where did we all go wrong?
"You're late."
Oh, how much I wanted to blame it on the boy who needed to be at his six p.m math class but forgot his water bottle at my apartment and made me go and get it.
"Sorry." I give my art teacher a forced smile, "It won't happen again."
Painting wasn't my strong suit but Jungkook said I needed something to distract myself. Apparently isolating myself for weeks on end and watching cheesy rom-coms whilst eating large amounts of takeout food 'wasn't healthy.'
As I take a seat and set my canvas bag down, I notice that my usual partner isn't here. Lee Gayeon, popular liberal arts major with a peculiar style and a massive ego. She's usually the one that helps me jump out from reality and into some sort of dream. All of her stories are pretty livid, so it helps.
I turn to the art student a few seats away from me and ask, "Where's Gayeon?"
The student shrugs and she starts sketching something on her canvas, "I don't know. Something about not having the best grades to graduate and become the second female to win the Fields Medal."
That definitely sounded like Gayeon so I decided to just shrug off her absence and get to sketching the fruit on the center. But I was only an apple in when I couldn't function anymore.
Kim Taehyung walked through the door with his hair messy and his body clothed in khaki pants and a grey t-shirt that was covered by a dark beige coat. He looked— oh whatever. You can probably imagine how he looked with his head held high and his shoulders broad, confidence completely transfixing everyone in the room.
"Hello? Who are you?" Madame Areum, also known as our art teacher, walks to the confident boy who wears a grin.
"Kim Taehyung," They shake hands, "This is my first class."
She turns to the empty seat beside me, and I can't stop my racing heartbeat, "You can sit there for the time being."
He trudged over to the empty seat and settled down once Madame Areum clapped for our attention. The boy set his bag down and his eyes fluttered over to the middle-aged woman in the center of the room.
I set my pencil down against my easel and the roaring of my heartbeat only got louder. Why is it that the universe wants to punish me like this? Is it because I accidentally deleted Jungkook's prerecorded episodes of Fight My Way? He did say I was going to regret it one day.
"Don't look so shocked, Soo. This is purely a coincidence." Taehyung's whisper fills my ear as I attempt to keep my eyes focused on Madame Areum, who is explaining something about pastels and smudges.
I turn to face him, cheeks heavy with heat, and hands sweaty from nerves.
"Shocked? Who said I was shocked?"
He turns to face me with a lopsided grin that I wanted to desperately wipe off his face. Screw feeling bad about Taehyung feeling like shit around me. I don't think it's even possible for him to feel anything other than a overflowing sense of confidence. He was too confident with his charms. Screw the bastard that looks like he came straight out of Jungkook's anime's.
"I know we ended badly, but I've let it go. You can just ignore me and then it won't be so bad right?" Taehyung's hands started to dig into his bag and he pulled out a pencil and turned away once again.
Screw him.
Scoffing, I turn back to my canvas and start sketching again. Now that I've found my spark of anger towards him, he'll be so much easier to ignore.
—
"Ara? Can you collect the paintbrushes?" Madame Areum gently tapped on my shoulder as I finished up the last of my painting.
Apparently today we were working on watercolor paint instead of pastel. I stood up and started collecting brushes, but I purposefully avoided getting Taehyung's first. He could wait. As I collected wet paint brushes, Taehyung finished up his painting and once I reached him, I so desperately wanted to do what Jungkook did whenever an anime killed a good character. Scream.
"I like your painting. Maybe work on brush strokes more?" He handed me his brushes and I couldn't stop the scowl that fell upon my face.
Kim Taehyung was a jackass.
I headed towards the sink and started gently washing the brushes, being careful not to ruin them. If I did, Madame Areum would kill me in front of the entire class.
Students slowly started to shuffle out and I saw a hand place another brush in the sink.
"Thanks." I mumbled, hands gently rubbing at some paint that had stained the stick of the paint brush.
"No problem." The voice responded.
I looked up, recognizing that stupid voice.
"Why didn't you just give me the brush when I was collecting them?" I questioned, keeping my hands busy as the water ran. I would hate to waste water especially in these times of crises.
Taehyung shrugged, "I just wanted to see you again. See you around, Ara."
That cocky mother—
"Are, be more gentle." Madame Areum interrupted my train of thought.
I nodded and turned back to face the sink.
—
"Alright. I bring chocolate cookies, jajangmyeon, and coke. What are we watching today?" I stride into Jungkook's dorm with my hands full and my canvas bag bouncing against the side of my stomach.
As I look up, I see Jungkook's messy living room, his even messier kitchen, and dirty stained floors. God, this kid was living in a pigsty.
Jungkook ran up to help me with groceries as soon as he noticed I was here and I couldn't stop staring at the cardboard boxes at the front of the room.
"What are you packing?" I ask as I set down a bag on his small kitchen table.
He gently rolls up his hoodie sleeves and turns towards the boxes, "Just some pictures and other stuff that remind me of Jimin. I'm finally doing a spring cleaning."
"First of all its winter," I point out, "And second of all, I'm proud of you. You're finally moving on."
He gives me a sheepish smile and then grabs the box of chocolate chip cookies.
"Can I borrow some sweats? I got my jeans dirty and I can barely breathe in them."
He nods and makes his way to the cardboard boxes as I make my way towards his bedroom. Jungkook and I, despite our short time knowing each other, are extremely close. I met him when he was going through a lot of complicated shit and it's strange how our pain brought us together. He was a college student with parent issues and a complicated relationship with his boyfriend, and I was a college student with no love life and an apartment I worked two jobs to pay for. We both had our own struggles and the trust and vulnerability we showed each other helped us become good friends.
As I opened up his sweat drawer and pulled out some random black sweats at the top of his pile, I couldn't help but see the picture atop his dresser. It was a picture of him and a blonde haired Park Jimin. In black sharpie were the words "he breaks me tonight" at the corner of the page.
After I finish changing I grab the picture and head to the living room. My hands immediately let the picture fall into one of the cardboard boxes and Jungkook looks up as he finishes taping a box shut.
"I wanna keep that one." He says as I sit down and push aside plastic bags and comfy pillows, my legs comforted by the warmth of his sweats.
I furrow my eyebrows, "Why? Isn't that like the most painful picture you have?"
He shrugs and plucks it out from the box, "It could be great inspiration for a film."
I try to get comfortable but the amount of crap on Jungkook's couch prevents me from doing so, "Stop hoarding. It's only going to keep hurting you."
"I know," He sighs, "But getting rid of everything just seems wrong, you know? I gave him three years of my life and he was really important, is really important to me. I just don't want to forget, you know? I don't want to forget my greatest love and my worst heartbreak."
I give him a warm smile, "Let's watch anime?"
He shakes his head and stands up. His hands reach for the remote and he gives me a lopsided grin as he takes a seat, his hands pushing aside plastic bags, pillows, clothes, and shoes from atop couch.
"Actually, I was thinking of watching this really sad romance movie I found a few days ago. It has time travel in it."
I laugh, "Sure. I'm gonna get the jajangmyeon before it gets cold."