I sleep late the next morning.
The latest I've slept in a long time. If I sleep past 8 a.m., Pa gets cross with me. He wakes at 5 a.m. most mornings to begin work on the farm that he co-operates with my Uncle when he doesn't have building jobs.
The clock on my bedside table flashes at me, telling me its 9:34 a.m. I rub my eyes and look again, half-expecting my eyes to be playing tricks on me.
"Wow," I mumble to myself.
It's surprising that no one has come to wake me.
I stretch and groan loudly, before letting myself get up. I laugh at my appearance. In my shower last night I clearly didn't make much effort to rid my face makeup. I stagger into my bathroom and begin cleansing my skin and clearing away all last night's decorations.
Last night.
A dreamy smile lights up my face as I go about getting ready.
My mind is consumed with him. The flashbacks of last night feel so vivid, that I forget what I'm doing in the present, as I repeat the memory over and over, like a movie you can't watch enough times.
When I get to the kitchen, there's a note on the counter.
Gone out for the morning to the markets with Pa and Cal. Can you take Charlie for a walk and collect the eggs? Love you, see you later today xx
After making myself breakfast, I change into my flannelette button-up shirt. I roll it to my elbows, before going out the back door. The screen door creaks, like it does every time, and I walk onto the timber deck.
I cup my fingers into a curve around my mouth. "Charlie!"
A few moments later, our golden retriever comes bounding up to me. He leaps not-so-elegantly up the steps, his claws scraping against the wood.
"Hey boy," I greet him, rubbing the top of his head.
He nuzzles into my hand, his tongue flopping out of his mouth as he pants.
"Want to go get the eggs?" I say in an excited voice.
Trigger word: Eggs.
He begins to leap all around me, shaking with excitement.
"Come on!" I shout to him as I skip down the steps.
He runs along beside me, his ears that look a little large for his head flopping adorably.
I continue running until we reach our large chicken pen. The chooks often roam around by themselves, but we lock them up of a night, due to carpet snakes.
The pen gate is already open, Pa having let them out early this morning when he woke. Even though Charlie is a big dog and often runs into people, because he's so uncoordinated, the chooks never fear him. Sometimes they even fly and land on his back, not that he likes that very much.
The three orange-coloured hens begin to follow me, hoping that I will have food. I wander into the nesting area. I grab the bucket and begin to collect the eggs for Ma to sell later in the week. Charlie bounds around the pen, sniffing and searching for food he can steal.
As I walk back to the house, I see Heidi standing on my porch, her arms folded.
"Hey!" I greet her, shielding my eyes from the sun so I can see her better. "I didn't know you were coming over."
"Maybe if you bothered to check your phone this morning!" she grumbles back, not looking very impressed.
"Oh, I haven't even looked at it!" I explain to her, half-wondering how I haven't checked whether Haze has messaged me yet or not.
"Okay, whatever, you're forgiven," she tells me as I step onto the porch.
Charlie runs up to meet us, almost knocking over Heidi in the process. She crouches low and begins to give him a series of pats, while he licks her knee.
I open the back door and lock it in place so that it stays open. Charlie wanders in behind us, tail wagging.
"So?" she presses. "Tell me everything!"
I deposit the eggs into the fridge. "About?"
"Don't be annoying!" she argues with me, throwing her hands up. "I can't believe you two at the party last night! Thank God Caden arrived after you left. He would have made a scene, I'm sure of it."
I shudder at the thought. "Caden has no right."
"I know he doesn't, but it doesn't change the fact that he thinks he does."
I nod in agreement. After pouring myself and Heidi a glass of juice, I take a seat on one of the stools perched beside the kitchen island.
"What do you want to know?" I ask, taking a long sip of my juice.
"What happened after you left?"
"We went to the park. He piggy-backed me there," I tell her, recalling the memory with a goofy smile on my face.
"That is so cute! And then what?"
"Well..." my cheeks coloured. "We may have repeated what happened at the party."
"Oh my God," she squealed, clapping her hands together. "I am so happy and yet jealous of you right now. Keep going!"
"Then we talked and it was really nice. He's been so closed off. After that, he walked me home."
"Did he kiss you goodnight?" she shrieks, looking even happier than I do in this moment.
"Yes," I mumble, my cheeks burning pink.
"Oh my God," she repeats about six or so times.
She leaps to her feet and begins to shake me. "Are you going to date?"
"Slow down, we pretty much just met," I laugh, even though my heartbeat is gradually quickening at the thought. "I hardly know him!"
"Oh please, you two were all over each other last night! He doesn't look at anyone else but you."
I slap my hands to my cheeks in an attempt to cool them down. "I'm trying not to get my hopes up, just in case."
"Aw, probably a good idea. But I don't think you need to worry, he seems really into you. Clearly, you're into him!"
"Very much so," I nod with a smile. "I can't stop thinking about him. Is that weird?"
"No," she laughs, rolling her eyes. "That's normal."
"I didn't feel this way about Caden, though. This feels like... obsession. I want to know what he's doing right now. I want to see him right now."
"This is... I can't even," she grins widely, letting out a squeal. "You're going to fall in love with him!"
"Shush!" I groan. "Don't utter the 'L' word please."
"When are you going to see him again? Today, before school goes back?"
"I don't know! Quit with the questions!" I beg of her, shaking my head. "I haven't even checked whether he has messaged me or not."
"He will, for sure." She nods. "Let's go downtown?"
"Okay, let me change my shirt," I tell her.
I jog up the stairs and exchange my farm shirt for something nicer, leaving my high-waist, denim shorts on. I find a pair of nice flats to wear and I shrug a light jacket on, as the wind is a little cool still, even though we're almost at the hottest part of the day.
I finally check my phone to see I have 14 messages from Heidi, 3 from Kai and a distinct 0 from Haze. I let out a sigh, subconsciously having expected no response from him this early, if at all.
"So? Has he messaged you?" she asks the second I re-appear downstairs.
"No," I say glumly.
"Don't lose hope yet, he might not even be awake!"
"Who would be asleep this late?" I ask, looking down at the time, it reading 11:07 a.m.
"I feel like Haze would."
I shake my head and let her words convince me, calling for Charlie, to take him for a walk with us.
I'd like to say I don't want to get my hopes up, but they're already up and way over my head.
***
Haze's POV:
I throw another forceful punch into my punching bag, not feeling anywhere near satisfied.
"Shit," I curse, slumping forward, hanging off the bag wearily. Sweat leaks into my eyes and I rub at them, hoping that it will take the sting away.
Last night, I shouldn't have gone to that party. I knew I shouldn't have, but she was so damn persistent.
It's surprising how much fun I had. I haven't had 'fun' for a long time. Dancing with her, kissing her... I didn't expect any of it to feel as good as it did.
She is breaking through the wall I forced up on the first day of school. I don't want to get involved with someone who can so easily break me. She showed me that there's a chance with a girl like her. A chance for me, to have something worth fighting for. Something that means something to me. And that scares the hell out of me.
I don't have anyone in my life that I can count on. I can already tell, she is someone who I could depend on.
When I close my eyes, I see her. I see those round, green eyes, always so curious. Those pink-flushed cheeks. Her plump lips. That long, blonde hair that I want to run my hands through.
She's already under my skin, and we've hung out once.
I bury my face into the tattered punching bag in front of me, feeling defeated.
My plan – attend school, get my agreement signed, graduate and get the hell away from this town.
Why did she have to be the one to show me around? Would it have made a difference, anyway?
Someone like her couldn't possibly see a future with a messed up, ex-prisoner like me. She acts like she doesn't even care. Maybe she's too wrapped up in a fantasy that we somehow will work. If her parents are like most people in town, they will not want their daughter with someone like me. Everyone here is conservative, judgemental and unwelcoming. Considering my father's reputation and my recent prison visit, we don't exactly fit in with society.
We're in the bad part of town because we belong here.
That's what surprised me so much about Ellie. Her look is so stereotypical of what these people are like, but she's the opposite. Even her best friend thinks she's crazy getting involved with me – but she is damn strong-willed and I want to hate her for it, but it what makes me like her more.
I groan, fisting my mitted hand.
She's expecting me to text her, or call today. I want to. I hate to admit that I'm excited to hear her voice.
But I can't. I won't. This has already gone far enough. I'm not going to string her along, when it's not going to work between us anyway. It's much better to cut it off before real feelings develop.
I let my phone run out of battery.
With a growl-like sound tearing through me, I storm over to where my phone is, the charger sitting beside it. I angrily rip it from the wall and began yanking and pulling as hard as I can, breaking it.
There. No way for me to call her now.
Perfect.
I thought I would feel accomplished or relieved, but I don't. In fact, I'm even angrier than before.
I slide out my mitts and carelessly toss them to the ground, feeling frustrated.
Fucking Ellie. Why did she have to show interest in me? Why has she messed with my head, without having to even try?
"Boy," I hear his raspy voice bark. "Get me a beer."
I grit my teeth, ignoring my father's request.
I slam the door of the garage, leading into the house shut and nudge the volume of my heavy metal music.
My father. He is the problem. He has ruined everything good in my life.
It's only a matter of time before he will ruin whatever is happening between me and Ellie.
I refuse to let things go any further.
I can't.
***
Ellie's POV:
For about the thousandth time today, I check my phone.
No calls, no texts, nada.
I blow out my breath as Heidi and I walk back to my house.
"Still nothing?" she asks me.
"Nope," I reply sadly, jamming my phone into my back pocket with more aggression than needed.
"He looks the type to be a jerk," she says. "But I really did think he would."
"I wish I could stop thinking about him," I groan. "I should have just left him alone from the beginning and then none of this would have happened."
"Hey, it's not the end of the day yet. Just wait." She tells me, her tone hopeful.
I drag my feet with me, feeling glum. "It's official. I am obsessed."
"You have a crush," she says with a laugh. "What you're feeling, pretty much every girl has felt. Don't beat yourself up. Talk to him at school tomorrow." She has a troubled look on her face for a moment and I wonder if she's referring to herself. I haven't noticed anyone grabbing her attention around school, or maybe I haven't been paying attention.
"Oh, I will," I nod. "You can make sure of that."
"Or, you could stalk him again and go for a run down his street," she snorts.
"Shut up!" I say to her, before narrowing my eyes. "Actually, that's a good idea."
"I was kidding."
"I know you were," I say absently, my mind slowly ticking over.
"Oh gosh, what have I done?" she mutters.
We reach my house and I have a look of determination on my face.
"Ellie, don't." Heidi says, looking serious. "Let it go. Talk to him tomorrow."
I feel my mood deflate even more as I take in her words.
"You're right. I'll let it go."
"Promise?" she asks suspiciously.
"Promise. I'll distract myself with homework."
"Good girl. I'll text you later."
"Okay, see you," I bid her farewell.
I begin my short walk to the front door, sighing.
I expected more than I should have from Haze and I don't even know him.
It will be interesting to see him tomorrow.