My head was a mess. And that was the understatement of the century. After Jen and Nathan's confessions I didn't know what to do. On one hand was Nathan, who was clearly wrongly accused of a crime way worse than murder; on the other was Jason, who always seemed to be truthful about everything, who looked so mad about it all; and then there was Jen, who never seemed interested in popularity, and seemed to take my word about the shit that came with it, and the second she moved here, she turned into a popular uber-bitch. All of the confusions were tearing me apart, slowly killing me. The old Elle would have just avoided Jason like he was plague incarnate, but the new Elle had to confront him about it, because the new Elle still bore the scars of the old Elle's cowardice.
But I was still confused. I was so confused. Because if I chose not to confront him, I would have so many doubts about him, and if I did, I would lose him. There were no maybes about it all. If he was lying, then I would never forgive him, and if he wasn't, the he was definitely never going to forgive me. And it wasn't like we were going to get any 'relationship of the year' awards anytime soon. He, for one, had made it abundantly clear that he considered me just a friend, if even that.
But I freaking loved him! Could I let go of him like that? Did I even want to let him go?
Ughhhh! I so wasn't cut out for the teen angst scene! Proof if this was my surroundings. Teen angst was meant to be dealt with balanced precariously on the ledge of a roof, with a bottle of whiskey swiped from the parental units, listening to crappy whiny music; not sitting on a wooden porch, wrapped in a blanket, drinking hot cocoa, looking up at the stars.
Trey came up behind me and said ''I thought you gave up trying to get inspired for poetry class by looking at stars. How come you're up at this time of night looking like a girl who cant decide if the dress makes her look fat or not?''
I gave him a wry smile and asked ''cant sleep?''
He gave me a sad smile ''yeah. Diana broke up with me. This time its permanent. She found someone else."
"Oh I'm sorry to hear that." I replied
"Don't be," he replied,"It was like a wakeup call. What the hell am I doing with my life Elle? I'm twenty five. I'm about to get out of law school, but the only girls I date are ones I know I'm not gonna end up with. Diana, a twenty something sorority girl found love. I need to grow up. But I just...''
I completed his sentence ''cant find the love of your life? That's okay Trey. You'll find her when it'll be meant to be. Not a second before or after. No matter how hard you try to find her, you wont. And then, when you least expect it, she'll just pop out of nowhere and you'll fall completely and madly in love with her and give me a lot of completely adorable nieces and nephews. And live happily ever after.''
He smiled, a real genuine smile ''you really think so?''
I rolled my eyes ''of course.''
He grinned, but then he seemed to remember that I was out on the porch thinking about my own personal drama. He asked ''Ellie, is everything okay? You seem to be thinking very hard about something. You know, if you need to talk about something, I'm not a girl, but chicks always say 'oh my god, Trey, you're such a good listener.' sure it always follows with 'OMG Trey, you're so hot' and 'Oh god try, you're so good...' ''
I groaned ''ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww!!!!! I totally didn't need to know about my big brothers man ho ways!''
He chuckled at me, but then he sobered up and said ''I'm serious Ellie. Talk to me itty bit.''
Something about the look in his eyes, the concern-or maybe it was just the hot cocoa- made me spill me guts to him. He listened to me carefully and by the end of the narrative, he held me as I wept my guts out.
After I had calmed sufficiently, I looked up sniffling and asked ''what the hell do I do Trey? Because I have no idea, no idea what to do, or who do believe. What do I?''
He said in all seriousness ''you investigate.''
I gave him my famous WTF face. He clarified ''you can get all the case details from the courthouse. I'll go get them for you first thing tomorrow morning As for Jen, I don't know about Jason Darcy, but someone clearly filled her head with more shit than the diaper of a baby with diarrhea. But Jen is hiding something. Even love at first sight isn't strong enough for her going to such extreme lengths to get Ian Bingley.''
I replied ''yeah. You're right. But she isn't going to be the one who spills it. But thanks for talking to me. You really helped me clear my head.''
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Trey cried out ''honey I'm home.''
I rolled my eyes at his childish antics. It had become somewhat of a joke. He was serious about wanting to settle down. He had started to change his bad habits and replace them with 'family friendly' habits like quitting drinking, smoking and sleeping around. Apparently he wanted to quit it all before starting the last semester of law school, which was in two days. Never was I more thankful that Netherfield had a law school close enough for him to live with us.
I yelled ''in my room.''
He came up holding a manila folder. He promptly threw onto my bed and said ''I got you the case proceeding and evidence and stuff. Now I'm hungry. Serve me food wench.''
I smiled ''brownies in the fridge.''
As expected, he was out of the room before I could say thanks.
I looked through all of the evidence of both the parties. To my surprise Nathan was right about her being a slut.
And then I read 'the testimony'. The one that saved Nathan's butt.
Georgia's then best friend Natasha Jones had testified against her BFF. In her very own words
''Georgia was, I mean she is, obsessed with Nathan. She stole pictures of Nathan from her brother's room and pasted them in her diary. But it was way more than a puppy crush. She was so serious. Nathan's first girlfriend Maria, well we all know the story of how Maria broke Nathan's heart. But what they didn't know is that Georgia paid her a quarter of a million dollars to skedaddle. Then his second girlfriend Anna, she didn't take the money. Anna genuinely loved Nathan, and Georgia felt threatened by that, so she got her bodyguards to beat the poor girl up to a pulp and threatened to do the same to her family. That is why Anna left.
''a couple of days ago, in the middle of the night, I got a call from Georgia saying that she put a move on Nathan but he rejected her, unlike the rest of Jason's friends. She said that that meant he was different. When I told her that maybe that meant that he wasn't interested, she nearly blew my head off.
''Then that night, the night of the party, she told me that she was going to get Nathan tonight, one way or the other, or Nathan was going to be very, very sorry. And the next thing I knew, the poor guy got arrested on charges of rape.''
I had seen Natasha around school. To be frank, the girl reminded me of a scared rabbit, not someone who could make up a lie like that. There was no more doubt in my head regarding Nathans innocence. Now all I had to do was confront Jason about it. We couldn't be together. He accused and testified against an innocent person in court, just to save his slutty sister's reputation. Needless to say, that was a complete no-no in my book. I was a bit more sympathetic towards assault victims but false testimony almost helped keep the person who assaulted me and would have almost took my virginity from me, the boy I thought I loved until I saw his true face. Needless to say, I wasn't big on double-faced hypocrites either.
Fortunately for me, at that moment Trey shouted to me ''Jason's here.''
I yelled ''send him up!''
It was breakup time.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Jason came upstairs and entered my room, seeing the door open, came inside. It surprised me that such a hypocrite could look so concerned me. He asked with perfect sincerity ''hey babe. You weren't at school today, so I was worried. Is everything okay? Are you okay?''
I replied ''don't call me babe. I'm not your babe.''
He looked even more worried, if that was even possible , and asked ''what's the matter Ellie? Did I do something to make you mad? Why cant I call you babe? You're my girlfriend after all.''
I replied ''no. I'm your fake girlfriend. There's a difference.''
He asked ''is this about Friday again? I apologized for that once and I'll do it now in person. Actually I wanted to talk to you. It has taken me a lot of time to get the courage to say this but..''
I said ''but what? Hurry up, because I want to say something to.''
He begun in an anguished, tortured voice ''Ellie, I'm in love with you. I think I started to fall in love you when when I asked you to dance but you rejected me because I was rude to you. You have completely stolen my heart. Every song reminds me of you, every flower smells of you. The tinkle of bells reminds me of your voice, the breeze, every single thing reminds me of you. I try to find you in every girl. I cant stop thinking of you. It feels like my entire body is on fire, and my hearts being ripped out of my chest, and the only time I'm happy is when I'm with you, the only thing that makes me feel good is the sound of your voice. I love you Elle Vanessa Bennet. Please be mine.''
I replied in the coldest tone of voice I could manage after hearing that touching speech, thinking of Jen's tearstained face and the glint in Nathan's eyes, forcing myself to be strong, steeling myself ''I'm flattered Jason, but no. Thank you. I don't think I'm right for you, but you'll make someone else very, very happy''
He growled ''no! What the hell Elle? We're perfect for each other! And you give me a cold, standard let-down. At least give me a fucking reason!''
I said ''fine, you want a reason, I'll bloody well give you a damn reason! I'll never forgive you for what you did to my sister! You knew that Ian and her fell in love at first sight. You told her that Ian liked the bitch kind of girls, when Ian only liked her because she wasn't one of the bitch kind of girls. And Nathan. What you did to Nathan just to spare your poor, slut of a sister's reputation.''
He screamed ''what did I do to Nathan? He tried to rape my sister then his mommy's lawyers got him out by ruining my sister!''
I asked ''were you there for Natasha Jones statement?''
He spat out ''no. My dad sent mom and I out of the room. He didn't want us to listen to a jealous girls bullshit. But Georgia told me the gist of it afterwards. And I didn't do jack shit to your sister! If she was unstable enough to change every thing about herself for a guy, then that's her fault, not mine, so don't you dare blame me for that.''
I yelled at him '' I used to be in love with you. The guy I thought you were. But God was kind enough to undeceive me. And I will thank him for it every day. Because I fell in love with a mirage. The real you disgusts me. So please, kindly get the hell out of my house. I was really and truly in love with you, until I found out the truth about you.''
He stormed out of my room, slamming the door behind him, crushing me heart alongside.