Hey, I've recently got back onto wattpad and reread my story and felt that the last two chapters did not really fit the character development, therefore I chose to delete them and write a more fitting end. I hope you enjoy it :) Please share this story with your friends and also share your thoughts by leaving a comment or/and vote.
Thank you all for reading my story and supporting me throughtout, it really meant a great deal to me to have over 20,000 reads :)
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Recap: Katie's P.O.V.
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I watch Sarah's eyes stare into my soul and feel such a relief when I hear the sirens. Sarah looks at her surroundings to find that the police have covered the area. She shouts "WHAT?! NO, WHO INVOLVED THEM?!". Sarah screams like a maniac "THAT'S IT! I CAN'T DO IT ANYMORE!". Sarah's breathing goes out of control and she feels overwhelmed. I look at Sarah as she loses it and takes a leap...
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Katie's P.O.V.
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It is very strange how one decision you make in life can determine all the emotions you have to experience. I never thought I would feel this amount of grief over a baby I had no intention in having and yet, nevertheless, the pain was not any easier to handle. I did not know whether to be spiteful and hate Sarah or to understand the roots of her hatred and why she did the things she did. But it did not matter now whether I would have wanted to reconcile with Sarah because she was no longer here and neither was my perfect little sweetheart. To think I had only known her for a short period of time and yet, I will forever close my eyes to find her there.
Although, all these thoughts were circling around my mind and I felt hurt. I was in a state of serenity, I chose to be in denial and it was because of that I have ended up in an institution. My family say it will help 'cure' me, that seemed quite impossible at the moment because the only thing that could cure me, would be to see my little sweetheart once again and just to know she felt nothing when she passed away. It then crawles into my mind that my baby would have felt all the pain, she was only a few days old and how could someone, not just anyone but a mother, allow this to happen to a little baby, my little baby. The anger grew inside of me and I pushed myself up, I wanted to kick the doors down. I screamed "LET ME OUT! I DON'T WANT THIS LIFE ANYMORE!". The doctors all rushed into my room and before I knew it I could feel the medication doing its job, as I went back into the numb state they all want me to be in. The doctors felt I was a danger to myself and others now.
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Jason's P.O.V.
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That one decision I made, the decision to cover up for Sarah...it was ridiculously stupid of me. I admit it, I don't have the best instincts but nevertheless, everything happens for a reason. I told the police it was in fact Sarah who committed the crime and they set me free. I mean I know I committed the crime also but they didn't have to know that. Now as a free man, where should I visit first?
I walked into the institution Katie was admitted into and made my way to her room. I looked in through the little glass window and felt nothing. I never really cared about Katie but we had two things in common, we both loved Emma and I. Katie looked at me with her piercing eyes and it almost made me feel a sense of guilt. But I was never too fond of emotions, I sat next to her and laughed "you really are a hot mess, look, I'm only here to let you know that the funeral is tomorrow and you were her mum, therefore are entitled to be there".
Katie looked at me like she wanted to slap me, wouldn't be the first time I got that look from a girl. Katie shouts "WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE?!". I looked at her surprised and she cries "Obviously I am going to be there for my little baby's funeral and you think you have the rights to come in here, without my permission and tell me this information? Really? As if I am not in so much pain as it is and yet you must come down here to taunt me?". I could feel Katie becoming more aggressive, I stepped back and sighed "look, I thought I'd just remind you, okay?". Straight after responding I regretted my choice of words.
Katie started punching my chest weakly and sobbed "You think you would show some sort of humanity but no, you're still the prick who left me for the bitch who did this to my baby". I sigh "look, I didn't come here to be called names and babe I'm the prick you fell in love with, what does that make you?". Katie gathered enough strength then pushed me up against the door and then punched the small window, it smashed into thousands of small pieces and left her hand bleeding. She gulped "I think you better leave now". Without saying a word, I was escorted out of the building.
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Jamie's P.O.V.
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Decisions...at the time seem so little and pointless but later on amount to something significant. Simply making a decision for your own pleasure can sometimes lead to hurting those you love around you. I never doubted my love for Nicky once but that never stopped the endless amount of stupid situation I involved myself in. Stefan puts his hand on my right shoulder and looks down "It's time to get to the funeral, it's going to be okay mate". At last, the great Stefan without a drink in his hand, never thought I'd live to see the day. I look out the huge hotel windows and think to myself 'It wasn't right'. I looked at Stefan and smiled "You think she'll be alright? Nicky's not been herself lately, in fact since that day we've barely spoke two words to each other". Stefan pats my back "Don't worry man, I'm sure she is just shaken up from everything that has occured, I'll see you at the church". I watch Stefan walk away and think to myself 'he is probably right, well he usually always was'.
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Nicky's P.O.V.
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All these decisions that are made throughout your life...you never really know the impact until it's too late. I was just a fragile girl wanting to feel love and along that journey of love, I've ended up betrayed and broken. I never understood it, why Sarah felt the need to try and be like me? If anything, most of the time I wish I was someone else. My sister stops my chain of thoughts and looks down "I've laid the funeral outfit on your bed, take your time". Summer was about to walk away but then looks back "Don't you think he deserves some sort of reply? Even if it is just a one word reply?". I knew Jamie deserved a response from me but I was not in the right mindset to reply and I still did not know what I wanted. I looked at myself in the mirror and while applying my eyeliner replied "I am not ready and you should respect that". Summer left my room and closed the door as she left.
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Katie's P.O.V.
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As I walked through the church barriers I felt uneasy, I never imagined anything like this happening to me so soon. I just wanted her back, I would literally do anything to have her back in my arms. As I enter the room where my little baby was laid in a coffin, I burst out crying and fell onto the floor. Nicky ran to me and helped pick me up, everyone was worried but looking down. I didn't blame them, what could you ask a mother who had just lost her baby? how she was? If anything that would just anger me even more.
I felt various emotions at the same time, I was sad for losing my baby, angry because she didn't deserve it and lonely because there was just this empty feeling inside of me. I looked into Nicky's eyes and then looked down "I am just going to go stay in the back room till the service begins". Nicky understood that I needed time on my own and released my arm from her grip. As I sat in the room on my own, I looked into the mirror and went into my own little world. After a while I realise there was someone standing in the room, I jumped up from a fright and noticed it was Jason.
Jason walked closer to me and held my hand. I was so confused, since when was Jason caring or understanding. Maybe he finally grew a heart, losing our baby maybe made him have feelings. Jason smiles in an empathetic way "I never really had the chance to get to know her but it doesn't hurt any less". Jason hugs me tightly while I cry, he really had changed and it felt comforting.
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Jason's P.O.V.
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I slowly pulled away from the hug and wiped her tears away. "We still have each other, we don't have to be lonely because of this situation". I slowly lean in closer to her and kiss her on the lips. Katie pushes me away and slaps me across the face. For a girl, she was actually quite strong and I felt the sting. Katie laughs while crying "Are you serious?". I was confused "What?", she looked up trying to stop herself from crying "Our baby passed away not that long ago and you are already up to your old tricks". She wiped her tears "You are pathetic and weak, can you not live without having a puppet to control and hypnotise?". I attempt to hold her hand but she pushes me away and opens the door, she shouts "That should you in that coffin and not my beautiful baby girl". She looks at me with anger "I think you better leave now". I roll my eyes and walk out of the door, I turn around before she shuts the door and sigh "You're going to need me, you know that don't you?". Katie slams the door in my face.
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Jamie's P.O.V.
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I finished washing my hands in the church toilets and walked into the service room, the first person that caught my eyes were Nicky. I was not sure if I should approach her and ask her why she has been avoiding but then the music began to play and everyone was asked to sit down. Friends and family were asked to sit on the first rows of each seating plan. Nicky was sitting on the opposite side from me and I could not tell if it was intentionally. I was sat besides Stefan, who looked like he was already about to burst into tears. I patted his back "you alright mate?", Stefen looked down "I just don't understand why the world is so cruel". I wondered the same thing myself since that day. I looked around and cannot see Jason anywhere, I walk up to Katie and ask her "Where is Jason? He is going to miss the service". Katie cries "I told him to go away, we don't need him here and he was never going to be a part of my baby's life anyway".
Inside I felt that it was unfair keeping a father away from his daughter's funeral but who was I to judge, this whole situation was unfair. I told the band to stop the music as I was about to read my eulogy. I approached the stand and could see Nicky staring intensely, waiting for the words to come out of my mouth but I was lost for words. I didn't even know what to say because in a way I felt responsible for her death, I know it sounds crazy because I was not the one who held her and jumped off the building but I could have tried to calm Sarah down. How am I meant to give a speech for a innocent baby which I couldn't save. I looked into Katie's eyes and mouthed an apology and walked off the stage.
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Stefan's P.O.V.
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I rush after Jamie, and find him in the toilets. He is splashing water all over his face and looks a complete mess. I ask him "What's wrong mate?" and he bursts into tears "I can't do this anymore, I feel consumed with guilt. I feel like I could have saved her man! I could have saved her!". I comfort Jamie and tell him "Look none of this is your fault, you tried your best and sometimes it just doesn't work out the way it should but all you can do now is be there for Katie". Jamie tries to stop crying and nods "You are right, I won't let life pass me by". Jamie walks out the toilets motivated to do the right thing.
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Katie's P.O.V.
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After Jamie's outburst I knew I had to be strong for everyone and most importantly be there for my baby girl. I walked up onto the stage and looked down at everyone who came to attend this funeral. I was quite overwhelmed by all the support. I placed the piece of paper with my eulogy written on it neatly on the podium, I gulped and felt like I could not breathe. I looked up to see all the people sitting before me and started crying. "I simply cannot put into words the emotions I am currently feeling because it is very ambivalent. I-I just feel this...this enormous empty hole in my heart...one that cannot be filled right now...I am not sure it can ever be filled". I looked down at the paper, my tears had smudged half the writing. I try to wipe my tears away but as I wipe my tears more come rolling down my cheeks. "I will never forget the day I held my baby girl in my arms for the first time...it was...it was not expected but what a beautiful surprise...one that I will never regret in my life".
Nicky, Jamie and Stefan walked onto the stage to give me their support, Nicky stood on my right and Jamie and Stefan stood on my left. They both held onto my hands, I was shaking uncontrollably. I cried "I will never understand why this happened and I will never forget every excruciating pain I felt and currently am feeling because every time I open my eyes I am faced with the reality that she is no longer with us...and...and when I close my eyes I faced with her beautiful face that I-I will never be able to feel again". I close my eyes and I am taken back to the day she was taken from me. I start losing my breathe, I am digusted and I shout "I CAN'T DO THIS, I CAN'T LIVE WITHOUT HER!!". Stefan grabs me into a tight hug and stokes my hair "You are going to get through this Katie, please be strong". I give up and give in to the hug, I am completely in loss of control. I breathe in deeply, I try to bring myself back to a mindset that could possibly, just barely scrape through this day. I look at everyone and crumpled my face as I cry "I am sorry everyone, this is not why you all attended this funeral, you came to pay your respects and I-I just...just I-I...I am sorry".
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Stefan's P.O.V.
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As we all exit the stage area I notice Jamie grip Nicky's wrist but I walked away as I acknowlegded the fact that they have various things to discuss between the two of them. I scrolled around the room to see if I could find Katie, but she was no where to be seen. I involved myself in many conversations but they were all very upsetting as it was about how they were unable to see the baby before it was too late. It all felt quite overwhelming and I felt the need to walkout of the building for fresh air. The weather had changed from being a thunderstorm to a calm breeze. As I was about to sit down on the curb I noticed Katie had already beaten me to it, I sit down next to Katie who was still shaking and crying. I took off my blazer and wrapped it around Katie, I also took the drink off her and put it aside. I looked into her eyes, noticing all the smudged make up around her eyes and smiled "You still look beautiful". Katie looked down, I gave her a one handed hug "I know life is shit right now and probably will be for a very long time but Katie I know you and you have never been one to let life screw you over and just lie there and take it".
Katie looks up and tries to hold her tears back, she half heartedly laughs "You always just know what to say, don't you?". I hug her tighter and smile "Because I'm secretly superman", Katie softly punches me on my left arm and sighs "I will never stop feeling like this, will I?". I pursed my lips "Honestly? I don't think that is possible but you know what you can do? You can ease that pain". Katie looks into my eyes hopelessly "And how am I suppose to do that?", I grabbed her hand and took her back into the church.
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Katie's P.O.V.
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I was quite confused to why we were just standing in front of my baby's coffin, I looked up at Stefan "Was this suppose to make me feel better? because honestly I feel worse...you aren't really good at this are you?". Stefan smacked his palm onto his forehead "No, you need to say your goodbye to Emma properly or you will regret this very moment that you never got to have with your baby". I thought to myself about it for a while, I guess it made sense...afterall how can you try to move on from the excruciating pain if you won't release it all out. I looked down into the open casket and held onto my baby's precious tiny hand and took a deep breath "I don't want you to feel like I am trying to forget you because that is far from it, I will always always remember you and keep you in my heart forever". I closed my eyes and let the tears escape "I am pleased that you are finally in peace, that nothing in this world will ever scar my beautiful baby and that you are so pure...so innocent". I leaned down and softly kissed my baby "I will forever love you, goodbye my sweet darling Emma".
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Jamie's P.O.V.
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The bright sky finally faded into darkness. Nicky allowed me to drive us to Katie's house for the baby's wake. I was in the garden with Nicky, it was a beautiful area - probably because this is where Katie held all her summer parties. There were fairy lights all over the garden and flowers arranged perfectly. I was sat on the edge of a black bench handle and looked at Nicky, as she was sitting next to a pond, which had nice arranged stones surrounding it. We had both been sitting here for quite a while now, in silence. I broke the silence by asking "Is there a reason why you have not returned any of my calls, texts or messages?". Nicky sits there, staring at me with her piercing eyes and can't seem to say a word. I begin to feel a little irritated, I sigh "Are you being serious Nicky? I don't even deserve an explaination? After everything we have been through?". Nicky finally speaks "I am so tired", I was confused "Look, I will drive you home but I just need to hear this response". Nicky looks down as tears stream down her cheeks, she starts picking out stones from the floor and quietly says "I am tired of us, of this and...I-I can't do it anymore Jamie". We both stare at each other with hurt in our eyes.
I remove myself from the bench and kneel down next to Nicky, I take hold of one of her hands "Please don't do this, I know we argue, I know we don't always make the best decisions but we love each other...and...and that is all that matters". I start kissing her hands "I need you" and I recieve a reaction I did not expect, Nicky moves her hand away and softly pushes me away. Nicky stands up and with a louder tone replies "DON'T...please...you cannot do this to me!". Nicky looks up at the sky trying to stop her tears from falling, she bites her bottom lip "I was only fifteen Jamie...FIFTEEN! You broke my heart and I forgave you because I LOVED YOU! You promised it would never happen again AND WHAT?!". I tried to pull Nicky in for a hug but she pushed me back and shouted "You just cheated on me again, not only cheated but with my best friend". Nicky sobbed "My best friend...I cannot help but feel at fault...if I never fell for your stupid, stupid lies we would not be here right now...this is not fair!!".
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Nicky's P.O.V.
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I felt this release of emotions and I broke down onto the floor. Jamie held onto me and whispered "I am sorry, it is all my fault but you know I have changed...I would do anything for you. You are the only girl that ever mattered to me and you are the one I want to spend the rest of my life with. My only regret in life is not getting to call you my wife, not being able to wake up to you knowing you are mine forever and not being able to see that you are everything I need...but I see that now and all this, everything that took place has led us to this very moment where we can try to at least hold onto this strong and true love with feel for each other". Jamie cries "I love you so much, I need you to know that. Please tell me you still love me even a tiny inkling of how much I love you". I confessed "I still do love you". Jamie softly presses his lips up against my cheek.
Jamie was about to hug me but Katie and Stefan entered the garden. Katie interrupts "What is wrong with you two? Even on the day of my baby's funeral you can somehow make everything about you. As always, when we were growing up you two always had the spotlight. But you would think you would have some respect to support me on this very difficult day and to try an ease my pain? but no". Stefan holds onto Katie and keeps her from shivering. I turned my back on all of them and started skipping stones. I apologised in a quite tone "I never meant for this to happen". Jamie wipes his tears "I apologise, we are just sorting a few things out and I know this is not the right place but it is very important". Stefan and Katie could feel the tension between us two and decided to leave, before Katie leaves she warns us "You better be back inside soon, I really need you two right now". Jamie replies to Katie as she walks away back into the house "I just need to ask Nicky one last".
He turns back to Nicky and asks "So, where does this leave us?", I softly breathe out and turn around to look at Jamie. I wholeheartedly say "We have our whole lives in front of us and I know we wished to share it together but things change and people fall apart but it is time I put myself first for a change". I kiss Jamie on the cheek and smile "I am very proud of the man you have become, a man who Damon would be proud to call his father and I would never take him away from you". I picked myself up from the ground and walked away.