(A/N) so cute i cry :') This is what I picture Louis looking like, feel free to use your own imagination but remember he's fetus.
Harry woke up and got ready early, going down the stairs without a slip and he didn't even use the rails. He was immediately greeted by Anne and the sweet aroma of pancakes and syrup. Yum. He hopped down the last step and skipped to his seat at the kitchen island.
He was soon at the bus stop after eating three delicious pancakes and decided in that moment that today was going to be a good day. He was writing for the paper, he had his favorite breakfast, he felt pretty and Louis who was sitting at the bench, looking tan, his hair in a quiff, was serving serious eye-candy, so far he was in an excellent mood, even Niall was raising an eyebrow at his sudden chirpiness.
They got to school, and the kids loaded off the bus and he waved goodbye to Sarah after having a fruitful conversation about hair extensions- don't ask. He stepped through the door to find five pounds on the ground he smiled and picked it up, looking at it and tilting it ever so slightly to watch the light bouncing off it perfectly. He didn't plan on keeping it but he knew what he was going to do with it. He tucked it into his back pocket triumphantly, already feeling lucky, and continued to walk to Niall's locker.
The day was going by smoothly and he turned into Health class, the cold air he was always met with whenever he entered the classroom prickled his throat and he went to his seat. Once everyone was seated, Ms. Miller passed out their worksheets and said to work with a partner. She said it so slowly, her eyes looked heavy, Harry felt bad for her. She always seemed so unhappy, but Harry also talked slow, and he got tired too sometimes, so he decided not to judge. He turned his head to the person next to him to be met with a new face, and a handsome one at that. The boy in front of him had darker skin with plump lips, black hair, and hazel eyes. His looks didn't really faze Harry as much, because his feelings already belonged to someone else, but he wasn't complaining. He just hoped that the boy was nice, and preferably not a homophobic prick like others.
"Erm-do you want to be partners?" the boy asked.
"Yeah sure," Harry replied scooting his desk closer to his.
They were about halfway done with the work when he felt it. The feeling of eyes staring, he knew exactly who they belonged to. He turned to the opposite side of the room to see Louis with his eyes squinted but not at him anymore, they were focused on Alex, which Harry learned was the other boy's name. If Harry didn't know any better he would say Louis looked almost jealous. From the way his eyes focused in on the poor boy, as if he wanted to kill him and how you could see the frown itching its way onto to Louis' mouth. But no, Harry did know better and he knew Louis wouldn't be jealous. Why would he? He tried not to think anything of it or get his hopes up every time he caught Louis glancing over, but he can't deny that his heart was beating significantly faster by the end of the class.
They gathered their things as the bell rung and Harry left right after saying goodbye to Alex, who apparently was a dance major in YPAS, one of the few males in that part unfortunately. He went along with his day as usual, but for some reason this day felt different. As if people were nicer today, and he even felt like he understood what Ms. Lopez was saying in Spanish class, he smiled thinking about how he was just having a good day.
Maybe Stan won't bother him as much today, or better yet Mr. Jenson will give them a new seating chart so he doesn't have to sit directly in front of the guy who taunts him every day. But then again, that would mean he would be farther away from January and Louis, and that's two losses for only one gain.
Harry continued weighing out the pros and cons of asking Mr. Jenson if he could switch seats, on one hand, he would be farther away from Stan, but on the other Stan would know that Harry asked to move which would trigger him even more. Before he knew it, he was in front of the Mr. Jenson's doorway. He stepped in and took his seat next to Jan. They exchanged smiles and watched as Louis and the rest of his friends, including Stan, walked through the door.
Now that Harry could see Louis fully standing up, he saw wearing a tight, white shirt along with gray sweatpants and Harry may or may not have a been hypnotized by the tiny bulge showing until he sat down. He blushed a light pink once he realized he might have been staring and sighed in relief knowing no one noticed. The class started, and he was genuinely happy that this was the first completely good day since school started and he knew it must've been showing when January tapped his elbow smiling with one eyebrow raised.
"What's got you all smiley today?" she asked, looking to Mr. Jenson first then seeing he was on his phone she turned back to him.
"Nothing, just having a good day s'all."
They continued with their work until the bell rang, Harry took his time gathering his things and collected his paper to turn in seeing Louis walk past quickly and turn out the door. After laying it gently on Mr. Jenson's desk he stepped out into the hallway happily. He guesses it was too happy. Too lucky. Too good. Unfortunatley, the feeling of being slammed into the locker was all too familiar. Harry almost rolled his eyes, almost. Probably the feeling of fear was too overwhelming.
"Hey cockbreath. I saw you checking out my friend's junk, you should know you're fucking disgusting," Stan, of course, sneered and spit at Harry's feet, about to turn away. Harry doesn't know why he did what he was about to do. Maybe it was just an impulsive burst of confidence, maybe the fact he was having a good day, maybe the feeling of the five pounds in his back pocket that he considered lucky, maybe he simply had a death wish.
"Well, I'm flattered you've been watching me, Stanley, but maybe next time try to be less stalker-ish," Harry said, immediately cursing himself and his cheekiness. He watched as Stan whipped back around, shooting daggers with his eyes.
Before Harry knew it, he was already pinned back against the lockers again. Really Stan, it's like you don't have any other fighting moves. Oh my gosh Harry shut up! Harry's thoughts drowned out the rest of the noise, all except the close to hissing that came out of Stan's mouth.
"What did you just say faggot?" he said through gritted teeth, his eyes suddenly moving to Harry's hands, then his nails, a wide sickening smile spread across his face, "Well, well, well what do we have here? I knew you were gay but you want to be a girl too?" His grip on Harry's wrist got tighter, he raised it up higher, as if he was trying to show everyone the polish-coated nails, causing the smaller boy to wince. With the last bit of confidence he didn't know he had, Harry uttered out the words he had been wanting to say for a long time.
"No, sorry Stan but I don't want to be a girl, and even if I was, I still wouldn't date you, so would you kindly stop trying and leave me the fuck alone?" He just couldn't help himself could he? As soon as the words spilled out, Harry was met with the most painful feeling of a fist colliding with his stomach. The wind was knocked out of him and he crumpled to the ground.
"What the fuck did you say to me?"
"Nothing- nothing," Harry said between breaths.
"That's what I thought," Stan said with a laugh.
Harry thought he was done, so he rolled over only to be met with a powerful kick to the back. Keep in mind Stan is a football player. "Faggot" was all he heard and then silence. He didn't cry. He wouldn't cry. He wouldn't give Stan that satisfaction.
He got up after a few minutes of sitting in the empty hallway, his back really hurt, he could already envision the bruises forming. He picked up his stuff and instead of going to Study Hall, he went to the library. He didn't feel like facing Louis and he just wanted to find some peace and quiet.
He entered the giant room and plopped into one of the bean bags behind one of the many shelves, hopping it would hurt less than the wooden chairs that were also provided. As per usual, Ms. Brickets, the librarian wasn't there so Harry was alone. He got out his book and his homework as well as earbuds and placed them all neatly in front of him, he needed anything to distract him from thinking about the events that just took place. He didn't want to think about it, he wanted to pretend it never happened, and music was just what would do the trick. He was about to put in his earbuds in when he heard a pair of voices getting nearer to where he sat.
"El, I'm just ehm- really not in the mood," a soft, raspy voice spoke. Harry's eyes widened as he recognized it immediately. Louis.
"Ugh! You're never in the fucking mood!" a girl whined, Harry could hear the pout in her voice. He slowly peered over the corner of the bookshelf to see Louis sitting in one of the wooden chairs at a table in the library's center and Eleanor standing in front of him. He put a hand over his mouth to keep him from gasping or panicking.
"No, I-I'm ehm- just not feeling very well? Ya know, a bit lightheaded."
"Aww, baby why didn't you just tell me you were sick," she sighed and smiled, "I'm going to my Study Hall, and I think you deserve a little get well present. Text me at eleven." She winked seductively and kissed his cheek before turning around and exiting. Harry rolled his eyes but still didn't make a sound.
His day was just getting worse, now he heard Louis was sick, he probably wasn't even going to show up to tutoring today. This day was shit, but Harry was going to stay strong. Once he saw Louis leave as well, he plugged in his earbuds and started up the playlist 'Sad Green Day songs' that Harry made specifically for times like these. So he let I'm Still Breathing play as he finished up the work due the nest day.
At least homework was good for distraction because Harry managed to pretend like nothing happened so far. The bell rang and he gathered his stuff and he stopped by Mrs. Moore's room telling her that he had been in the library and that he was sorry he forgot to get a note, and because she loved him, as all teachers do, she believed him marked him present for Study Hall.
After that, he ran down the staircase and went outside the school, going to his bus. He got to his seat, sitting in the window-seat this time, and pressed resume on his playlist, letting the sound of 21 guns blare through the ear buds. Sarah asked if he was okay, and he simply responded with a smile and a nod and apparently she got the hint that he didn't want to be bothered because she didn't try to strike up a random conversation like she always did.
Harry walked up the hill and got to his house, and the second he entered he got a text message from his mom saying she was going to be working late, and that she left him money to order pizza. He decided he was hungry and he knew it would take a while for it to come so he dialed the number and ordered one large cheese pizza. As soon as the tone that signaled that the other line hung up, something inside him snapped and he ran up the stairs, into his room and slammed the door.
He got out his miniature speaker and blasted his playlist, but honestly, it just made him more sad. He lied down on his bed staring up at the ceiling and felt the tears roll down his cheeks. He was angry at himself for being a wimp, but he just didn't feel like holding it in anymore.
He wishes people weren't so judgmental. He wishes everybody loved everybody. He wished a lot of things, he even wished he didn't wish so much, because that would make things a lot easier. He swung his legs over the side of the bed and slowly got up, wincing at the pain that shot through back.
He trudged over to the big mirror against his wall and lifted up his shirt, grimacing at the bruises on his stomach, going right along the faint outline of his abs. He turned around to a point where he could see his back and it looked even worse. So he just cried even harder.
He ran his hands over his face, which he usually tried to avoid doing, but he didn't care at the moment. Looking in front of the mirror he rubbed his eyes when he caught sight of it. The source of all his problems, if he only was thinking straight the previous night, none of this would've happened. At least that's what he was convincing himself of when he grabbed the nail polish remover and a couple of cotton balls and started to rub the nail polish away, with only a few tears landing on his hand.
Once it was all gone, he felt ugly again, but at least he wouldn't get teased about it again. He was so caught up in the music blaring and the nail polish, he had completely forgotten about the pizza man that was delivering his food. He heard the knock at the door and scrambled to grab the money and run downstairs, he didn't to bother making himself look presentable for the guy who was just going to hand him pizza, take his money and go.
I guess you could say Harry was more than shocked to open the door, ready to hand over his money and not see the pizza man, but Louis Tomlinson in his doorway.
"Oh- ehm, sorry I was expecting pizza," Harry kept his head down hoping Louis wouldn't see his red and puffy eyes or his tear-stained cheeks, but that was the first thing he noticed. The second thing Louis noticed as he stepped into the house was Harry's plain, unpainted nails, which he had been noticing throughout health class. And the last thing Louis noticed was the loud playing of his favorite band coursing through the entire house, he had forgotten he and Harry listened to the same music as kids.
He adjusted the back pack on his shoulders and cleared his throat before speaking softly, "It's okay, do you want to go upstairs?"
"Sure."
They went up to Harry's bedroom which was the loudest because that's where the source of the music was coming from. Harry walked up to the speaker and turned the volume down, so then Wake Me Up When September Ends only lightly played in the background. He then grabbed his backpack from the corner and sat in the beanbag as Louis did the same. It was quiet for one second too long until Louis broke the ice.
"Harry, what's wrong?"
"Nothing is wrong Louis." He wanted to yell at him. He wanted to ask him why he cared since he hadn't for the past four years.
"Harry," the other boy spoke more sternly now, "what's wrong?"
"People are mean. That's what's wrong," Harry snapped, then regretted it. He didn't want to sound harsh, Louis was only asking to help him.
"Will you tell me what happened?" both boys were surprised by how softly Louis was speaking.
"I don't know if that's a good idea," Harry responded but when Louis let out a huff he sighed in defeat, "I don't like it that there are certain things that certain genders can't do, and I painted my nails, which some people didn't like."
"Who's 'some people'?" Louis suddenly felt defensive of the other boy, just like he did when they were kids. His eyebrows scrunched together, waiting for Harry to answer.
"Stan."
"Oh."
"Yeah."
Louis' eyes darted around the room until he found what he was looking for.
"Come on," Louis grabbed Harry's hand ignoring the tingles he felt as soon as they touched and pulled him towards the little table a few feet away. They sat on either side and Louis took the nail polish bottle in one hand, and Harry's hand in the other.
"Lou what are you doing?" Harry questioned, Louis's heart fluttered a little at the nickname which he also ignored. He just shushed him and placed Harry's hand down then unscrewing the cap. He scraped the excess on the sides before painting Harry's first finger, then the second, then the third.
He continued all the while admiring Harry's fingers. They were long and slender, Louis noticed and mentally smacked himself for the dirty thoughts that were making their way into his mind, but still he kept comparing it to Eleanor's thinking how Harry's were better. They were soft, but they were stronger and Louis liked that. He finished, but before he put the cap back on the bottle, he painted his own pinky.
"You're very good at that," Harry spoke, holding his hands up inspecting the work.
"Yeah, I have sisters so I guess practice makes perfect," he said and smiled.
"Louis why are you being nice to me?" Harry asked, his eyes looked sad again and the words felt like a punch in the gut to Louis. He decided he was going to be honest for the first time, and try not to be a dick.
"Because Harry, you don't deserve that shit." He sighed at the words, they were long overdue, and Harry shouldn't have accepted them, but he was too forgving, "so--- pre-cal?"
"Yeah," Harry said smiling and walking back over to the beanbags and getting out his homework.
They worked on it the whole time and Harry thought that for the first time, Louis was actually understanding. Probably because for the first time, Louis was actually listening to what Harry was saying.
By the end of it, both of them could say they had a successful tutoring session, even if it wasn't the best that Harry thought it could be. The pizza came and they ate while looking over the work until Louis had to go. He headed to the door, but before he turned to leave he stopped and held out his phone.
"I should probably have your number, ya know, so there's no more surprise visits or anything like that anymore," Louis said after Harry looked at his phone confusedly.
"Oh- right yeah of course." He entered the number and then said good bye, shutting the door after wards. So it turned out the day was good after all.
When Louis went home it was late and he went straight upstairs, changing and brushing his teeth before getting under the covers. He was watching Netflix on his phone, when he got a notification from Eleanor on snapchat. He clicked on it, he had nothing better to do and she did say she was going to text.
Eleanor Calder: Hey Baby you feeling better?? 😉
He hated when she called him that, they weren't dating or anything and plus he was not a baby. He was big and dominant, he liked having the control. He rolled his eyes and typed back.
Louis Tomlinson: I'm feeling about the same. Also remember, it's just Louis.
Eleanor Calder: Oh- okay daddy 😉 😉
He grimaced, she just could not take the hint could she. Plus she called him daddy, which he did not appreciate. He didn't mind that kink, in fact he thought it was kinda hot, but when she said it—it was just gross.
Eleanor Calder: Anyways... I've got a get well surprise for you....
She sent him a picture and he wondered what it could be. That was nice of her to thi- OHMYGODOHMYGODOHMYGOD IT WAS HER VAGINA. Louis started to panic thinking about what he should do. He had covered his eyes with his hand and he made the stupid mistake of peeking through his fingers and saw it again. Oh! The horror! What the fuck is that??! His thoughts were screaming, why are there so many and oh my god. There's...oh no I'm gonna--.
He ran to the bathroom connected to his room and started to puke. The second he stopped, he thought about it and he started again. This was bad, this was so bad. Why the fuck was Louis so grossed out? He should like vagina—but he just wasn't turned on in the slightest.
That was his first time seeing one, and he knows he told Stan that he ate a girl out once, but he was lying. He was a virgin and he was glad about it. Sex just seemed so unappealing. Stan talked about it a lot, doing it with girls, and none of that seemed pleasant to Louis. He sighed and washed his mouth out, brushing his teeth again.
He got back in bed and shut his eyes trying to erase that picture from his memory. Finally he fell asleep to the thought of Harry and how he hated how much he loved that he made the boy smile earlier, making his dimples pop. He needed to stay away from the boy, or else Stan might unfriend him, or he might lose all the popularity he had worked so hard to gain the past four years. When the sixth grade started there was a reason he abandoned Harry and he didn't need those thoughts—or those memories circulating again.
It wasn't easy though because his mind just didn't seem to get the hint and kept drifting back to Harry. His hands and his eyes and his lips. He also thought about how Harry must not like vagina either, but Louis did like vagina obviously, and Louis was straight obviously, so it was different.
Obviously.
Heeyyyooooo! Its ya girl comin at ya with an update that no one asked for. But it's here anyways! 😊 YYAAYY anyway this chapter is a bit over 3.6k words so im proud of myself yay for progression but now this was the last chapter that I've had ready before the time to update, they've all caught up to me nooo. Anygays tell me your thoughts in comments and I love you all to pieces <3, Ten