It Started with Heartbreak
I felt my mouth go dry; my legs frozen in place as with each thundering heart beat I tried to comprehend what my eyes took in. How could this be happening? When I’d pictured how this evening would go I had a hundred scenarios playing in my mind, preparing me for whatever would come, but this… this was something I hadn’t planned for. And how could I have. Never, not once would I have guessed that the scene before me could happen – would ever happen.
I tried to swallow the anxiety I felt welling up inside, but my mouth felt like the Sahara desert. I knew I should move, make my presence known, but still my legs would not move. It was as if my feet had been affixed to the floor and no matter how much I tugged I could not break free.
I just stared at the other two figures in the room, not sure if I should say something or not. But what would I say? How could I possible find the right words, when I didn’t understand, when my mind wouldn’t allow me to?
And that’s when my eyes found his face and I knew I had to say something, I knew I had to get some answers no matter what was said.
As if an energy source, one I never knew I had, broke my from my immovable trance, I felt my legs suddenly come to life. Concentrating on putting one foot in front of the other, my eyes never left his face. I felt like a moth to a flame as he drew me in, pulling me closer.
“Scott,” it came out in a croaky whisper, filled with emotion.
Scott’s eyes met mine. I saw surprise in them and recognition. He came no closer to me; his eyes just stared at me blankly. I could feel the other occupant’s eyes on me now too and knew they must render surprise at my presence. But I didn’t care about that. I needed to hear this from Scott, needed the answers from him.
“What’s going on here?”
He never said a word. His eyes continued to stare at me. I could see the aggrieved look in his eyes and all I wanted was to throw my arms around him and offer him what comfort I could, but I knew he would never allow me that simple pleasure.
Eventually the pain became too much and I had to avert my eyes. It felt as if his hurt, his sorrow had poured right into my soul. I could feel the unshed tears welling in my eyes and blinked trying to ward them off. I couldn’t let them fall, not matter how I ached for his part, I couldn’t let him see those tears, not when he clearly needed me to be strong.
My eyes scanned the room once more as the scene I’d walked into overtook me again.
His little work area was completely trashed. Paints thrown all over the floor, his chair splintered into pieces and his sculpture – the one he’d worked so hard on, the one he’d looked so proud of just last night – lay covering the floor in chunks. Looking down at my feet I saw what was a face staring up at me. It was a beautiful face, face that looked much like Scott’s.
I still didn’t know what to make of all of this, as a tear escaped my barrier for what I knew had been a masterpiece. I swiped it away with one swift move. I needed to be strong, needed the answers. I was about to ask Scott again what had happened when her shattered voice greeted my ears.
“What is she doing here, Scott?”
Still no reply. My attention turned to Jackie. Her eyes were swollen and red from her tears, her nose red and blotchy.
Why was Jackie crying? Had there been an accident with the sculpture? It was the only explanation I had for the sight before me. Scott certainly couldn’t have destroyed it. He was so proud of what he’d done. There was just no way of that happening.
“He invited me.” I answered Jackie when I saw Scott was offering nothing. “He wanted me to see his…” I trailed off unable to say the word.
When I looked at Scott again my heart all but stopped. A tear, one single tear trickled down his cheek. Over these past weeks I’d gotten to know Scott pretty good. I’d been privileged to get to know the boy who’d grown to be a young man too early in his life. I knew he wasn’t one to cry, knew he’d see this as a sign of weakness. So when I saw that one tear, that single drop, I knew there had be more to it then just an accident of his sculpture breaking.
Before I could stop myself I was at his side, griping his arm. “Scott, talk to me. What’s going on? You’re starting to scare me.”
Scott glared at me. The cold stone look made me want to flinch, but I held my ground. That stare wasn’t directed at me, but what was it for?
With his free arm he wiped the tear away and sniffed, ripping his arm from my hold and turned to face me, staring squarely into my eyes.
“You want to know what’s wrong, huh? You want to know why all of this is happening?” his voice rose with every question, as he pointed to the destruction in the room.
“Scott, don’t do this. She doesn’t know what’s going on.” I heard Jackie plea with a tremor to her voice.
He laughed, mirthlessly as he took in what Jackie said, his unpleasantly cold eyes never leaving mine. “Doesn’t know what’s going on. Yeah, that’s something I can relate to.” he swung around so suddenly to stare angrily at Jackie. “I don’t know what’s going on either, isn’t that right, Aunt Jackie?”
I froze with shock as he spat the last two words out. I looked from one to the other, my eyes as huge as saucers. They’re family? But… why didn’t he ever let me this?
“Aunt Jackie?” I questioned still stunned by this news.
Scott turned back to me again. “Oh, didn’t I mention she’s my Aunt.” He said sarcastically. “Well, I guess now you know.” He looked at Jackie again. “She’s my lying, bitch of an Aunt.”
“Scott!” I chastised, “She’d your family. You should be saying things like that.”
“Like hell I can’t.” he retorted angrily, “She kept her from me. She lied right to my face when I asked about her. Maybe you should have kept lying about her.”
“Scott,” Jackie sobbed. “I thought I was doing the right thing.”
“For whom? Certainly not for me.” he yelled.
“Yes for you.”
“Doesn’t seem that way to me.” Scott threw back. “You had no right, no right at all to keep her from me.”
Jackie opened her mouth to say something, but promptly closed it again. Tears ran unchecked down her cheeks as she stared at her nephew.
I was so lost. Who was this ‘her’ Scott kept referring to and what did it have to do with his sculpture?
“Scott, what’s going on? Why didn’t you ever tell me about Jackie being your Aunt? Who is this person you keep taking about?”
“You want to know who she is?” he asked in a deadly whisper and all I could do was nod. He walked up to me, his face only a few inches from mine as he stared intently into my eyes. “The ‘her’ I’m referring to is – was… my mother.”
I gasped, unable to fully process his words. ‘Was’ the one three letter word that hung in the tense, charged air. I felt my heart break for the young man who I could now see raged because of the mother he’d lost.
“I’m so sorry, Scott.” I tried to reach out to him, but he avoided my offer of comfort as I knew he would.
“I don’t want your sympathy.”
“What happened – with her a mean?” I couldn’t bring myself to say mother.
He smiled, but not the sexy one I’d become so accustomed to. No this one was cold, detached. It frightened me to see this side to him. I knew Scott had issues when it came his mother, but this was a whole new ball game, one I definitely wasn’t used to. I wanted to shrink away from his, but I held my ground.
“It seems my drug addict mother thought it was easier to take her own life than try and get better so she could see her own son.” He relayed coldly.
I didn’t know what to say. I’ve always known the right words and the right action when it came to intense moments, but this was something even my over analytical mind couldn’t solve.
“Scott, I’m sure she tried really hard to-”
“Don’t spin that crap at me!” he spat out in a rage. “My mother was didn’t love me. She never did.”
In his rage Scott took up the face, the only remaining whole piece of the sculpture. Bringing it over his head he yelled out as he through it at the wall, the hardened clay smashing into a million tiny pieces. Both Jackie and I yelled out in fright. My eyes closed for a brief second as I heard the loud crashing sound.
My eyes found Scott, the tears escaped from his dark eyes, as he swept them away. I stood there unblinking at the enraged form of the guy I cared so deeply for. How had this night gotten so messed up?
Scott pulled out the old photograph from his pocket and looked at it with disgust. For a millisecond I saw his eyes soften only to turn back to the fathomless void, as he tore at the one memory he still had left of the happier times he and his mother had shared.
“No, Scott!” I jumped to stop him, but it was too late. The picture was torn into pieces within a matter of seconds and thrown to the floor, mixed with the pieces of dust already littered there from the sculpture.
“She never gave a damn about me, so I guess it’s my turn not to give a damn about her.”
I tried to stop him, tried to get him to confide in me, but he slipped from my fingers as he dashed out the door.
“Scott, wait –” I yelled, but he as gone. I was about to make my move to follow him when I felt a hand grip my arm.
I turned to see Jackie. “Let him go.”
“No, he needs my help.” I protested, but her grip held firm.
“Right now he needs to be alone, to deal with this the way he knows how.”
“But I want to help him.” I felt the tears roll down my cheek. How could I stand here and do nothing when he was hurting so? He didn’t need to go through this alone – he shouldn’t go through this alone. “I need to help him, Jackie.”
“I know. Believe me; I want to do this same thing. But Scott…” she trailed off
“He won’t accept it.”
She looked at me then as I wiped the tears from my eyes. “You really care about him, don’t you?”
“More than I can say.”
She nodded. “Thank you.”
“For what?”
“Just for being a friend to him.”
I shrugged. “Scott’s a great guy. He’s just had some bad things happen in his life.”
I looked to the door he’d only moments disappeared through. Every fibre in my being wanted to race after him, but I knew Jackie was right. Scott needed some alone time. He’d dealt with so many things on his own, with his mother never being around and his father never being emotionally available, I knew he’d gone through everything in his life alone. It really was the only way he knew how to deal.
I felt a hand on my shoulder. “Give him some time. He’ll come around.”
I just nodded. I still couldn’t believe that this woman was Scott’s Aunt and I had no idea about it. There was just so much I wanted to ask her, but I knew this wasn’t the right time.
“Was…” I started, hesitating, “was Scott’s mom your sister or are you related through his dad?”
“Janine was my sister, my big sister.” I saw Jackie’s lower lip tremble, but she kept it together.
“I’m so sorry for your loss.”
She offered me a wane smile. “Thank you,”
She was eyeing me again, making me feel slightly uncomfortable.
“I still can’t believe it worked.”
I looked at her confused by this sudden statement. “What worked?”
“My assignment.”
Okay, I’m still lost. “What do you mean?”
She walked about the room, surveying the damage. I thought she wouldn’t answer me when suddenly she spoke. “Janine was always full of life. My entire family was always into art, it is how Janine and I had gotten into it in the first place.” I frowned, trying to figure out how this related to the question I’d asked, but I didn’t interrupt. “We always knew Janine would go far with her art, so when she announced her engagement to Trent, Scott’s father, when she was only twenty-two, to say we were all shocked would be an understatement.”
If she was the complete opposite of Jackie then I could get what she was saying.
“My parent’s felt that Janine was getting married to young and too soon, but being Janine, she wouldn’t listen to them.” She turned and looked at me, leaning against the table for support. “So she got married and two years later had Scott.”
She had a far away look in her eyes as a warm smile spread cross her face. Clearly the memory of Scott’s birth was a warm one.
“Oh, anyone who saw her with Scott would know how much she loved him. She was a good mom to him, until a few months before she left.” Jackie’s face suddenly became sad. “I could see the signs. Janine always had a restless soul, I’d always hoped that Scott would be the cure for that, but I guess I was wrong.”
“Scott told me that she’d contact him, told him that she’d wanted them to live together. Was that ever true?” I asked, hoping that there was one thing that had been true for Scott’s sake.
She shrugged. “Who know but Janine. Part of me believes that she wanted to make an effort with him, but then she never had.”
“So how did she get involved with… the…”
“Drugs?” she offered. “One of her many boyfriends. He’d gotten her hooked, but Janine was so far gone that when we’d tried to offer her help she wouldn’t take it. It was only until a few months ago when she came to me, she’d been at her lowest point, really wanting to change her life. She wanted to get to know Scott. She missed him. I’d truly believed that she’d get better for him. I booked her in a rehab, but I wasn’t sure how things would turn out so I didn’t tell Scott, for his own good. She’d been doing so well. I was going to tell Scott about her, maybe even take him for a visit, but then the doctor called…”
“Poor Scott. Is it true about his father being so… distant?”
“Yes, unfortunately. After Janine left Trent changed. He loved her so much. I think he would have done anything to get her back.” She sighed looking haggard. “But things change and they did when he saw Janine after she’d been on drugs.”
I gasped. “How? When?”
“Scott was spending the summer with us, at my parent’s place. He spent every summer with them since he was five. Janine came by the house, demanding to see him. It was the first time my parent’s and I saw her like… that. Trent was there and he accused my parents of helping her. Things were said and since then they hardly see Scott.” Jackie was silent for a second when she gazed at me. “Something died in Trent that day and Scott suffers for it.”
A tear slide down my cheek. I knew Scott had family troubles, but this, everything Jackie just told me, helped me understand the true depth of the hurt he felt.
“I never knew.” I whispered.
“How could you. Scott isn’t exactly forthcoming when it comes to his feelings. Still what he has told you is the most he’d ever shared with anybody before.”
And that’d when it dawned on me, what she said about the assignment working. “You planned this.” I accused. “You planned this assignment specifically for Scott, hoping he would confide in his partner.”
Jackie looked guilty, which she should be. I wasn’t angry though. Truthfully, if she hadn’t done this, I would never have realised what a great guys Scott is. I wouldn’t have the feelings I have for him now either. If anything I want to hug Jackie for her meddlesome ways.
She looked at me sheepishly. “Guilty. But I did it for a good reason. I’d watched you two together, seen the chemistry between you two,” this made me blush, “and the way you fought. I knew if there was one person who could get under his skin it was you, Aria. I’m sorry I interfered, but I had good intentions.”
I sighed. I knew she was right. “As strange as it might seem I’m actually glad you forced us together.”
“Forced seems like such a negative word.” I rolled my eyes at this. And we have our old Jackie back. “I prefer to look at it as match making.”
I laughed. “Well you have a good eye.”
She smiled and this time it actually reached her eyes. “Thank you, Aria. Not only for the compliment, but for everything you’ve helped Scott through. I see a lot of your influence in him.”
I smiled and looked at the door again. “Do you think he’s okay?”
“Why don’t you go and find out?”
I turned to see the encouraging look in her eyes. I picked up the jean I’d dropped to the floor earlier in my state of shock and went to hug Jackie. “I’m really sorry. Your sister sounded like such a great person.”
“She would have loved you.”
With one last smile I left.
***
I had no clue where to find Scott; just letting my feet carry me along as I got lost in the tragic story that was Scott’s life. I considered myself truly blessed to have the loving, supportive family I do.
I wasn’t sure how but I was able to unknowingly find him. I stood at a distance, watching him skip rocks on the slow lapping waters. Even as I stood at the end of the pier, a few feet away from him, I could see how his shoulder sagged. The weight of his mother’s death and everything that had happened before was truly getting to him. I wish I could read his thoughts, just so I could help better understand what he was going through.
With a heavy heart I walked up to him. I still wasn’t too sure what I would say to him. I knew the moment he became aware of my presence. I saw it in the way his shoulder tensed and his back stiffened.
I stood behind him and laid a comforting hand on his shoulder. He shrugged it off immediately. Not completely unexpected. We stood there for several minutes, his back facing me as he continued to look out across the waters. I tried numerous times to open my mouth and offer him what comforting words I could find, but none came out.
“What do you want, Aria?” his voice was detached, I shuddered.
“I’m so sorry about your mom, Scott.” I said in a whisper.
“I don’t need your sympathy. She wasn’t really a mother to me.”
I stepped closer to him. “She might not have been, but she was still your mom. If you ever want to talk, I’m here for you.” my hand enveloped his, but he rejected what warmth I could give in this time of darkness.
“I don’t want to talk.” He said. I could hear the distinct sound of his teeth grinding as he struggled for restraint.
“Fine we don’t have to talk. I’ll just sit here with you if you need. You’re my friend, Scott I’ll help in whatever way I can.”
He laughed, but there was no humour in the sound. For the first time since I found him here, he turned to look at me. His black eyes were so frosty, they made me shiver.
“Friend? You want to be my friend?”
“Well, I am your friend, Scott and I’m –”
“Friendship is the last thing on your mind when you look at me, Aria.”
I blushed. “This wasn’t… exactly how I pictured telling you how I… feel.”
So he knew how I felt about him. That was good. At least now we could take a step forward.
“Well, you can save your breathe, it would just be wasted on me.”
I frowned at his cold words. “I don’t understand. I know you feel the same way, at least a little. I felt it last night when you took me on that picnic and this morning when you kissed me.”
He laughed again, the sound made me shuddered. “What you felt is nothing more than an act.”
“What?” It came out in a murmur.
“I’ve been pretending to like you, Aria so I can get into your pants. You’ve been nothing but a conquest to me.”
I shook my head in horror. “No… you’re lying.”
“Am I?” he questioned. “Look into my eyes and tell me if I am.”
The lack of feeling I saw there was like an ice pick that stab into my already bleeding heart.
“I never felt anything for you but physical attraction.” He kept stabbing.
“But I felt…” I remembered the way he looked at me, the way his eyes watched me with tenderness in them, the way he held me like I was the most fragile thing on earth, the way his heart beat beneath my fingers and that’s when I knew, “You’re lying to me. You’re just saying this to push me away.”
Anger masked his face as a grunt escaped his lips. “What’s it going to take for you to believe, huh?” he gripped my shoulders fiercely, shaking me. “All those things I’ve did, the way I was trying to get you to open up, always getting you alone, getting you to trust me, those stolen kisses; all of it was done with one goal in mind.”
I shook my head, numb right to my core. How could this be? Looking at the guy before me I knew this wasn’t my Scott.
My…
What a fool I’ve been. He wasn’t my Scott, he never was. Everything we’d ever had had been based on a lie.
“Of course,” he continued, “you were all too eager. I’m sure with the way you looked at me earlier, if I’d only made the move you would have dropped you pants right there and then. Maybe I still have a shot. Come give us a kiss.”
He pushed his lips forcefully to mine. These weren’t the kisses we shared beneath the stars or in the privacy of the storeroom. He pushed his body against mine, rubbing up against me. But before he could get any further my mind kicked into action and I pushed him away. Of its own accord, my hand whipped across his face.
I stood frozen unable to believe I’d just struck him, but a part of my mind knew he deserved it and so much more.
He glared at me angrily, his chest rising and falling as his fist lay clinched tightly at his sides. I returned his stares with equal measure, hurt and anger swirling up inside my like I’d never felt before. Tears welled in my eyes, but I blinked them back. I wouldn’t give him the satisfaction of seeing me cry. I wouldn’t let him see how much his words and actions had affected me.
“I feel sorry for you, Scott. Not because of your mom, but ‘cause no matter what you do, you’ll always be a jackass who will lose everything because you won’t let go of your hate.”
I stood staring at him for a second longer, hoping the message would sink in. I turned, about to storm off, when I realised I still had his jeans in my hands. Whirling around, I tossed the pants with as much force as I could at him.
“Take you damn jeans. I hope they’ll love you when nobody else does.”
Without another word I took off, running as fast as I could away from the pain, away from the guy who I cared about and broke my heart. I ran until I reached my room and with one swift motion I had the door open and was leaning against it after I’d slammed it shut.
My chest heaved as I breathed erratically, focusing all my attention of the burning in my lungs. I wouldn’t allow myself to think about the other pain in my chest, wouldn’t allow myself to think about the guy I’d left by the lake. I just concentrated on my breathing and my burning lungs. They were easier to deal with and hurt so much less.
It was only the violent shaking that broke my concentration. My eyes focused on the figure before me, as I look in the worried face of my best friend Riana.
“Aria? Talk to me. What happened?” she rattled on in concern.
“He – he…”
“He what? What did Scott do to you?”
My eyes focused on her again and that’s when I felt it, the wave of pain I’d been holding at bay couldn’t be stopped any longer. “He broke m-my h-heart.” I fell to the ground, landing on my knees, as the images of the past hour played on repeat, faster and faster in my head, threatening to overwhelm me. I broke into violent sobs as my heart crumbled to a million pieces.
***
So this was an emotional rollercoaster lol! I bet some of you weren’t expecting this or maybe you were but not completely, am I right?
So comments are welcome. I’m hoping to be on a regular uploading schedule, so I’ll try and post at least twice a week.
Oh and I’m thinking of adding a cast. I have all my characters, expect Aria. I’m not sure who; I think I’m being too picky. If you have any suggestions they are all welcome.
Thanks for reading guys. Hope you enjoyed :)