She didn't move, still facing the wall, but her heart fluttered inexplicably, feeling the weight on the bed shift as Tony settled on her side.
They stayed like that for a while, sharing nothing but silence. Angrboda felt at peace for the first time in a long time and it was hard not to hope for this borrowed moment to never end.
⁂
"I'M GOING TO leave S.H.I.E.L.D." she whispered, reluctantly breaking the silence.
"What?!"
She felt his body shift to her side, trying to meet her gaze but she still wouldn't turn. She didn't have the heart to face him; not yet at least.
"Is this about what happened earlier?" he wondered, seemingly agitated "What the hell did Fury say to you?!"
"Nothing I didn't already know," she muttered, curling up into herself a little more.
After all, it was the truth. Right from the start, S.H.I.E.L.D. had proven time and time again that transparency and courtesies were not their priority. She couldn't say she was surprised to hear that Fury had no remorse committing atrocities if it was for the good of Earth and the organisation.
"Angie..." he trailed off dejectedly "You know I'm not crazy about S.H.I.E.L.D either but working as a team is our best chance to defeat the Chitauri."
"And you can still do that! But I just... I've never worked well with others," she admitted reluctantly "Maybe I'm not meant for this."
"Are you kidding me... you're the one holding the team together!"
The irony in his statement made her chuckle sadly "That's nice... but you don't have to lie, you know."
"You think I'm lying? Angie, think about it: if it weren't for you, Rogers and I would still be ripping each other to shreds; Natasha would've gotten trampled on by Banner, which means Barton would've never trusted any of us and Thor would be completely alienated."
She stayed silent, feeling increasingly uneasy. What he said made sense, she guessed he might have a perspective, but she definitely wasn't convinced "I wish Fury saw it that way," she mumbled.
"To hell with Fury. We're not marching to his fife!"
"I couldn't agree more..." she sighed wistfully "But I was thinking, maybe it's best if I take on Loki alone, find a way to surprise him and—"
"Are you insane?!" he dropped firmly "I'd never let you do that."
"Tony... I'm not asking."
"Then I'll go with you," he shrugged resolutely.
"No!" another wave of guilt spiked in her gut "Did you forget what happened to Phil?!"
Tony cracked a small smile although she couldn't see it "Then I guess you understand why I can't let you do this either."
She didn't answer. There was something in his tone that made her want to turn around badly, it made her crave the familiar warmth of his gaze on her. The proximity of their bodies was unnerving and thrilling at the same time.
Tony, on the other hand, felt like a stack of rocks were weighing him down. He was ridiculously aware of everything: the way her hair sprawled on the mattress like a pitch black storm, the way her arm rested on the curve of her waist, the soft sound of her breathing, the hint of her scent...
They stayed motionless for a long moment until finally, his arm snaked its way around her, sending a shiver down her spine. She leaned back against his chest, listening to his steady heartbeat like a hypnotizing harmony as their hands finally met, fingers intertwining slowly.
"When all of this is over, I want you to come with me to Malibu."
His words echoed in her ear long after he uttered them and it left her breathless.
"What about Pepper?"
He was slightly surprised by her question. The least you could say was that he did not particularly appreciate the mention of his former assistant.
"What about her?" he wondered.
"I'm not sure she'd like that."
Tony couldn't help but let out a chuckle "Probably not. Who cares."
Angie's irritation spiked slightly. He was avoiding the point yet again "I thought she meant something to you."
"Angie... Pepper and I used to be together, but she left me a long time ago. I though you knew that."
"Contrary to popular belief, I don't have psychic powers," she grumbled "You never even mentioned it."
He heaved a long sigh and Angrboda could tell it was hard for him to talk about her. Thankfully she still had her back turned to him. It would've been beyond humiliating if he saw the small grin that wouldn't leave her lips.
"We were together for barely a year," Tony began in a low voice "I really did love her but she became increasingly... demanding," he cleared his throat uncomfortably "She wanted me to ditch the suit, focus on the Stark Industries... turn me into my father, basically..."
She opened her mouth, trying to think of something to say that might ease his tension. It was only after a long pause that she finally muttered "For what it's worth, I think the suit brings out the best in you."
He cracked a smile "You would've hated me before the suit. I was a pompous piece of shit."
"More than now?" she sneered "Didn't think it was possible."
Tony chuckled frankly and she could feel the grip of his hand tighten around hers.
"For the record," she told him "You would've hated me before I became the Guardian of the Chitauri Scepter. I was a foolish pushover."
His eyebrows rose in surprise "A pushover? You?!"
She laughed silently "Yeah, I've come a long way."
His thumb began drawing circles on the back of her hand. The silence lingered for a long time and she could feel her heart hammering almost too rigorously in her chest.
Tony knew what would've happened if she had turned around at that moment. Undoubtedly, she knew it too and she couldn't deny she wanted him to kiss her... but something held her back. Something she couldn't quite pinpoint. It stood there between them, like a stake.
What else was there to say that he didn't already know?
Perhaps that she was scared; that the uncertainty of Earth's future feels merciless, that she wouldn't be able to handle something like Jötunheim's destruction a second time. Only that she feels like a stranger everywhere she goes, that she has never doubted herself so much, that the thought of facing the Chitauri terrifies her... Only that everything feels new, exhausting, hopeless and exhilarating all at once.
But even with that, even with everything, she didn't think she had ever felt the way she was feeling at that very moment, with the cold of the night slowly creeping in and his arms holding her close and the silent tears pearling down her cheeks and the beauty, the joy, the doubt and the misery...
She said none of that. It wasn't necessary after all, he knew most of it already; and so he simply held her, until her eyes closed and her breath steadied. She fell into a dreamless sleep and only then did Tony let go and silently leave the room.
⁂
The Chitauri were coming. No one at S.H.I.E.L.D. could deny it anymore. The tension on the Helicarrier had become palpable.
Bruce was spending hours on end in the lab and so far, all he managed to detect were the increasing gamma radiations around New York. The radiations didn't seem to have a source and that's what puzzled him more than anything. He could only guess they came from the reactor that contained the Tesseract. It meant Loki's portal was on the verge of completion.
Angrboda was called in to the supply storage that day, along with Natasha. Apparently, S.H.I.E.L.D's department of equipment and weaponry had some state-of-the-art equipment to give the two women.
"Since we're on the brink of war, might as well fight in style," Natasha told her with a smirk, but Angrboda had a hard time finding humor in the situation.
They went to the division of equipment on level D of the aircraft and a man — who introduced himself as Agent Kanan — welcomed them in. He led the way over to a stand where two female suits were displayed.
Frankly they didn't look very different from the suits most agents were supplied with, but Angrboda didn't comment. There was no need to crush the excitement of Agent Kanan whose eyes sparkled as he presented them with the new gears.
He gestured to the first suit, an all black one-piece, zipped up on the front with two gun holsters attached around the thighs "This one is Agent Romanoff's," he said eagerly "Lightweight, fireproof, resistant to all kinds of movements. You won't find more malleable material," he then pointed at the gun holsters "There's a selection of blaster pistols to choose from, they're also lightweight, high-precision and self sustaining," he explained with a wide grin.
Natasha listened with interest, arms crossed over her chest and nodded approvingly. Agent Kanan then turned to the second suit "This one's for you," he told Angrboda.
She inspected the black two-piece suit and couldn't help but crack a smile. It was sleeveless with a crossed bandeau-wrap top and mitt gloves. The bottom was in a similar black supple fabric with a holster at the belt.
"It looks like my old outfit," she mused, remembering the Jötnar clothes she had traveled to Earth in. They were long gone now but Agent Kanan's intention brought a smile to her face.
"I took a few liberties with the design, I hope you don't mind."
"Not at all, this is great," her smile widened "Thank you."
"It's all in Lycra blended with microfibers of adamantium, even a missile wouldn't rip a hole through the fabric," he said proudly "We also made something else for you, at the request of Agent Romanoff."
Angrboda glanced at Natasha with surprise "What is he talking about?"
The Black Widow only shrugged mysteriously "Just wait, you're going to love it."
The Agent disappeared in the depth of the S.H.I.E.L.D's weapon vault. He came back a few seconds later holding a long shaft-like object, wrapped in a dark suede fabric. He set it on the counter in front of them and unwrapped the item, revealing a double bladed spear. The weapon was splendid, Angrboda had never seen anything like it. The shaft was long and thin, mounted from both side by intricately designed blades.
Natasha smiled satisfyingly as Angrboda's eyes widened in awe "You said you preferred more hands-on weapons and so I asked S.H.I.E.L.D to manufacture something inspired by the Chitauri Scepter..."
Angrboda looked back and forth between Natasha, Kanan and the spear "I... I don't know what to say!"
"We made it out of our best batch of Vibranium," Kanan pitched in "The blades can cut through just about anything like a hot knife through butter!"
"I ordered it after you saved my ass from the Hulk," Natasha said casually "My way of saying thank you."
Angrboda couldn't lie and say she wasn't touched "It means a lot Nat. Thank you."
Natasha grinned smugly and bumped her friend's shoulder "Don't mention it."
Angrboda then turned to Kanan "And you did a terrific job, thank you."
Agent Kanan fussed so much, she wouldn't be surprised if he started blushing. His boyish grin spread wider and he shook Angrboda's hand vigorously "It's an honor, we're putting all our hopes on the Avengers, it's the least I can do."
We're putting all our hopes on the Avengers...
He had meant it as a compliment but his comment was daunting, to say the least. The stress weighed a ton already, she really did not need the added pressure.
And yet, he was right. In the short months since the formation of the team, the Avengers had become the elite of Earth's Defense force... exactly as Phil Coulson had hoped they would be.
The time to prove they were worthy of this responsibility was fast approaching.
________________________
The picture in the media above is how I imagined Angie's new spear to look like!
And this is where Phase 4 ends guys! Phase 5 will be the final part in the book and there's a LOT yet to come, can't wait for you guys to read it!
Also I just pre-booked my ticket for Infinity War on opening day I'M SO EXCITED BUT ALSO SO ANXIOUS I s2g I will lose my shit if they touch a hair on Tony's head... that is, if the anticipation hasn't taken a toll on my sanity before then
As always, don't forget to like and leave your opinions/predictions/suggestions ♡
-L