Taehyung had been feeling ill lately. He didn't know if it was from overworking or that his immune system just blatantly decided to fail him at the most dire of times in BTS' schedule but he was definitely not doing it on purpose. He'd been eating properly (despite his loss of appetite), sleeping just as much as the rest did (which really wasn't much considering the fact that all of them were busy preparing for their upcoming concert and were too jittery to be sleeping soundly after rehearsals) and drinking plenty of water so falling ill was seriously a wonder to Taehyung. He was taking extra care of himself, even going so far as doubling his vitamin intakes and yet he could still feel himself getting sicker each day.
If his efforts to stay healthy were any effective though, at least he hadn't caught a fever yet. But even that didn't feel so far. He could literally feel his temperature crawling dangerously close to be deemed feverish. And he was proven correct because two days of extreme pounding in his head and barely bearable muscle aches later, he felt ridiculously more feeble than before.
When he woke up the next morning, the first thing he noticed was that he was sweating rather excessively although he was freezing cold. He could literally feel his hot breath against his skin and immediately, he knew he was screwed.
Resisting the urge to groan in pain and risking waking up Jimin and Hoseok when they were obviously dead to the world, he reached for his phone, sitting innocently on top of his bedside drawer. He unlocked it and squinted through the light coming from the screen to see the time; 5 am, an ungodly hour to be awake given his... condition.
Normally, Seokjin, Hoseok and Jimin would be the first ones awake but Taehyung guessed that that wasn't the case this time around since his roommates were dead asleep and when he stumbled out of the room and into the living room, all lights were turned off and it was completely silent.
Nauseous and uncomfortable in his own skin, he made his way through the kitchen and into the bathroom, a thermometer in hand. He made sure to lock the door behind him before he let his legs give way.
He didn't know how long it took for him to regain some of his energy just to get back up on his feet but he was well aware that it must have been a few minutes too long than for him to finish showering on any other days.
Sighing, Taehyung ran his hand through his hair then his face, glancing at his reflection in the mirror. He was really exhausted- if the dark circles under his eyes and the slight trembling of his limbs when he stood too long didn't already give it away. But hey, who's to say he was the only one tired? All of them were, so he really couldn't complain even if he wanted to. For all he knew, the others might be feeling as awful as he felt, if not worse. Any other days, he would have openly asked for ibuprofen and cough drops but he really didn't want to be the centre of attention. He just had to survive the day then rest more once he comes back home.
He checked his temperature and found that it was no more than 37.8 degrees celsius. That was not so bad, right? He could totally go for hours of practice and still last for the next day. Totally. He just had to control his temperature or at least not make it any worse. That was when he vaguely remembered reading somewhere that when one has a fever, they just need to cool their body down and what great way to cool his body down than by taking a cold bath?
Taehyung nodded in agreement to his recollection and weakly stripped himself off of his sweat-soaked clothes. He regretted it the moment cold air hit him though, making him shiver.
Teeth chattering, he turned on the shower and watched as a stream of water splattered onto the empty space that he'd be occupying in just a few seconds (or in this case, minutes, because he was surely going to drag this out). He was trying to convince himself that this was necessary and that he should get this over and done with because dammit it's unbelievably freezing in here! And he would have stayed standing there, turning to ice, if it weren't for the movements that could be heard outside, prompting him to get on with it.
And he did.
And he almost, almost collapsed under the icy water. He even raced against time to put some clothes on in the hopes that that would help warm him up after.
As he shivered, he took out his thermometer and was about to see if his method worked but-
"Taehyung, what are you doing in there? I have to pee!" Jimin suddenly started banging on the door, startling him.
"Y-yeah. Hold on," he yelled back, pocketing the thermometer as he straightened his back. He even slapped his cheeks to bring colour to his face.
He took in a deep breath before opening the door to an impatient Jimin.
"What took you so long?! I thought I was going to pee in my pants!" his best friend shrieked, hurrying in and kicking Taehyung out. He wasn't even able to reply before the door shut tightly behind him.
"Geez, speak a little softer please?" he mumbled, more to himself than to anyone else.
If Jimin's voice was enough to rattle his head and make it pound any harder, he could only imagine what he would feel when he's in the dance studio practising their routine.
Throughout breakfast, he tried to be as loud as he usually was. But even his own voice was irritating him as much as it did the rest.
The ride to the dance studio was the easiest to go through though. He could allow himself to sink into his seat as the others opted to keep the silence and close their eyes to get a few minutes of sleep before they go through another draining rehearsal. And even when they'd arrived and quickly started their basic stretching, Taehyung managed to act natural, as if his head didn't feel like exploding and as if his muscles weren't screaming for him to just stop moving.
He might be stupid for thinking this way but Taehyung really didn't want to drag the others down when their actual concert was in less than three days. For all he knew, he might not even be that sick and so he couldn't afford to rest. He could do this! Totally!
And he did. He was successful for two hours; no suspicion was pointed at him and nobody paid attention like what he'd hoped. He really held it on his own and he was proud.
But when he got too sick and couldn't pass the series of painful throaty coughs that had been wrecking his lungs as a simple choking-in-his-own-saliva act, it really was impossible to go unnoticed. That was besides the fact that Taehyung's steps had become heavy and somehow his movements had grown sluggish. He made too many mistakes for anyone not to pay attention to him during the practice either so it was really inevitable when the music stopped midway through his part.
Taehyung wasn't even surprised. Just disappointed (with himself, of course).
"I'm sorry," was what he immediately said the moment everybody in the room faced him, worried expressions plastered on their features. "I tried. I really did. I'm sorry."
It could have been comical with his eyes so wide and pleading but the sway on his form made everything serious.
"Tae, are you okay?" Namjoon was the first to speak.
"Yes, I'm fin-"
"No, you're not," Seokjin interrupted just as Yoongi snorted.
"Fine my ass," he heard Yoongi say under his breath.
"Really. I'm just..." Taehyung didn't know how to say it. He contemplated saying that he was tired but that would just be plain insensitive because who in that room wasn't tired? He thought of deeming it as dehydration too and that might just be the perfect excuse but really, how could he lie? He'd endured enough, he thought. He really was unwell. If they hadn't asked him that golden question then maybe he'd stay silent about his illful state (although it was quite obvious at this point) but they did so there was no point pretending anymore. "I don't feel so good."
A moment of silence passed with Taehyung's eyes downcast, on the floor, because he was too ashamed of himself getting sick when everybody was working so hard. He expected huffs of annoyance or disappointed looks from the rest but...
"Why didn't you say so earlier, you dumbass?" Hoseok ruffled his hair gently, tone soft, making Taehyung look up in surprise. He didn't even notice that his members had surrounded him, eyes filled with something he never wanted to be the one causing.
"What do you feel, hyung?" asked Jungkook as Jimin pushed him onto a chair.
"Is your head aching? Are you dizzy?" Jimin continued.
"Y-yeah, but not really nauseous now. Just when I was dancing," he answered. This was seriously not the reaction he expected coming from them.
"Tsk, you're sweating too much," Yoongi grumbled, shoving a water bottle onto his chest from no where, gesturing for him to hydrate himself.
"I got it!" Seokjin emerged from behind Jimin, a towel in hand. The others gave him way as he squatted down in front of him and started wiping the sweat off his neck and forehead. He even felt for his temperature and frowned. "You're not that warm but you're still feverish. Since when have you been feeling sick?"
"Uhm... Last week? Maybe?"
"Last week?!" Hoseok almost shrieked. "Why am I only hearing this now?"
And there goes the guilt, settling in his veins. It didn't help that Jungkook sighed loudly, shaking his head.
So much for not wanting attention, Taehyung thought. I could have at least waited for the next water break!
"I didn't want to worry anybody. I'm sorry," he mumbled sheepishly, drinking the water that his Yoongi hyung gave him.
"And what are you doing now? You're still worrying us, dumbass! Might as well just tell us earlier, right?" Yoongi grumbled.
"Yeah! What if you fainted?" the leader suddenly appeared out of nowhere. He didn't even know when he disappeared. "That'll even be more problematic."
Problematic... Taehyung visibly flinched at the word and Namjoon received a slap on the shoulders and a glare from Seokjin as the others not so subtly chuckled.
"That's not what I meant, Tae," the leader quickly amended. "It's just that you should have told us earlier. Heck, the moment you felt unwell."
"Yeah, hyung. You always do this," Jungkook added and Taehyung just wanted to shrink in himself right there and then.
Noticing his silence, Jimin nudged him, making him look up.
"It's okay, Tae," he smiled, eyes as kind and genuine as ever. "Everyone falls sick at some point. It isn't your fault."
It is though. Ultimately, I got myself sick, Taehyung thought and he knew Namjoon and Yoongi know this. He knew because he could see it in the glint of their eyes. He smiled at Jimin anyway, thankful that his best friend made an effort to assure him otherwise.
"So, I talked to manager-nim a little while ago," the leader started to speak again and he was about ready to shake his head no when he was cut off by Yoongi's light hit at the back of the head and Seokjin's pointed look of 'don't you even dare or else fight me'. "We're sending you home to rest."
And Taehyung felt like a kicked puppy.
"It's for the best, TaeTae," Hoseok ruffled his hair for the second time that day. "You need to rest. Now that I know, you actually look really pale right now. I'm not rehearsing with a sick child. I refuse. It'll give me a heart attack if you collapse."
"You go home and rest, okay?" Seokjin added, looking him in the eyes with so much concern he could almost swim in it. "We'll come home as early as we could after practice and bring you food and medicine. Just don't go anywhere else and rest, okay?"
He nodded in defeat. The last thing he wanted was to disappoint anybody any further so he really couldn't do anything but comply.
I feel useless if I just stay at home though...
But maybe he should be thankful that they sent him home because the moment his body made contact with the living room's sofa, his body aches amplified, muscles burning like it was being pulled and torn apart, and if that wasn't enough to bring him to tears then the pounding headache was. When he attempted to get up and get to his bed, the world started spinning so fast that he swore his brain could spill out of his head.
And so he was stuck there, teary eyed, hugging himself into a fetal position, pleading for his body to cooperate with him and give him mercy- but it didn't. Of course, it didn't! It hadn't been listening to him for almost two weeks so why would it now?
He felt so terrible, useless and such a burden. And he was crying, wrecking his lungs as he heaved and heaved and heaved. Damn, he couldn't even get himself to his own room and bed. He could barely stand and it was all his fault.
So he cried, like how a sick child would, until he was pulled to a restless and painful slumber.
It was about 8 pm when he was stirred awake by the front door creaking open. At first, he thought there were intruders, burglars perhaps, because there was no way the members would be back at such an hour. It was too early, especially when they had rehearsals, so nobody could really blame Taehyung for thinking that way. But when the room, or more specifically, his eyes, were suddenly violated by the light that came illuminating the whole dorm, he breathed a sigh of relief when he saw his members by the door, getting their feet off of their sneakers and socks.
He made a move to get himself in a sitting position- and he was doing well despite his circumstance- when Hoseok screamed him a greeting, practically charging at him the moment he was free off of his footwear. Taehyung hadn't even registered what was happening, or was fully awake, before his hyung wrapped his arms and legs (don't ask him how that was even possible- he too, didn't know) around him, shaking his core (painfully so, but he wouldn't voice that out), yelling "Taehyungie! Hyung's back! Hyung will take care of you! Hyung missed you! Hyung will feed you!"
"Hoseok, you won't be taking care of anybody if Tae's dead," Seokjin scolded. "Stop shaking him and screaming to his ears!"
And as if Hoseok was suddenly handling a delicate and fragile child, he started fuzzing over Taehyung.
"Oh my! You look paler!" he squished his face between his palms. "And why are you still in your practice clothes? Aish, this kid!"
Throughout the whole exchange, Taehyung just sat there baffled, eyes red and wide. And before he knew it, he was being pulled up to his feet and dragged towards the bathroom. With how fast Hoseok made him move, it was a surprise that he didn't trip on his own two legs and succumb to the curse of fever.
"Don't kill him, Hobi!" he could hear Namjoon yelling after them and Yoongi sniggering, "if anyone could kill the poor kid, it'll be Hoseok taking care of him." The sound of Jungkook and Jimin laughing was in the background too.
Then, he was shoved (gently, of course) inside the bathroom.
Wha- it was the exposure of his back that finally got him back to his senses. Immediately, he pulled his shirt back down.
"Hyung!" he cried out in complaint. "What are you doing?"
"I'm bathing you," he smirked, winking.
"What? No," he swatted at Hoseok's advancing hands. "I can take a shower on my own, hyung."
"Well, you should have done that like hours ago," his hyung said mischievously but letting him be anyway.
All Taehyung could do then was chuckle.
For a minute, the two of them just stood there, staring at each other, Taehyung feeling awkward all on his own.
"Well?"
"Huh?"
"Aren't you going to shower? Because if you're not, I can always-"
"I will! Just not while you're watching," Taehyung interrupted, completely mortified at the thought of having eyes on him.
"But how will I know that you'd-"
"Hoseok, stop harassing him," the two of them heard Seokjin's approaching voice and before long, Hoseok was being pulled out of the bathroom, Jimin replacing him.
"Change into this, Tae," his best friend said with a smile, passing him a set of clothes and was that his favourite pyjamas and long sleeves?
"Thank you, Chimchim!" he launched himself at him and nearly regretted it because the world started spinning in an unimaginable speed- thank goodness Jimin caught him!
"Woah, Tae! Are you sure you should be moving like that?" Jimin frowned, noting the evident change in his facial expression. He couldn't even reply and Jimin wasn't even expecting him to. "Can you take a shower on your own?"
"Hmm hm," he hummed in response.
"I don't know," Jimin trailed off, unsure.
"I'm fine, really," he attempted a smile but it came out as a grimace.
"Yeah, you're not showering alone," Jimin said, absolute.
"Wha-"
"That's not what I mean, Tae! Geez," his best friend laughed. "I meant I'm staying here. Just to make sure. You can pull the curtains if you want but I'm staying!" And he emphasised his point when he dropped the cubicle's lid and sat on it, phone in hand as he started scrolling down their twitter feed.
At first, Taehyung just stood there, dumbfounded, but then he remembered that this man was his best friend and he wouldn't just listen to him just because he was feeling awkward.
Sighing in defeat, he pulled the shower curtains and started stripping. There was a smile gracing his lips even as the cold water streamed down his otherwise burning figure.
He liked the attention he was getting. However, at the same time, he hated it because whether his members would like to admit it or not, he was being a bother. Even he finds himself bothersome. He couldn't even get himself to shower when his members hadn't arrived yet and now, he couldn't even shower by himself. His members must be really tired and irritable under their skin what with it sticky with sweat, and yet here he was, occupying one of the bathrooms they had when he could have saved the time by showering earlier.
True to his words, he found Jimin still on his spot when he emerged from behind the shower curtains. He dried himself as quickly as he could and changed into the clothes Jimin handed him just a while ago.
"You look much better," his friend commented and all he could do was smile even though contrary to the statement, he felt shittier.
Hoseok attempted to spoon feed him, Jungkook laughing and teasing by the side, eating his own food. Everybody else was either showering or waiting for the bathrooms to free up, having eaten their dinner when Taehyung was in earlier.
"Hyung, I can eat by myself," he grumbled as another spoonful waited by his mouth. Despite the complaint though, he took the food in his mouth and slowly started to chew.
"Of course, you can!" Hoseok gave that shit eating grin of his, rendering Taehyung honestly speechless.
"You're enjoying this, aren't you, hyung?" Jungkook chuckled.
Before Hoseok could reply, Yoongi came by, looking like he just finished showering. He paused at the sight before him and Taehyung took that opportunity to send his SOS signal through his eyes when they made eye contact but the elder looked unfazed and quite frankly unamused.
He stood there for a while just looking, watching with a blank expression before he proceeded to his room quietly just like that, Jungkook and Hoseok just laughing at Taehyung's failed attempt to ask for help and escape.
"Come on, Tae, you need to drink your medicine and go to bed," Hoseok mocked impatience, a sly unnerving smirk on his lips.
Seeing that there was no escape to his hyung's babying, he just gave up and complied, ignoring the praises usually given to kids that were thrown his way every time he swallowed spoonful after spoonful. He blatantly ignored Jungkook's teasing too.
Taehyung didn't particularly feel anything but a lightweight after drinking the medicine Hoseok almost practically shoved down his throat- thank goodness Seokjin hyung was there.
He laid on his bed, drowsy with sleep etched on his entire boy. His brain was running wild though. He kept thinking about how he missed a few hours of rehearsals that day, worrying over the steps he had yet perfected and the little amount of time he had left before the concert. How much was he behind the rest? Did anything change? Maybe the stage positions? He was going nuts thinking about all of that.
Frustrated, he clenched his fist, digging his nails into his palm under the blanket that he was tucked into. At this rate, he'd have a restless night and he wasn't so sure if he could afford that.
He shut his eyes tightly, trying and failing to empty up his mind. He needed to sleep if he wanted to go for rehearsal the next day but he couldn't exactly bang his head until he loses consciousness.
The door suddenly opened and in came Hoseok, drying his hair with a towel. He watched his hyung rub his eyes and yawn in exhaustion, only seeing then just how haggard he looked like. And he still took care of me...
The guilt was back in full swing and he closed his eyes abruptly, not wanting his hyung to see that he was still awake and worry about him any further. For sure he'd stay awake if he knew Taehyung couldn't sleep. One sick member was enough. They seriously didn't need another one- not if Taehyung could help it.
Taehyung forced his breathing to even out, slacking his muscles and easing the frown on his face to feign asleep. His ears perked up though, listening to the movements around the room, paying special attention to the shuffle of his hyung's feet.
When he heard him stumble, followed by a heavy thud, he lost his cover, wanting to make sure his hyung was okay.
"Ah, did I wake you?" Hoseok said sheepishly, crouched on the floor with a hand clutching his toe in pain. "Sorry."
"Not really, hyung. What happened to you?" Taehyung surprised himself when his voice came out rough (but maybe he should have expected that given the throbbing ache in his throat).
"I hit my toe on the foot of the bed," his hyung replied, feeling silly. "Go back to sleep. I'm okay."
All he did was nod but there was probably something about the face he was making that gave him away because suddenly, Hoseok was sitting on the floor next to his bed, treading his fingers through his hair gently.
"You can't sleep, can you?"
Before he could even try to deny, in came Jimin, as fresh as he could be after a shower.
"Tae, I thought you were asleep?" his best friend questioned with a frown.
"He couldn't sleep," Hoseok answered for him.
"How can someone sick not be able to sleep?" that came from Jungkook, who emerged behind Jimin from the door.
"Well, I'm sorry I couldn't meet the expectation," it came out as a joke but somehow, the room fell in silence and Taehyung couldn't help but frown at their reaction.
He blinked to clear away the haze in his eyes to see if he wasn't mistaking the scowl that was gracing each of their faces. What did I do now?
"Tae, what do you mean?" Jimin was the first to break the silence. "Nobody's expecting anything better from you. You're human. You get sick. We all do. Nobody's blaming you."
"Huh?" Taehyung asked, flustered. "I didn't say-"
"You didn't but we know, TaeTae," Hoseok interrupted, sternly. "We know you long enough to know what you're thinking half of the time, even without you saying anything."
"There's nothing wrong with being taken care of either. You don't have to act so tough when you're sick, so don't feel like you're burdening any of us. Seriously, you're not. And if any of us were in your shoes right now, we know for a fact that you'd take care of us the same way we currently are. Would you think we're a burden then?"
"No?" Taehyung replied raspily, speechless. "But-"
"Aish, hyung, just sleep!" the maknae groaned, half-heartedly glaring his way as he tugged the blanket up, closer to Taehyung's chin, tucking him in properly.
At that, still bewildered, he nodded, wide eyed. He shifted slightly to get a more comfortable position, sleep finally catching up to him now that his thoughts were slowed down and the guilt soothed to a bearable degree. He watched, with droopy eyes, as the other three quietly bickered and teased at each other before darkness completely took over him with Hoseok's hand still running through his hair, helping to lull him to oblivion.
The next time he opened his eyes, the room was completely dark and devoid of any sound except for the soft hum of the air conditioner. He registered all that and the dull ache in his head, steadily increasing in its severity as his consciousness settled back in. Blearily, he looked to the other bed from across his. He could barely make out the lump under the blanket and the small hint of hair almost completely buried by it.
He was freezing, he realised next, shivering even when his own blanket hugged him. Belatedly, he too, realised that he was sweating. Buckets, in fact. He pulled the covers closer to his body and wiped at the sheen of sweat on his forehead. He considered for a moment if he should get up and increase the temperature of the air conditioner but quickly shied away from the thought. He couldn't possibly leave his bed. Not when his limbs felt as heavy as steel. Instead, he closed his eyes and opted to try and go back to sleep.
He must have been successful at that because the next thing he knew, clearly unprecedented, he was waking up to his own coughing fit. It was like his breath got caught in his throat multiple times, creating a huge lump of air in his lungs that came out all at once, wracking his whole body with violent hacks.
Every cough was painful, but even more so as he tried to suppress it or at least quieten it down.
Clamping his hand on his mouth, he pressed his face as hard as he could against his pillow, muffling the horrible painful sound his cloggy throat was making. A minute or two passed and his hacking never ceased, relentless even as tears started revealing themselves from his tightly closed eyelids.
It hurts... He thought helplessly, wanting for his damned lungs to cooperate with the rest of his body as his back was starting to ache. The attack was incessant though.
It was when the third minute passed that he felt movements from the top bunk above him. Then, he felt a hand rubbing his back in soothing circles and another on his forehead.
Taehyung opened his eyes the slightest and found Hoseok staring at him with worry written all over his face. Meanwhile, Jimin was climbing down the ladder and padding towards the light switch.
"S-sorry," he murmured in between his coughs, pathetically so, when light illuminated the whole room, assaulting his eyes.
"Sorry for what? There's nothing to apologise for," Jimin soothed, suddenly appearing behind Hoseok with a water bottle in hand.
I woke you up... that's what. How selfish can I get?
"Stop suppressing it, Tae. Suppressing it is making it worse," Hoseok said.
A tear slid down from his bloodshot eyes then, guilty as ever. "Sorry."
"It's okay. It's not your fault. It's okay," his hyung hushed, still drawing circles on his back.
Taehyung did as asked with his eyes closed and as Hoseok had predicted, his coughing ceased after another minute, leaving him with laboured breath.
He laid there completely exhausted with his hyung treading his fingers through his hair (much like what he did earlier that night).
"What time is it?" he asked, throat rough and painful- he was offered a sip of water from Jimin because of that.
"Pass 3 am," Hoseok was the one who answered.
"I'm sorry..."
"I said there's nothing to feel sorry for," his best friend scolded as he tucked him in.
"Go back to sleep, Tae."
He nodded, slowly, not needing to be told twice as his eyes closed on their own accord.
He thought he saw Yoongi before sleep dragged him back under.
His whole body felt like lead, trembling and weak. That much was understood. But despite that, to run all the way to the bathroom- and the farthest one at that- to vomit his stomach's otherwise barely-there content, was something that he would now always wonder how he'd managed to do.
Fully slumped onto the toilet bowl, his head hang low as his stomach full on purged itself, leaving him out of breath and very much bone weary. He stayed that way for so long, with no track of time, that he worried that his members would wake up and find him at that awful state. He was already fortunate enough not to have woken them up when he had ran there, so he didn't want to question just how far and long his luck could last.
When his retching finally ceased, he sluggishly leaned away from the toilet bowl, flushed down the toilet and slumped against the nearest wall. He sat there, nauseated, feeling helpless and just plain drained. Everything was swaying even as he remained completely still. He was sweating actively too, cold and uncomfortable with his pyjamas and long sleeves clinging to his skin.
He didn't want to move. He feared to move. At the rate at which everything seemed to be spinning, he felt like he would end up throwing up his whole guts, having nothing to puke out anymore, if he even dared to move a muscle.
Pathetic. He felt pathetic. He couldn't even bring himself to stand and rinse his mouth let alone get back to bed. Forget it! He would just sit there and wait for someone to find him, hopefully, not dead.
He started crying.
He cried because he couldn't get up or move and he cried because he's never gotten this sick before. He also cried because he knew he'd miss another day of rehearsal and he cried because their concert's in two days. The worst of it all, he cried, because he felt like he's letting everyone down. He's letting his members' hard work and effort go down to waste with how miserable he currently felt.
He should probably just pull out from the concert at this rate. They'd done it before, performing as six instead of seven. For sure the others could pull it off without him.
ARMYs would be disappointed though... and- he didn't have time to finish that thought as air got caught on his throat, sending him to an all too familiar coughing fit, quickly becoming incessant like a forgotten memory coming back to bug him. To make matters worse (as if there's no end to his suffering), his stomach flipped at the tremors his body's suddenly put under and he was back to retching, arms almost hugging the toilet bowl.
Nothing was coming out of his mouth though. He couldn't bare more if he was being completely honest.
His arms soon lost all its energy to support his shaking body and being the only thing that kept him upright, he slid down hard against the tiled floor, giving a resounding thud. The impact shook his head and a sharp pain invited him on his left shoulder but he couldn't even focus on all that because his abdomen and back started aching all together. That was all the while his lungs made him cough like there was no tomorrow and his throat burned holes into itself.
He laid there helpless and coughing as tears and more tears accompanied him.
He curled onto himself and waited. He waited until everything would stop; whether it be all the things he was feeling or his breathing.
He didn't know how long he stayed like that or when his coughing ceased. He didn't know when he closed his eyes either or when he passed out, but he did remember arms pulling him up and the rest... well, the rest was lost somewhere in between.
For once, Yoongi was the first one up. Truthfully, he kept waking up throughout the entire night, especially when he had heard Taehyung's painful hacks at around 3 in the morning. When he had gotten up to check on him, he found the younger fast asleep with Hoseok combing his hair with his fingers and Jimin working on the thermometer.
Maybe Taehyung's elevated temperature was the reason to his waking up at 7 am or the fact that overall, the kid was just really sick. Either way or both, he was too concerned to continue sleeping without making sure that the younger was alright.
It was not that he didn't trust that Taehyung was in good hands. Believe him, he does (he's with Jimin and Hoseok after all) but there was just something about the eeriness of his room (heck, the whole dorm) that just didn't sit right with him that morning. As if something had gone completely wrong and it was waiting around the corner for a surprise attack. He didn't like it. Yes, it was silent and cold in the whole house since it was morning and nobody was awake yet (it was supposed to be that way) but his paranoia was real (it wasn't joking at all the moment it actually woke him up in anxiety).
He begrudgingly got up from bed, ready to prove his brain wrong, and went straight to the room where his root of concern resided.
As grumpy as he was, he opened the door quietly and carefully, not wanting to disturb any of the occupants of the room. He saw Hoseok first, burried under his blanket, fast asleep (which Yoongi expected given how he and Jimin had stayed up later than the rest and even woke up in the middle of the night to take care of Taehyung, whose condition seemed to have worsen).
And then, he turned to the double deck bed and he was pretty sure he didn't see the sick kid where he should be. He blinked rapidly, blaming it on his half- awakened state, and even rubbed at his eyes. Yoongi's heart literally almost burst out of his ribcage at how quick and hard it suddenly started to beat.
With his uncoordinated limbs, he fully entered- no, stumbled into the room and even checked the top bunk to see if Taehyung had climbed up to sleep beside Jimin (though it would have been very unlikely as the two always somehow ended up on Taehyung's bed instead of the other's regardless of who was sick or who needed the company between the two). Imagine the anxiety spike deep within his core when he saw that Taehyung wasn't there either.
At his movements, Jimin stirred awake.
"Hyung?" the younger squinted at him. "What are you-"
"Where's Taehyung?" Yoongi cut him off, looking the younger in the eyes.
"He's not below?" Jimin asked, confused.
Yoongi all but shook his head and turned around to exit the room, thinking that maybe the kid went off to sleep beside Jungkook (though, again, it would have been very unlikely because of how loud Namjoon could snore).
With his limbs and muscles fully awake, he almost pried the door to Jungkook and Namjoon's room open and entered unannounced. Jungkook was, of course, dead to the world and Namjoon was quietly (for once) snoring at their respective beds but no Taehyung.
No Taehyung.
By then, Yoongi was wide awake, paranoia hitting him at full speed, and he practically zoomed out of the room and into the next; the bathroom. It was empty. He quickly took a U-turn, pass the living room, straight through the kitchen and into the only other bathroom they've been blessed with.
The bathroom's lights were off but the morning sun and the widely opened door revealed Taehyung's unconscious body laying on the cold tiled floor.
"Taehyung!" Yoongi cried, eyes wide with fear.
Immediately, he dropped down beside him and pulled him onto his back. He cursed under his breath when he saw just how pale and sickly the younger looked.
"Jin hyung?!" he shouted. "Jin hyung, anyone?! Help me!" he turned back to Taehyung. "Tae, Tae?" He shook him as effectively and gently as he could. "Fuck, you're burning up."
It was Jimin who got there first, followed by Seokjin.
"Water. Get me drinking water," Yoongi ordered and Jimin practically sprinted off while Seokjin dropped down to his knees beside Taehyung's vacant side, eyes impossibly wide.
"Wh-what happened?" the eldest demanded, voice shaky as he placed a palm against Taehyung's forehead, only to pry it back at how much heat the younger was actually exuding. "Shit. Yoongi, what happened?"
"I don't know. I found him here," Yoongi answered, just as panicked.
Right then, Jimin came back but with a wide-eyed Hoseok right on his track. He let out a gasp as he stood by the entrance, frozen and stiff.
Jimin planted himself beside Yoongi, glass of water ready in his shaky hand as he looked at his best friend's ghastly appearance up close.
"Tae? Taehyung? TaeTae? Open your eyes," the eldest slapped the younger's cheek lightly, trying to wake him up. "Shit, Tae? Please wake up? Wake up. Come on! Fuck! How long was he out?" he asked more to himself than Yoongi who was the first to witness Taehyung like this.
Seokjin never curses. Never. And everybody almost flipped, including Yoongi.
"I don't know. I don't know. I just found him like this," Yoongi answered although he knew it was more of a rhetorical question.
Seokjin continued shaking Taehyung awake, his heart pulsating fast. "Tae? Taehyung? Open your eyes. Wake up. Taehyung?"
And in the ear-splitting silence that Taehyung's unresponsiveness offered them, Namjoon came into the scene, hair all tousled and a mess.
The leader was stricken, to say the least, and he looked at three of his members, huddled together, encasing a very much boneless Kim Taehyung. Before he could even properly process what he was seeing before him, Seokjin ordered, "someone get me the thermometer," and Hoseok bolted, almost knocking Namjoon to the ground on his way.
"I'll c-call, Sejin-hyung. Just- I'll call him right now," Namjoon scampered off as well, starting slow but when the gears started turning in his head, he was barely able to keep his panic to a minimum before he full on sprinted to his room. He pushed the doors so hard it slammed against the back wall, startling the peaceful maknae awake to see his hyung scramble around his bed looking for his phone.
At any given day, Jungkook would have rolled over and went back to sleep but there was just something about Namjoon's behaviour that alarmed him. It gave him a horrible sense of foreboding and the next thing he knew, he found himself sitting up groggily, watching his hyung pace the room with his phone pressed against his ears. Everything about Namjoon just screamed worry, panic and anxiety, and Jungkook could only guess why as he belatedly registered the frantic voices of the others somewhere in the dorm.
He jerked out of bed, feet leading him towards the noises and when he got there, it was safe to say that that was enough to knock him wide awake.
He was fast to break in cold sweat as he shuffled closer, watching Seokjin and Yoongi trying to collaboratively stir his youngest hyung awake.
"Tae? Taehyung? Wake up. Can you hear me? Hey, Tae, wake up! Open your eyes, come on," Seokjin pleaded, almost tearily.
After a second or two of dead silence, Taehyung's fingers twitched, his eyebrows furrowing the slightest bit before turning slack again.
At least that gave all of them some sort of relief.
"TaeTae?" Yoongi tried again, lightly tapping Taehyung's cheeks, and when the younger's eyebrows twitched, he grew confident. "Taehyung? Hey, Tae. Open your eyes."
Taehyung huffed out, scrunching his nose and furrowing his eyebrows before his eyelids slowly fluttered open- not completely, but that was enough to make Jimin and Hoseok, who had been watching by Taehyung's head, slump in relief.
"Oh, thank god! Tae? Tae. Look at me. Hey, can you hear me?" Seokjin waved his hand in front of Taehyung but the other was just looking off unseeingly to the space between his head and Yoongi's.
"What's wrong with him?" Hoseok asked, nipping at his lips worriedly. And as if that wasn't enough, Taehyung's breathing was coming in short huffs, laboured and warm- too warm- and Hoseok was on the very verge of freaking out. That was when he remembered the thermometer in his hands and spurted into action. He held it at the entrance of Taehyung's ear and waited for it to beep its signal.
Meanwhile, Yoongi carefully lifted Taehyung's head to feel for any bumps, sighing in relief when he felt none.
"39.7 degrees celsius," Hoseok announced just as the thermometer gave its call. "It went up."
"When was the last time you checked his temperature?" Seokjin inquired.
"Around 3," Jimin was the one to answer with a thick voice. "He was coughing pretty bad. It woke us up. Yoongi hyung too." He bit his lips, resisting the urge to cry. I should have stayed awake... I should have- his thoughts were cut off when Taehyung's eyes slid back shut. "No! Don't close your eyes!"
His outburst made Jungkook quite literally jump out of his skin.
"He's having a hard time waking up."
Jungkook swivelled at Namjoon's voice. He didn't even realise his hyung had been standing right behind him. "Maybe we should get him into a sitting position."
Yoongi sprouted into action even before the leader could finish his sentence. He slid an arm under Taehyung's neck and pulled him up as Hoseok moved closer to let Taehyung lean on him, head comfortably placed on his shoulders as the older wrapped his arms around him.
With Taehyung's back flush against his chest, Hoseok could now clearly feel the vibrations of his breathing. If he was trying so hard to ignore the irregular ups and downs of Taehyung's chest earlier, there was no way he could do the same then.
"His breathing's off, hyung," he informed with teary eyes as he started rubbing at his dongsaeng's chest, hoping it could ease away whatever junk that was lodged in there.
At his hyung's statement, Jungkook started carding his hand through Taehyung's hair, knowing how it used to both lull his hyung to sleep and stir him awake- oh, how he hoped it would be the latter. It was the only way he could think to do to help as the rest of his hyungs tried to collaboratively pull Taehyung back to consciousness.
Jungkook had to gulp down the lump on his throat and blink away the unshed tears that had started to well up in his eyes without his consent when a minute passed and Taehyung still gave them nothing. He never really did like seeing any of his hyungs in this state- although this was the very first time any of them has gone down so far like this. He was finding it harder and harder to reign in his worry and fear as seconds pass by. If Taehyung didn't wake up soon, he would call the ambulance- to heck with the fact that it would cause a scandal! Shit, Jungkook would run his youngest hyung to the hospital if anyone stops him from calling. The media and the public can kiss his ass, just as long as his hyung gets-
"Hhhm..."
Everyone went still, practically not breathing, eyes laser-focused on the member who just made the sound. It wasn't anything coherent or so much as a mumble. It was more like a groan, but it was good enough.
It was good enough because the next thing they knew, Taehyung's eyes were slowly blinking open and this time it brought with it awareness.
"Oh, god. Thank god! Shit! You're awake! Holyshit, you're awake."
"Hey, there you are. You're back!"
"Oh, thank you thank you thank you! You're finally awake!"
"TaeTae!"
"What the hell! You scared the shit out of me, kid!"
"Hyung!"
Taehyung had a split second of confusion before he registered the burning that was his body and the pounding that was his head. His face automatically scrunched in utter misery as he instinctively burried his face into the crook of someone's neck. He could feel his eyes sting as tears welled up in them and he let a tear or two roll down his cheeks as he closed his eyes. He could barely register what was going on around him or what his members were saying as they tried to talk to him. He felt so lost and panicked.
His head hurt, his left shoulder hurt, his throat hurt- heck, everything hurt! And it only occured to him that he had started full on crying when someone started rubbing his back in soothing circles and another running their hands through his hair as voices shushed him and told him that everything was going to be okay, that they were there and that they would take care of him.
It took him a long time to calm his breathing and even a longer time to stop his tears. He felt more exhausted and sleepy, and he almost fell unconscious if it weren't for Namjoon's voice calling his name, making him flinch back to awareness.
He breathed shakily before forcing his heavy eyelids to open. The first thing he saw was Seokjin's disturbed expression.
"You're dehydrated," he said, and the next thing Taehyung knew, small hands were holding a glass of water by his lips and water was sipping down his throat.
All he could do then, was try hard to keep his eyes open, blinking slowly as he fought back the sleep that was pulling him back under.
"Don't fall back to sleep, TaeTae. Just hold out for a few minutes," Jimin told him. "You can sleep once we get you into comfortable clothes and safe in bed. Don't worry. We'll take care of you, okay? Just hang on."
He nodded but contrary to that, his eyes stayed close for too long as he blinked.
"Hey, no, don't sleep," that was Namjoon's mini-panic and Taehyung forced his eyes to open.
"Sorry..." he barely whispered.
"Don't say sorry. Just stay awake," it was Hoseok this time and he finally identified who he had been leaning on. "We better get him off the floor. He's shivering."
"We have to get him off of these clothes first," Seokjin's voice sounded and Taehyung felt himself being pulled up from Hoseok's warmth, the movement making his head swim.
He tried to help support his weight the best he could, but it was too difficult with his head feeling like lead, too heavy without support. A tear escaped pass his eyelids then, and when someone wiped it away, he blinked to see that it was Yoongi. His hyung had his eyebrows all creased with worry and Taehyung swore his mouth was moving but all too suddenly, he couldn't hear anything.
"Hyung..." it came out in puffs of air as another tear rolled down his cheeks. Taehyung felt Yoongi's thumb wiping that away too, before his head was pulled to rest on the eldest rapper's left shoulder.
The support and warmth toned down the beating ache in his head and the nausea subsided momentarily as well. He wanted to snuggle his head closer but his body felt too immobile. Yoongi realised this and shifted closer so that Taehyung could bury his head on the crook of his neck. Taehyung then snaked his arms around his hyung, fisting the back of Yoongi's shirt to secure his weak attempt of an embrace.
Cold air suddenly hit his back and he belatedly realised that his shirt was being worked out of him.
He whimpered.
"It's okay, Tae. You're okay," Yoongi whispered, promising him, as he started threading his fingers through his hair.
After that, Taehyung didn't know how long he held onto his wavering consciousness. He didn't know how Yoongi almost freaked out of his body when his grip on his shirt loosened and his arms fell limp with a soft, yet loud thud. He also didn't know how everyone paled and were practically traumatised when his breathing turned from laboured to shallow and then almost nothing all in under one minute. All he knew was that he tried his hardest to stay awake under the care of his six brothers.
"Hyung, should we check his temperature again?"
"I just did, Chim. Relax."
"But what if it increased to 40 after? We'll have to rush him to the hospital right away."
"That can't happen in under half a minute, Kookie. Here, if it'll help the two of you be at ease, help me wipe off the sweat from his neck and forehead."
Taehyung heard shuffling before he felt something being dabbed at him. He then felt a palm place itself flat on his forehead.
"He feels too warm though, Jin hyung. Are you sure it's not at least 39 degrees?"
He heard Seokjin sigh in defeat. "It's not. If it'll help you feel better, shall we check again?"
There was more shuffling before another voice joined in the room.
"How is he?" It was Namjoon.
"His fever's steadily going down but Jimin and Jungkook are convinced the thermometer is deceiving us," Seokjin informed.
"I just want to make sure, hyung," came Jimin's whine.
"I know, Chim. Come on, check his temperature," Seokjin provided just as a beep sounded.
Taehyung tried to listen in to the conversations happening around him after that, to maybe shake off from the clutches of exhaustion, but his consciousness must have waded for a few minutes because the next thing he knew, everything was silent and dull.
He laid there awake, but not really, for what seemed like twenty minutes (maybe longer as he was certain that darkness kept touching him, leaving him disoriented and confused) before a door was creaking open. He heard feet padding in the room quietly and then hands were combing its fingers through his hair.
He didn't know where he suddenly got the energy to open his eyes but it did. His eyelids budged at his command to peek at whoever it was soothing him.
It was Namjoon.
"Hey," he greeted softly, smiling down at him.
"He's awake?" another voice filtered through the room. It sounded slightly faint and Taehyung couldn't muster the strength to look for its source.
"Hmm hm, but not fully I think."
"It's time to go, Namjoon-ah."
"I know, I know. I'm just... I just wanted to check up on him..."
There was a period of silence.
"Actually, volunteering to ask you to hurry up was just an excuse to check up on Tae. It's convenient that you're already here. I killed two birds with one stone."
Then there was soft laughter.
"Go back to sleep, Tae. You have to rest."
And then there was darkness.
Then, Taehyung was dead.
~~~I'm joking, chill. xD