(Eva's Perspective)
I watch the soap bubbles swirl around me as I scrub at my cheeks.
The accumulation of dirt and sweat that had almost become a second layer of skin by now melted away into the tub, leaving a trail of murky water in its wake.
The bath water was steaming and it was quite numbing. I let myself sit there for a long time, letting the water erase the evidence of my journey.
Keeping my eyes shut tight, I lie back and breathe. It's as if all the anger has been drained out of me and now all there was left was a hollow feeling in my chest.
I would apologise to Nat for my actions, but I have no words for what came over me in those moments back there. Besides, she already understood me enough to excuse my behaviour.
But something gnawed at the back of my mind. I had never done such a thing before.
Yes, I had been angry or upset before. But I never let that rage control me.
I felt like there was something really wrong inside of me. Like I was broken in a way that I could possibly begin to understand.
My head throbbed just thinking about it all.
Stepping out of the tub, I watch all the dirt and grim spiral down the drain; a comets tail in a sea of soapy water.
The room I was to sleep in was small, at least small compared to the shared rooms back there.
There. I didn't even want to utter the name in my mind.
Inside the room was a clutter of bits and pieces. Mainly just storage items, but there was a bed and that was enough for me.
Natasha had brought up some clothes for me. They lay in a pile at the end of the bed.
I slipped into the nightgown, the soft cotton material feeling gentle as it hung on me.
When showing me to my room she had told me they kept clothes of all sorts around just in case so I wasn't surprised to see that everything fit me.
Once I was clean and dressed, I refolded the clothes that I had worn before. And out of the jacket that I'd bundled, I pulled out my stuffed turtle, hugging it to my cheek. The soft toy soothed me; it felt like home.
Home wasn't a place I came from or a building I was forced into. Not even this new and safe place could I call a home. Home was the soft reassurance and familiarity of a favourite old toy. That was home.
I take the turtle with me when I go back downstairs to the main floor.
From my point of view I can see Natasha at the kitchen table, organising papers or documents of some kind.
I announce my entrance with a small shuffle of my feet on the floor.
Natasha looks up at me curiously.
"Not tired?" She asks gently as if one loud voice could send me spiralling into another fit of rage. But there was no more fire left in me.
I shook my head, seating myself beside her.
In truth, I was exhausted. But I knew I couldn't go to sleep yet. There were still questions I had, there were still things plaguing my thoughts.
And I wanted to wait for Clint to come home.
"What are you doing?" I murmur, looking at the files on the table.
"All the information I have about me." She says eyeing the papers.
I scan the pages closest to me and read some of their contents.
"Wow" I whisper to myself as I read details about her past.
There were things about her childhood, a fire, the Soviet Intelligence, and even about her time in the Red Room.
I smile to myself a little as I read about some of the similarities we share.
"Ballet." I murmur; the one thing that I could say I truly loved in all the darkness that surrounded me.
I glance at her briefly and see that she has a faint smile too at that.
Then there are things about her life beyond training, the notes become more personal and more intimate. I stop reading.
"I don't want to pry into your background." I tell her, gently moving the papers away from my view.
"You aren't" she reassures me, "I just felt like there might be things in here that could help you."
I give her a half smile that doesn't quite reach my eyes.
I didn't think there was much that was going to help me at this rate.
I see her eyeing my turtle which I rest on my lap.
"Is that yours?" She inquires.
I nod, pulling the toy from my lap and placing it on the table in front of me.
"His name is Glavnaya. It means – "
"Home" she cuts me off. "Glavnaya is home."
I look back to the turtle, my fingers tracing the stitching around it.
"Well," She says as she glances over to clock on the kitchen wall, "I think we should get some sleep. Clint will be back in the morning."
I bite the inside of my cheek and say nothing.
Maybe I was worried about him. But that was silly, he was a spy. He can take care of himself.
I follow Natasha up the stairs and she leads me back to my room.
She picks up my old clothes and puts them in a basket in the hallway.
I pull out the bed's blankets and get in under the covers. It was a lot softer than I was used to.
My hand went instinctively up to the backboard. Nat watches me wordlessly.
Realising my mistake, I slowly bring my arm back to my chest, feeling something churning inside of me.
Natasha places her hand on top of my arm that I cradle.
"You won't have to do that ever again." She promises me, her eyes bore into mine.
I swallow the lump in my throat and avert my gaze.
"Goodnight Eva." She whispers on her way out.
I roll onto my side and hug my turtle as the light disappears with her.
For the next few minutes I lie there as still as possible and listen.
I listen to Nat walk to her room. Then a little while later I listen to her go back downstairs.
My eyes start to droop as sleep creeps in.
At one point I swore I could hear two voices, but I was pulled under before I could be certain.
The last thing I remember before succumbing to sleep was the sound of Glavnaya tumbling from the bed and landing on the floor.
(Clint's Perspective)
I was exhausted.
Resting my feet on the coffee table as I collapse onto the couch, I let my arms catch the cushions either side of me to keep me from slipping right to the floor.
"Tired?" I can hear Natasha say with a smirk in her voice.
I just groan unintelligibly as I shut my eyes.
"I told Eva." She tells me as she moves to sit next to me, shoving my arm out of the way.
I open my eyes and look at her.
The look in her eyes tells me everything.
"You told her about your past?" I confirm.
She nods and sighs audibly.
I move my hand to rest on her knee.
"Is she okay?" I ask.
"She had a bit of a meltdown. But she'll be alright. The kid's feeling a lot right now, it's better if we just let her express it rather than keep bottling it up all the time."
I silently agree with her.
"Are you okay?" I push.
It takes her a moment to answer.
"Yeah."
And we leave it at that.
We sit there discussing everything for what feels like hours.
I explain to her that I dropped off the designs and met with Director Fury who had asked for an explanation on Natasha's absence. I said that I told him that the Red Room brought back a lot of trauma and how we needed time to recuperate.
"They don't know about Eva do they?" She asks warningly.
I shake my head at her. "I didn't say a thing."
We both knew it was for the best to keep Eva a secret for a long as we can. There's no telling what SHIELD might do with her if they realise how valuable an asset she was.
We talked and talked through the night, fighting sleep as long as possible.
Then, when conversation ran dry, we both trudged up the stairs to sleep.
Nat went straight to her room while I head to the bathroom to shower.
The hot water soothed my aching muscles and I could've fallen asleep standing there. Eventually, I stepped out and got into my pyjamas.
I was heading back to my room when I heard her.
Eva.
I could hear her tossing around in her bed, something like a whimper escaping her lips.
A stuffed animal lay on the floor beside the bed. I pick it up as I went to her.
Her face was strained in a pained expression and her forehead was covered with a light sheen of sweat.
I didn't understand what she was saying but it wasn't hard to guess she was having a nightmare.
I wrap my arms around her shoulders and shake her lightly. She keep protesting in her sleep and the whimpering grew louder.
I shook her more forcefully and she suddenly flew up from her bed caught my arm in a twist to my back so that she had me pinned in front of her.
"Eva" I groan as she twists my arm.
Then as if snapped out by the sound of my voice, she drops my arm.
I turn around to face her, kneeling next to the bed she had previously occupied.
Her face is a mixture of surprise and horror.
"I'm sorry" She chokes out in her shock.
She backs away from me, looking for something to run to.
I quickly catch her wrists.
"Hey" I stop her, "It's okay, shh, it was just a nightmare. It was an accident."
Lowering her wrists, I watch her expression relax into something more upset than fearful.
She jumps for me, caging me in a tight hug that wraps around my neck.
I can feel her trembling as I hold her tightly.
This hug was different than the one she last gave me. That one was urgent and unsure. This one was so full of emotion that I was struck by it.
I held her until she calmed right down and then I lay her back on the bed.
Picking up the stuffed animal I had dropped when she grabbed me, I gave it to her and watched her hug it tightly.
I sat at the edge of the bed as she got comfortable.
"I know you've been through a lot," I tell her, "but I just want you to know that we won't hurt you okay. You're going to be safe here. Just remember that those nightmares aren't real and you are safe with us."
"Thank you" She whispers hoarsely back.
I lightly kiss her temple and tuck her in.
Backing out of the room, I leave the door open a crack to let the light in.
That way, I thought to myself, she won't feel so alone in the dark here.
Walking back to my room, I rub my arm.
Jeez, for a tiny little thing, she sure knows how to pin you down.
I had to admit, I was impressed. Then I snickered.
It was just like trying to sneak up on Nat. The kid had toughness to her that she shared with Natasha. I then moaned internally; those two were no doubt going to gang up on me with their spidery skills.
I'll have to look out for those two, I shake my head in anticipation.
Who knows what they'll get up to.