I honestly just try to block everything out the rest of the day, even Patti's compliments on our scene at lunch, my embarrassment is taking up way too much space in my mind to let anything else in. Not just embarrassment, actually. Anger, too. I'm furious with Gina. She was mad at me for caring about my new friends, but I never intentionally hurt her, I was just trying to make space for Patti, Thatcher, and Moth alongside her. But Gina took it too far. She betrayed me and made fun of me.
The good news is that now my teachers are helping me like crazy with my classes. My English teacher shared recorded audio files of the reading assignments for me to listen to, and the science teacher printed out his lecture slides for me to use to study. In social studies, my teacher gave me a CD-ROM copy of the textbook with a feature on it that reads you the information. Thank goodness Mom has an old desktop computer at home, because I don't have anything that could have played it otherwise.
All of these "accommodations" as Mrs. Thomas called them help me study on my own tonight. But my phone keeps buzzing, distracting me from my work. I know it's probably Gina, so I ignore it, until finally, I get sick of it and pick up my phone from where I've left it on my bed.
My stomach drops. The messages are all from Thatcher and Patti. None whatsoever from Gina, which only sort of shocks me. When she has decided she's the victim, she won't apologize until you do. This will be a standoff of who can be the most stubborn between us, but I will not apologize. Not after today.
I read the message from Patti first, since it's the only one from her. Thatcher sent the rest, so I'll set aside some time to think about answering those.
Patti sent a text. It reads, "You seriously did a great job today for your first performance. I know Gina fudged it up, but don't even think about her. Our group is going to show theirs up, and then she'll come crawling to apologize. See you tomorrow."
Clearly Patti doesn't know Gina like I do. Me doing well in a scene is not going to make her apologize, but still... I appreciate the thought from Patti, so I respond, "Thanks. See you tomorrow." My phone helps me spell "tomorrow." That's one of those words I never get right. I always think there are two M's, not two R's.
Then I open the messages from Thatcher.
Thatcher Gorsky: Hey, what was up today? (4:13pm)
Thatcher Gorsky: Did I do something wrong? (4:15pm)
Thatcher Gorsky: I thought the scene went well. You did a nice job. Your friend was really rude, though. Is everything ok? (4:27pm)
Thatcher Gorsky: I'm really really sorry if I did something wrong. (5:01pm)
I don't know how to respond. He didn't do anything wrong. I like him. I like spending time with him. But I also don't want Gina telling people I like him, and then finding evidence that it's true. I feel like I need to distance myself from him right now, just until Gina cools down.
"Janie," my mom calls from downstairs. "Someone is here to see you."
"What?" I ask, not because I couldn't hear her, but because I don't know who it would be.
"Come downstairs," she says.
I slip my phone in my pocket and roll off my bed to head downstairs. It's probably Gina, I think. But when I can finally see who is standing in front of the door, I immediately adjust my posture and facial expression.
"Thatcher, hey," I greet him. I'm still wearing my black clothes from our scene today, but I've pulled my hair back in a messy bun and probably have big red marks on my cheeks and chin from rest my head in my hands.
My mom is still near the door. I know she likes Thatcher, but that doesn't mean she'd let me alone with him, especially without already knowing to expect him. I finish walking down the stairs.
"What's up?" I ask.
"I messaged you a few times, and didn't hear anything. I just wanted to make sure you were safe," he says, probably playing to the fears he already knows my mom has. It works, because she smiles at him, and asks to take his coat.
"That's okay, Mrs. Myers, I just wanted to stop by."
"Well, why don't you stay?" my mom asks. "Have you had dinner yet? Janie and I are vegan, but don't let that scare you. We're having meatless meatballs and spaghetti tonight. They taste surprisingly like the real things."
I've never heard my mom sell dinner to Gina like this, so she must really like Thatcher. He looks to me for an answer, and I let myself smile. There's no one to hide my feelings for Thatcher from here, especially not my mom. She clearly likes him too.
"She's right, they are really good. You should stay," I tell him.
"Okay, sure," he says with a smile and a shrug.
"Do you need to call your dad or anything?"
He smirks. "No, we pretty much do dinner on our own."
Mom looks like she's physically trying to hold back any sort of reaction to that, and instead walks back into the kitchen, "Dinner will be with us tonight, then. It will just be another five minutes or so. Feel free to hang out," she is now calling from the kitchen. "No going upstairs, though."
"We got it, Mom," I say. I turn to Thatcher. "We can come in here and sit." I point to our living room and take a seat on the sofa. "Sorry I didn't get back to you. I thought it was Gina texting me, because I just had my phone on vibrate."
"Yeah, what's going on with that? I thought she was your best friend."
"We had a fight."
He laughs. "Uh, yeah, clearly. What about?"
I squirm in my seat.
"You don't have to tell me if you don't want," he says, as if he's caught himself crossing a line. I don't feel like he is, I just need to be careful about what I tell him, since he is part of Gina's argument against me.
"She is mad at me, because she thinks that I've replaced her with you and Patti and I guess Moth, though I haven't even really interacted with him."
"He's a good person. You'll like him once you give him a chance."
Really? I want to say, but that's a conversation for a different time.
"Well, either way, Gina is not happy about it. She said some pretty hurtful things to me, and I guess I was... not hurtful, but insensitive to her about all of it. But she took it to another level today. Did you hear her during our scene?"
"I heard her say something, yeah. And then when we took our bow, I heard her make one of those obnoxious noises you make when people flirt."
I shift in my seat.
"Is that why you ran back to your seat so quickly?"
No harm in admitting that. "Yeah. I was embarrassed."
"What was that about?" he asks. His cheeks sort of blush a bit.
"Uh... I don't know. She's probably just jealous and trying to find something to say about me and you."
He smiles. "Does she think you...like, have feelings for me or something?"
Panic. Panic. Panic. I have to think of something to say or this will be the most awkward dinner ever.
Instead of thinking of something, my mouth just blurts out the word: "Yes."
Recover. Recover. Recover.
"I don't," I say. "So you don't have to worry about that."
"Oh okay," he says. I can't tell if he's disappointed or not. He just sort of nods as he looks at me. "Yeah, I'm not worried. I don't think anyone has ever had a crush on me, so... but yeah, you're a good friend to me, and that's important."
His reaction definitely makes me feel disappointed, and a little heart broken. No one has ever had a crush on him? I mean, I'm not sure anyone has ever had a crush on me either, but I've never said it out loud. It sounds depressing.
"So we're friends?"
"Yeah, of course." He smiles. "Who else would have me over for a delicious vegan meal?"
"Technically, that was my mom, so...."
He nods. "You're right. So really, your mom and I are good friends now."
"I'm so glad I could introduce you two."
He laughs and leans over to nudge my shoulder. "Just kidding. That would be weird if I was here for your mom."
"It would. In fact, let's not even talk about it anymore."
We both laugh. "Deal," he says. "So what do we do about Gina in class now?"
My mom carries the bowl of spaghetti and meatless meatballs out of the kitchen and sets it on the dining room table in the next room. "Dinner's ready," she says.
Thatcher and I stand from the couch, but I answer him before we sit down to eat.
"Ignore Gina. That's what I'm going to try to do at least."
"Got it, pal," he says, nudging my shoulder again.
Disappointment sets in. But at least I can continue liking him in private. I can keep smiling at him and laughing at his jokes. Nothing has changed except that now Thatcher and I can interact in public without him thinking anything is going on. And now, since he sees me as a friend, he won't be scared away.
***
Question for you:
Who could you see being cast as Janie? As Thatcher? Patti? Moth?
I like to use Giphy to find gifs related to the characters, so it helps to have actors in mind.
Let me know if you have any good ideas! <3
I hope you are enjoying the story so far! Let me know in the comments!