These are my 3 a.m. Words
It's late but you just won't leave my mind
At eleven I decided I would do my homework tomorrow
As if it will be any easier to push you out of my thoughts then
Here I am four hours later debating on whether I should cry or try to sleep
If I cry I'm letting you win again
If I sleep you will haunt me in my dreams
If you were still here you would say I should cry so the hurt goes away
If you were still here I wouldn't have any hurt to wish away
You knew I was fragile but you chose your ego over my feelings
If you were still here I'd be laying on your chest right now humming songs as you sleep
It's funny because I love you but I hate you
And I'm miserably sad but I'm angry
And I never want to see you again but I miss you like hell
But here I am laying lonely listening to Taylor swift
I don't even like Taylor swift
I don't really like anything right now
Everything brings back your smile
Everything reminds me of the first I love you
The kisses that seemed to feel relentless
Like the world was begging us to love
The world needs more love
Those nights where you just cried
And the nights where I just cried
Those were the nights where we stayed up and watched the moon like it was the only thing that made sense
Most the things I say don't make sense
You always tried to understand
I have too many thoughts
You always seemed to understand
We had so many damned problems together
But it all seemed a little less scary when we had each other to face it with
Well now I stand alone
Trying not to cry because now no one is here to tell me I'm not alone
Or make it all feel okay
So now I'm gonna go to sleep
And if I'm lucky he's waiting in my dream with open arms to hold me as I gaze into those deep eyes only to wake up and remember what he's done
my 3a.m. Words