(THIS SONG WAS SUPPOSED TO COME OUT ON FEBRUARY 2ND BUT IT WAS RELEASED TODAY BECAUSE IT WAS USED IN AN EPISODE OF HOW TO GET AWAY WITH MURDER
AND I'M SCREAMING
THIS IS THE ONLY THING I'VE LISTENED TO
THIS IS AN AMAZING FIRST IAMX SONGFIC
LISTEN TO THIS SONG
HIS HIGH NOTES ARE YESSS)
There's a power much bigger than hate
You look at Evangeline, how powerful she is with her metal cage. She hides away from others well. You find it admirable. You're only a Haven, lost in light. Elane is the closest person to you. Your life is just filled with white and purity. You weren't looking to poison yourself like your sister, you wanted to stay on the good side of things. You remained loyal to King Maven, and you will until the day you die. Something about him just intrigues you. You feel something when you're near him... you feel something strongly. There's a power much bigger than hate. You love King Maven. You love him more than Elane. You love him more than your mother and father. You'd do anything for King Maven.
Still lost in the urge to annihilate
A part of you has urges, something too great to even act upon. Something you'd never think of doing without his influence. Sometimes you want to hurt everybody that comes into his path. But you won't. You'll stay on the good side, you want King Maven to love you. You want him to admire your beauty everytime you stand next to him. You want him to hold your hand once again, lead you into his room and hold him until you die.
But I know I will overcome this
This is just a phase, right? You shouldn't be too worried about feeling this way, right? The way your heart beats faster and faster whenever he looks at you. The way you feel like just staring at him until he becomes a decaying corpse. Sometimes you can't even bring yourself to make eye contact with him. Is it strange? You can't look away. You don't trust yourself. In a room, you always want to know where he is. You need to always make sure to protect him from danger.
Stay in the light, you remind yourself. Just remain good and become queen, the steps are so simple.
You dragged me through the darkest days
Maven has always been your friend. You two have always been close. You can tell him everything and you trust him with the knowledge of the world. After your house rebelled, you wish Maven felt the same as you did to he. You feel like Maven doesn't trust you anymore. Why did your house have to ruin it? Why couldn't they just stay in line like a normal high house? You wish they'd all disappear, so Maven can see how amazing you are.
By the skin of my teeth, you restored my fate
Maven still allows you to rest in his arms. He sits up on his bed, and you rest yourself on his chest. His arms wrap around you as his chest moves you up and down. You love listening to his heartbeat. His warmth is also too much, heating up your body to an uncomfortable amount. Why is he so hot? Is he filled with hate? Rage?
And I raised myself out of the ashes
"I think you're amazing, my king." You tell him. This doesn't feel real. You can't believe he still holds you like this like he did when you were children.
"I also think you're amazing." He replies blankly. You look up at him, he's staring across the room. You try to find what he's staring at. You don't find anything important. Is he just lost in thought? Is that why he's so warm?
"Maven," you place your hand on his cheek. His eyes go down to you, looking into yours like an ocean in front of a sunset. Your eyes reflect peace, his an emptiness beyond pain.
Now I'm alive in new light
You kiss him. Nothing hurts you more than the quick seconds he didn't kiss back. You wondered his reaction. Was he of fear? Did he want to pull away? Anxiety reeled inside of you. Nothing of this is real, is it? You're just making it up. Maybe you should pull away and say something funny, pretend that the moment didn't exist. That would be better than what actually happened; him pulling away and staring into your eyes again. You two just stare at each other, analyzing the presence of the other.
The typical brittle perfectionist
He pulls you into another kiss as you brush his cheekbone with your thumb. His skin is soft under your touch, it feels like heaven. ((more like haven lmaooooo)) You wish the moment would last forever. But you pull away.
Confused by my every decision
The feeling inside of you swirls. What is it? If it does not mean love... Why is it so powerful? Why does it make you want to climb all over him? What are you feeling? Is it passion? Do you love Maven? Or do you just have the urge to take him? You rest your head on his chest again, feeling his bony collarbone on your temple. You pretend it doesn't scare you. You pretend nothing scares you.
One day I was being the hero
The next I was playing the coward
Why did you kiss him in the first place? How did you expect him to react? This is so terrible, how dare you try something as bad as kissing him? You are so disgraceful. Nobody good in your book can do something like that. You're such a coward. But Maven continues rubbing your back with his long fingers, he stays silent - giving you space. It's pleasant.
There were times when I thought that my heart would stop
Surely Maven doesn't truly dislike you because of your house. Maybe he wasn't up to opening up. After this, will he finally put his heart into your hands? You hope. You don't think you'll be able to go any longer without his eyes in your grasp.
Locked in my obsessions