Seo Yumi was a low profile composer who kept her identity a secret. To her employers, she was always addressed by a pen name, SoYou. Though she considered composing music as simply a hobby, SoYou had produced many great ballad songs and tracks for top artists within the Korean entertainment industry.
By day, she worked at Big Hit Entertainment as a small production assistant with paperwork occupying most of her time. The company has always been kind to their employees and she enjoyed working there. One reason was because she was a loyal ARMY and especially treasured the small instances of when she caught sight of BTS in the office. She was captivated by how passionate the boys were such that she wanted to somehow be part of their music.
Repeatedly, she has sent demos of her composition to Big Hit as SoYou but was continuously rejected because the songs were not a fit to BTS's style. Often, she'd think it was inevitable since she specialized in ballad songs rather than hip-hop. But she didn't give up. Her latest track, composed specifically with the boys in mind, was an EDM piece with an upbeat tempo mained by a sampler. The notes were played softly with a simple melody, giving flexibility to the track so it could fit into various genres depending on the lyrics overlaid.
But she has not heard any news for an entire week since she had submitted it to Big Hit's production team. She was about to assume another rejection until she received an email from them which read:
"Dear SoYou-sshi,
After long deliberation, we have decided to choose your track for the next album and would like to meet you personally to discuss the contract. Please pick a date at your convenience to meet the production team and the boys.
Sincerely,
Slow Rabbit"
Yumi covered her mouth to prevent the gleeful exclamation. At last, her track was chosen. But her excitement cooled as sudden as it rose, realizing she had to meet them. To keep her identity hidden, SoYou had met with her employees only in necessity and always with a face mask on. However, Yumi was a production assistant at Big Hit and has met with many of the production team, including Slow Rabbit who sent the email. They may recognize her more easily.
She has always been sensitive to the publicity. Rather, she hated it. She didn't want to be pressured in a contract to produce music tirelessly for a single artist or company. If she had the freedom to produce what she wanted, she felt better music came out of it. So, keeping Yumi and SoYou as different people was imperative to her.
But her ARMY side wasn't going to allow her to decline a meeting with the boys even at the risk of being recognized. She replied kindly to Slow Rabbit's email.
"Dear Slow Rabbit-sshi,
It's a pleasure to receive such a good news from you. I will be available tomorrow after working hours and will be happy to meet at Big Hit's office. However, I seek for your understanding that due to personal reasons, I will not expose my appearance and voice. As such, I will only use a notebook for communication. To identify me, I will be dressed in a black suit, cap, and face mask.
I hope to receive your approval on this matter.
Sincerely,
SoYou"
Yumi received a confirmation email from Slow Rabbit almost immediately that he and the production team agreed to the condition. With a relieved sigh, Yumi continued work with slight feelings of excitement and nervousness. Whenever one of the production team passed her desk, she felt goosebumps rise.
Tomorrow will be a whole lot more nerve-wracking compared to other meetings she's had with other companies as SoYou. After all, it'll be all familiar faces in one room which was super risky concerning her double identity. But no matter--since BTS will be there as well.
***
Once the clock struck five, Yumi rushed back home to change clothes and prepare for the meeting. She quickly chose a neat black suit and cap along with a black face mask. It was an outfit starkly different from the white floral sweater and sky blue skirt she had on during the day. She was going to return to the company office as a completely different person, so she made sure to choose something Yumi would normally never wear. When she looked in the mirror, she laughed lightly, not recognizing herself.
People would think I was some ninja wannabe. Or even a criminal.
She took a large notebook and secured a pen in its rings. She needed extra precaution with this meeting if she wanted to keep her identity a secret. She won't talk at all. At least, her handwriting was neat and quite nice.They may find this strange but it was necessary to her. She took in a deep breathe at the door of her apartment, equipped her black winter coat, and exited as SoYou.
***
Jimin leaned back into the sofa within the recording studio, closing his eyes momentarily. For a straight two hours, he had been staring non stop at a blank piece of paper. Meanwhile, a beautiful EDM track played on repeat in the background. It was pretty. It sounded pure and lovely such that Jimin could not find words or lyrics to match it. Similarly, V and J-Hope had been in the studio, racking their brains over creating lyrics to the track as well and coming out absolutely empty. They all wanted to do well since they knew such a pretty track would, without a doubt, be a candidate for their next title song.
The track itself felt generic yet somehow made for BTS. Its soft yet powerful melody could sound so different depending on the lyrics added but that gap perfectly fitted with how BTS often performed with controversial and striking messages.
Just how was that possible? Did its composer make it specifically for BTS?
Jimin pouted and shook his head. It didn't really matter. Either way, his head was completely blank and would not be able to write any lyrics like this. He exited the studio then, meeting with V in the hallway and chatted briefly before they were called by Sejin, their manager, to gather in the conference room--one used specifically for special guests. The last celebrity to meet them there was Wale so once all the members and producers arrived in the room, they waited silently with tense excitement. Who could this special guest be?
***
SoYou arrived at Big Hit and headed straight to Bang PD's office, already familiar of its location as Yumi. She took off her black winter coat and placed it over her arm before knocking on his door. Within seconds, Bang PD called for her to enter. He took a moment to look at her up and down before nodding once. "Welcome to Big Hit, SoYou-sshi." He was dressed casually in a black hood and jeans but the atmosphere around him felt authoritative. SoYou bowed and was about to take out her notebook when he put his hand up. "Let's delay talking about the contract at a later time. Everyone is already waiting to meet you."
SoYou nodded and followed Bang PD to the conference room. When she entered, she was surprised by all the attendees that were already present. The entire production team, including Slow Rabbit, and BTS were there. She felt a bit flustered by the flood of attention but managed to appear calm on the outside. She bowed and displayed her notebook with the greeting she had pre-written on the road. "Hello. I am SoYou."
Jimin let his mouth open in shock as he observed the small guest.
She...I think she was a she...was dressed entirely in black and had on a mask that covered her entire face except her eyes. She was...uh... Okay, unique might be the best way to describe her for now.
Despite the unusual greeting, J-Hope and RM approached her. One welcomed her with warm, bright smiles while the latter did so with professional maturity. Once V took his turn, Jimin followed. When Jimin got near, he noticed she was shorter than him, making his smile come out a bit more naturally. "Hello. I'm BTS's Jimin."
SoYou respectfully addressed each member as they took their turn to greet her, smiling underneath her mask. As Yumi, she barely had an opportunity to talk to BTS since the members weren't always at the company office. Even if they were, they'd be locked in the practice room or recording studio. So, she was excited to be able to converse with them, even if she didn't actually speak. She then wrote on her notebook and displayed it to everyone. "It's a pleasure to meet all of you." When Bang PD took a seat at the head of the conference table, everyone followed suit. SoYou took a seat across from him and wrote in her notebook again. "I hope you all liked the track I made."
A brief moment of silence occurred. Though the production team were aware of SoYou's submission prior to this meeting, all of BTS looked at Bang PD with confusion as to what she was talking about. He answered knowingly. "She made the EDM track you guys have been listening to on repeat for the past three days."
Eruptions of gasps simultaneously happened then. Jimin too had gasped before asking. "You composed that? Really?" Ever since he had first heard the track, he fell instantly in love and sometimes, his body naturally moved to its addicting melody. As such, he had been looking forward to meeting its composer. To him, it was such a blended and masterful track that he couldn't guess the composer's age. And now that she was here, he couldn't contain his enthusiasm.
J-Hope was the first to talk. "Ehh. You really composed that? You're so young, though."
"Right? Isn't she amazing?" Jimin interjected animatedly.
To Jimin's words, SoYou's cheeks instantly became red. Luckily, she had the mask on to hide it. She waved her hand out in embarrassment but realised it could be misleading. She quickly wrote on her notebook. "I am not that amazing. You are being too flattering, Jimin-nim.
And yes, I did compose it. I'm more used to writing ballads, but I really wanted to compose something for you guys." She showed them the notebook while looking down shyly, trying to avoid eye contact.
Jimin paused, staring at her.
H-huh? Nim? Why was she calling me nim? I don't like being overstated like that.
"Let's, uh...address each other a bit more comfortably. Just call me Jimin, SoYou-sshi."
SoYou beamed beneath her mask. "Then call me SoYou as well, Jimin." She showed on her notebook.
"SoYou, then." When Jimin smiled, SoYou felt her cheeks redden again. Though she loved all of BTS, Jimin was her ultimate bias, and she was ecstatic to be called so fondly by him and do the same. To her, being able to meet Jimin like this was actually pretty rare. Even though they worked in the same company, she would never normally interact directly with the boys since she was simply a production assistant. She usually watched them on screen like every other ARMY.
RM patted Jimin's shoulder then, indicating he wanted to speak. Jimin went silent to let him. "I am in agreement with Jiminie. I hope that we could all come to talk comfortably to each other eventually. But I would like to return to the main topic." SoYou nodded, straightening in her seat, slightly in awe of his professionalism as he continued. "I'm thankful you considered us when writing the track. It's beautiful and a real pleasure to meet you as well." RM rubbed his chin thoughtfully. "But if I could ask, why the mask, SoYou-sshi?"
Of course, RM was not the only one curious about it. Jimin wondered as well.
Maybe it was a concept for her? Like some secret agent.
SoYou expected to be asked this so she had also pre-written the answer in the notebook which she flipped to. "I want to keep my real life separate from my music. Therefore, I don't intend to talk or reveal what I look like."
Jimin tilted his head and pouted. He was definitely disappointed that she was creating this barrier, especially since he had so much he wanted to talk to her about--like ask how she was so good at composing or possibly getting her comments on his lyrics, even if there were none at the moment. He wanted to write and submit lyrics that'd make even the composer happy but the mask and notebook were in the way of being able to connect with her.
But if it'll make her uncomfortable, I will try to not force a conversation since I can easily overwhelm her with a tirade of questions and comments. She'd have trouble answering them all on her notebook.
SoYou didn't miss Jimin's change in expression. She chuckled a bit, guessing his thoughts accurately as she flipped to the next page with another pre-written message. "There's no need to worry. I am open to anything that you all want to ask. Please do feel free to voice out if you have any."
Jimin's eyes practically lit up then. "Really? Then, um...where do I even start? Can I ask you now?" As soon as she gave a slight nod, Jimin began. "Why did the drum rhythm change in the second chorus? It certainly grabs the attention of the listener but did you intend to have a dance break there? Or something else? Also, the bridge--"
"Jiminie." RM gripped Jimin's shoulder and pulled him back. Without realizing it, Jimin had gone on a tirade and leaned heavily on the conference table towards her. At RM's action, Jimin fell back into his chair. "Slow down a bit. She's not gonna leave anytime soon." RM teased.
"So don't go scaring her off, Jimin." Bang PD chimed in, inducing laughter in the room. Jimin blushed in embarrassment and intertwined his hands beneath the table, focusing on them, to avoid looking at SoYou. SoYou giggled as well and waved her hands, indicating he had not scared her.
Bang PD spoke. "Anyways, I just wanted to get you guys face to face today since she'll be working together with us from now on. But there's still tons of paperwork to handle, including finalizing her contract. For now, you boys go practice. Everyone else, please remain here."
"Yes, sir." All of BTS answered at the same time and filed out of the room. Before exiting, Jimin glanced back at SoYou and waved goodbye. When she waved back at him, he gave a small smile.
***
SoYou was left in the conference room with the production team and Bang PD who first spoke. "SoYou-sshi, I hope your first impression with the boys went well. They are our pride." When SoYou nodded quickly (and in agreement), Bang PD smiled. "I'm glad. Then, I'd like to get straight to the point. SoYou-sshi, we all here would like you to temporarily join the production team until BTS's next comeback at the end of year. You will be helping the boys write lyrics for your track and assist with their mixtapes."
SoYou was essentially a freelance composer and producer. The usual case when she worked for other entertainment companies was that she'd join their production team to let them or the artists themselves consult her on developing the track to its completed form. Bang PD's offer was not much different. Sometimes, she would get an offer to extend her contract until the release of the full album if she did well and contributed decently. Obviously, she agreed to Bang PD's offer without hesitation, shaking Bang PD's hand with determination.
I'll work extra extra extra hard. Because I want to talk with Jiminie more-- Uh...! Because I want to work with all of BTS... Y-yea...that.
Bang PD chuckled then, making SoYou look at him, a bit confused, as she settled back into her seat. "Please excuse me. I am just glad the offer went smoothly." He elaborated. "To be honest, after we all here were sure of choosing your track, we gave it to the boys prior to this meeting to let them try writing lyrics. This was the first time seeing all of them so concentrated that we knew it was the right choice. The boys will be glad to have you. And I personally want anyone able to compose with such passion on our team." The others in the room all nodded in agreement. "In addition, I discussed with Namjoonie beforehand about you. He actually mentioned he had favorited past songs you have composed and felt a good vibe that you would definitely click with the rest of the boys."
Kim Namjoon praised me?!
SoYou internally screamed. The entire day felt like a dream come true. First, she was able to converse with BTS and now, RM, someone she greatly admired as another composer, recognized her. It was close to becoming too overwhelming for her.
Bang PD just had to add more to that. "Also...we've never revealed this in public, but Namjoonie and Pdogg here actually did the Run remix from being influenced by one of your songs." SoYou's eyes widened at that, glancing at Pdogg seated next to Bang PD who nodded in acknowledgment. Bang PD continued. "Because of its good reviews, we continue to experiment with ballad bases in remixes. Hence, our choice for your track."
SoYou nearly jumped in joy in her seat, so she tightly squeezed her hands beneath the table to keep still.
Be professional, me...!
She kept her ecstatic smile beneath her mask as she formally signed the contract, officially joining Big Hit's production team. Once she shook hands with her new coworkers, she politely bowed and left the conference room. After she carefully checked that the hallway was empty, she started jumping around in joy while squealing gleefully.
***
After the boys had left the meeting earlier, they split in the hallway to go to their individual practice. Jimin headed to the practice room with V who grinned mischievously. "Hey, you surprised me, you know? You called her so fondly and attacked her with tons of questions. You're not usually that friendly or aggressive with strangers."
Jimin pouted a bit.
Taehyungie was right. I hope I didn't overwhelm her.
"I just want to learn as much as I can from her." Jimin admitted. "I want to be able to write lyrics as amazing as the rap line hyungs."
V chuckled and ruffled Jimin's hair. "How cute. A passionate Jiminie is cute." He teased lovingly.
V parted from Jimin at the practice room to head to the recording studio, giving Jimin some privacy. After Jimin had changed into a black t-shirt and grey workout pants, he stretched lightly.
The promotion period for Wings will soon come to an end, and BTS will get a week of vacation then. But there was no real dormant period for celebrities. For the next months, BTS will have the year-end performance, oversea performances, the rest of the Wings tour, and any special schedules in between. The members all assumed that the final song from SoYou's track would be in the next album after YNWA. Like always, their schedule was busy. Jimin didn't mind, though. Since their debut, it would be just like usual.
The intro for Lie began and Jimin danced--his body moving mechanically as he used the entire practice room like he was on the big stage. He closed his eyes and fell into a trance, allowing the music to take over his body and let his mind wander. Cheers from the crowd. A sea of lights, each of them filling BTS up with love and support every day. He could see and hear them all clearly.
ARMY has always been loyally there for BTS. He's heard of every achievement done by ARMY to support and promote BTS be it the record views on Youtube to their commitment to get them on the Billboard chart.
How can I show my thankfulness? Through my dance? But I wanted to touch their hearts with my voice and words as well. But...I was lacking in composing and I could never capture my feelings on paper like the other members.
Jimin's focus got broken for an instant, missing a beat, before naturally returning to the routine. He sighed as the song ended. It was always easy for his thoughts to deviate from his shortcomings, but he tried to manage it so that it wasn't obvious outwardly. However, recently, it's been affecting his practice which could show itself in the real performance.
That would be absolutely unacceptable. Jimin sighed again as he replayed the song from the beginning.
***
After exiting the conference room, SoYou had been touring the Big Hit office. Though she was their employee, there were some places she didn't know well, like the practice rooms and recording studio, since she had no business justification to visit them as the production assistant. Feeling slightly excited, she peeked into the practice room and held her breath at the sight before her.
Jimin was dancing to Lie. Like most ARMY, she knew the background and inspiration of his solo song from RM's vLive. When she watched it, she nearly cried at Jimin's pure emotions and became much more appreciative of the song, listening to it often to get an energy boost. And now Jimin was dancing to it live before her.
He's so mesmerizing and beautiful. Hmm...? But...
She couldn't help but stare in awe, but he seemed to be struggling. As if he was troubled by something...
That prompted her to write in her notebook. "Hello. Are you okay? You seem troubled." She knocked lightly on the door and waved when he turned to look at her.
Jimin had been so in the zone that he didn't know how long she had been there. He picked up his towel and wiped his accumulated sweat before giving a small smile. "Hey, there." He raised his brow when he read her notebook. "Do I appear troubled? I don't think anything's wrong?"
Jimin waited patiently as she wrote her response and showed him. "Your dance is beautiful, but I feel like you have something on your mind which makes some of your moves appear a bit troubled. Your facial expression is good but you have a slight frown on? I might be wrong though."
How did she catch all that just from watching me?
Jimin's eyes widened as he thought that. Like he was afraid of, his shortcomings were affecting his practice. If it was noticeable to her, surely the members and staffs would pick up on it soon. Jimin rubbed his temple and slumped in the chair, draping the towel over his head to hide his frown. "Am I that obvious...?" He spoke slowly and monotonously as if he was talking to himself rather than responding to SoYou. After a moment of silence, he sighed deeply. "I feel there's something lacking with myself. I love my members, but I can't help and think that I'm not doing all that I can for BTS. That's why I admire Monie-hyung so much. He's so talented, mature, witty, and kind. He produced nearly half the songs in our last album. Jin-hyung, Yoongi-hyung, Hobie-hyung, Taehyungie, and Jungkookie too. They're all great artists and just amazing people to be around. But I feel like every promotion, I'm getting pulled along by them--that I'm only following the beautiful path they laid out. And I hate that."
Jimin gasped and covered his mouth, embarrassed he had spoken his hidden inner thoughts to an acquaintance. Rather, he didn't understand why it was so easy to release it all to her. "S-sorry. Ignore all that, please. I shouldn't have complained to you." He shouldn't be giving a bad impression to their new composer. It may affect her impression on BTS as a whole.
SoYou watched with slight dread when Jimin averted his eyes from her. Slumped on his chair, he looked so small and vulnerable. Just how heavy were those terrible thoughts weighing on him? Since when did he feel like this--that he wasn't as important or contributing to BTS as the others?
I have to comfort him. I need to... Words... yes, I need to tell him clearly.
"No. No, you are not and don't be sorry. You have worked equally hard as the other members for everything, if not more. You perfect your dance and vocals at every chance and you always perform your very best. You care for everyone in BTS and you are always there for them whenever they needed someone." She breathed in before continuing with assertion. "You may feel like you're empty and lacking at times. But Jimin, you are not. I was amazed by your song, Lie. Knowing the story behind it, I wanted to hug you so badly and tell-- Oh, shit...!" Yumi quickly covered her mouth and stumbled back.
Just what are you doing, Yumi?!
She screamed internally and blushed through the mask. On the other hand, as she spoke, Jimin had been staring at her wide-eyed. After a moment, Jimin blinked in realization then that she just spoke. The SoYou that stubbornly chose to communicate through a notebook even with Bang PD just spoke.
A wide smile broke out on him. "You spoke just now!" He laughed enthusiastically. Since they first met in that conference room, Jimin had felt she was putting up a wall between herself and everyone else with that weird 'secret agent' persona. So even if it was unintentional, SoYou had spoken because she wanted to comfort and encourage him. "Thank you. Really, your words made me so happy."
"I'm...glad... But, uh... Can you keep it to yourself...? I don't want people to know, actually...about me...please." She whispered with a pleading tone.
Jimin nodded, pleased to know that though she's still stubborn on keeping that persona, she wasn't doing it to isolate herself. He took a chance then. Like he had told V, he wanted to learn as much from her as possible, so the first steps to do that were to get closer personally. "Anyways, Jin-hyung and I were planning to get dinner outside today. Would you like to join us?"
SoYou perked at the offer as her inner ARMY responded instantly. "Yes, I would love to--" She froze once she realized she had to remove her mask to eat. "Ah... I mean, I'd love to, but...this." She pointed to her face mask. If she was going to reveal herself on the first day, it would completely defeat the purpose of dressing up like this. SoYou's identity was strictly a secret no matter how much Yumi wanted to eat with her ultimate bias. So, she compromised. "But I can still go together. Just...I won't be eating."
Jimin smiled, glad that she was willing to come despite that weird persona taking precedence. "Alright! Then, we'll see you in 30 minutes, okay? I'll go change and shower quickly. Jin-hyung and I will meet you at the main lobby."
"30 minutes? Ah...okay! And, um-! Don't tell Jin-sshi about my voice, please..." When Jimin nodded, SoYou bowed and left the practice room.
She used that time to prepare. First, she took off her suit, exiting the washroom with a more casual look with just the white undershirt on though she kept the face mask and cap. The production area in the Big Hit office was on the bottom floor and since it was after working hours, it was empty. She visited her desk quickly to drop off her suit and grabbed some snacks stored in the drawers. Finishing them quickly, she waited excitedly for the boys in the main lobby.
-End of Chapter-
<Word count: 4656 words>