I slowly came back to myself. I wasn't sure just how long it took, but it felt like years. Slowly, so slowly, I came back to myself. Now the only question was, who exactly was I?
I was Ashna Sangini...
I was Magic...
I was both and yet neither.
Floating, I was floating...
My mind clicked into place and I woke up completely. Currently, I was Ashna Sangini. I was on the island, but my body had been moved while I was away.
I had traveled to the past, to when it all began. I had lived with the half of me that was Magic, going through my life, through the many millenniums. And because of that, I knew the truth.
This wasn't the first time this cycle had repeated. No, not in the slightest. But this was the first time I, as Ashna, had become aware of it. And since I knew, I also knew how to stop it.
My eyes flew open and I was confused for several more seconds. Through the memories of Magic I realized where I was.
I was inside the pool of Ether, the primordial form of all magic, the Origin of Magic. It was the one thing that could keep me away from Zane, unless he was willing to commit suicide once again, only he wouldn't survive this time. It was Magic's last stab at Zane and I. Even though her anger was still very prominent, even she was tiring of the never-ending cycle. Its why she had brought me to island. The way things were suppose to play out was very different.
Magic would kill me on the spot, at some point in time before I became fully immortal, and therefore unable to be killed. She would kill me before Zane had any time to react. And when he did react, he would do what he told me he would if I died. He would destroy the entire universe, to the point that nothing was left besides himself and Magic, though she would hide herself so he couldn't find her.
He would be all alone and after some time, he tended to vary, his sorrow would overwhelm him completely. He would force time to run backwards, to before he met me, before he revived magic, before I stumbled into his head. And then he would make himself forget everything and sink into blissful ignorance.
Just like that, the cycle would repeat.
But now Magic had changed things. She had spoken to Zane directly. She had taken me to the island. She hadn't killed me, as of yet.
All of this told me just how much she wanted it to end. So, here we were...
I closed my eyes, blocking out the sight of the ethereal, silver-purple Ether. The sight of it made my head swim. Taking in a deep breath, I called on my inner strength. It was time. Long had we been two. Now we needed to become one.
Magic, I called softly. You know, just as much as I do now. We need to talk...
Magic's snide voice, my snide voice, filled my head. Oh, yes, now you want to talk?
I sighed. You know very well I would never have been able to figure this all out without you.
Yes...That's right, isn't it? she growled. Everyone needs me for something. No one ever wants me. It's always the same thing, over and over. All the humans, the 'demons' who use me. All the creatures of the Other world, which live off of me. The very air itself, the elements that have been given some form of consciousness because of how deeply I have soaked into the very core of the world...None of them ever gives. All they do is take. And do they even have the thought to ask me? she shouted, her voice breaking.
No! Never! Why should they? What do they even owe me? Their way of life? Their continued safety in the fact that I am what keeps them existing? What do they owe me indeed!
Slowly, her voice lowered, becoming softer. But...even all that wouldn't matter to me, if I could be acknowledged by Zane, could be with him forever...But he always meets you...He always finds you...Your bound souls always seek out one another. And everything that I have ever tried can never stop it.
I was quiet for a few minutes. Magic, I am sorry. This needs to end and you know what needs to be done. We can't become one if we are filled with all this hate and spite. Our disconnected souls won't connect if this continues. So, there are several things I need to say. First off, I'm sorry. It was never my intention for you to be born. But that doesn't mean you are at fault or that anything is wrong with you. You do have a right to exist and I don't wish for you to disappear.
But...Originally, there was only me. Only me, but my magic was more than I could handle and I kept going to the past, kept changing things, effecting things to such a great degree that they became imprinted into the fabric of space and time. They became set in stone and nothing could change them. Not even Zane resetting time. No matter how many times the world was reset, Zane always met me in the past, always found the volcano, always gained magic and destroyed the world with it. And he always found me again.
Magic stayed silent, but I could sense her reluctant, weary agreement.
I don't want us fusing to make you disappear. The only thing I have a problem with about you is all your rage and hate. You have to let it go. You have to accept that the actions that you've done, this cycle, have laid the ground for it to end. Now...are you ready to finally be done with this?
She remained silent for three more heartbeats. When she spoke, her voice was very soft, filled with sorrow, but also a little bit of hope. If we fuse, I will still be with Zane... she whispered. I will still be myself. In fact, I will completely be myself, since I will have you as well... More silence, for what felt like an eternity. Yes...Let us bring this cycle of anger, hate, death, and destruction to an end. No more must the world be destroyed, over and over. No more must we fight. No more must we be torn apart. Come, my other half. Her voice was strong, firm, filled with her determination.
I was relieved. Thank you, I smiled before she reached out and pulled my soul from my body. Her 'hands' held me gently before pressing me against her chest, into the 'heart' that she had made in her body of magic, trying to mimic what she no longer had.
O O O
I was waiting for him when he arrived. He came flying through the air, nearly crashing the car in his haste. Once on the ground, he rushed to reach me. I was standing, in the body of magic I had made for myself a second ago. I had improved on it, making it seem just as real as my physical one that was lying down in the Ether pool. I knew Zane wouldn't be able to reach it and even I was unable to. So instead I made a body that he could touch and feel, even if I could not. I had no physical senses. Therefore I felt nothing, tasted nothing. I 'heard' words with my magic, just as I 'saw' the world, and I 'spoke' by projecting my mind out to others.
At the first sight of him, in what felt like thousands of years to me, I had to fight off tears of joy. He froze, three feet away, when he saw my shaky smile. H-hello, Zane, I greeted him cheerfully. It's been a long time. I hope you have been well.
He frowned in confusion. "Ana, its been less than full day." His expression grew pained as he swiftly looked me over. His hands reached out and grabbed hold of my arms. "I'm sorry it took me so long. But..." He froze, growing still. His eyes slowly took in my face, looking at me closely. "You aren't Ana...are you?"
I flashed a nervous smile. I am and I am not. Many things have happened since I left. Many lifetimes have been lived, seen, viewed, felt. Many times have I watched our deaths and then our births, only for the cycle to be repeated. I closed my eyes, taking in a deep breath. When I opened them, I let out a short laugh. Call me Magic, call me Ashna, call me Ana. Whichever you prefer, for I am all.
He took a few steps back, his face growing pale. "No way..."
I nodded. Yes way. I took in another deep breath before finally breaking the news. I knew he wasn't going to like this. I have to apologize though. My anger got out of hand earlier and I...Well, I sort of...trapped my physical body in a pool of Ether.
His eyebrows shot up in shock. "You did what?" he demanded. His hand reached out again, feeling my shoulder. "You feel solid."
I do not feel your touch at all, though. I paused, feeling the pull of another world. One moment, please. I will be back in just a second. My mind was briefly flashed into another world that ran close to the one I came from. One of the beings there was pulling up a large amount of magic. So much so that it disturbed my existence in the world Zane was in. After two seconds, I was able to come back, the magic refilling and helping me become solid once more.
Zane's eyes were wide. "You just...flickered out of existence there. You do realize that, right?"
I nodded tiredly. Yes, of course. It is just an effect of being an Avatar of Magic without a physical form. Sometimes I...waver.
His gaze darkened. "So. Please tell me again, exactly, why you threw away your body?"
I was angry, I muttered.
He let out a long, whistling breath. "Yeah, okay. You were angry. What a perfect reason to do something like that..." He inhaled deeply. "So, why can't you just retrieve it with magic?"
My body is inside the Ether, which means it is surrounded by something much more ancient, much more powerful than I.
He whistled in amazement at that. "Wow. Okay then. So...is there anyway to get you back?"
I closed my eyes. If you dive in and drag me out, to the shore of the pool, then I can return to my body. But...you will die in the process. The Ether will either drive you to complete and total madness, or strip away all your magic, in turn killing you.
He took another step back, looking me over. His eyes shifted to their three-toned appearance. "Well, Ana, we have a little bit of a problem. You see, I made a bargain for your heart, soul, and body. I only have your soul, if your body stays down there. I won't settle for less than all three." Without another word, he moved past me and walked to the edge of the volcano.
Feeling as if I would die, all over again, I silently followed. Looking down into the volcano, I got to see myself for the first time since meeting Magic, what seemed very, very long ago, but I knew was only a few hours. Over the many years, the pool of Ether had grown, expanding, increasing in size. Where, before, it had only been a little bigger than a large puddle, now it was a lake. The very center was held in a raised bowel big enough for ten humans to be inside. To reach the center, one had to wade through the shallow lake of Ether, and then climb five feet to the center pool that was slowly bubbling with more Ether. The silver-purple glowing liquid would fill over the brim, so that it was constantly falling down into the main lake, increasing its size slowly over time. From all directions, shooting off from the lake, like a spider's web, were a multitude of veins of Ether. The veins covered most of the island, though they sank below the ground level, below the sea, into the mantle of the earth and even deeper, all the way to the core. The whole planet of Earth was filled with Ether, with how much time had passed.
In the very center, in the raised pool of the lake, I was curled up in a ball. My body was breathing, though faintly, my heart still beating. I was slightly worried about what would happen, if Zane did somehow succeed. From what I understood, I would probably suffer a similar fate that I had told Zane about. But the man was stupidly stubborn and I knew he would not listen to me if I begged him not to do this. I clasped my hands together and tried to pray, though doing so made me want to laugh. The things that humans called gods had died out long ago, unable to keep existing without access to Ether or without the belief of humans to keep them sustained, in place of Ether.
Zane turned his head slightly to look at me over his shoulder. "So...just go through all that and make it back, right?" he asked. Though his face wore a confident expression, a tiny edge of worry and fear filled him.
Zane...You do not have to do this. Yes, I will no longer be able to feel your touch, and yes I will not be able to truly leave this island...But that is better than what will happen to you if you try to go through with this. Don't you understand, you fool? You will die! My voice broke with my fear and anger. I can still live, without a body. Yes...I...I will not be able to feel your touch anymore...My voice was soft with embarrassment. But at the very least, you will be able to...
He eyed me for two more seconds. "Ana, please be quiet, for now. I already told you what I think about this whole thing and I think I've made it very clear what I'm going to do." His expression softened. "No matter what, I love you."
I love you too, I whispered achingly. Please...come back to me.
He flashed a quick grin. "Always, love. All you have to do is call my name and I'll be there."
I struggled not to sob as he walked to the center of the volcano, thirty feet in. Fifteen feet away from the mouth of the volcano, the Ether veins began to run through the earth, breaking through the crust and going lower. It was impossible to see the Ether unless one was past the edge of the volcano. Taking in a deep breath, I let my illusion body dissipate and freed my soul from it. Now, as a ball of light, I moved through the air, hovering just above where my physical body rest. I concentrated, making my light glow brighter, acting as a beacon to help remind him where he needed to go.
He gazed across the fifty feet distance, staring at my light for a full minute. His expression became one of determined concentration as he rolled back his shoulders, cracking his neck and knuckles, before taking his first step into the lake of Ether. Well...more like jump. He backed up about ten feet and came running forward, jumping before he hit the shoreline of the Ether. He landed about three-fourths of the way from the center pool, about fifteen feet away.
His expression flickered for half a second with the landing in the Ether. I could tell he was trying to put up a front, but through our connection, I knew how much pain he felt. He took a step. This time the pain stayed on his face for a full heartbeat. After the fifth step, he was beginning to sweat. With the twenty-seventh step, he was beginning to age. No longer did he look twenty. Now he was at least twenty-five. On the forty-second step, he let out a low groan of pain, his posture slowly leaning forward.
"Shit, my back," he ground out through clenched teeth. His appearance reflected a man of forty-six. His gaze dropped away from my light for half a second. I quickly flashed it, making it glow an intense, almost painful white for a second, catching his attention once more. He shook his head before continuing. "My magic really is leaking away," he whispered in amazement and disbelief. "I'm...I'm aging and dying."
Zane! I cried out, worried he would let his aging distract him, wasting what precious seconds he had to keep going.
He shook his head again, clearing it. "Right," he reminded himself. "Ana's body." He continued forward. But by the time he had reached my body, he was already fifty years old. His hands shook as he pulled my lifeless body out of the Ether pool. "You're heavier than I remember," he grumbled, his voice already low and gravelly with age. "Fuck..." he groaned when my body fell over the side, slamming into the lake below. It wasn't a long fall, in the slightest, but if I had been able to feel anything, that certainly would have hurt.
My body was covered in Ether. Though it looked like a liquid, like a strange form of water, it acted more like a bizarre mud.
Flashing my light again, I hurried back to the edge of the lake. Zane, I tried to encourage him. Just a little bit more. Just...just a little bit longer, I choked out, fighting my tears and sobs that I couldn't express as simply a soul.
If he heard me, he showed no signs. He reached down, moved his hands under my body, wrapping his arms around my shoulders and dragged me backwards. He had made it three-fourths of the way before he suddenly stopped. He dropped my body and stared around him in confusion, before turning to face my light. He looked nearly eighty now.
Oh, why did you have to do this to yourself? I asked in anguish. Why couldn't you have just been happy with my illusion body, with me as a spiritual, magical form?
He stared across the way blearily. "What? Who said that?"
My light dimmed with my horror. No, no, no...Zane...That is you isn't it? I asked. I struggled to keep my voice calm and friendly sounding, when all I wanted to do was howl in pain.
After a second he nodded, his eyes squinting to make out my light. "Yes, I'm Zane. But who are you? What are you?"
I am...I am a friend. A very important friend.
He was aging again. "A friend, huh?" he asked, his voice getting a little weaker.
I forced my light to grow brighter. Yes, a friend. Now, you have a very important task you were doing. You see the girl lying down at your feet, behind you? You were going to bring her out of this silver lake. You told me that you had to do this, no matter what. You told me that I had to make sure you did this. So I'm going to remain here, making a light for you to focus on as your goal, alright? Remember. Remember how important it is to you that you get the girl and yourself out of this lake.
Slowly he nodded again. "Yes..." he agreed distantly, his eyes growing a little fainter. "The body..." He turned and grabbed my body, struggling to keep dragging it forward.
I suddenly regretted every single pound of weight I had. His body was so weak, so frail, that he was struggling to keep going with the added weight. He paused, trying to catch his breath, which had grown horribly ragged. He glanced up at my light. I flashed it encouragingly. Y-you can do it! Just a little further. Just...just five more steps! He looked down, his eyes taking in the distance. Those five steps seemed as far apart as the distance from this island to Seattle.
He let out a soft sob. I could feel the sheer pain that was coursing through him as he kept pushing his body beyond its limits, for so long. Each step filled him with pain from the Ether breaking down the magic in his body. Through all this, he had to wade through the mud-like substance that was slowly killing him. "Please, little light," he choked. "I can't...I don't want to keep going."
I struggled to keep myself alight and floating as his words made me want to sink into the earth and never resurface. Zane. Y-you told me. No matter what. You have to make sure you got out of the lake. You have to get the two of you out. Just...five more steps, I repeated softly.
He glared at me before reaching down and dragging my body three more steps.
T-that's it, Zane! You're almost there! You're so close!
As he went to take the second step, his legs finally gave out on him. Honestly, I was surprised it hadn't happened before that. He cried as he fell, the Ether covering him as well. He screamed in pain, sobbing openly.
I couldn't hold it back any longer. My voice shook horribly with all my guilt, pain, and sorrow. Love, I'm so sorry. I've killed you. I've kill you! I screamed in agony.
He struggled to a sitting position. He was about ninety now. My words made him freeze. "L-lov-ve?" he repeated uncertainly. His eyes lit up for half a second. "Ana," he whispered. His face screwed up in determination once more, though there was many layers of pain underneath. "Ana," he repeated as he grabbed my body and began to push it forward, in front of him. My head and left arm made it past the lake of Ether, though the rest of me was still inside it.
Yes, I rushed to say before descending my soul into my body. Love. Your love. You have to keep going, Zane. Just two more steps. Please, for me, love!
I gasped as air filled my lungs. As I inhaled, some of the Ether got into my mouth, running down the back of my throat. I coughed at the taste, which made me want to vomit. But I quickly shook my head, biting my lip at the ripples of pain that were running through me. Most of my body was inside the Ether still, so it was having a similar effect to me as it had been to Zane. I struggled to sit up, to gain some leverage so that I could reach out and pull him from the horrible stuff.
He was smiling at me, his eyes filling with tears. "A-Ana," he murmured softly, faintly. "I...I did it...I m-made i-it..."
"No," I shook my head quickly, watching his face age even more. "No, you didn't!" I yelled in pain. "You have to get out as well. Zane, you have to leave the lake. Please!" I stretched out my hand to him, struggling to find a solid hold to lift myself up in the slippery stuff.
He smiled again, his voice filled with bittersweet relief. "I...can't...my h-heart..."
Without another word, the light left his eyes and he slumped forward.