chest when the seatbelt sign lights up and a voice on the intercom announces that we are about to land. I clutch the armrests to stop my hands from shaking. I’m surprised that I’m more nervous about coming home than I was about leaving for LA but then I remember the awkward conversation with my parents I have ahead of me explaining why I walked out on my acting career and I feel like my fear is justified. Not to mention the fact that I ignored my best friends for a whole month and they probably hate me now and that my almost-boyfriend is now dating one of my enemies. Yeah, I have plenty of reasons to be worried.
I am too busy thinking about this to even notice that the plane has safely landed and that the passengers are already filing off in a neat queue. I get up and pull my bag down from the overhead locker and then get off the plane, giving the air hostess a shaky smile as she thanks me for my custom.
As soon as I get out, I am hit by the cool breeze that sends a shiver through my body and I realise that I am used to the steamy California weather and maybe shorts and a crop top were not the best things to wear in early May in Rosedale, since Spring is only just beginning. Luckily, it is a little warmer inside and I manage to navigate the airport to reclaim my suitcase and make my way to arrivals.
I search the crowd of people for my parents and I feel a mixture of happiness and fear when I spot them. They look a little confused as to why I’m here but still happy to see me and their smiles widen as I approach them.
“Melody, we’ve missed you so much!” my mom says as she pulls me into a tight hug. I hug her just as tightly and bury my face in her shoulder, realising how much I’ve missed them too.
“It’s so good to see you again,” my dad adds, resting his hand on my back and I look up to smile at him.
We walk back to the car in happy silence and only make small talk throughout the journey home. I can tell they’re both avoiding asking why I’ve come back but I’m glad because I don’t quite feel ready to tell them yet. I’m just so happy to be home and I don’t want to ruin that good feeling until I’ve made the most of it. When we’ve arrived home and I’ve unpacked, I know I can’t avoid it any longer so I walk into the living room where my parents seem to be waiting for me and just tell them everything.
I explain how my audition went pretty badly but I got accepted anyway, how I felt completely alone on the first night, I tell them about Lavinia and her telling me I was too fat, how Jenna had gone through the same thing and how we became friends, how Mr Ferelli hated my acting and just criticised me all the time and how bad this made me feel. I leave out the bit about Austin because it’s too humiliating and I realise that he wasn’t the reason I left. His betrayal helped me understand how unhappy I was there but I left because I didn’t enjoy the work, not because of some stupid guy. Throughout all this, my parents stay silent and listen to me intently, not giving away any hint of their emotions. It’s only when I finish my story at the point where Jenna drove me to the airport and I came home that my mom speaks.
“But sweetie, if you were so unhappy why didn’t you tell us? You always said everything was great whenever we called,” she asks gently. I look down at my hands in my lap, feeling embarrassed that I lied.
“I…I guess I didn’t want to admit to myself that it was going so badly,” I admit, tears starting to fill my eyes, “I thought things would get better and then it would be true. But they didn’t, so I left. Are you mad?”
“Of course we’re not mad,” my mom says, pulling me into another hug as tears start to roll down my cheeks. “You did the right thing, honey. That place obviously wasn’t right for you and those people were making you unhappy. You shouldn’t have to put up with that.” I choke out a sigh of relief between sobs and rest my head on my mom’s shoulder, feeling so much better to know my parents support my decision.
“We shouldn’t have let you go in the first place,” my dad sighs with his hand on his forehead, “We should have met the director or gone with you to make sure it was right for you, then you wouldn’t have had to go through all that.”
“No, we did the right thing,” my mom disagrees gently. “We have to let her have these experiences so she knows how to deal with them. We can’t protect her from everything. It’s things like these that make you a stronger person,” she explains and I nod in agreement. As awful as it all was, it had made me stronger and more confident. Now, Elisha and Ariel seem like nothing compared to what I faced there.
“We need to check the paperwork to make sure they can’t sue, and inform the school that Melody’s coming back,” my dad reminds my mom and I suddenly realise that I have school tomorrow. I’ll have to face Cassie, Sienna and Sam tomorrow. That feels way too soon.
“It’ll be fine. I can call in a favour from an old friend to sort out the paperwork and the school was reserving her place for her anyway for six months. It shouldn’t make much difference if she’s back a few months early,” my mom reassures my dad, getting up to stand next to him.
“I’m sorry if I’ve made things difficult,” I apologise in a small voice, feeling guilty about all the work I’ve given my parents in bailing me out.
“Don’t apologise, Melody. We’re so proud of you for doing what you did and no amount of paperwork could change that,” my dad says firmly and I smile. “Now, you should go and get a good night’s sleep ready for school tomorrow while we take care of all the legal business.”
I nod and hug them both before going up to my room. My heart leaps at all the familiar sights: my playbills, my posters, my curtains. I had missed it all while I was in LA and it feels so good to be reunited with my old room. I put in my iPod earphones and start playing my Broadway playlist while changing into my pyjamas and completing my skincare routine. It feels so refreshing to wash away all the unhappiness and doubt I felt in LA while listening to ‘On my Own’ and reminding myself why I love Broadway so much.
It’s only when ‘My Man’ comes on and I feel a pang of sadness as I remember how I used to listen to this song and think about Sam. I curl up on my windowsill and wrap the soft red velvet curtains around myself as I gaze out at the night sky. I used to cry when I heard this song because I would think about him with Elisha and the words “Oh my man I love him so, he’ll never know” would just tear my heart to pieces with the brutal truth of them. Then, I stopped crying after he broke up with her because I thought I might have a chance but I realise now that I’m just back to square one with Sam dating Ariel and me on my own again. Maybe I should put Les Miserables back on again - that might be more appropriate.
I look out at the stars and think about the fact that these are the same stars I was looking at back in LA. It’s a weird thought that I woke up this morning ready to do another day’s filming and ended up back in my old room in Rosedale. I pick up my phone and text Jenna, suddenly missing my roommate, telling her that I’ve landed safely. She replies within a few minutes saying she misses me too and wishing me good luck at school tomorrow. I smile to myself and decide I shouldn’t prolong the conversation for too long or I’ll start crying again. I feel like such an emotional mess: I’m glad I left LA but I miss Jenna, and I’m glad to be home but I’m worried about how Cassie, Sienna and Sam will react to me returning.
I climb down from the window and decide to go to bed before I start crying or getting hysterical or something (I really am a mess right now). I curl up in the sheets and breathe in the familiar smell before falling into a deep sleep.
I wake up to the sound of Barbra’s voice as ‘Don’t Rain on my Parade’ blasts out of my alarm clock. I had linked my alarm clock to my iPod at the beginning of the year so that I would wake up to the inspiring lyrics sung by my idol every morning to put me in a good mood. I smile to myself and start to sing along, even though my voice is still a little sleepy, as I get out of bed and into the shower. I go to my wardrobe to choose an outfit and suddenly realise that I don’t have Jenna to pick one out for me.
Grabbing my phone, I type out a text asking what to wear for my first day back. She replies within seconds, obviously bored on the film set, with: “Ripped skinny jeans, strappy heels, black off-shoulder top, huge sunnies, red lips, hair pinned. Now go kick some ass sister!” I laugh at her last comment and follow her advice, examining myself in the mirror before I go downstairs. I look like a different person from the one who set off to LA - I’ve traded my cardigans and florals for ripped jeans and heels - but maybe that change is for the best. I haven’t totally given up on my Broadway obsession (that would be impossible) but I’ve just updated it a little.
I rush downstairs and into the kitchen, where my mom is making pancakes. She looks at my outfit and raises her eyebrows.
“That’s not your usual style,” she remarks smiling.
“Yeah, Jenna was kind of an influence on me,” I reply, stacking a few pancakes on my plate and pouring syrup over them. My mom smiles to herself again as she watches me pile up my plate.
“Developed quite the appetite while you were out there, huh?” she jokes, and I laugh.
“Well, I got used to the huge hotel breakfasts in LA. Sometimes Jenna and I had twenty between us,” I smile to myself at the memory.
“You miss her, don’t you,” my mom says softly, stroking my hair like she used to when I was younger. I nod, looking down at my food.
“It’s just knowing that I left her to suffer in that place makes me feel so guilty. I tried to get her to leave but she wouldn’t,” I explain.
“You shouldn’t feel bad, sweetheart. She’s staying there by her own choice and that’s not your fault. Sometimes you’ve gotta wait for people to be ready to fix things for themselves, you can’t force it. She’ll leave when she’s ready,” she says and I know she’s right. Jenna can leave whenever she wants to, I’m not the one stopping her.
My mom offers to drive me to school so I quickly finish my pancakes and grab my bag before heading out to the car. On the journey, she explains that the school accepted me back and I’m just continuing with my usual classes. They’ve requested that I finish the assignments they sent me but, other than that, everything’s back to normal. I’m relieved that I can just carry on from where I left off but then I remember I have a lot of people to apologise to and friendships to try and fix so this won’t exactly be a walk in the park.
I feel butterflies in my stomach as we pull up to the school but I take a deep breath to calm myself. I pull out my phone and reread Jenna’s text. Now go kick some ass sister. I smile to myself and decide to follow her advice. My mom kisses me goodbye and I put on my sunglasses. Time for my big entrance.
I step out of the car doing my best impression of a celebrity, brushing my hair over my shoulder and walking with my head held high. I catch sight of Cassie and Sienna in the parking lot talking with their boyfriends. At first they don’t see me but then Cassie’s jaw drops and she tugs on Sienna’s arm and points to me. I pretend to not be looking as Sienna turns around and stares at me for a few seconds as if she can’t believe what she’s seeing and then she turns her back on me and folds her arms and carries on talking to Scott. Cassie looks at me for a little longer but then turns away slowly with a sad look on her face. Just before I look away, though, my heart twists as I see her say the words “She’s changed”.
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A/N: Hey everyone! I've decided to write author's notes on all of these last few chapters, mainly to apologise for slow updates! I just about managed to update before the end of the week as promised :) I know this chapter isn't massively exciting but hopefully the next one will have a bit more going on! There may be a few mistakes in there because I didn't have as much time to check it as I usually do as I've been revising for my Latin exam tomorrow (oh fun) for most of the day :( Updates might get a bit slower from here onwards as my exams start again as of tomorrow but I'll try my best for you guys because I love you <3 So I hope you enjoyed this and please vote and comment you lovely people! :) Okay, I should really go to bed or I'll fall asleep in my exam :/ Much love to you all!
-Selena xxx