There's a freedom in death that you'd like to have.
If you were gone, that would be it. No more running, no more hiding, no more fear. Your family would stop looking for you, and the Bangtan Boys wouldn't have to face your problems.
It would be so easy to slip out of the responsibilities of living in this world.
But, there are reasons you have to stay.
You can see it in your head, the way Jisoo cries when your body is found lifeless and pale. You can see the grief wracking her small body, the absolute despair staining the beauty of her face.
You can see countless bodyguards and tutors that have watched over you your entire life with their heads bowed in sorrow, knowing that it was their unwilling deceit that led to your demise.
And you can see your father.
He's not crying, not sad - only coldly disappointed in the fact that his perfectly-bred heir is gone.
Yeah.
That's one of the reasons you have to live.
You want to be alive, and defy him as long as you can. You want to take the mould he created for you to fit in and tear it into pieces, and become your own person. You want to live your life the way you want to, not how he wants you to.
You don't want to hurt people.
You never want to be found.
You just want to spend the entirety of your life barely out of that man's reach, a specter of failure hovering on the edge of his vision that ruins his perfectly constructed world.
So, you do want to die, but you also don't.
However, you'll choose death any day before returning to that gilded bird cage in your father's glistening home.
So, yes.
You say, "Kill me. Just do it now."
And you close your eyes and wait for the tattoo artist with the black hair and ebony diamond eyes, the one with milky skin and soft red lips, and a tattoo that connects to yours...you wait for him to send you out of this world.
And you wait.
And wait.
Finally, when there's been no light at the end of the tunnel for you to walk into for quite some time, you peel open one eye.
They're all just...sitting there.
"You know what?" Jungkook slides the clip from his gun, then slaps the empty weapon down by his side. "No. I'm not done with you."
"Was that supposed to be some kind of reverse psychology?" Taehyung whispers to Jin, eyeing you like you're crazy.
Broad shoulders shrugging, Jin turns to the youngest and continues to attend to his wound. They all act like nothing happened.
"Hey," you protest. "You were supposed to kill me! Go ahead! I'm waiting."
"No," Jungkook says absently with a wince. Jin wraps some medical wrap around his arm and shoulder, but there's still a blossom of red leaking trough the pristine white gauze.
"Please." You aren't too proud to beg at the prospect of being delivered back to that Hell with a pretty bow tied around your neck. Getting down on your knees, you do your best to hold yourself still against the van's movement and look into Jungkook's endless eyes. "Don't send me back. I'll do anything..."
You will.
Anything.
Slowly, one black eyebrow arches inquisitively.
"Oh, don't worry. You'll do plenty," Jungkook says easily. "Now sit down and shut up, and if you talk again I'll shoot you in the foot. Not fatal, just lots and lots of pain."
"No he won't," Jin sighs.
"I will too," replies Jungkook firmly.
Either way, you slither back to your seat and cross your arms, not speaking another word.
What is there to ask you about? What else is there to know?
Surely, if they've figured out who you are and where you're from, they also know that you've never had any involvement in the family business.
Surely.
The rest of the ride towards destination unknown is silent other than the occasional sigh of pain from Jungkook.
After Jin is finished with him, his arm and shoulder are encased in a percent layer of white gauze to hold back the blood. Jin returns to his seat beside you, a length of gauze still in his had.
"Y/N," Jin says. "Turn around. I have to blindfold you."
Hesitating, you're prompted into motion by Jungkook waving the unloaded gun threateningly at you. Not fatal, just lots of pain.
If he got a black eye just from giving you a tattoo, he best believe that you'll sucker punch that knife wound if he tries to shoot your foot.
You turn around anyways, letting Jin tie the length or wrap over your eyes. There's a hazy light that seeps still through the material, but you can't make out anything other than vague dark shapes.
Being blinded sharpens your senses a little. You can make out the distinct sound of someone muttering under their breath, probably Hoseok as he's driving, and you can feel the movement of Jin's peaceful breaths in the air.
You smell sweat and blood and smoke, and you can hear someone's finger tapping rhythmically against one of the seats.
These are the things you focus on for the rest of the way. The slight smell of peppermint on Jin's breath. The labored huffs of Jungkook. The soft sliding of Hoseok's hands on the van's steering wheel.
It passes the time, and soon the van is rolling to a stop. You feel Jin move from beside you, and hear the door slide open.
"Okay, everyone out."
Someone takes your hand and pulls you up, leading you in stumbling steps out of the van and into the outside.
It's quiet here; quiet enough that you're not sure you're in the city anymore. Crickets are chirping softly in the night. The air smells a little fresher, too.
Back again, the hand wraps around your wrist and pulls you forward. You follow its direction blindly, every step a cautious movement in case of obstacles.
A door opens, and the chill of the evening is driven back by warmth as you're led inside. The floor is thick and plush under your shoes; carpeted and expensive. When you get inside, the hand pushes back at you ever so slightly, signaling you to stop.
"Where do you want her, hyung?" It's Taehyung's large hand wrapped around your wrist, and his deep voice rasping somewhere above you head.
Jin answers him in a soft, sweet tone. "Take her to one of the guest rooms, and the-"
"No." That butter-smooth voice is Jungkook's, cutting off the elder man. "She's not our guest. She goes to the white room."
A long-suffering sigh vibrates through the air. "Jungkook..."
"Don't put her in the white room," Hoseok whines. His voice is somewhere in front of you, disappearing into the muffling plush carpet. "She hasn't done anything, Kook."
"Not yet." Taehyung's hand is ripped away from you and replaced by a slightly smaller hand, a hand that sends zings of lighting through you with a simple touch.
"Come with me," Jungkook mutters. He literally drags you along, not taking your handicapped state into consideration as he moves quickly into the building.
"Hey!" you yelp, straining against his tight hold. "Could you slow down?"
His only response is to pause a moment and let you go. Then your legs are swept out from under you and you're lifted up into his arms, bridal-style.
Isn't he wounded or something?
"Kook, are you serious?" Hoseok again, but this time a hint of concern tinges his voice. "Give her to me. You'll hurt yourself even more."
"No!" Jungkook's torso twists swiftly away from something, his arms holding you to him like a child protecting his toy. As he moves, a slight hiss of pain slips from between his teeth. "I'm the only one who sees her for what she really is," Jungkook spouts at the cheerful man. "You guys would have her in a nice, clean room with all the accommodations. She's hurting us, hyung. I'm not rewarding her for that."
You scoff a little in his arms, wiggling in frustration. "Hurt you how?" you mumble almost silently. "And I'm not a dog. No one's rewarding me."
"Shut up." Jungkook starts down what you assume is a flight of stairs, balancing you easily despite his injured state.
At the end of the stairs is more walking, then another door opening. Inside the new room, you're dropped suddenly, thudding down hard onto a hard surface.
"Ouch," you grumble, seconds before the makeshift blindfold is torn from your face.
You blink in the brightness of your new surroundings, observing with dread what almost looks like an interrogation room. There's a single white table, and two white chairs on either side of it, one of which you're seated in. Other than that, the room is completely bare.
Everything is white.
The walls, ceiling, floor, even the door is white. After being in the dark for so long, it's almost blinding to look at.
So you turn your gaze to the only dark spot in the room; a man with eyes like two black holes, sucking you into the vortex.
Jungkook's still shirtless and wrapped up on one shoulder like a mummy, but that doesn't make him any less intimidating.
His hands slam done onto the table in front of you, moving the entire thing beneath the force of his weight.
"So tell me, Y/N," he says lowly, with a spark of danger. "What did they send you to find?"
What?
"No one sent me to do anything," you tell him bluntly.
A harsh laugh escapes his pretty pierced lips, and he does that frustratingly attractive move where he lifts one eyebrow high in a condescending manner.
"Don't lie to me, Y/N. I know your father sent you here. Now tell me why."
"My father didn't sent me," you repeat honestly. "Nobody did. I came on my own."
Jungkook's teeth grit, and his big doe eyes narrow into nothing. A wicked light behind to sparkle in the depths of them. "Fine," he says, levering himself up so he's standing fully. "You don't want to talk? It's your choice."
"I am talking!" You watch in dismay as he paces towards the door, yanking it open. "Where are you going?!"
When he turns back to you and flashes you a nasty grin, your gut drops to the floor.
"Get ready princess," Jungkook purrs in a mockingly-gentle voice. "Your punishment is on its way. If you don't want to talk, I'll make you."
[A/N]
Very unedited
But...double update yay😬
HONEY BUNNY WAS ON THAT BILLBOARD VIDEO
I love Jungkook
And I'm so tired
Goodnight guys