"No," Amisty growled, her hands trembling as she struggled not to tear the letter in two. Even though she knew there was no way she could do it.
She tried burning his letter three days after the article being posted. One letter made it into the fire before she broke and tore it out.
Hermione found her in the common room at midnight, surrounded by letters and crying in front of the destroyed one. She silently repaired the letter, collected the rest, and guided her up to the dormitory.
"No," She repeated, throwing the letter to the floor at glaring furiously at her dad. "Get out, Malfoy."
The corner of his mouth twitched downward, and his eyes flashed, but other than that his face remained impassive.
"Amisty, you are going to talk to him," Noel ordered, getting up from his seat and collecting the now cold tea. "And you are going to do it politely. He is a guest in this house and will be treated as such. I'm locking the door until you work this out. Good luck, Draco."
And with that, he left the room, the faint sound of the lock clicking in place echoing in her ears.
"What are you doing here?" She snarled, still blatantly refusing to look at him, head turned to the side as her eyes blazed.
"Trying to talk to you," He replied calmly. "I knew there was no chance of me being able to talk to you if I didn't do something -- "
"If you didn't trick me again?" She broke in, furious.
"Amisty -- "
"You know, if you really cared about me you would know that this was not the time to try and talk to me," She seethed.
"And because I care about you I know that if I didn't do this you would go on ignoring me until you forgot I existed," His voice broke slightly. "And I don't want you to forget me."
"Boo hoo! You're going to be forgotten by someone for the first time in your privileged life! What a tragedy!" She shouted, stomping so hard a few of the photographs on the mantel shook.
"That's not -- " He glared for a millisecond before seeming to regain his composure. "I'm trying to talk here, Amisty."
"How well is that going for you, huh? You should know better than anyone that talking things out never goes well with me. But," She tapped her chin sarcastically, looking up at the ceiling, "of course, you don't really care, do you?"
She knew that she was being unreasonable. That she was being overly antagonistic. But she wanted him to react.
To shout and yell and lash out and get angry.
Something.
Anything.
"I've already told you that I care about you, Amisty," He replied, infuriatingly calm.
"Blah, blah, blah. Go back to your Slytherin friends and go gossip about me some more, why don't you? Go tell them all about poor, pathetic Amisty River and how upset she got over you visiting her! Or, better yet, go run off to the Prophet about me being a Wolf Born and tell the whole wizarding world what a freak I am since you CLEARLY WANT TO DESTROY MY LIFE!" She screamed, fists clenched so hard she was losing circulation to her fingers.
"I would never tell anyone anything you didn't want people to know," He insisted.
"STOP LYING TO ME!"
"I'm not lying!" He took a step forward, voice growing even gentler, softer. "You just won't listen."
"AND I WONDER WHY THAT IS? MAYBE BECAUSE THE ONE PERSON I TRUSTED WITH MY WHOLE LIFE RAN OFF AND DECIDED THAT A PETTY PRANK WAS WORTH BREAKING MY HEART!" She screeched, magic sparking at her fingertips.
That seemed to crack his calm exterior.
"For once in your life, Amisty River, will you listen to someone other than yourself?" He growled lowly.
"I did, once," She spat out bitterly. "Look where it got me."
"How many times do I have to tell you that I never told anyone anything! I don't know who told Skeeter, I don't even know how she knew about the lake!" He took another step forward, but Amisty was so furious she didn't even notice.
"How many times do I have to tell you that I no longer believe a single thing you say?" She snarled. "I really thought you had changed, but you really are a Malfoy at heart."
"I am not my father," He glared at her, his voice rising.
"And I'm not a Wolf Born," She shot back sarcastically, rolling her eyes.
"Amisty River!" Noel shouted from across the cabin, his voice scalding.
She winced.
"Sorry," She muttered, not sounding very sorry at all.
He took another step, "Will you finally keep your mouth shut so I can talk to you like a normal human being?"
"Why keep my mouth shut?" She countered, raising an eyebrow. "You could add some more gossip to the Prophet -- "
"Silencio!"
Her mouth was moving, but no sound was coming out. A hand went to her throat, and she stared at him, certain she had lost her mind.
And then she went to scream at him and no sound came out at all. Not even a squeak. She fumed.
She wished she could yell.
Another step.
"Now, since you can't interrupt me now," He sounded incredibly pleased with himself, which angered her to no end, "I might as well continue."
Another step.
"Since that letter was entirely useless, I might as well start from the beginning."
Another step.
"I fancied you since first year, Amisty. When I finally worked up the courage to write to you I was certain you'd never reply, so when you did I was ecstatic. I could barely keep from shouting at the top of my lungs that I managed to get something other than an insult from you.
"And then when I learned you liked me back, well, that was the best day of my entire life. It was a wonder I hadn't kissed you right then and there, but," He gave a dry laugh, "I guess that chance has passed."
Another step.
"You made me so happy, every single day. Your letters always made me smile, no matter how prissy you were being in them. And when you smiled, or laughed, I had never seen someone more beautiful in my life. The little things. The way your eyes glow in the dark, the way the gold sparkles when you're happy, the tiny smile you only have when you've been complimented, the way your tongue sticks out when you're focusing on something, the way your teeth are pointed at the edges. The tilt of your chin when we're arguing so you're taller, how there's always some type of gold in your outfit, when you tap your foot when you're being impatient... I could go on forever."
"When that article came out, I -- " He swallowed, blinking, "I was so furious. I couldn't believe it. And when... when I realized you'd be reading it, what you'd be thinking. I... well, I had no idea what to do. I shouted at Pansy for hours, shouted at anyone who muttered even the slightest insult aimed at your direction, sent every letter I could to the Ministry begging for them to stop printing it only for them to tell me it was Skeeter's 'artistic liberty' to write whatever she wants."
Another step.
"It really is all my fault, really. I should never have left those letters out in such an easy place. I should never have met with you unless I knew there was absolutely no chance of anyone seeing us. But I didn't take that extra precaution and I take full blame for everything. It's my fault your life is... is ruined, and it's my fault that I messed up this relationship.
"You never have to forgive me, you never have to even look at me for the rest of your life. I just... I want you to know that you're the best thing that's ever happened to me."
He reached out his hand, so close that if he moved it just a centimeter he would be brushing her shoulder.
She could feel it.
The heat, the familiar presence over her shoulder, the shy hesitation.
She wished her vision would stop going blurry.
He dropped his hand, and she wished she didn't feel so cold.
She wished she could believe him.
He looked away, running a hand through his already messy platinum blond hair, "Finite Incantatem."
Amisty didn't speak. She couldn't speak. She had turned away as soon as he had started talking. A childish response to the Silencing Charm.
Fitting.
"I..." His voice broke again and he cleared his throat. "I guess I'll be taking my leave now."
She stood there, still trying to make her brain work. He was almost at the door when --
"Malfoy..."
He didn't stop.
"Draco, please."
He turned back to her, and the blatant pain in his silver eyes burned more than any amount of articles in the world.
His mask had dropped, and the rawness of it stung.
She wished she could run and hug him tight.
"I think -- " She closed her eyes, already hating herself for what she was about to do. But she had to. It was the only way she could protect herself. "I think you should have this."
She held out her hand, the golden ring reflecting the sunlight in a morbidly cheerful way as it sat in the middle of her palm.
Her heart dropped to her shoes at the broken expression that spread across his face, at the way his eyes darkened and glittered with unshed tears, how his mouth went tight and his throat moved as he forced down a swallow.
"Right," He nodded stiffly, taking it from her with a forced sense of calm and slipping it into his pocket.
Her knees felt weak as she walked away, her throat incredibly tight and eyes burning.
"Draco -- " She forced out.
"Go, Amisty, just go," He replied softly, sounding so utterly shattered she wished she was less of a coward.
So much for being a Gryffindor.
"I'll -- I'll see you around."
"I love you."
He didn't reply.
"I love you, too."
Noel unlocked the door, his face very still as he stood off to the side. Amisty nodded shortly to him as she fled, cloak long forgotten.
She made it to the edge of the forest before she transformed.
She really wished she hadn't heard Draco start to cry.
-=+=-
Hours later, Noel found her.
Sitting in the middle of a clearing, paws covering her muzzle and tear tracks flattening the black fur under her eyes. Icicles growing from the long strands of fur, frost settling on top of her paws and head, dusting her in white.
It would have been a pretty sight if not for the shattered aspect of her appearance.
The familiar weight of the beautiful collar around her neck was just another painful reminder of her stupid, stupid decision.
Which decision was the stupid one, she couldn't decide.
He had murmured the incantation, turning the wolf back to the girl. It was worse that way, in his mind. Seeing how tight her arms were wrapped around herself as if that were the only thing keeping her from breaking apart at the seams.
How her gaze was determinedly away from the bracelet dangling from her reddened wrist.
How her fingers kept reaching for the ring that was no longer there.
She wasn't shivering from the cold, that was for certain.
Gently, carefully, he wrapped her up in her cloak and then his own, cradling her to his chest in the way only a father can, and carried her back to his cabin.
He placed her on the couch, the fire blazing and bringing warmth back to her.
Not that it would thaw the numbness.
He forced her to eat, to drink Pepperup, to bathe, to get into warmer, drier clothes. He brushed the snow out of her hair, washed away the tear stains on her cheeks, healed the scratches on her wrist from a bracelet she couldn't escape.
He held her close, held her tight, whispered reassurances in her ear, tried desperately to get her to say something.
"Is he okay?" She murmured at last, broken and worried.
Noel opened his mouth and then closed it.
He shook his head, wishing he was a better liar as she curled up tight against his chest and sobbed until his shirt was soaked through.
Sobbed until her throat hurt and her eyes burned and her nose ran and it felt as if she couldn't make any more tears.
And then sobbed until she fell asleep.
He carried her up to his bed and tucked her under the covers, smoothing the tangled hair away from her distressed face. He sat down at the foot of the bed, making sure she didn't fall a victim to a nightmare.
Amisty River wouldn't be returning to the castle that night.
No one questioned why after seeing Draco Malfoy trudging back to the Slytherin common room with none of his usual confidence.
The silver wolf had visited, settling down next to Noel, its eyes sad as it watched on.
"Look, Echo," He murmured softly, exhausted. "Our little girl's all grown up, now."
The wolf nodded solemnly, climbing up so she curled up at Amisty's feet. A bit of the distress faded from her expression.
And then, a silver porcupine joined them, pressing her nose to Noel's cheek and sitting down at Amisty's side, her dark brown eyes soft as she watched over the child she loved as her own.
For the first time, the River family was together, looking only to make sure their daughter was safe from whatever may come her way.
A/N: *sobbing as I run away* DON'T KILL ME YET THE SHIP ISN'T DEAD... IT JUST... the water got a little rocky, that's all. Not sunk yet, not destroyed yet, just a little rough. Not going anywhere, just going through a lot. TL;DR, don't kill me it'll all end up okay, in the end, we just need angst and drama because the story was getting a little boring. Thanks for reading, I have to go run and make sure my friends can take care of my funeral.