Deja:
The whole school was quiet.
Everyone heard about Lucas' death.
But not everyone knew how he died.
The Whispers. The stares. The endless question about how he died.
"He was so innocent," a girl said as Jayden and I walked past. "He didn't deserve to die." She was talking to a group of friends who were all studying an article about Lucas.
No one knew the truth.
No one knew what he did or why he died.
Peyton was at her locker looking absolutely devastated. Her eyes were puffy and her fingers were trembling. Jack told me her parents kicked her out and that she was staying with Erika Costell. Bridget walked up to her. Her eyes also puffy and red. They hugged each other.
I tried to understand why they were both crying so badly. Peyton got kicked out and Bridget's boyfriend just died.
Jayden grabbed my hand leading me along.
"He's going to hell for what he did to you," Jayden said as I opened the locker.
"Jayden, the poor boy is dead. There's nothing you can do anymore. You don't have to be mad anymore."
"I don't like him touching you."
"Forgiveness, Jayden." He rolled his eyes.
A few police officers were looking through Lucas' locker which was down the hall. Kids crowded around to see what was going on. Jayden and I walked past so we could get to his locker.
One of the officers stepped aside and something caught my eye. A letter and taped to it was a pregnancy test. I looked at Peyton who was watching with puffy eyes. The police officers started to put it in a ziplock bag when Peyton spoke up:
"Can I keep that?" She asked. Everyone stared at her.
"I'm sorry, ma'am, but we have to take this in so we know exactly what happened," one of the officers said. She just nodded and walked off holding her stomach.
I shook my head and pushed aside the thoughts of Lucas being the father of Peyton's baby.
Jayden and I continued to walk along, but I couldn't keep my eyes off of the locker. The pulled out receipts and old papers and pictures. Part of me actually felt bad that he died.
Jayden grabbed his stuff out of his locker. My eyes were glued to the scene that many of the students were surrounding. Jayden grabbed my hands causing me to look at him.
"I know you feel bad, it's normal. But you need to focus on today. Whatever happened after you and Zach left, happened. And it wasn't your fault," he said softly. I hugged him.
"I just feel like I'm the reason he died..."
"No, you're not. You were only a victim of his little game. He hurt you, not the other way around."
I nodded. Jayden held my face in his hands. I just continued to hug him. I didn't want to leave his body, but the bell rang. I walked to my first period. Chloe was already sitting in the classroom socializing with some of the other girls.
I sighed and sat down.
...
I walked out of 3rd period to find Jayden standing there like usual.
We walked to my locker. I put my stuff away not saying a word to Jayden. He was talking about college and apartments and football, but my mind was stuck on Lucas.
"Deja, are you listening to me?" He asked.
"No." I didn't want to lie to him. He sighed as we walked past Lucas' locker.
"Thank you for being honest, I guess... Anyways, I was talking about the pregnancy test-"
"What?"
"The pregnancy test in Lucas' locker. Do you know who the mom of his child is?" He asked.
"I'm not sure if he was telling the truth but-"
"So you know," he said. I nodded.
I felt bad that he had to die before his child knew he was the father. I also felt bad because it'd be a lot harder to tell Zach and convince him that Peyton's baby isn't his.
"But I first need to work things out and figure this whole mess out. It's still kind of confusing," I said. He nodded.
We walked into the lunch room. We separated to sit with our friends, but instead of walking to Kyle first, I took a turn and walked into territory that I would never have imagined walking into. The Narcissistic Popular's. Also know as, where Bridget and her minions along with Lucas' old squad who were all in an apparent mourning of their group leader. Bridget was still sniffling since she found out last night. Peyton was sitting across the table from her.
"Bridget?" She looked up and saw me. "I need to talk to you."
"What do you want?" She asked throwing attitude and sass like she always does when she sees me. "I don't socialize with people like you."
A few of the girls laughed.
"It's important," I said. She rolled her eyes and got up. We walked over and stood next to the stairs leading downstairs.
"What did you want?"
"Are you pregnant?" I asked.
"No, what?!"
"Lucas said he has a kid," I said. Her face went pale.
"You talked to Lucas?"
"Yeah, I talked to him last night before he died."
"What did he tell you?"
"He told me that the kid in Peyton's stomach is his, but that's Zach's kid..." I noticed she wasn't making eye contact. "The baby is Lucas'..."
She nodded. "You can't tell anyone though."
"It's not fair to Zach! Zach thinks that's his baby. Do you know how that can negatively affect his career?" I asked.
"Lucas walked off on Peyton and the baby."
"That doesn't mean she should lie to Zach and tell him it's his!"
"Are you going to tell him?" She said.
"Well, duh. He's my friend and he deserves to know the whole truth. And if he still loves her after that, he'll still raise the baby," I said.
"You didn't hear it from me though," she said slowly walked away with her hands up.
"I won't mention your name, I promise."
I walked to Kyle's table. He shared his lunch with me like always and we talked about prom. I looked over and saw Jayden laughing with his friends. He turned and smiled at me from across the room. He still hadn't asked me and it was starting to eat at me like crazy.
...
"Zach?" I said into the phone.
"Yeah?" I smiled.
"I need your help." I knew he wouldn't be able to say no if I asked for help. He was just too loving and caring for everyone.
"I'm on my way to the Team 10 house, but what is it?" He asked.
"I fell off my roof again and I hurt my wrist. And I need to grab something, but my wrist hurts so bad. And Bridget won't help me and there's no one else who can come over and help me right now," I lied. I used my foot to look through my drawers for something to wrap my wrist with.
"Why don't you just used your other hand to grab it?"
"I would, but the more I try and reach for the top shelf of my closet, the more my wrist hurts."
"Okay, I'll be there in like 10 minutes," he said.
"Okay, see you then!" I said with a smile. I hung up and looked through Jayden's duffle bag for football that he left when he moved out.
I found cloth athletic tape and wrapped my wrist nicely so that it looked like I hurt it. I lied down in bed until I heard the doorbell ring.
I ran downstairs and opened the door. Zach stood there.
"Hi!" I smiled.
"You need to stop climbing your roof," he said. "Why were you even up there?" He asked examining my wrist.
"Ow!" I faked.
"Sorry."
"Some kids got their Frisby stuck on my roof, so being a good person, I went up there and got it for them, but when they left, I slipped and fell again." He nodded.
"So, what did you need help with?" He asked.
"Follow me."
We walked upstairs.
"I just need you to get that box," I said pointing at one of my Vans shoe boxes. He nodded and grabbed it.
"Here," he said handing it to me.
"Thank you!" I grabbed it from him and set it down. We stood there awkwardly.
"So..."
"So..."
We both laughed.
"I should get going," he said.
"Before you go," I started. I took deep breaths. "I'm not expecting you to believe me, but I really think you should..."
"What are you talking about?"
"The baby, Peyton's baby. Is not yours. The baby is Lucas' baby. He told me the night he raped me-"
"He was drunk. You can't trust anything he said."
"Yeah, but one of Peyton's friends also told me."
"Who?"
"I'm not allowed to say. I promised that I wouldn't."
"Promises? I can't use that as a reliable source."
"At least I keep my promises," I said rolling my eyes.
"Are we really going to argue about this right now?" He asked.
"No, but I think you should know that you're not the father of the baby. You're a virgin, Zach. It's impossible."
"Who said I was a virgin?" He asked. My heart stopped for a second. He looked away.
"Are you serious?"
"Yes, I am. The baby is mine."
"It's not yours!"
"Yes, it is!" He yelled.
"No, it's not! Peyton is lying to you!"
"Lucas is lying to you!" He got closer to me.
"No, he didn't. The baby is not yours!" I scoot back a bit. My back met the wall.
"And why should I believe you?" He asked. His face was inches away from mine. I felt fear, the same fear I felt as I was pressed against a brick wall by Lucas.
"Because every time something happens like this, we always find out that I'm right..." He looked me in the eyes.
"The baby is mine," he said.
"No, the baby's not yours," I said. The more we argued, the closer his face got. I felt like a little ant squished against that wall. I hadn't been this close to him in a while.
"Yes, it is-" I cut him off and pressed my lips against his. Taking both of us by surprise. I didn't know what it was that made me kiss him, but I had zero control over it.
His arm snaked around my waist and pulled me closer to him. Both of my hands were on his cheeks.
I pulled away when my phone started ringing. We stared at each other for a second.
"I'm sorry," we both said awkwardly.
"I should go," he said. "I have a girlfriend and a child waiting for me."
He grabbed his stuff and ran out of my room.
I sat down on my bed wondering what just happened. I grabbed my phone and saw that Jayden was calling. I have a boyfriend. Who I love so very much. I answered it.
"Baby!" He said. I smiled.
"Yes?"
"I wanna cuddle."
"Hashbrown would love to cuddle with you!"
"That's not what I meant," he said. "Come over."
"With what car?" I asked.
"Right. I'll be there in 10."
"I'll see you then," I said. I hung up the phone.
I thought about the kiss. It was weird. For the first time ever, of all of the kisses Zach and I shared, I made the first move.
...
I sat with Jayden in the living room. We ate Doritos as Jayden surfed through the channels.
"Beverly Hill Teen found dead after-" Jayden changed the channel.
"Wait, go back!" I yelled. Jayden switched back.
"Lucas Posey was a senior at Beverly Hills High School. He was found dead in a dark alleyway last night. His parents claim that he ran away from home after coming home one night. The teen had overdosed on binge drinking alcohol and illegal drugs were also found in the bags he packed which were later found in front of a Nightclub. Along with the drugs and bags was a letter written to who we're guessing was his girlfriend-"
"He wrote a letter to Bridget?" Jayden asked looking down at me.
"I don't know."
"It wasn't for me," Bridget said walking down the stairs and joining us in the living room. She tossed a paper on the coffee table. "That's a copy. Peyton snuck the original back into his bag before the cops found it."
"What?"
"The night Lucas died, Peyton was there. She asked Erika to stop the car in front of the Nightclub because she saw his bags. She didn't run into him though. He was probably dead by that time. She took it home, made a copy and had Erika bring it back so she could sneak it back into his bag. Then she gave me the copy because she didn't want Zach to find it."
"Why didn't she just read it and put it back?" Jayden asked.
"Because she didn't want him to come back and find her reading it, but little did she know he was already dead. So, she made a copy so she could come back home and read it. She didn't read it until her second trip back home."
"What does it say?" I asked.
"Read it," she said shrugging and taking the remote from Jayden.
I grabbed it off the table and read it.
"Dear Peyton Jane Deegan, I'm truly sorry for doing what I did to you. I never meant to run out on you and our child like that. I was scared, I didn't know what to do. And if my dad found out, well you already know my dad, so you could only imagine what would've happened. You and our baby deserve so much better than me. I knew from the moment you told me you were pregnant at that small table in Starbucks that I would never be able to support a family. You may not want to hear it from me and you probably don't want me in your life or the baby's life, but I think it's best to tell Zach the truth. He deserves the truth and the whole truth. I wish I could've loved you a lot better. I'm not a great dad. I'm not a great person in general and I do stupid stuff all the time, but this was probably the stupidest thing I've ever done. And I'm sorry to you and to our child. I hope that one day you'll forgive me..."
~Lucas Posey
Zach:
I drove away from Deja's house and parked a few blocks away. I banged my head on the steering wheel. Deja was driving me absolutely crazy, but I had a girlfriend and a child. I didn't have time to think about Deja or go back to her.
But the same thought kept ringing in my mind and I wondered if what Deja said was true. If she was right about Peyton's baby being Lucas' baby and not mine.
But Lucas was dead. How were we ever supposed to figure out if the baby was really mine?
Peyton called my phone twice, but I ignored it. I wanted to think everything through first.
Peyton, the girl that I learned to love with this child that belongs to me and Deja, the girl I've loved for a year now and for some reason, my heart won't move on from is telling me otherwise.
I felt like was trapped in some escape room called life. Except in this escape room called Life, there is no escape.