Chapter 36: Gone Girl
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Love: It can either make you, or it can break you. Sometimes both. Though the tricky thing with love is it can take two months or longer to make someone, but two seconds to break them into a thousand pieces. It's easy to do so, really. All it takes is a single word. Or maybe three, if we're being technical to this situation.
"That's great, Stefan. Tell me, should I get Not Elena tattooed on my forehead so you can learn to decipher whose who, or is that too much?" Amalia was fuming, to say the least. It was almost as if you could see smoke blaring out of her ears as she walked through the Salvatore Boarding House, allowing her boyfriend (though that term was a little loose) to follow from behind her, repeating every step she took.
"She kissed me." Stefan called out from behind, completely aware that in that moment, it probably wasn't the best thing he could have said. In fact, he found himself wondering if taking in every word she said and just apologizing would have had a better outcome than the one he was experiencing.
"Oh, well when you put it that way, I feel much better. You know, I can't believe I actually thought that you would choose me. But it always comes down to Elena, doesn't it? Whether it's one year ago or now, it's always gonna be Elena." A couple of months before she wouldn't have even let the thought cross her mind, but times had changed from then.
"That's not true." Stefan denied it, but standing where he was, he knew it was no use. No matter what he said, true or not, none of it mattered.
She stopped in her tracks as she processed every word he had said thus far, finally turning around to face him in the dead center of his living room. "Well, your actions say otherwise."
"I don't want to be with Elena. I want to be with you." He seemed to be saying that a lot lately, and that was one thing she couldn't stand. And it was one thing she wasn't sure if she could even believe anymore.
"It's funny. You say that. You put my hand on your heart and you say, I'm not lying. You're the one I want to be with, and look where it got us." She was able to throw out yet another example of a broken promise he had made. He had promised her that she had nothing to worry about. He had told her that nothing was going to happen between him and Elena. And yet, it still did.
"And I was telling you the truth." His voice had raised and it was easy to tell that not only was he having to defend himself, but he was angry about having to do so as well. Even if he had put himself into a position where he had to defend himself.
"I love you. Only you." She reminded him of yet anorther thing he had said to her, "Nothing's gonna happen. I asked you if it was all in my head, and you promised me that it was."
"And I meant it." He used the exact same defense as before, but it was clear that whatever it was he said, she would only just continue to hurl things at him.
Without thinking, he lunged his hand towards hers, trying to grab onto it as if he thought that his touch would fix everything. That the moment their fingers interlocked, bygones would be bygones. And though he wished it to be true, it was a fantasy. In that moment, standing there, right in front of her, hope was only just a fantasy. And with the yank of her hand, he was brought back into the nightmare.
The look in her eye made him feel as if he was the devil himself. She looked at him as if he was everything that was evil. As if she genuinely hated him. But she didn't. In fact, it was the opposite. She wasn't angry at him. She was angry at herself for trusting him. "Did you pull away?" He nodded slowly, not even allowing so much as a peep to leave his mouth. "When?"
"I--" He cut his own voice off, unable to get the answer out and confirming every last thought that had been lingering in the back of her mind. "I'm sorry."
She nodded her head slowly as her brain processed every last word that had been said between the two of them, forcing her to wonder what the best thing to do was in that moment. "I have to go."
✰✰✰
The next morning, it had become abundantly clear that while each of them were under the impression that Elena had been doing everything in her power to tear down each of their lives one by one, she had also managed to trick every last one of them into believing that she was Elena. But to top off the icing on the cake, they had all come to the same conclusion: They weren't dealing with Elena. They were dealing with Katherine Pierce.
"You can't be serious." Amalia scoffed in disbelief, not sure what to think of their little frenemy hitching a ride in their best friend's brain while all of them had been innocently bypassing her behavior for weeks thinking that it was Elena Gilbert.
"She was at my house... how did none of us figure it out?" Tyler asked, and it was a valid question. They had all been around her for hours on end, and none of them seemed to pick up on a single tell.
"Because it's Katherine and she's smart, and conniving, and sneaky... and we're the worst friends ever." Caroline replied, already drowning herself in guilt.
"This makes no sense. She saved my life. She gave me CPR when Enzo tried to kill me. Katherine would never do that." Jeremy made his own points from over the phone, confused by how Katherine, who had once killed him without a pinch of guilt, was eager to save his life for once.
"That's what made her so believable. She played Elena to a tee. If she let you die, her cover was blown." The Bennett explained it all to her boyfriend as she had gotten a general understanding of the way Katherine had played them all like a fiddle.
"I was sleeping three feet away from her! She picked out my Bitter Ball dress. And I let her use my toothpaste!" Caroline complained, reminding herself and all of them of how close they had been to Katherine without even realizing it.
"Well, did she lure you into a hotel room to make out with you?" At the sound of his voice, Amalia froze. She could feel him stop in place from right behind her and she could feel every one of her muscles pull on her to turn around and look at him, but she didn't.
"She's the reason I found out about you and Klaus." Tyler added as he was beginning to put every last piece together, fitting them into the puzzle that was Katherine Pierce.
"Of course! Oh my god!" Caroline brought her hands to her head as she realized what he was saying. And honestly, hearing it out loud in that moment was enough for her to question why she ever thought Elena would openly do anything of the sort.
"So how do we kill the bitch?" Amalia spoke up, allowing all of her anger to be put into one plan: Katherine Pierce's demise.
"Well, passengers can be expelled from the host. We saw it happen with Matt. Gregor died, and Matt lived. All we have to do is stab her with the Traveller knife." Stefan answered his girlfriend's question. Or ex-girlfriend. Though they had argued about it all, they hadn't exactly come to a conclusion-- To break up, or not to break up?
"I still have the knife Nadia gave me." Matt added, helpful as ever.
"Perfect! Go get it." Stefan smiled at how perfect the plan was coming along, proud of how they had put it together so quickly.
"I'll come with you." Amalia volunteered to accompany her ex-boyfriend, more than happy to escape the Salvatore Boarding House (and Stefan) for a bit.
"Wait, you guys! This is Katherine we're talking about. She's going to see a sneak attack from a mile away. We've got to get her to come to us. Get her guard down, corner her." Though it did in fact seem like the perfect plan, Caroline didn't let a chance to point out the little kinks in it slip.
"Fat chance you'll be seeing her today. I'm pretty sure I bit Nadia." Tyler admitted.
"What do you mean, you bit her?" Matt Donovan asked defensively.
"I mean, she was attacking Caroline, and I might've nipped her a little." Tyler explained without a care in the world, but it was clear that Matt did, even if it was just a little.
"And you're just mentioning this now?" Matt asked another question with the slightest bit of worry for Nadia.
"Hey, guys! Focus. Tyler's right. Katherine's not going to leave Nadia's side, unless not leaving compromises her identity." Caroline snapped them out of their side conversation, focusing on the main subject at hand.
"Which means...?" Matt trailed off as he waited for Caroline to put her words into a proper sentence.
"We've got to invite her to something that Elena can't say no to."
✰✰✰
As Matt Donovan and Amalia Schultz searched the Lockwood residence high and dry, the knife seemed nowhere near where Matt had said it would be beforehand, which was a bit of a problem to say the least. After about five minutes of searching relentlessly, Matt stopped for a second and looked over at Amalia, watching her as she tore the room apart in search of the traveler knife.
"Are you okay?" Matt raised an eyebrow at her, confused by how desperate she appeared to be for the knife. But she didn't respond. And so he walked over to her, setting his hand on top of her arm to stop her. "Lia?"
"What?" Amalia snapped at him, guilt washing over her face as she realized how rude she had been to him when all he ever wanted to do was help. "Sorry. Rough day."
"Yeah, I can see that. Does this have anything to do with what Stefan said?" Matt asked, and while she knew his intentions were nothing but pure, Stefan Salvatore was the last person she wanted to think about, let alone talk about.
"I don't want to talk about it. I just want to find this stupid knife and get rid of Katherine freaking Pierce forever." Amalia replied before continuing to search for the knife, throwing every pillow behind her as if the knife would for any reason be located behind a sofa cushion. As she realized that it wasn't, she took a seat on top of the couch, running her hands through her hair out of frustration. "If we don't find this knife, I'm gonna scream."
"Okay. How about you sit here, and I'll look for the knife?" Matt suggested, hoping that sitting for a moment to take a breather would calm her down. But what he didn't know was that she didn't need to calm down. She needed for the sadness that had struck her entire body to disappear for just one second, even if it only lasted that long
"No, no. It's okay. I can help." Amalia assured the boy that all was well in her world, but he knew that it couldn't be further from the truth. Amalia looked at him for a second, sensing a panic of his own. "You like her, don't you? Nadia."
"It's... I don't know." Matt shrugged as he had no clue of how to respond. "She doesn't deserve this. Any of it."
"Yeah." Her voice had become quiet, matching the tone of the conversation before crouching down in front of the locked safe, looking up at Matt as she waited for him to speak up again, "Password?"
✰✰✰
As they had all spent the majority of their night surrounded by a dying Nadia and waiting for Katherine Pierce to show up at last, time was beginning to stretch and each of them couldn't help but wonder if she would even show up at all. Just as the thought crossed their minds, the front door opened, revealing the doppelgänger / traveler standing in front of the doorway.
"I'm here to see my daughter." Katherine walked straight into the living room and right over to her daughter, not even so much as sending a glance in the direction of anyone else in the room. "Nadia..."
As Katherine sat by her side, a small smile crept on Nadia's face as she realized she was no longer alone. "You came back for me."
"I won't leave you again." Katherine assured her daughter as she grabbed onto her hand, squeezing it.
"Did you find a way to save me?" Nadia coughed out, weak as ever.
"Klaus's blood would have saved you... If I had asked for it." Katherine trailed off, admitting that she hadn't bothered to ask Klaus for his blood, aware of what the consequences would be.
"You would have outed yourself." Nadia seemed to understand, proving to all of them just how much she loved her mother.
"But you would have been alive. And now it's too late." Katherine looked down at their interlocked fingers, a pained look taking over her face.
As Nadia closed her eyes, a worried look appeared on her face. "My mother's name is Katherine. I'm looking for her."
"You found me. Nadia, I'm right here." Katherine moved her other hand to Nadia's cheek, calmly resting it there.
"She's a liar and a murderer. She manipulates, she betrays... She'll do anything to survive." Nadia continued to describe Katherine Pierce to a tee, and it was clear to see the disappointment on her mother's face as she listened to every preconception her daughter had of her.
"Nadia, no. I'm right here. Nadia, look at me. Look at me. I'm here, I'm right here." Katherine made yet another attempt to catch the attention of the girl in front of her, but it was no use.
"I'm looking for my mother." Nadia repeated without any idea of the reality of the situation.
"This is not what your life should have been. 500 years searching for a mother who ended up being me." The doppelgänger rubbed her thumb over her daughter's cheek, sighing as she did so. "Let me show you what your life should have been. What a perfect day would look like. You and I had a little cottage. It was an ordinary summer day. You were playing outside you were tired and it was time for bed. You told me about the fort that you'd built out in the woods by the river. So I asked if I could visit, and you said when the sun came out in the morning. And I said, goodnight, Nadia. Sleep well. Your mother loves you."
Amalia peeled her eyes up for a second, catching onto Stefan's gaze as she saw that he had already been staring at her. And in that moment, only for just a moment, all of her pain had floated away. In that moment, they were happy. They were in love and pain was only just a memory. With the clear of her throat, she forced her eyes down once again, looking up again after a couple of seconds to see his eyes were no longer on her.
"So. This is it." Katherine attempted to run from them, speeding towards the front door just in time for Damon Salvatore to open it.
"Hello, Katherine. You didn't think I'd miss this, did you?" Damon smirked as he walked inside of the entryway, forcing her to take one step back with each one he took forward.
"Okay. So...who's got the knife? Which one of you is gonna get to kill the elusive Katherine Pierce once and for all? What? Suddenly everyone's speechless? When I was on my deathbed you all had plenty to say." Katherine called out as the room stayed silent, walking over to Tyler Lockwood at last. "Is it you, Tyler? Because I triggered the werewolf curse? Gave you an identity and made you matter?"
"You've done nothing for me." Tyler growled with anger rising in his chest, tempted to finish the job before any of them got the chance.
"Oh please, Tyler. If I hadn't walked into your life you just be a wasted nobody with a boozy mom and a temper problem." Katherine replied and Tyler took a step forward, but Caroline quickly stopped him, bringing the attention onto her. "And you. I'm not worried about you offing me. Because we both know I made you better by making you a vampire."
"Goodbye, Katherine." Caroline smiled at her, her tone a bit condescending.
"Bye bye, Caroline." Katherine waved at her with a smile before moving onto Matt. "The one girl here who actually appreciates how beautiful you are. You wouldn't stab me in the heart, would you, Matty Blue? No, I don't think so. You will definitely go down as the best night I never had. Oh, well..."
"Oh, well." Matt repeated, though he was quite happy it was a night that he never had to endure.
"Well, little Gilbert, it was nice to have a brother for a second there...when you weren't being so damn annoying." Katherine patted him on the shoulder quickly before looking over at the Bennett. "Bon Bon, no need for goodbyes. I'll see you on the flip side."
"What, are you gonna give me some speech about how you seduced my boyfriend?" Amalia asked through her teeth as she withheld the tempting thought of slapping the bitch.
"Actually, I was gonna say you're welcome. The only reason your sister stayed alive as long as she did was because of me. And I might add that the only reason you're here right now is all because of my existence. Funny how that works, huh?" Katherine winked at the shorter girl. "I think I might actually miss you... maybe. See ya."
"Goodbye, evil one." Amalia rolled her eyes as she crossed her arms over her chest, more than ready to hurry up Katherine's send-off.
Katherine turned away from the girl, facing her ex-boyfriend. "Damon. How you would love nothing more than to drive that blade right through me."
"We've already done that, Kitty Kat. I've said all I needed to say." Damon replied, anything but eager to have to experience yet another goodbye with Katherine Pierce.
"I know but I never got to say what I needed to say to you. I'm sorry. You blame me for who you are. And I'm sorry. I'm sorry that I turned you. I'm sorry that you didn't get to die as a forgotten nobody on a bloody battlefield, and your father didn't get to live another day to be disgraced by you. Damon, I'm sorry that I gave your life a purpose. Passion, drive, desire. I'm sorry that you are who you are, because I'm the one that taught you how to love." Katherine had taken the conversation to another level, truly being honest with the Salvatore for once.
"I'll see you in hell, Katherine." Damon responded, earning a wink from her.
"Stefan. You know, I've always wondered how it would be like to be loved by you. You've gotta admit, for that one fleeting moment... your feelings were real. It's truly has been the role of a lifetime. Stefan, I love you. And I've always loved you." Katherine's eyes fell as she looked at the Salvatore in the eye one last time before he stabbed the traveller knife through her. "Then I guess this is how our love story ends."
✰✰✰
Stefan Salvatore slowly walked back into the library of his home, hesitating with every step he took forward. The fear of what was to come had completely set inside him, forcing him to own up to his actions. Though he had to admit that the thought of confronting her in that moment was the scariest part of it all-- The thought of the consequences of his actions. The thought of her breaking his heart, even if he had been the one to break hers first.
As he entered the room, his eyes landed on her as she stared into the fire, watching the flames burn with every free movement it made, listening in on the crackling sound it created. Somehow, as if she had been expecting him, she turned her head around to look at him. He could see the emptiness in her that he had created, forcing a pit to grow inside of him.
"Hi." He dared to start the conversation, regardless of the fact that he was wishing they would never have to have the conversation to begin with.
"Hi." She repeated his words as the pace of her heart quickened. She was hurt, but even then, pain and all, she hated the thought of hurting him. "So, I guess this would be the time to talk."
He stuck out his tongue, gliding it across his bottom lip as his eyes scanned the room-- Anywhere but her. "Yeah."
"Okay. I'll start-- You kissed Elena... or Katherine... whoever it was, you still kissed her. And you hurt me. I know you didn't mean to, but you did." He was used to hearing her speak rather quickly, but she wasn't then. In that moment, everything seemed to be slow. Her body language, her voice. She was in pain, and everything about her proved it. She ran her hands through her hair, closing her eyes as she huffed out the air she had been holding in. "What am I supposed to do, Stefan? Am I supposed to forgive you? Is that the right thing to do? Will you tell me? 'Cause I don't know."
The tears in her eyes killed him. All he wanted to do was wipe them away and cure her of any sadness she carried, but he kept his distance from her as he knew that that was the right thing to do. "No."
"Then what? Do I walk away? I-I know I should, but what if I don't want to? What if I can't? Then what?" Her voice cracked a bit and it was clear to see that she was holding back her cries, which only caused her heart to break even more. It was odd, really-- Refusing to feel emotion only brought more. "I mean, what am I supposed to do right now? Forgive you? Because I really don't think I can. Leave you? Well, that sucks too."
"Amalia--"
"No. Please don't say anything. I just--" She felt the tears coming on and her breathing got heavier as she attempted to fight it off. "I need a minute."
"Amalia." He grabbed onto her arm, pulling it back down to her side. Their eyes met in an instant, showing each other the tears that filled all four eyes in the room, allowing the drops to fall down their cheeks as neither of them said a word. Stefan bit down on his lip for a second to silence his own cries and without an ounce of hesitation, she brought her hand to his cheek, keeping it there for comfort.
He brought his own hand up to hers, covering it as he interlocked their fingers. His head started to nod slowly, confirming a thought that had been lingering in the back of her head-- She couldn't forgive him, but she couldn't forget him either. And so he was letting her go.
"No." Though she knew that he was doing the right thing, her heart felt it was completely wrong. As she felt his hand slip away from her, all she wanted to do was grab onto him once again. "No."
Though breaking her heart, along with his own, was the last thing he wanted to do, he knew that what she needed was far more important than anything he wanted. And if being apart from him is what she needed, so be it. "It's what the better guy would do. You deserve the better guy."
"You are the better guy." Even though she knew it was the right thing to do, being away from him after spending so much time trying to be with him felt like her very own living hell.
"Which is why I'm walking away." He replied, and she knew he was doing everything he should, even if the idea tore her apart. "I'm letting you go. I'm being the better guy."
As she watched him walk out of the room, it was as if he had taken her heart with him. She could feel her heart shatter within her with every second that passed, breaking over and over again with the reminder of the loneliness that surrounded her. She brought her hand to the back of her neck, grasping onto it for a moment as what felt like a river of tears filled her eyes, preparing to stream down her face.
She had prepared for it, she thought to herself. She had spent the past twenty four hours readying herself for that exact moment, and in the end, she couldn't do it. In the end she found herself begging her own heart to forgive him. In the moment where she was staring into his eyes, pushing herself to say the words, all she heard was radio silence. She wasn't able to compromise her own happiness to fulfill her sadness. And so he did it for her. He broke her, and there she stood, falling apart into a thousand pieces. And someway, somehow, not even she could catch herself.
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And now for the breakup process to begin... sort of? I don't know. What do all of you think of Stefan choosing to let her go? I'm going to try to update as much as possible, but I'm going to Cancún for spring break on Friday, so I don't know. I'll probably end up sitting on the beach, writing away as I burn in the sun HAHAHAHA . Anyway, I hope you all enjoyed this chapter and are excited for the future of this book! x