"Who did this to you?"
"You did."
Brinly pulls her jacket around her tightly as she casts her eyes down at her once hot cup of coffee that now sits cold. Her sweatpants bag around her fragile legs, hiding how much weight she had lost in the past eight months. A healthy body now is underweight and lacks real muscle.
Jules sits across the table clutching his mug as his eyes sweep across the woman before him. He almost did not recognize her but it was the small scar across her eyebrow that he knew who she was. Ten month of therapy program had truly changed Jules mentally and physically. Over the course of those months, he grew several inches taller and even managed to pack on muscle. He managed to get a haircut which is now slicked back with hair gel. Gone were the skinny leather pants and instead was a dark washed out jeans. The weed and obscene shirts were replaced band t-shirt allowing his tattoo covered-arms to flaunt all around.
After finding Brinly, a girl whom he had bullied since grade school, trying to kill herself, he vowed that he would change. He was no longer the abusive, daily drinking, delinquent young adult. Instead, he learned to turn towards music as a way of coping with his emotions. He even managed to build relationships out of positive aspects instead of negative. In fact he even realized that he indeed loved Brinly. He was afraid to show her how he truly felt due to social pressure so he played along with his group of friends because at least then he could socialize with her even if it meant that she grew afraid of him.
"Oh god."
The silence is deafening as Brinly sits in her chair as her heart pound in her chest at the thought of Jules sitting across from her. She did not know that he was coming home, for if she did, she would have stayed far away. When Jules had found her swallowing pills in her kitchen and forced her to throw up, she cried. She cried so hard that her chest hurt and snot dribbled down her nose. She hated how pathetic and weak she must have looked to him as he finally watched her crumple before him in violent sobs yet she didn't push him away as he held her.
It was only later when she had been taken to the hospital had he finally spoken to her. She was beyond ashamed and mortified as he sat in the chair opposite of her bed, clutching her suicide note. It was all she could do to not cower under his pitiful eyes. It was fake, it had to be. Even long after he had apologized and admitted himself to a therapy program out of the city, the pain and aftermath of years of bullying still remained.
"Brinly..." She looks away.
"I cannot imagine the years of pain that I put you through during high school. I shouldn't have done the things I did, but I did. You have every right to hate me. I just can't stand to see you still like this. If you don't forgive me, that is okay, I understand, but you can't be treating yourself like this."
"You don't understand..." She whimpers.
"I am going to be honest. I liked you, a lot. Yeah I know what you are thinking. If I liked you so much, why did I treat you so horribly? I didn't know why, but now I do. I was in a horrible place and I knew I didn't belong but it was all I knew. I feared the change and the idea of being shamed. Horrible, I know. I wanted to talk with you, and be with you, but was afraid of what my peers would think. So I followed along with them as they hurt you. At least then I could talk with you. I am so sorry."
Standing up abruptly, Brinly knocks the chair over startling Jules and other patrons. "S-S-Stop, I don't want or need your pity. You shouldn't have even stopped to talk to me. I will be leaving.
With trembling hands Brinly tosses enough money to cover her bill into her waitresses' hands as she walks at a nearby table. "K-Keep the change."
Her heart thrumming like drums in her ears, Brinly pushes her way out of the cafe. After years of torment, how could he possible think that everything has changed? Yet her heart felt something soar when he said that he liked her. How was that even possible? She hated him, right?
"Brinly wait!"
Ignoring Jules cries, she pushes on until her arm is grabbed and her back presses against the brick wall of a building. By now both of them are slightly panting. Jules stares down at Brinly. Even with tormented and clouded eyes, he could see her fighting internally. She was stronger than she thought.
"Just listen." She looks away but his hand tilts her face back to look at him. "I am not asking you to forgive me."
"Then what do you want?"
"Stop treating yourself so horribly. Stop hurting yourself because of what we did in high school. Stop acting like you are fine. We both know you aren't. Look at you Brinly. Hurting yourself because you are broken will only make the situation worse. Do not be afraid to fight for yourself. It is okay to cry, to scream, to be sad. What's not okay is what you are doing to yourself. You obviously aren't eating and if you are, it isn't much. What is that going to do Brinly? How is destroying yourself going to do anything?"
His question is met with silent tears are they fill Brinly's eyes, "Nothing Brinly. It is going to do nothing. It won't ease the pain and tears that we inflicted. It won't fix the insecurities we created. Instead of feeling sorry for yourself, get back up and fight back. Use the years of destruction to build you up. You are stronger than you give yourself credit for. Love yourself for who you are. Be the better person and don't let them win. I know you think you can't. I know you think you're done, but you can't stop until you've won."
Jules pants softly as he stares down into Brinly's watery eyes. They stay silent for an ungodly amount of time.
"Please say something." He whispers.
Brinly watches Jules. He was right. Why would she continue to hurt herself when she could instead be the better person? It would be hard to love herself. Instead of taking out her rage on Jules and his group of ex-friends, she was taking it out on herself. What good would that do?
"You are right..." She whispers as she closes her eyes.
Jules is taken aback at her response, "I am?"
"I-I don't think I can forgive you but..." She opens her eyes meeting Jules's olive green eyes, "I can't live like this."
"I can help." Brinly shakes her head softly, looking down.
"No, I-"
Jules tilts her chin up with his hand as his pleading eyes meet hers.
"Please, let me help you. I don't deserve it but I want to make sure that you are okay. It is the least I could do."
Brinly nods in silence. This was it. She was going to change her life. She was not born to live depressed, defeated, guilty, condemned, ashamed or unworthy. She was born to be victorious and that is what she is going to be.
<Three months later>
"Yes, you did it Brinly!"
Brinly smiles sheepishly as she stares down at the bold 100 lb lettering on the scale. It almost took a month for Brinly to manage to eat without throwing up. There were lots of tears and moments she wanted to give up but Jules stayed by herself and helped her when she fell down. He did not help her every single time so she would learn to get up and persist without the help of others. After an episode of crying when she ate her first meal without throwing up, she got up and ran a mile. She wanted to gain weight but not in an unhealthy way, so she found something that she surprisingly enjoyed; running.
It was something about feeling her chest tightening as her heart pounded in her rib cages like a wild beast. The sound of her feet slapping against the ground, pushed her to run faster as her legs burnt with fire and her throat was hot.
Brinly learned more about herself during those three months. Things she never thought she was capable of doing, she could. While she still had troubles socializing with people, she did manage to find a new friend after accidentally running into them as she turned a corner in town. The girl had dropped her books that she was carrying and apologized profusely about her clumsiness. Brinly managed to ask her to join her in a cup of coffee to which the girl agreed. She learned that she and Amanda had a lot in common from hobbies to taste in music to even their favorite actors; Dylan and Cole Sprouse.
As for Jules, Brinly managed to forgive him but simply couldn't put it behind her. That was okay to Jules as he stood by her side through this journey of self-discovery. Brinly struggled to understand her feelings towards Jules. She liked him but not in a way of a relationship. They grew closer together but never took it any step further throughout the years. Their story was not that of a cliché romance story where the character would end together. Instead both had found significant others.
Jules realized he was bisexual and got together with Miles, a baker at a local bakery. They were happy together, and like most couples they weren't perfect but they worked it out.
Brinly vowed that she was going to stay single forever and just live with Amanda in her apartment until a man came in and knocked her off her feet. Literally. Brinly had been attending a local college party when Elliot collapsed on her in a drunken state. He woke up several minutes later insisting that he was perfectly fine to go home but the throw up that stained his front noted otherwise. Brinly offered to drive him home however; he fell asleep in her car before she could get his address. That is how he ended up in Brinly's apartment. From there, their relationship blossomed.