TOBIAS POV
It is safe to say that even with all of the memories that Tris and I made here—and even though those memories make me nostalgic—I do not miss this place.
TJ is excited to be in Chicago though, despite the long plane ride, and as we drive through the streets on our way to our old Dauntless apartment, I hear him expressing it in the backseat. I smile when I see him pointing in the rearview mirror at buildings I have known my whole life. If only he knew that those buildings were not always upright...
"Mama!" he crows with delight. "Look! It's so big!"
"Yeah," Tris laughs next to me, half asleep. I'm not doing too well myself. It is not easy to wake up early in the morning and get two young kids packed and on a plane. "That's called the Hancock building. I have zip lined off of it a few times."
"What's that?"
"It's like flying," she describes.
Suddenly Natalie lets out a wail in the backseat that has us all cringing. She hasn't been in the greatest mood today. In fact, I'd say that her temper is currently explosive.
"TJ, did her pacifier fall out?" Tris sighs.
"Yeah."
"Can you put it back in, please?"
He agrees to do as she says. "Heew, Natty," he coos while I'm assuming he puts the pacifier back in his sister's mouth. Her crying slows to disgruntled humming, and it relieves the pounding headache I have acquired.
"Okay, we're here," I announce as I pull up into the Dauntless compound's garage. There are many more cars parked along the walls, a contribution of the Incendiaries. Since we left, they have built an airport here, renovated buildings, and fixed crumbling roads, which have all made life here much easier.
"Yay!" my son shrieks as he scrambles out of the car. Tris is already out and grabs him before he can go far.
"You have to stay by us this whole trip. This is a big place with lots of people," she explains.
"Okay," he giggles before running uncoordinatedly over to me.
I bend down and steady him with my hands on his shoulders. "Hey, I know you're excited, but I need you to take your suitcase, okay?" I say.
He nods enthusiastically and jumps up and down as I take his bag out of the trunk. Maybe we were wrong to give him sugar...
"Do we have everything?" Tris asks as she walks over to the back of the car.
"I think so." Noticing that she has Natalie's carrier on her arm, I offer, "Let me take her. You can just take the diaper bag."
Sagging in relief, she then steps on her tiptoes to kiss my cheek with gratitude. I grin like an idiot because even a gesture like that can still be enough to awaken my younger, lovesick self, especially in a place like this.
With TJ corralled in between us, we each wheel our suitcases up a ramp that leads us directly from the dark garage to the open Pit floor.
Our son is shocked because of everything: the atmosphere, the enormity, the amount of people milling around. Even Natalie is taking as much in as she can from the carrier, her wide eyes looking straight past me when I look down to check on her.
On the other hand, Tris and I throw an unsurprised glance at one another. A glance filled with nostalgia and like we both know a joke that the others around us don't. We are back in our old home, where just a few years ago we were young and naive and facing relationship issues. We were both unhappy over something and still recovering from war.
And here we are now, grown up, happily married, and currently raising two children. We faced all odds and have come out together rather than apart, and I couldn't be prouder to be here in this state.
"Welcome to Dauntless," I say to the kids. Just as I said to their mother many years ago.
xXxXx
"Fourrrrr!" Zeke slurs. "Why you kickin' us out? Why don't you just have a drink, man..."
"I think I'm fine, Zeke," I say in between a yawn.
Shauna scoffs at her husband and throws his arm over her shoulder. "Zeke, I think we should leave these guys alone for tonight. They're clearly exhausted," she states. Then with an apologetic look, she tells me, "Sorry. His drinking habits clearly haven't stopped. I swear I'm dealing with a child sometimes."
"Zeke? A child? No," I tease. She flashes me a smile and drags him out the door. "Bye, Shauna."
"Bye. See you tomorrow."
When I close the door behind them, it takes everything in me not to slide down to the floor in exhaustion. As soon as we got to our old Dauntless apartment that was thankfully still reserved for us, our friends were throwing us an impromptu "welcome back" party. The kids were fawned over, and Tris and I had a great time visiting with everyone, but now I couldn't be more glad that they are all gone. We travelled all day and took care of kids and threw a celebration, and now I am spent.
"Daddy, I'm seepy," TJ whines while rubbing his eyes.
I pick him up and deposit him on our bed, where I start helping him change into pajamas. "Me too," I complain. "Arms up." He does as he is told, and I replace his black shirt with a softer, long sleeved one. "Did you like seeing your aunts and uncles though?" He has only really met them before on video calls, so this must have been strange to him.
He nods. "Yeah. I like Wiah," he mumbles.
I chuckle and pull his pajama pants up on him. "I like him too." When I see him yawn again, I suggest, "Why don't you go to sleep? Mommy and I will be there in a minute."
"Okay," he agrees. I help him lie down and cover him up with a blanket, and he is out like a light.
Tris is in the living room, rocking a cranky Natalie as best she can. I can tell that her feet are throbbing by her posture and that she is as beat as I am, so I approach her and hold out my hands.
"Thanks," she murmurs as she hands our baby over. "Do you mind trying to put her to sleep while I get ready for bed?"
"Not at all. Try to hurry though. You need some rest, Tris," I comment.
She hums and stumbles into the bedroom to change. Meanwhile, I attempt to calm Natalie enough so that she can sleep in this unknown place. Her day has been worse than the rest of ours with almost no naps and constant noise.
"Hey, sleepy girl," I whisper. "Don't you want to fall asleep now? That's what you've wanted all day."
Her head stays idle on my shoulder, her eyes glued to the corner of the tattoo on my neck. The obvious bags under her eyes pull at my heartstrings. As gently as I can, I trace her soft cheek with my thumb while I think about how infinitely lucky I am to have such a beautiful daughter.
"I bet you did have at least a little fun today with everyone talking about how cute you are."
She smiles around her pacifier as if she knows what I'm saying.
"Yeah, you like the attention." With barely any movement, I keep talking to distract her as she slowly but surely drifts off. "You'll get more tomorrow when we see your aunts and uncles again. Plus you're going to meet your grandpa for the first time."
Her eyes flutter shut, but she is not quite there yet, so I continue.
"You'll get to see where your mom and I grew up, before we came here, to Dauntless," I say with a sigh. And then mostly to myself, "Even back then in such a homey place where families were encouraged, I still never saw myself with this future. But then I came to Dauntless, and then I met your mom..."
A little whimper escapes the fragile baby resting on my shoulder. I adjust her and plant a kiss on her head.
"That was when I could see this, at least until the war, which I don't want to get into. You shouldn't ever be introduced to such horrors."
One day, I will tell her. I will tell her my story, and how I led an army, and how I miraculously survived, and how all the while I was fighting to get her mother back home. But it will not be today.
"Anyway, I'm being sentimental, but I never saw something as beautiful as you and your brother in my future. Well, in our future. I thought one of us would die before we could get here because of the situations we were in. I always thought I wasn't capable of having a family, even if we did survive.
"Natalie, I don't deserve you," I murmur. "I shouldn't even be in this position. But I'm extremely lucky and extremely grateful. And I wouldn't give this up for the world."
By now she is fully unconscious, but I hope that my message is clear to her, and I think that maybe she does understand without knowing words.
Finally worn on the verge of collapsing, I carry her into the bedroom and to the crib, which we already had here—I don't like to think about it, but this crib was originally for someone else. After setting her down as carefully as I can so I don't wake her, I slide into bed with a thankful sigh.
"I'm tired," I declare.
Tris hums and doesn't even stir when replying, "Then go to sleep."
Turning onto my side so I can narrow my eyes at her, I nearly wake up—and crush—our son, who sleeps soundly in between us. This bed is technically not large enough for all three of us, but it will have to do for a few days.
Despite her obvious exhaustion, she drags her eyes open and meets mine from across our pillows. "Shauna told me that she and Zeke are trying for a baby," she whispers.
"About time," I remark. It doesn't come as much of a surprise, although I don't know why Shauna didn't tell me directly. I would have been just as happy for her as Tris is.
But what does come as a surprise is the flash of jealousy that briefly takes over Tris's face.
"You want another one," I infer by the look.
I don't know why it is unexpected. Maybe I just thought that with the timing, while she was currently wrestling with Natalie all day, the last thing she would be considering is another baby.
She closes her eyes. "Yes." When they open, they avoid mine, instead finding the little boy dozing next to us. "Not right now. But eventually."
I smile at the thought of another Natalie or TJ. Is it even a question whether or not I want more of this?
I agree, "Yeah."
She switches the subject with a dismissive shake of the head. "It was good to see everyone tonight."
"It was." And then when I remember, I ask, "How was Christina?"
Tris and Christina became friends once again after our last visit, when TJ was only a baby. I still avoid her like the plague, but Tris decided to push the incident aside and gain her friend back. She told me that after reflecting on the war for so long, such petty things no longer bother her. Plus, I think she found it easy to move on with the knowledge that I would rather die than cheat on her.
"She's fine," my wife answers. "Still too bubbly, but I don't ever see her, so..."
"True." After a brief pause, I comment, "Natalie and Marlene seemed to get along pretty well."
Tris groans and rolls onto her back. "Which makes no sense. She acts so cynical all of the time. How does she get along with someone who is the exact opposite?" I stifle a laugh because of how she is referring to our baby. Although I have to admit that her observation contains some truth. "If I were to act like Marlene, she would stare at me like I was insane."
"She likes the attention," I say. "It's not that she doesn't like you." Because I know without a doubt that self-deprecating thoughts are running through her mind. Tris has always been like this.
At first she may have been joking, but now I can tell that she is actually upset about it by the way she huffs out a harsh breath. "Let's face it, she likes you a lot more than she likes me."
Propping myself up on my side, I reach out for her hand. "Tris, you're being ridiculous. Natalie loves you." How could she believe otherwise? I've seen the way our daughter immediately looks to her when she is in need, or when she is frightened.
My wife just sighs. "It's just...you're so good with her, and she always calms down when you're holding her, but when I do..." she trails off.
"That's because I'm boring," I joke. She shakes her head at me, but I do crack a smile out of her. "Hey. You're a great mother, okay? I don't want to hear anymore on this subject."
It only angers me when she makes such false statements. If she only knew what she looks like with Natalie naturally propped up on her hip, or with TJ holding her hand and walking by her side...
"Okay," she relents, too fatigued to argue.
Reaching out for her over our son, I press my lips to her temple before replacing them with my forehead.
"Are you excited to see your dad tomorrow?" I whisper.
"Yeah. Are you okay with it?"
"Of course." Andrew Prior and I still may not get along too well, but we try to keep a cordial appearance. The kids are my priority, and they are not going to grow up without a grandfather just because I'm selfish. Which reminds me. "Only because you have to put up with Evelyn," I tease.
While my mother did make nice with her daughter-in-law, it has been a rocky relationship that will probably never work out.
"It's fine," Tris murmurs. Running a hand over TJ's dark hair, she continues, "I'd do anything for them."
"I know." Which proves my earlier point about her being a mother, but I keep it to myself. "Me too."
We lie in silence until I am on the verge of teetering off into unconsciousness. That is when she says, "Tobias?"
"Hmm."
"Remember when we got back home from Seattle, and you told me you loved me, and I didn't say anything back?"
I frown. "Yes."
"I'm sorry about that. I know that must've hurt, and now that my mind is back, I realize that."
I want to tell her not to dwell on the past, but I have done so numerous times today. So I just whisper, "It's okay, Tris," before sleep claims us both.
xXxXx
You could throw me back into any time of my life, and I would still say that walking through Abnegation is unsettling.
This time is a little better though, only because I have TJ on my shoulders and Natalie is in her carrier on Tris's arm. My kids always keep me relaxed and ready for any situation, even now, with pairs of prying eyes watching my every move as I walk through the tightly packed community.
"Daddy, whew awe we?" my son asks, clutching my hands in case I drop him. Which I won't.
"This is where your mom and I grew up," I reply. "Your grandpa still lives here, so we're going to visit him."
Tris approaches the door to her old house and knocks, so I remove TJ from my shoulders. He frowns at me when I do, but then he is preoccupied with meeting his grandfather for the first time face-to-face, or at least the first time he is old enough to remember.
Andrew and I shake hands and exchange pleasantries as we move into the house and take a seat on the couches. From then on, he and Tris discuss everything from big events in our life to everyday activities. I pay attention and act polite, but I'm uneasy. It is never comfortable to be in an Abnegation house, let alone to sit for an hour or so and talk to Andrew Prior. As much as I love Tris and will put up with him for her sake, it bothers me how he barely acknowledges me to this day.
So I turn my attention primarily to my kids, who are also as bored as I am. I watch them play with each other in the center of the living room, TJ with his new toys that he was given upon our arrival and Natalie with whatever happens to be on the floor in front of her.
Their childhoods are so much different from mine, and I can't help but compare them in this house that looks identical to the one I grew up in. There were no toys to play with when I was young, and certainly no siblings or friends. My mother never coddled me, and my father, of course, beat me. My childhood was not pleasant to say the least.
I guess that is why my children have the life that they do, so I suppose I should be thankful. My bad experiences have led me to treat them right. They are healthy and happy because I know exactly what not to do when it comes to parenting.
Lowering myself off the couch and onto the floor, I smile at Natalie who has propped herself up and is staring at me with wide, blue eyes.
"Hey," I whisper so that I don't interrupt Tris's conversation. "C'mere."
She becomes excited when I motion for her to come to me, even to the point of squealing. Though she is only a few feet away, she is still seven months and hasn't learned much about crawling yet.
"Can you come to Daddy?" Never in my life did I see myself cooing to a baby. Well, here I am.
Natalie gets a glint in her eye, one that closely resembles Tris's when she is set on something. With another squeal, she uses her hands to drag herself forward. I encourage her until she makes it a foot or so, and then I relieve her by picking her up so she doesn't have to crawl the rest of the way.
"Good job, baby girl," I murmur. She gives me a grin with her few teeth for the compliment.
While we sit together, TJ wanders over, growing restless from being cooped up in the small house with boring adults. He sits next to me and makes faces at Natalie, who rests contently in my lap and giggles every once in a while.
"Daddy," he whines, absentmindedly playing with my partial pinkie finger. He has developed a fascination for it ever since he discovered it was missing a couple weeks ago.
"What?"
"I wanna pway a game."
And honestly I am growing impatient as well, so I agree. "Okay. Let's go outside."
After handing Natalie off to Tris, I help TJ put his boots on and then pull on my own. We exit the house and step out onto the gravel that makes up the sidewalks. When I ask him what he wants to play, he responds with, "Hide and seek."
At first I am hesitant. I don't like the idea of him running off to someplace where I can't see him at all times. But it is a quiet day, and we are only in Abnegation. What could go wrong? Besides, he won't go far with those little toddler legs.
"Okay," I tell him. "But promise me you won't go far."
When he promises me, we begin our game. He runs off and hides while I count with my eyes closed. I find him behind one of the houses and scoop him up, getting him to laugh. Then during our next round, he tries to stay hidden behind a fence, which only makes him easier to spot in between the white posts in his Dauntless black. I catch him before he can make a run for it.
During the next round, I can't find him for a solid thirty seconds, which is strange. I check around each of the nearest buildings until I finally see him talking to a man.
Not just any man. Marcus.
In a rage, I quickly walk towards them, making sure to hide my son from his sight as soon as I get close enough. I size him up, and he gives me a familiar sneer that has only worsened with his old age. I feel TJ wrap his arms around my leg, and it causes a protective surge to rush through me.
All I can think is that he will not touch my son.
"Tobias," he says. His voice is rougher, his face sagging in places it didn't sag before. His hair is becoming whiter too. Marcus looks more decrepit than he actually is, and he is still willing to pick a fight with me? "I knew the boy looked familiar."
My nostrils flare at him, but I tell myself to relax before I lose it in front of my son. All of his wrongdoings, from the times he beat me to the way he tried to twist his way into my wife's mind to how he made her kill somebody, flash through my mind. No more pain will come to my family because of him.
"It's been many years, hasn't it?"
"Daddy?" my son innocently says.
With the urge to get him as far away from Marcus as possible, I tell him, "Hey, bud, why don't you go find your mom? Go knock on that door over there. That's where she is."
I point blindly to the house that I know is behind me, Tris's former house. Without looking, I hear him run to it, his little boots hitting the gravel.
"Let me make this clear," I growl at my father. I am so close to him that I can smell his foul breath. "You go anywhere near my family, even in the same room as them, and I will not hesitate to beat you to a bloody pulp. Is that understood?"
He chuckles. "Oh, Tobias. Your empty promises—"
Poor Marcus never learns. I slam him up against the side of a random house with my hand around his throat.
"Is that understood?" I snarl in his face. For years, I have managed to curb my temper, but when it comes to Marcus and my children... I picture him—the same coward who flayed my back with his belt—being within a few feet of Natalie and I shudder with fury.
"Y-yes," he gasps out. When I release him, he tries to maintain a neutral expression.
Brushing off my black jacket and glancing around, I pretend as if nothing just happened. "And if I find out that you touched my son in any way, I will come find you in a moment to deal with you."
With that I turn and walk away to Tris's old house, leaving him in the dust. As soon as I knock, she yanks the door open with a confused expression on her face.
"Who were you talking to?" she asks. Based on the fact that TJ is standing right behind her, he must have told her that I was having a conversation with someone and sent him away.
I look over her head. "Where's your father?"
"Making lunch." Therefore, it is safe to discuss what we need to discuss. I can't talk about Marcus, his friend, around him in a negative manner. I don't want to start another fight. Tris grabs my arm lightly, concern edged in her features. "What's going on? Why do you look so upset?"
I brush her off because she isn't my main concern right now. Instead, I kneel down in front of my son, who stares at me with wide, frightened eyes.
"Tobias, I need you to tell me something, okay? The whole truth," I say. When he hears his real name, he straightens because he knows that this is a serious matter. I rarely ever call him by our shared name. "What did that man say to you? Did he hurt you?"
He shakes his head. "No, Daddy."
I sigh in relief. Looks like there won't be violence in Abnegation today. "What happened?"
"He asked me fow my name," he recalls. "And I said I don't talk to stwangews. That's what you towd me to do, Daddy." My smart boy.
I smile softly and pull him into a hug, thankful that Marcus didn't lay a hand on him. "I did, didn't I?" When he starts wiggling in my grasp, I let him go. "You did the right thing, bud. I'm proud of you."
He grins at me before running back in the living room to play with his new toys. Meanwhile, I turn my attention back to Tris, who frowns knowingly.
"It was Marcus," she infers by my questions.
"Yes."
She sighs and crosses her arms in frustration. "He was one of the things I thought we were leaving behind when we moved."
Placing my hands on her shoulders, I meet her eyes. "Me too." I kiss her forehead. "But sometimes there are things that we shouldn't leave behind, things that have shaped us into who we are."
I wouldn't leave Chicago behind. We have too many good memories here, along with the bad. And now that our kids have visited, we will have even more good to add to the list.
xXxXx
This is probably the last part of this story. Thanks for everything guys, and keep an eye out for my story coming within the next couple weeks!💗