Chapter One: Hooked.
"Did you sleep with her?" I ask, looking out my bedroom window. Although my back is turned to him, I hear my boyfriend shift his weight from foot to foot before he starts to walk towards me. "Don't walk. Just talk," I snap, my voice hard and firm.
He stops walking.
"Cupcake-"
"No pet names, either," I quietly order.
There is a short silence and I can feel my heart beat bouncing against my chest.
"Just tell me what happened."
"…Elle, I just…after that fight last night, I wasn't thinking straight and…not to sound like a girl or anything, but she tried to make me feel better and she…well, she made me feel wanted…needed." I hear him shift from foot to foot again, a nervous habit. "We…well, we hooked up and we uhh…I almost slept with her. I don't know what I was thinking. I didn't sleep with her and left as soon as I realized…I went back to my room. I spent the night there and came here as soon as I found the guts to face you."
"How far did you get?" I ask, my voice hard.
"Elle-"
"How far?"
"…Pretty far. We didn't go all the way…but we were moving faster than we were thinking…we did mostly everything else," he admits, his voice quiet and low.
I swallow and turn around to face him.
He stands with his hands in his loose but expensive jean pockets. He doesn't have much visible muscle; the only proof that he is at all athletic rests upon his shirt-covered six-pack that he works so hard to maintain. I always liked the fact that, to the outside world, he looks like an ordinary college student while he actually developed an impressively toned body. Like a silly teenage girl, I felt like it was a secret about him that only I would ever see and appreciate.
Now, I would have to share the secret with Anna Lynn.
Brett was always running his hands back through his light blond hair and, as a result, it always seemed as if he had combed it back that way. His dark green eyes, so different from my brown eyes, were what originally attracted me to him, and his smile…well, his smile is what really got to me five years ago.
"Elle? Elle! Are you listening to me?" I tore my eyes away from the back of the blond kid's head and turned to face the group of girls sitting on the steps with me.
My best friend's dark eyes shined in amusement while a few senior girls also watched me curiously. Taylor, was the only freshman sitting on the steps with us and she had small satisfied smiles on her face.
"Sorry, Britney. What's up?" I asked my best friend. She didn't respond and instead just watched me. "What?" I snapped after a moment or two.
"Why are you staring at Nicolette?" she asked, referring to Nicolette Joyce-Walton, Taylor's best friend and girl who Brett was currently speaking to.
"She's not staring at Nicolette," Taylor giddily piped up, "she's staring at Brett."
"The cute nerd?" One of the sophomore girls giggled.
"Brett! So that's his name!" I spoke and everyone let out a laugh as Britney shifted her position on the school steps.
"You're such a bitch, Giselle."
I rolled my eyes, completely ignoring Britney's teasing words. How was I supposed to know Brett's name? I didn't even know he existed until he transferred into my Junior year English class a few weeks ago.
"Yeah sure, whatever. Do you know anything else about him?" I asked.
Much to my surprise, it was my little sister who spoke up.
"He's a cross-country runner. A really good runner too…the rumor is that after his mom walked out on them, his dad became obsessed with two things: work and Brett’s success. Umm…other than that though, he's a huge nerd. He's always reading and he has the dorkiest glasses I've ever seen…his dad makes him wear contacts, though."
Everyone sent the same questioning glance towards my little sister, and I couldn't help but ask how she knew anything about Brett.
"His dad works with Frank," she explained, referring to Nicolette's stepfather, the Governor of our state. "He's Frank's personal advisor."
I watched Brett and Nicolette turned away from each other. Brett turned to his other friends and Nicolette hurried to the stairs where the seven of us were sitting and smiled pleasantly at us.
Two senior girls, two junior girls, two sophomore girls, and two freshman girls. Every year, the junior girls would move to take the place of the seniors, the sophomores would take the place of the juniors, the freshman would take the place of the sophomores and two new freshmen were chosen as the newest additions to the clique. It was a long standing tradition and every year the small group of eight girls would be ranked at the top of the social ladder. Being in the group was the greatest social privilege known to our school and everybody knew it.
"In other words," I started, my back straightening as I watched Brett make his way towards the main school building. "He's loaded, too, huh?"
"Duh."
I ignored Taylor's sass and watched as Brett neared me. He started to climb the steps and when he passed me, his green eyes ventured to meet my brown ones. He hesitated…and sent me a smile.
From that moment, I was hooked.
I mentally shake my head as I take a moment to reminisce.
Brett Connors never had the muscle or desire to be the football captain. He didn't have the confidence to be the hottest guy in school, he was too shy to be the most popular, and he was too nice to be the bad-boy.
In high school, he was known for a few other things. He was the second richest kid in the school, after Nicolette, for one. He was a cross-country star, for another -ranked number three in the country. Also, during the middle of his Junior year, he started exclusively dating the Assistant Cheer Captain and the eventual Cheer Captain, who was yours truly. Finally, he was known for his life-long friendship with the sweetest girl in the school.
Anna Lynn Darling. Even her name was as sweet as apple pie. With her strawberry blonde hair and bright brown eyes sitting atop her 5'2" figure, she was easily the cutest girl in school. She had a smile that could brighten anyone's day and never had a bad thing to say about anyone. She'd been Brett's best friend since the first grade and Nicolette was positive that Anna had been in love with him since middle school.
A couple of times I breached the topic with Brett only to come up against complete denial and eventual frustration on his part. As time went on, I ignored my worries and the topic came up less and less, but when I couldn't hold back and the topic did come up, his response was always the same:
"She doesn't feel that way about me…but even if, in some alternate universe, she did, I love you, not her. Got that?"
I kept my mouth shut when I realized she'd be attending the same college as Brett and I. I didn't say a word when I heard she joined the sister Sorority to Brett's Fraternity while I opted to join a Sorority that my mother had been a part of. I even stopped voicing my discomfort at feeling out of place when I was around the two of them…they had more inside jokes than any one else I knew.
Now, I realize, I probably shouldn't have kept silent about anything.
"I'm not surprised," I finally say, my voice forcefully light but wavering. "Not really."
Brett's upset facial expression surprises me by dropping a bit more and he steps towards me, his 6'6" towering over my 5"10 figure. With a frown, I take a moment to reminisce over one of our inside jokes…how we are always the tallest people in the room.
I think about Anna's 5'2" figure and feel my frown deepen. How did that even work with her? She was too small…
I cringe and shake my head, stepping away from Brett and dodging under his arm to grab my duffel bag from the side of the room.
"It's eight o'clock…I have late cheer practice," I tell him, a numb feeling rushing through my body. I try to leave and he grabs my arm.
"Giselle-"
"Stop, Brett!" I cry, pulling my arm from his hand. "You know I can't afford to miss practice!"
Unlike Brett and Nicolette, my family doesn't have money pouring out of its ears. I received a cheerleading scholarship in order to attend the university and, since my sophomore year last year, have been waitress at a local diner to earn some extra cash.
I immediately start to walk out of my room.
"Giselle, just-"
I slam the door shut behind me.
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"What about you, Giselle?" I open my eyes and straighten my back from my position on the gymnasium floor. The rest of the university's nationally ranked cheer squad is standing around, their arms crossed and their eyes on me.
"I'm sorry," I speak up, "what were we talking about?" A few of the girls laugh and I stick my tongue out at them. "Sorry, I'm a little distracted today…"
"Thinking about Brett?" One of the girls teases. I swallow and force a smile. Yes, I was thinking about him but not for the reasons they’re thinking.
"We were inviting you to come to a late movie with us, but you probably want to go spend time with your boyfriend-"
"No, I'll come," I cut in, catching everyone by surprise. Between classes, homework, working, and cheer practice, I hardly had time for anything else so it was no secret that I liked to spend almost all my spare time with Brett.
Obviously, I think to myself as we all walk out of the gymnasium and start the short walk to the movie theater, I’ll have to change that.
"Hey, Sara!" I call and a tall black-haired girl glances back at me before she stops walking and waits for me to catch up. We trail behind everyone and her light eyes blaze with curiosity, contrasting with her dark skin.
"Yes, darling Elle? Are you going to tell me what's wrong?" she asks and I raise my eyebrows in surprise. She scoffs. "Please. I could feel your negative vibes all through practice…it was totally bringing me down. I was considering using my power as your cheer captain to force you to come to this movie night with us, because if you brought all that negativity back to the house…well, we have enough elitist-bitchy attitudes within our sorority to deal with, and your negativity might have been the tipping point."
I was going to argue but realize I don't have the energy. Plus, she's right. Our sorority is known for being one of the hardest to get into, and that means that most of the people who are accepted have a bit of a supercilious attitude.
"Nothing's wrong," I tell her. Sara raises an eyebrow. "Really! I mean, something is wrong, but it's not directly related to me. You see, it's Britney," I spoke, referring to my best friend. Although Britney didn't attend the same university as I did, she visited often enough so all of my sorority sisters knew who she was.
"Really?" she asks, disbelief obvious in her voice. "Okay, tell me what's wrong with Britney," she drawls, an amused expression on her face.
I swallow and try to look as concerned as possible.
"Well, Vince, her boyfriend, cheated on her. With his best female friend. And now she doesn't know what to do."
Sara's amused expression drops to one of someone pleasantly surprised.
"Oh? Well, now I know you're telling the truth. Brett wouldn't cheat on you, he's so in love with you it's criminal," she speaks flippantly, an airy laugh vibrating from her vocal cords.
I swallow and suddenly realize I may start crying. I feel as though someone is taking sandpaper to my throat and I struggle not to sniffle or clear my throat and draw attention to myself in the darkness.
"So," Sara continues, oblivious to my distress as we follow our teammates in the dark. "I'm guessing she hasn't broken up with him yet, seeing as how she doesn't know what to do, right?" She doesn't wait for a response. "Well, first things first: he shouldn't have a female best friend, other than her," she tells me, her voice holding a note of finality. "Everyone knows a guy and girl can't be best friends without some sort of sexual attraction."
Obviously, I bitterly think with a nod of my head.
"So here's what she has to do to fix it: she has to give him an ultimatum."
I immediately frown.
"Like, choose between her and the best friend?"
Sara nods.
"Sara, this happens in books and movies all the time…it never ends well! When the boyfriend has to choose between the girlfriend and the best friend, the boyfriend always chooses the best friend. Always."
"That's because the best friend and the boyfriend were always destined to be together," Sara spoke, as if talking to a small child. I looked at her incredulously.
"But you just said-"
"Gisele Laven, are you really going to repeat my own words back to me? I know what I said," Sara replies as we walk into the theater.
We don't say another word to each other until our tickets are bought and we’re sitting with the rest of the squad in the theater.
"But you-" I start up again, only to be interrupted once more.
"Giselle, you're a smart girl. I told you that Britney should give her boyfriend the ultimatum, did I not?" I nod.
"But he's going to choose the best friend! Number one: he cheated on Britney with the best friend, and number two: the best friend is always picked over the girlfriend!"
"And that's my point!" Sara cries, incredulously. "Because after acting like a complete jerk and screwing everything up before the girlfriend gives the ultimatum, then the girlfriend has every right to make him choose…and frankly, if the boyfriend doesn't pick the girlfriend, then the girlfriend deserves so much better."
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When I wake up the next morning, I take a moment to just look up at the white ceiling. My dreams fade from my head and are instead replaced with memories of yesterday’s events: my boyfriend of four years admitted to cheating on me with his best friend of fourteen years. Also, my cheer captain convinced me that I had the right to give my boyfriend an ultimatum…but did I want to take that right and chance my relationship with the blond boy?
With a groan, I turn on my side only to see my roommate sitting up in her bed with her computer in her lap.
My sorority sister's eyes drift over from her computer screen to my face and she raises an eyebrow.
"Well hello there, sleeping beauty," she teases and I groan again, throwing an arm over my forehead.
"What time is it?" I ask, my voice raspy and my mind sluggish.
"Almost nine. You got in late last night," she muses. I don't reply. "Normally I wouldn't comment, but you see…there was a certain male specimen who was laying on your bed and looking fine for hours on end. He didn't even say anything…he just rested there staring at the ceiling like a zombie. I eventually had to kick him out because I wanted to go to bed and felt awkward with him just chilling in the room with me…"
I laugh lightly and shake my head.
"I went to a movie with the rest of the squad," I inform her. "I simply forgot to tell Brett."
She raises an eyebrow and turns back to her computer screen.
"Oh? What movie?" She asks.
"Ken Rigby's Last Chance," I recite and my roommate grins.
"Oh! I want to see that…is that the one with Dean Parker?" she questions, referring to a big time model who recently decided to try his luck with acting.
"Yes. Surprisingly, he did a fairly good job. He actually has some note-worthy acting chops."
My roommate scoffs.
"I don't care about his acting. I just want to stare at his body for a good hour and thirty minutes," she confesses. I laugh and she shoots me a look. "You realize that he's going to marry me one day, right?"
I smirk.
"Does he know this? Because I read in People Magazine that he's back with his college sweetheart…and from the paparazzi picture they had accompanying the article, she's very cute."
My roommate frowns and looked honestly disappointed in the news, so I decide to take pity on her.
"He has a few shirtless scenes in the movie," I inform her and watch in amusement as her face lights up before she promptly closes her computer and moves to get off of her bed.
"The movies at the local theater all start every hour, right?" she asks and I nod. She glances at her watch. "If I shower now, I should still have time to pick up Cindy from work and make the eleven o'clock showing. Alright shirtless Dean Parker, prepare to dazzle me, cute girlfriend be damned!"
I watch my roommate skipped out of the room, waving to me on her way out. I glance at the dark curtains blocking the sunlight from entering the room before I pull the covers up to my chin and close my eyes again.
When in doubt about facing the day, do whatever you can to avoid it.
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CRASH
I gasp and sit up when I hear the loud crash and star in bewilderment at the blond man standing in my room. He is quietly swearing as he stares at the books falling from the top shelf on my desk.
I shake my head and start to climb out of bed to fix-
"No, Giselle. I've got it…you can stay in bed," Brett quickly speaks, his hands moving to place all the books and little trinkets back to their original spaces. I watch in silence as he works and, after he fixes everything, he leans down behind the desk and my eyes widen as I observe the large vase of…beautiful yellow flowers.
Brett quietly places the vase on the side of my desk, away from everything else, and pushes and pulls a few flowers to fix the flawless arrangement.
When he finishes, he steps away and turns to look at me. I don't look at him, instead keeping my eyes on the flowers.
"You know I just want you to be happy," he starts, quietly. Nervously. "And I know you like flowers. I…you know I'm allergic to pollen and don't know anything about flowers, but I went into a flower shop and tried to find the prettiest, brightest flower I could find and bought a bunch of them," he quietly rambles. "It was brutal. My eyes were itching and I just felt uncomfortable, but I didn't want someone else to pick out the flowers for you."
I don't respond and just kept my eyes on the flowers.
"…You hate them, don't you, that's why you're not saying anything," Brett speaks, his voice droopy and panicky.
I surprise myself when I shake my head.
"I don't hate them, Brett." My eyes move to look into his. "I just don't know what you want me to say," I reply, honestly. Brett moves quietly and quickly to my bed, sitting on the side near my head. He twists his body so he can face me before he props the side of his leg onto the bed so he can put a little more weight on the bed.
My heartbeat picks up and I itch to touch my boyfriend. I feel tears prickle my eyes as I lay back down on my side and move towards the wall, a clear sign telling him it is okay to lay down next to me on the bed. He does just that. I take a deep breath as I stare at Brett's chest.
"So," I finally manage to whisper, my voice becoming raspier as I feel my tear ducts about to burst, "is this the end?"
His arm comes in and swoops around me, bringing me closer to him as he buries his face in my hair.
"Oh, God please no, Giselle. Never. I'm never going to leaving you. I'm sorry, Elle. God, I'm so sorry," he whispers.
I start to cry.
I sniff as tears began to fall from my eyes and into Brett's neck as he holds me tight to him.
"I hate what you did," I whisper to him, the pressure behind my eyes directing more tears to escape.
I feel Brett swallow.
"I hate it, too, Elle. I'm so sorry…I love you and I'm sorry," he admits. "I've never felt so guilty about anything. It's literally clawing at my stomach and I just…I screwed up. I've never screwed up so badly in my life. God, I'm so sorry…I'll do anything you want. I'm going to make this up to you today, tomorrow, every day…Giselle, I'm so sorry."
I cry a little harder and Brett pulls me a little closer as he continues to whisper sweet apologies into my ear.
When I started dating Brett during my junior year of high school, did I expect us to be at this point in four years? Me crying as he comforted me because he cheated on me with Anna Lynn Darling?
I start to cry harder when I realize the answer: no, because I always secretly suspected it would happen a little sooner.
They had been friends too long for there to not be any sexual tension. They were too comfortable around each other for one to not be in love with the other. There was too much chemistry between the two to never act upon it.
So why did I ever originally agree to date Brett Connors?
Well, because of his smile.
And why did I stay with him after a few months went by?
Well, because I genuinely liked him and I had never had such a caring boyfriend.
And why did I stay with him after a year went by?
Well, because I loved him.
And that's why I stayed with him after the second year and the third year and the fourth year…and that's why I'm staying with him now.
Brett Connors somehow wormed his way into my heart during my junior year of high school and has remained there ever sense. The idea of throwing away four years with a man I still love because the inevitable happened makes my stomach churn as I fist Brett's blue button-down shirt.
However, just because I love him too much to plainly throw away what we have, does not mean I'm over what happened. It just means that I'm taking Sara's advice.
I may not want to break up with him, but I'm giving him the chance to. In the end, he has to break things off with somebody and I'm going to make him choose what he ends: his friendship with Anna or his relationship with me.
I just hope to God that he loves me enough to see that even though I haven't known him for fourteen years, I still may just be worth it.
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Hopefully you enjoyed it! It's only three parts long :)