FIVE: Cast Off
Astrid pushed the door to her home open, seeing her parents inside. It was a miserable, cold day with rain beginning so her mother was spinning wool while her father was whittling a new handle for a knife. She grinned at them and there was a pause-before both gasped in shock on seeing their daughter.
"Astrid!" Ilsa gasped and lurched to her feet, running to embrace her daughter with the tall, solid shape of her father a couple of paces behind, wrapping both in his powerful arms. After a long moment, they pulled back and her father inspected her, a small smile visible amid his luxuriant blonde beard.
"My daughter-are you well?" he asked her in a concerned voice and she nodded, a small smile lifting her lips.
"More than well," she reassured him, looking into his face. "Hiccup's come back as well. He's talking to the Chief now." She gave a wider smile. "He's asking his father to sort out the contracts, Dad. He's asked me to marry him."
Ingvar stared at her in shock and then lowered his eyes. She frowned, her blonde brow furrowing.
"Dad? What's wrong?" she asked, unnerved by his silence. "You always said how much you liked Hiccup, what a great warrior and leader her was becoming...surely you don't object to me marrying him?" Her father glanced over to his wife and to Astrid's horror, there were tears trickling down her cheeks. "Mom? What's wrong? Will someone just please tell me?" Her voice had risen and she was almost shouting, her anxiety now pounding in her chest. Ingvar stared into her eyes, his joy departed.
"Hiccup can't marry you, Astrid," he said heavily. "He's already betrothed."
She stared at him in utter shock.
"What?' she yelled. Her mother nodded, another sob shuddering through her. "Why that lying, treacherous, slimy, back-stabbing..."
"He doesn't know!" Ilsa blurted out, her eyes shining with tears. "He didn't know. He must now...but he didn't before..." Astrid stared at her.
"What? How can you know that...?" she asked and Ingvar sighed.
"My daughter-I know how much that boy means to you," he admitted, sitting down and staring mournfully at the fire. "Every time you would come back, it would be 'Hiccup this' and 'Hiccup that'! You would sometimes think there was only the two of you out there on the Edge. And any fool can tell the boy is crazy about you-his puppy eyes follow you whenever you two are back on Berk! So we both knew he was in love with you-and he's a decent lad. He would never lead you on if he knew he was promised to another." He sighed again. "And then after you last went back, I approached Stoick...to sound out if he was averse to making a contract. I had to do it discreetly...people talk, you know? Especially since we aren't the most well off and some families would think we were aiming above our position. So I went to see him on a pretext about some lumber rights...and I found him looking at a letter..."
"A letter?" Astrid asked, her fists balled.
"He was reading it with a look of guilt on his face," Ingvar explained. "It was a letter from the person he betrothed Hiccup to years ago when he was much younger. It seemed he had forgotten that he had betrothed Hiccup to the daughter of another Tribe. He was shaking his head and seemed horrified." He looked up. "And I knew then...that there was no way Hiccup could marry you. The Chief would never ratify a contract with me for your hand, daughter, because he had made an agreement, a Treaty with an allied tribe and breaking that would put us all in danger."
Astrid stared.
"So that's it?' she said, her voice suddenly toneless. "It's over? I'm expected to give up the man I love, the man who completely owns my heart?" She dropped her hand to rest briefly on her lower abdomen. "The father of my child?"
Her parents stared at her and then her father rose slowly.
"What?' he roared. Astrid glared at him.
"It wasn't planned but I don't regret it," she flared at him. "Hiccup and I are in love and have been for...years. We knew we were going to spend our lives together. So when it happened...it was what it was. Once. And this child...is ours."
"You stupid girl!" her father shouted at her, causing her to startle. "Have you any idea what you've done?" Her brows dipped.
"Oh yes," she said bitterly. "I knew what I did. But I only just found out that nothing is as it is supposed to be. My boyfriend is betrothed-except no one saw fit to tell him. I have given myself to the man I love-and suddenly that is a huge problem. And the best I can hope is watch the person who I love with all my heart married to someone else as I carry his child..."
"His bastard," Ingvar snapped. Her eyes widened. "They will never acknowledge it. It will be fatherless and shamed-as will you. If you are lucky, some trader or man from another island will take you...but not the brat. Maybe we can use the fact you've already had a child to at least prove you're fertile..." She backed up a pace.
"What? No-you are not matching me with some stranger!" she told him angrily. "I am a Hofferson and I will not be sold off like a prize yak!"
"That's exactly what you are!" Ingvar shouted at her. "You lost your choices when you gave yourself away to a man who is already Betrothed! So we will either be stuck supporting you or we have to find someone to take you. And as all our neighbours will soon know what happened, it will have to be on another island!" She glared at him for one more moment-and then she turned to the door. "Where are you going?" he demanded, grabbing at her-but she dodged and flung the door open.
"Away!" she snapped back. "I came home to see my family, to share my news-and not only do you give me the worst news, you treat me like a pariah when I am in the worst place I have ever been." She turned to the door. "I'm going flying with Stormfly,"
"You will stay here!" her father shouted but she walked through the door.
"Why?" she asked softly. "You don't want me, Hiccup can't have me, I'm about to be shamed in front of the village-why should I remain here? Stormfly is the only one who wants me any more." And then she slammed the door and ran down the Plaza, blinking hard to ensure the tears that burned her eyes weren't escaping. For a second, she glanced over her shoulder at the brooding shape of the Chief's House and wondered how Hiccup was feeling. Because in her heart, she knew there was no chance that he could feel any worse than she did.
oOo
Heart aching with utter misery, Hiccup raced from his home, not able to talk to his father any further and whistling for Toothless-and though they had just flown back from the Edge, the Night Fury gave a roar and galloped up the Plaza, meeting the sprinting Hiccup. In a moment, the one-legged Viking had flung his leg over the dragon's back and in a flap, they had shot into the sky, even as his father ran from the house with an echoing cry of: "HICCUP!"
As they soared up, Hiccup could barely see because tears were blinding him. There was a pain like a knife in his chest and he could barely breath through the lump in his throat, trusting the dragon to steer them up and away from the village, high into the cold sky, through the rain and the clouds until he was soaked and shivering...but still utterly devastated. Shakily, he tried to swipe the tears from his face but there were plenty to replace them as he felt his breaths continue to hitch. He had never felt so wretched or devoid of hope in his life-because there was nothing he could do. The contract was legally binding, a shackle he could not break and what his father had said was true: he was promised to an ally. Insulting one of the few Tribes who still helped the Hooligans, who still traded with them would make life even harder for all of them...and that wasn't something Hiccup could do.
But the alternative was worse, making him feel utterly ashamed. He has asked Astrid to be his wife in all honesty, never knowing of the one massive and insuperable impediment to the union he had dreamed of for all his life. She had said yes and he, who had promised to stand by her, to always be with her and their child, would be forced to reject her and their child, to never acknowledge the life they made together and the woman who held his heart. Even the knowledge she would still be on Berk was no consolation, for he was forbidden to be with her, until after the wedding. His father had been adamant that there was to be no way Hiccup could screw this up any more. Astrid would have to suffer from their mistake...from his mistake...and see him married to someone he hadn't seen for about seven years and who he didn't love. Not that it mattered to anyone: he was sold like a prize yak to someone for whatever minuscule help Stoick imagined the all-female Tribe could offer to the dragon-riding Tribe.
They swooped down and Toothless, fed up at the rain, arrowed down to the Cove, folding his wings and diving until they swooped into the familiar space-to see an equally familiar and soaked shape, sitting disconsolate on a rock. Hiccup stared at her, seeing the defeated slump of her shoulders and the hang of her head. Quietly, he swiped the soaked hair off his face and walked towards her-but Stormfly growled and he froze, his eyes widening. He swallowed and stared at her.
"Astrid?" he asked her, his voice hoarse. Her desolate eyes swung up to inspect him and her eyes were red-rimmed with tears. She looked away. He swallowed. "Please...I didn't know..."
"I know," she said in a dead voice. "But it doesn't matter any more." He tried to come closer but the Nadder hissed and raised her spines, the snikt loud in the sudden silence between them. Toothless growled a warning sound and Stormfly replied.
"Bud-it's okay," he said quietly. "If she kills me, at least I don't have to do this arranged marriage. At least I can die not separated from the woman I love." Astrid's gaze flicked up, seeing him press his hands to his face and then run then through his sodden hair. "It's so messed up-and I honestly can't see a way out of this mess any more. There is no way it works. But I would prefer being exiled and having you than going through with this."
"You can't,' she said dully. "The rest of the Tribe will suffer-just like they did when we-when you-lost Berk's gold in your desire to make Viggo pay for Dagur's death."
"Except he wasn't dead," Hiccup said thickly. "But Berk suffered when we lost our gold and when Viggo blockaded the trade routes with the Submaripper."
"Which you almost gave your life to free," she reminded him, seeing him standing in the rain. Then he realised; she was seated under a rocky outcrop and was shielded from the pouring rain. "Hiccup it's not your fault..." He shook his head.
"No-I befriended the dragon which made many of our allies change their Treaties so they view us with suspicion," he told her grimly. "And that is my fault, for sure. And Dad is right-it's my duty. But I don't want this duty. I have already given too much for this island-I can't lose you as well." She beckoned him closer and the Nadder finally lowered her spines as Astrid's cold hand found his, holding him tight as he dropped to his knees. "I have failed you, Astrid. I can't even manage to propose properly. The only dream I ever had was to spend the rest of my life with you-and Dad has taken that away. And-and the baby..."
"My Dad explained," she said bitterly. "Can't have a bastard wandering around Berk challenging the Chief's legitimate Heirs." He groaned and covered his face.
"I don't care," he said helplessly. "Because it is our child. I promised I would be there for you, Astrid, and I..."
"Cannot," she told him sharply. "You can't be there for me any more than you can marry me. You have to be wth your wife. You have to make love to her and make babies. You have to sit by her at official functions and walk with her into meetings. And I...I can't do that, Hiccup. I can't watch the man I love doing that and knowing I have no hope. I can't walk around Berk every day with your child inside me, listening to the whispers about me and how I failed in my plot to snare you and now I am left pregnant and shamed with a child out of wedlock and no dowry. My father is already plotting to marry me off to whoever will take me on another island...because I cannot stay on Berk. I am an embarrassment." She gave a bitter laugh. "So I lose my home and family as well as my fiancé. So you need to get on with your marriage, Hiccup so at least you can protect them because I won't be able to. And I won't be traded like a spoiled heifer. I'm leaving Berk."
His head snapped up and his eyes widened.
"Oh no, Astrid-please!" he begged. "I-I can't do this without you..."
"Shame-because you're going to have to," she told him bluntly. "Can't see your new wife wanting you talking to your former girlfriend-the person you actually wanted to marry rather than her..."
"Camicazi's not like that!" he blurted out and there was a sudden silence.
"You know her?" she hissed. He suddenly drew back, shocked at the venom in her voice. He nodded.
"Um...she's the Bog Burglar Heir," he explained, almost gabbling in his anxiety. "We used to meet at the Chief meetings-before Dad gave up on taking me to them. I haven't seen her since I was twelve. She was okay-better than the others and actually some fun to be with...when she wasn't landing me in trouble for things she had stolen..."
"Well, it looks like I shouldn't have worried," Astrid spat at him. "You're going to be fine! Turns out your betrothed is an old friend so no problem there! You're going to be just fine..." He grabbed her hand and stared up desperately into her enraged eyes.
"Astrid...I knew nothing about this," he begged her and looked into her face. "Please...if you go, I will follow you. I promised to be with you and support you and our baby and I can't do that if you've left Berk." He swallowed. "Please, Astrid-I can't do this without you. If...if I have to face this, I can't without my best friend." She stared at him and then, very gently, drew him close to her, hugging him to her body, his head resting against her chest and arms wrapped around her body. Quietly, she leaned forward and kissed the top of his head.
"My dragon boy," she murmured. "It wouldn't be a Hiccup plan without some horrible flaw..."
"Hey! Not even Viggo could see this one coming," he protested against her chest and she smiled.
"Mumbling, babe," she told him and he nodded.
"See? I need you," he managed gruffly. "Please stay..." He lifted his head and pleading emerald eyes met hers. She sighed.
"I'll try," she said, "but I can't watch you with someone else, Hiccup. I just can't. I may be a warrior, but even my heart will break." He nodded.
"Let's get into the cave and light a fire," he sighed. "I can't have you catching a chill. We'll work it out, Astrid. I promise. Somehow, no matter what it cost, I will fix it. I promise."
"Not scoring so well on that count, babe," she reminded him and he winced.
"I will prove it," he promised. "Somehow, I will fix this."
oOo
Night had fallen and Astrid had gone home, to find her parents ignoring her. Not that she was expecting anything less, but it just compounded her misery-and solidified her resolve. Back in her room, she scouted around and took everything that could be of value-warm clothes, any valuables, her weapons and her blankets and pillow. It was a depressingly small stash as she listened for her parents to go to bed and the house to fall silent.
When she was sure they were asleep, she prised open her roof window and clambered out, with her little bundle of possessions carefully carried with her. She closed the window, shimmied down the corner of the house and then made her way to the old Academy, where Stormfly was stabled. Quietly, she filled canteens with water and grabbed a generous helping of salted and dried fish and yak jerky from the stores. Finally, she wrapped herself in her cloak and walked to the pen, letting her dragon out. Giving a tired croak, the Nadder lifted her head. Astrid crouched down and rubbed her nose, her hand lingering on the horn.
"Sorry, girl," she whispered. "But I can't stay here. Thor, this is some sort of a nightmare-must be my punishment for sleeping with my boyfriend before we were even betrothed...not that we were ever going to be able to take that step..." she added bitterly.
The Nadder chirped.
"Yes, I know I promised Hiccup and I know you will miss Toothless...but it is going to kill me to see him every day, knowing he belongs to someone else. I won't cope with that-or the whispers and sneers. And I won't have my child endure it either. We have to go-and you are literally the only person I have to rely on." Stormfly gave a little caw, then got the her feet and allowed Astrid to saddle her. Carefully, the girl stowed her blankets, stores, possessions and usual saddle-bags and then she sighed, swinging into the saddle and casting a final look at the village as they rose into the clear night sky, the stars coldly brilliant against the blackness.
"Goodbye, my love," she murmured as she leaned and Stormfly arrowed into the night, away from Berk and the heartbreak it held.