Driving was peaceful for a while, but when you are trying to play your music on your phone and you have so many different people calling you, it wasn't. I got to the point where I yanked my phone off the aux cord and threw my phone on the floor of the jeep and decided to play my radio instead. My tears were dried up on my cheeks and my eyes were still so very red.
I never thought Anthony would ever do this to me.
No matter what I was thinking before, I did love the Anthony Padilla of Smosh. I didn't love him for what his job was, but I loved him for who he was. A guy who was okay with being himself and a guy who loved me for who I was. He didn't have to keep talking to me that day we bumped into each other at that Comic Con, but he said he saw my pictures on Instagram and Twitter, then talked me into doing a YouTube channel.
He saw more in me than I saw in myself, and that's why I fell in love with him.
When Anthony and I had first started talking about dating, he told me there was another girl in his life. They weren't anything serious, but when Kalel and Anthony ended, he got closer with Miel because she was there for him. He even admitted about how they were gonna try to be a thing, but when he tried to work stuff out with Kalel, Kalel rejected and Anthony almost lost his chance with Miel.
And then he met me.
He said it was the way I looked at him. Looking past his past with starting up Smosh, ex girlfriends, and all the negatives. I looked at him for him and he knew I did. When a week past by, we went on our first date and he asked me to officially be his girlfriend. I was skeptical at first because of Miel, but Anthony admitted how he didn't think it was going to work out and he wanted to be with me instead.
It made me feel good about myself to be a first choice...
When I was in high school, guys chose me because of my looks. They never wanted to be with me because of my personality; no, they wanted me for my looks. But when I thought back to those times, none of those guys mattered to me because I was young. I knew love didn't mean anything at that age.
Then Anthony came into my life and I had my first real true love.
Tears started filling up in my eyes again, but I held them back. I had to be strong when I drove to see my father at work. He didn't need to see his little girl crying about a boy. When my dad first met Anthony, he worried about Anthony's future with Smosh. My dad thought I made good money for being a producer, but it was the thought of Anthony making videos for the rest of his life was something he couldn't understand.
Trust me, I've had the thought too, but fans love Anthony and Anthony loves the fans.
I pulled up at my dads work and parked the jeep. I was hesitant to walk in because of how nice this building is and how much of a mess I looked after today. But I unbuckled my seatbelt and reached down at the floor to grab my phone. My heart started racing when I went to check what my missed calls and messages were.
Boze: 30 iMessages
Tristan: 24 iMessages
7 Missed Calls from Tristan
18 Missed Calls from Boze
75 Missed Calls from Anthony
And almost over 100 messages from Anthony. I didn't even unlock my phone to check what the messages were. I know Anthony reached out to Tristan and I knew Tristan reached out to Boze about me. Who knows who Boze will reach out too when I still don't respond to her.
But I looked at the time and my mouth dropped. I was driving for a very long time and realized I killed my gas while doing it. I hadn't eaten anything, I was parked for a long time when I was having breakdowns, and I just kept driving until I had a destination to go. It was almost four and I wanted it to be later so when I go back to Tristan's, he would already be asleep and not ask me where I was.
I took one deep breath and exhaled as I got out of my jeep. I slipped my phone into my back pocket and shut the door behind me. I didn't even make sure I looked decent; I knew dad would see through me even if I tried. It's been a long time since I've been to my dads work and a lot of his coworkers judge him for having light skinned daughters. They always stared at me and always whispered about me.
It was just weird to deal with.
They knew my dad adopted us, but they just didn't understand why they didn't adopt white girls instead, but like both of my parents said, that didn't matter to them. All that mattered was that they wanted to daughters to love and care for, and they did. I walked over to the elevator and clicked the top button in there. My dad was all the way at the top of the building and since I hated being in an elevator, I was glad I was the only one in here.
I don't do well with closed spaces.
My phone started going off again and I pulled it out of my back pocket. It was Boze and I finally decided to respond. "I don't know who you're around right now, but Boze I swear to god if you let anyone know..."
"Let anyone know what?" she asked me. "Dawg, everyone is worried about you. You're not answering anyone's calls, you aren't responding to anyone's texts, and Anthony is holding back a mental breakdown. What is going on, V?"
"Ask him," I replied.
"I'm asking you, my best friend, what is going on and why you are missing" Boze stated.
"Matt said I could have the day off today," I told her.
"But there's gotta be..."
"Look, I gotta go, Boze. I'm fine and if you need to tell them that, then fine, but the calls and texts need to stop."
"Veronica..."
I hung up the phone and put it in my back pocket again. It kept going off with text messages, but I didn't bother looking at my phone again. I was surprised to even see Anthony was able to text me since I threw his phone hard at the wall. I felt bad, but he shouldn't have went behind my back. Four days of keeping the Shayne thing a secret, but he kept Miel a secret for almost a month.
Maybe at the end of day, we both weren't meant for each other and we shouldn't be together anymore if we both were hurting each other.
I walked out of the elevator and saw the same woman at the greeting desk. Did she really expect to do this for the rest of her life? "Ah, Miss Cruz. Are you here to see your father?" she asked me.
I walked up to the desk and put my arms on it. "Why else would I be here?" I asked. Her smiling face went away and it went a bit awkward. I sighed and put my hand on my face. "I'm sorry. I've had a crappy day and I didn't mean to get smart with you. Yes, I'm here to see my father. Is he busy?"
Her smile lightened up a bit and she nodded. "He should be in his office," she said. I nodded to her and started walking towards his office. I could already see people dad works with staring at me and walking away or just whispering to one another. It absolutely makes no sense why they do it, but I didn't care at this point. I needed to talk to my dad and that's why I was here.
I knocked on dad's door and opened it to see his assistant and him talking. His assistant was standing while my dad was in his chair handing him papers. "Whoa," his assistant said towards me. I rolled my eyes and looked at dad.
"Veronica, hey," he said to me. His assistant kept grinning at me up and down, and I just had pure disgust on my face. "Trevor, can you go take these papers to Patricia? I need her to send this too..."
"Yeah, already got you, boss," he said. He took the papers and winked towards me when he started walking up to the door. "Damn babe..."
"Beat it," I said with a mischievous smile. He put his hands up, but kept a smirk on his face as he walked out of the office. I rolled my eyes and looked at dad. "I'm sorry I didn't give you any notice about coming."
"Have you been crying?" Dad asked me. He finally got the chance to look at me up and down and knew I wasn't acting myself. "What's going on, V?"
I started tearing up again and my mouth slightly dropped. "Have you ever cheated on somebody before?" was all I could ask him.
"Veronica..."
"I'm not asking if you cheated on mom. I'm asking if you ever have cheated before. That's all I'm asking for, dad, before I even think about opening up right now," I admitted.
He sighed at his desk and nodded his head. "I have, but only once," he said. I stood there and crossed my arms; I waited for what he had to say next because I would've never expected that. "I was young and stupid. It was my junior year of high school and I was dating this girl a little over a month. She was a beautiful girl, such a sweetheart, and could've totally done better than me."
"I doubt that, dad," I said. He snorted and shrugged his shoulder.
"Yeah, but I was a bit of an asshole back then and didn't care as much. I was also living in a household where my parents only cared about my future more than they cared about me. But anyway, I was dumb enough to get invited to a college party one night and met a college girl. Gorgeous girl, big ti-"
"Dad," I said to him. He kind of chuckled and I kind of chuckled along with him. It was great to laugh after the day I've been through.
"I made the choice to cheat on my girlfriend with her and since I made that choice, I felt like I needed to tell her," he admitted. We got serious again and I sighed.
"Do you think telling her was the right thing?" I asked him.
"I do," he replied. "Because no matter what, that gives the other person a choice: accept their apology for their wrongdoing or breakup with them and trust somebody who won't do something that careless. She chose the second one."
So with the wise words of my father, he has basically told me that even if Anthony had told me he was texting Miel and hanging out with her, would I have ended it then? And if I had told him about Friday night with Shayne, would he have ended it?
"What makes you ask this, sweetie?" Dad asked me.
I didn't like cussing in front of my dad, but since tears were still filling up in my eyes, I managed to say to him, "I fucked up, dad. And Anthony fucked up too." He leaned back in his chair and crossed his arms. "You remember all the guys from Smosh and Smosh Games, right?"
"Vaguely," he said. I groaned and put my hand on my head. "If you say their names, I'll probably remember."
"Well it was one of their birthdays and we had a party at a club. While Anthony and I were going, I invited Shayne to come to the party."
"Was Shayne the guy I kept talking to that day at the office?" Dad asked. I nodded. "I think he was the only one I could stand that didn't annoy me." If only Shayne wasn't pissed at me, I'd smile at what dad said.
"Shayne showed up and Anthony stayed around the bar, while I..." I took a deep breath and exhaled. "Danced with Shayne on the dance floor. And dad, I don't mean I just danced along side with him. I..."
"Yeah, yeah. I got it," he said. "I don't need to picture my daughter grinding up on some dude." I snorted quietly and looked down at the floor. "I wouldn't consider that cheating though."
"That's not why I asked you those questions, dad," I said. "Anthony found out yesterday about it from one of the girls and made such a big deal about it at work that everyone was staring and looking at me differently." I looked up at the ceiling and kept trying to hold back the tears that almost fell down my cheeks. "But it's completely okay for him to text a girl he was talking to before him and I got together and decided to hang out with her for almost a month.
"I didn't know any of this shit, dad. And I was still made as a bad guy for what I did with Shayne a few days ago, but it's okay to hide an ex girlfriend behind my back. Not to mention he chose me over her and it just proves that I was his second choice this whole time! I fucking wasted two years of my life on a guy who never wanted me!"
Tears fell down at that point and I covered my mouth, but then my dad got up from his seat and walked over to me. He didn't hesitate to pull me into a hug and I wrapped my arms around him. I let my tears fall right on his suit, but I knew he didn't care. He was being my father and being their for his daughter when she cried over a boy.
I said I didn't want to cry to Tristan about a boy anymore.
"And then I fucked my friendship up with Shayne since I brought up his ex girlfriend and..."
"Sweetheart," my dad said. "It'll be okay." We pulled away but he had his hands on my arms and I looked up at my father with tears still in my eyes. "I remember Shayne pretty damn well and I know he thinks of the world of you." I chuckled and had a slight smile on my face. "He will accept your apology, but Anthony..."
"Yeah?" I asked.
"You two are gonna have to sit down again and try to talk it out. No yelling, no arguing, just talk it out like adults," dad said to me. I sniffled and slightly nodded. "But you've been through enough today so you know what you need to do?"
"Go to the bar and drink my sorrows away?"
"Exactly," dad said. I laughed and hugged him once again. "You know that's what always made me feel better. Try not to get drunk though and for god sakes, don't dance with a guy on the dance floor again."
I giggled and looked at my father again. "Thank you for the talk, dad."
He might not be my real dad, but he is the only dad I have and I loved him.