I ran away from home...
-Chapter 8-
I didn't understand how the hell i could have ended up in here. OK, so I had been practically sleepwalking, but still... To sleep on the bathroom floor of a guy who probably hated me? Not so smart!
A movement drew my attention to the big bed, and my eyes immediately fell on the sleeping form spread all over it. Shit. Blade was here.
At the moment, he was asleep - but for how long would he stay that way?
I slowly tip-toed towards the door while closely looking and listening for movement or change in breathing. Every time the floor-boards creaked or I accidentally stumbled over some piece of clothing or a shoe, I froze completely for a few seconds. When I finally reached the door, I was almost sweating nerves. It felt like any second Blade would wake up and kill me for being in here.
As I eased out of the room -without as much as a single creek! Woohoo! - I thought I heard someone yawn. So I shut the door as fast as possible and almost ran through the halls to my room.
It appeared that in my dazed state I had turned left instead of right at the top of the stairs. I tell you, it was a miracle that I even found my way back to my room from where Blade's lay, but I guess miracles happen sometimes - it had got to be my turn, you'd think, after all this time, right?
Well in my room I thought I'd take a shower before going home to my dad's, so I did, and then got lost on my way down for breakfast. Really, no kidding - this place was huge! When I finally found my way down, led by the smell of frying beacon, I was greeted by an - as usual - cheery Darren and an - as usual - grumpy Blade. Usual, by the way? Who was I to judge, I had only been in this house... no, scratch that, been AWAKE in this house for what, two-three days all together? If even that. Maybe Blade usually went around giggling? The mere thought made me giggle in return, which caused the guys to stare at me as if I'd said I'd seen a blue elephant in the chimney. When I met Blade's gaze, I blushed, as I thought of how I'd slept in his bathroom. Damnit! And of course he thought I'd blushed because I liked him -as if! - it was apparent by the way he smirked as he averted his eyes back to his sandwich. And the anger at myself only got my face even redder.
I scowled as I took a seat across from him, while completely ignoring him for no other benefit that my ego's. Damn that boy could get on my nerve!
Darren, obviously feeling excluded in the whole ignoring-each-other-thingy that me and Blake were doing, decided to break it off by starting conversation. It didn't work that well, but I'll tell you roughly how it passed.
Darren: "So... Everybody slept well?"
this, of course, made me blush again, and I looked down at the table to conceal it, and Blade grunted (a very unattractive noise, by the way) in an undecided way, while casting a brief smirk in my direction, which made my face switch from red as a beet to white as snow (Shit! What if he actually knew where I'd unknowingly spent the night?)
Silence.
Darren: "...Yeah... I slept like I pig, myself... So. Mel. Do you want something to eat, or are you just gonna sit there, watching us?"
Me: "I'm OK, I'm not very hungry in the mornings."
Darren: "Oh."
Five minutes of complete silence later, Darren left the room, stomping a little, and cursing under his breath something about "unsocial people who don't know how to dance". The last part made me frown. Dance? What the...? Oh, Lord, I do NOT want to know how that boy thinks, or I would never be able to fall asleep at night.
Blade got up from his chair and looked at me for a second, and then took his dishes to the washer. "You'd better... rest or something for the rest of the day", he said and walked for the door. "Cole's taking you home tonight."
In the beginning it was only Cole who was going with me home, just to drop me off, but then Darren wanted to go too, and I guess that Blade just went along to get out of the house. Anyway, we ended up going all four of us. I was a bit worried about this at first, because I didn't want the guys to meet my father if he was drunk, which he usually was. He tended to get mad at nothing if such was the case, and then you'd do best to stay away. Let's just say that it didn't give much of a first impression in any good way at all, if you know what I mean. I'd rather not have the guys there if my father decided to beat me up for running away. Suddenly I regretted my decision to go back home, and I couldn't understand what I'd been thinking when I'd said I wanted to go home again. There had, after all, been a reason as to why I ran away in the first place.
But at the same time, I didn't want to tell Blade, who was driving, to turn around, because then they'd want a reason, and I wasn't sure that I was willing to give them one. So when they'd confirmed that they'd still only drop me off and then drive on, as was the original plan, I almost fainted with relief.
I was scared out of my mind when the car finally stopped in front of my house, and some of it must have shown on my face, because Cole, who was sitting next to me in the backseat, peered at me from across the car.
"Mel? Are you OK?"
I jumped a little in my seat and tried to hastily compose my face into a calm and somewhat... happy? expression. And then it took me another second to figure out whom he was talking to - who the hell was Mel? And then I remembered: it was the name I'd given them when they'd asked for mine. Not trusting them, I'd mentioned my ex. best friend, Melody Foster.
"Oh, yeah, I'm great. Ehm... Thank you, guys. For everything." Okay... awkward moment. I tried to lighten it up a little by in a light tone hastily adding, "You know, except for the part when you beat my head in, that was not OK."
it was meant as a joke, but at the mention of these - notice the THESE - incidents, they all stiffened suddenly, like they hadn't remembered, or, rather, didn't think I'd remember. I mean Puh-lease! Of course I'd remember. It's not like I get hit on the head by a complete stranger so hard that I pass out every day - I'm not likely to just forget something like that.
It was strange, actually, how quickly I'd gotten to accept them, despite the fact that they'd first sort of kidnapped me from the woods, and knocked me out, and then chased me like bloodhounds when I tried to escape, scaring the living hell out of me while at it, and after that, they'd actually nailed shut the windows in my room and bathroom so I wouldn't get out. And not only that, but they'd also scared me shitless when staring at me like I was an alien while I was only in my underwear! - Perverts! Then there'd been some awkward moments, and now I felt almost sad to lose them, well, maybe not Blade; he freaked me out.
I opened my car door and stepped out in the cool summer night-air. Typically enough, it was pouring, and about half a second later, I was soaking wet. Wow. Great start on a catastrophic evening.
The lights in the kitchen windows were lit, so I assumed that my dad was having some sort of dinner, probably pizza and a beer. And he was probably watching TV as he ate, if he hadn't smashed that by now. And he was probably drunk. And pissed.
But what if he wasn't? Drunk and pissed, I mean. What if he for once was sober, and what if, for once, he wasn't angry that I'd been gone too long, but actually worried about my safety and health?
As soon as I walked through the front door, though, after waving a last time at the guys, I realized that that wouldn't be the case. Sure, there were no broken things spread all over the place, but the whole house stank of alcohol. It was as if someone had just gone around pouring the bottles empty over the rugs and furniture.
I closet the front door behind me as silently as I possibly could, and while dripping rainwater, sneaked out into the kitchen, where my dad sat in one of the chairs with a bottle of beer in his hand and the TV control in the other. On the table in front of him lay an empty pizza carton. Boy, was he predictable, or what?
As I entered the kitchen , he glanced away from the TV for a second, and then turned back to stare at me. I could actually see his brain working behind his glazed eyes, could see him fit all of the pieces together.
Three. Two. One.
"WHERE THE HELL HAVE YOU BEEN, YOU BITCH?!?!"
If my instincts hadn't told me to duck, the beer bottle would have hit me square in the head. As it was now, it went straight above me and out of the closed, one-piece window, making the whole glass collapse in a great CRASH. At least his aim wasn't effected when drunk.
I remember thinking that, shit! Now the neighbors would know something wasn't right in this house. And then he was on me.
He's always avoid hitting me in the face, because it would be harder to explain why I always had a black eye than why I had a broken arm or a couple of broken or bruised ribs. And bruises were easy to hide with clothes. People just assumed when I told them for the sixth time that my arm was broken because I'd fallen down the stairs or tripped over my own feet and landed on it, that I was an unusually clumsy person, and that was the way I preferred it.
It wouldn't really matter much since it was the summer holidays, but I guess he avoided my face out of pure habit. And I doubt he had any idea what so ever of when I had my holidays anyway.
The first thing he did when he got hold of me was breaking the wrist I help up for protection of my head. The break was loud in the silence of my fear, and the pain that followed was killing me. I screamed, not remembering that I shouldn't do that because the window was broken and it could be heard from outside the house. And then his clenched fist made the air in my lungs disappear so that my scream was cut off. I thought I heard one of my ribs snap too, but I couldn't make sure of it before the next hit landed, and I thought that this time, this time I was going to die.
There was noise as from screeching wheels, and three loud snaps like car doors being thrown shut, but I wasn't sure if I imagined it or not, cause it seemed to be so far away.
As I was struggling to get some air into my burning lungs, I realized that the pain was making me lose touch with reality, which was good, because he usually quit beating once I lost consciousness - it wasn't fun if I didn't scream or cry, or begged for him to stop. And right now I was doing all three of them.
You'd think I'd stop screaming and fake unconsciousness so that he would stop, right? I knew that, and I tried, but it hurt too much. Maybe I'd been able to if he'd stop hitting me for a while, but when the new pains kept coming all the time, it was hard to get used to them.
I'd just received a beat to my right side, and was waiting for the next one. But it didn't come. And then I heard screaming voices and things breaking. I lifted my head from the floor where I lay and forced open my eyes so that I could see what was going on. What I saw chilled me to my broken bones.
Blade had my father cornered, and his whole body seemed to glow dark red and bright orange at the same time, like blood and fire. My dad looked like he'd shit his pants out of fear, and with right: Blade looked absolutely murderous.
I guess it wouldn't do too much to the world to lose my father, but it would do much to me. Despite of all the things he'd done to me, he was still my father, and I knew that somewhere deep, deep inside, he still loved me. He just missed my mother so much that he couldn't stand a sober life. I guess that in a weird way it would be better for us both if he died so he could join her in the afterlife, but I didn't want him to go. For if he did, I'd be truly lonely in this world: I'd have no one. No living family, no trustworthy friends, no nothing.
It wasn't that I wanted to be with him, or even in the same country as him, for God knows, I did not, but simply wanting to know that he existed, that ii had SOMEONE I could call mine. Not necessarily someone whom I could trust with all my secrets and dreams, but trust at least to be alive.
My father was that someone to me and I needed him alive, so somehow I managed to say:
"Don't kill him!"
I don't know how I knew, because no regular guy would just kill a man without a second thought, but somehow I knew without a doubt that if I didn't say anything, my someone was soon going to become no one, and the body would be rotting in the local cemetery.
At my words, Blade turned to look at me, and we met each other's eyes for two long seconds before he turned back around to stop my father's fist from crashing into Blade's face.
As I closed my eyes again, and tried not to throw up from the pain, the image of Blade's eyes were etched to my brain. The otherwise black eyes had turned fiery red, and that probably scared me more than anything that had happened that night - what the hell was he? And still it somehow comforted me to know that he was there, guarding me, and that he cared enough to at least defend me when I was getting beaten to death, even if we didn't have more than that.
But the thought was soon gone from my mind as I curled into a tight ball, trying to escape the pain, but only making it worse my moving. Once again I screamed. Well, it wasn't really a scream, but more of the likes with a very loud whimper.
Some small part of my brain noted that Darren and Cole were beside me on the floor, speaking words I didn't comprehend, but I never acknowledged their presence in any way - I didn't have the self-control, for if I moved anything I'd just scream the new pain out, and that wouldn't be of any help for anyone, and if I opened my mouth to say something, I'd just scream out the pain that was already there.
So I kept my mouth shut and focused on breathing through my nose. Air, I knew, was vital for my survival.
---------------------author's note----------------------
Oh My God-
i am so sorry for all the time passed since last chapter, but i have an explanation. i do. and me myself think it's a good one. so here it is:
i had the writer's block. i swear! you know, you can't write when you don't feel like it, or it will turn to shit. really. it just doesn't work, and anyone who's ever written anything knows that.
ok, so done apologizing, though i think i could for another page... XD
this chapter is a bit longer than the others.. at least on my office, so i hop it will be on the site too. my apology probably makes it another page, so i'm probably right..;)
nothing's happened much--- i'm on my summer's holidays, and nothing really happens on the country when you're fifteen and there's only sevenyear-olds on the camping site - noone to hang out with, though mom, my aunt and i are going to town for shopping monday.
it's been an unusually dry rain-free summer for sweden .. well, up until two days ago, when it started raining and hasn't stopped yet- so now it finally feels like a normal swedish summer once again! Xd no just kidding.
i live right by the sea, and it's been quite bathable up til the cold, so i've had some fun times too..
so... what else have i not written about? hmm....
we're moving into town-... well, we have moved from our villa to an appartement in the inner city, and to be honest, i'm not too happy abaout it.. you know, i have lived in the same house since i was born (my family moved there for my arrival) and i'm really sad to see the house go--- plus, i lived really close to all my friends, so... and now i live like thirty minutes away where it was ten before (ten by foot, ten by bus, and then ten more by foot) it sucks! the only thing good about all this is i'm promised a TV for my room.
i tried to start running- you know, just to get out of the house and do something, but it didn't work out that well. i think i could do it on a straight road or something but where i ran there was only tough terrain and i think i have to train a little before i try that out again... well, well, we'll see...
so .. in a few weeks i start ninth grade (we have another system here than in for example the US) it feels weird to think that-- ninth grade-- that's the last year i'll be going on my school... hmm...
i don't know where i'll go after nya munken (my present school), but i wanna read languages. there's like special lines and stuff, i don't really understand myself, so don't ask... well, i wanna learn to speak spanish (english and freanch right now) and maybe like japanese or russian or something. i wanna travel alot in work, or outside, doesn't really matter. but one language that not that many in sweden talk would be great, cause then there'd be a bigger paycheck, if you know what i mean... XD
soo.. i really have no idea what i'm talking about right now, so i guess i should probably stop.
you know, i say to everyone that i really can't write diaries, but this is kind of like one.. ha, that's funny, i've never thought about it that way before... i have this book that i write in only when i'm angry or sad and i need to tell someone to get it out of my system.. it's rather a depressing read actually... hmm....
well..
oh, that's right, i promised i'd stop writing now.. sorry
if you've read through all this without wanting to kill me, i thank you for your patience, and here's your usual dose of music and movies:
-----------------------------------
good song: IF I EVER LEAVE THIS WORLD ALIVE by FLOGGING MOLLY
link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vA1DGClMKNs
good movie: A WALK TO REMEMBER from 2002 with MANDY MOORE and SHANE WEST
link:http://www.letmewatchthis.com/watch-1085-A-Walk-to-Remember
vote and comment!!!
xoxo