Hello, it is I! I'm on semester break which means I get to do all kinds of crazy stuff, like writing 2000 words of fanfic in one sitting. I started this one-shot more than three months ago and I finally finished it! Woo hoo!
Anyway, this is for the Tumblr anon(s) who asked for a friends with benefits one-shot. This is basically 2013 Kaylor meets Delicate meets So It Goes... meets a fwb plot, so enjoy. There are like 300 song references in here and some are more obvious than others, I dare you to find them all.
I'm honestly not sure if this sucks or not but I've spent so much time looking at this today that I can't get myself to go over it again. As always, thank you for reading! Oh p.s. the update for The Sheriff will be ready in a few days.
Nikki
---
November 13, 2013
Many good stories started with just the right amount of alcohol. This one was no exception, because Taylor would never have invited Karlie over if she hadn't been a little drunk.
It was a few minutes after midnight when they entered Taylor's apartment. Karlie knocked over a plant, cursed, laughed, bit her lip, sat down on the sofa. It didn't really matter what she did; Taylor was enthralled by every move and sound. She should've known she was screwed back then.
Karlie's eyes were so green that it made you wonder if they were real. Taylor spent so much time gazing into them that it shouldn't have caught her off guard when Karlie leaned in to kiss her. But it did, because they just met, and Taylor didn't even do one-night-stands. She could count her sexual partners on one hand and they were all people she'd been in serious relationships with. She wasn't a meaningless sex person. And that's what she would have told Karlie if she hadn't been drunk and if Karlie's lips hadn't felt amazing on her skin. That first time, it was hurried and fervent and dirty. Taylor vaguely remembered ripping Karlie's blouse off and throwing it on the floor—she had never done something like that. It was hot, very hot, and Karlie's scent was everywhere. After a while, it felt like she was breathing Karlie's skin instead of oxygen. And it felt good. And it tasted like more.
And when Taylor woke up the next morning, Karlie was gone.
----
November 18, 2013
i had fun the other night. any chance we might be doing that again some time?
Taylor had been staring at this text for ten minutes. There were a lot of things wrong with it. For instance, it was sent by an unknown number and it wasn't signed, so it could be anyone. Secondly, 'the other night' could be any night between yesterday and like two months ago, so that didn't narrow it down either. Thirdly, 'any chance we might be doing that again'? Doing what again? Hooking up again? Or just seeing each other again? How was Taylor supposed to know what the sender meant by that? Fourthly, if it was Karlie, she had annoying typing habits—no capital letters at the start of sentences and not even the 'i' was capitalized. And lastly, if it was Karlie, why the hell had it taken her five days to contact her? Why had she contacted her at all? Wasn't the whole point of a one-night stand that it only happened once?
Taylor considered asking Selena for advice, but she wasn't ready for her friend's judgmental comments yet. So after a long period of thinking, typing, deleting, and typing again, she sent: I'm sorry, who's this?
Her mind was racing and she didn't even know why. The texter probably wasn't Karlie, and even if it was, she didn't even know Karlie. They had talked for ten minutes, tops. And okay, maybe they'd done way more intimate stuff for way longer than that, but that still didn't make Karlie anything more than an acquaintance.
But the possibility of Karlie wanting to 'do it again some time' had her stomach in knots.
----
November 19, 2013
it's karlie. lily gave me your number, i hope you don't mind?
i just wanted to know if wednesday was a one time thing
because i had fun
ya know
The way Karlie texted infuriated Taylor for some reason. It seemed like every text was multi-interpretative. She did more analyzing than she'd ever done in her high school English class. Why did Karlie send four different texts? Was that supposed to sound more casual? Or was it just a substitute for punctuation? But then why did the first text have punctuation? And she could've just texted 'I just wanted to know if Wednesday was a one-time thing because I had fun ya know'. She didn't have to double text. Why did she double text? Was she desperate for Taylor's attention?
There was no other option than to ask Selena.
----
November 20, 2013
Unsurprisingly, Selena was beyond excited. "You had a one-night stand?" she yelled as soon as Taylor stuttered out her confession. "With a Victoria's Secret Angel?! Taylor, oh my God! Up high!"
"Yeah, uh, I did." Taylor gave her a halfhearted high five. She took a sip of her wine, blushing slightly. "Um, but now she's texting me and I don't know what she wants."
"Wait, which Angel are we talking about? Cara Delevingne?"
"No, God, no." Taylor laughed nervously. "No, uh...I don't know if you know her. You probably don't. But either way, this information stays between these four walls, okay?"
"Yes, of course! Just tell me!"
"Okay—Karlie Kloss."
Selena's mouth fell open. "You're kidding."
"I wish I was kidding."
"Dude, she's the hottest one out there! I would hit that."
"Sel, please—"
"How was it? It was good, right? Karlie Kloss looks like she knows what she's doing."
"It was..." Taylor paused and blushed again. "Yeah, she was great."
"Damn, I can't believe you're banging models now!Come on, show me what we're dealing with."
Taylor reluctantly handed over her phone.
"Ah, a double texter," Selena nodded. "She's thirsty."
"You think so?"
"Taylor, she's literally asking you if you want to hook up again."
"Oh. Okay. Alright." Taylor's throat was dry as hay.
"So do you want to?"
"Hook up? With Karlie Kloss? Uh..." The thought was enough to make her break out in sweat. "I don't—um, I don't think—my reputation is bad enough as it is, I don't need a model girlfriend—or fuckbuddy or whatever."
"Yeah, exactly, your reputation is already pretty much ruined, so who cares what you—" Selena stopped. "Oh, sorry, was that mean?"
"It was honest," Taylor said with a faint smirk. "So you think I should text her back?"
----
November 24, 2013
The next time Taylor saw Karlie Kloss, she was sober and therefore way less confident than during their first meeting. As a result, she got to see a different side of Karlie—a side that came as a complete surprise to her. As soon as Karlie noticed her obvious discomfort in the dive bar where they met up, she called a cab and drove them to her apartment. She didn't seem annoyed or disappointed, just a little embarrassed.
"I'm sorry, I should've known you're not a dive bar girl," she mumbled when they drove through the city. Taylor was watching the buildings rush by through the window and her heart made a startled jump at the sound of Karlie's voice, no matter how soft it was. She hadn't expected there to be lots of talking tonight, let alone apologies.
"What defines a dive bar girl?" she asked, sincerely curious.
"They usually have a little more...edge."
"Ah." Taylor was a tad insulted. "Well. Okay. It was not the dive bar, though, it was just the presence of people."
Karlie's lips curled into a smirk. "Afraid of being seen with me?"
Taylor glanced at the cab driver, but he didn't seem to recognize her—nor did he seem to have any interest in their conversation whatsoever. "Not you, per se. I'd rather not be seen with anyone in this setting."
"People would start talking."
"Yes," Taylor said dubiously. "Well, they already are talking, of course..."
Karlie's brow furrowed. "They are?"
"Oh, come on," Taylor scoffed. "You don't have to pretend you haven't seen the headlines."
"Which headlines?"
With surprise, Taylor realized that Karlie genuinely had no idea what she was talking about. "You really—you haven't—you have never seen a negative headline about me?"
"Maybe I have," Karlie shrugged. "I just don't remember stuff like that, it's all clickbait anyway. What do they say about you?"
"I date too much."
"You do?" That seemed to pique Karlie's interest.
"No, I don't," Taylor said, instantly defensive. "That's just what they say. I don't date at all, actually. I haven't dated someone in over a year."
"Okay. Well...Who cares if you had a new man every other week. You're in your twenties, you shouldn't settle for the first dude who shows interest. You should try out different stuff, it's what we all do. It's what I do, and I don't get shamed for it. They should just stay in their lane. It's none of their damn business."
It was the most Taylor had ever heard Karlie say and she didn't have an answer to it. Karlie was right, only...it wasn't that simple. Taylor could have explained that—she could have said something along the lines of 'yeah, but it still bothers me, even though they're wrong', but she wasn't really in a mood to talk about it. She wasn't going to let this night turn into a pity party.
Karlie gave her a quizzical look, perhaps misreading her silence for more than it was. "You know you shouldn't let shit like that get to you, right?"
Taylor nodded quickly.
Karlie's green eyes were burning a hole in her cheek. "You are letting it get to you."
It wasn't a question, so Taylor didn't answer. They sat in a tense silence for about thirty seconds until the car stopped and Karlie said, "We're here."
Here was Karlie's place in West Village. She had a beautiful three-story apartment with a large living room and big windows that gave an excellent view of the New York City skyline. Taylor gazed at the inky sky until Karlie turned the light on and she spun around so she could have a better look at the interior.
It wasn't exactly what she was expecting—she had prepared for something less...classy. This living room looked like something she could have decorated. It had a very soft, creamy white theme with lots of candles and exotic-looking room plants. Taylor immediately felt more at ease. Maybe she and Karlie were more alike than she had thought.
"So do you want to have sex or not?"
But then again, maybe they weren't.
"Uh, what?" The straightforwardness of the question completely caught Taylor by surprise.
"I mean, I was just wondering if it's still gonna happen," Karlie explained. "You don't really seem in the mood."
"S-so?" Taylor stuttered, clenching her purse tightly. "Maybe—so what if I don't want to have sex? Is that the only reason why we're here?"
"Yeah, I thought it was."
"So if I don't want to, you're gonna kick me out?"
"No," Karlie said calmly. "I just wanted to—I wanted to set straight that we don't have to. Just because you booty-called me, doesn't mean you—"
"I didn't booty-call you. I—I didn't...Jesus, are you always this direct?"
"Yeah." Karlie gave her a crooked grin. "But it's also that I love seeing you flustered."
"I'm not flustered," Taylor said, knowing very well that her cheeks were about ten shades darker than their normal color. "I'm not, I—you don't—um—so how about that drink?"
Karlie's smile became wider. "Let me get rid of your coat first."
They ended up talking for most of the night and although the conversation didn't always run smoothly, Taylor felt herself liking Karlie's company more than she thought she would. Karlie was very chatty about some subjects (like the fashion industry) and very quiet about others (like her childhood), but overall, she was pleasant to talk to. She was smart, well-spoken, and she had a dry wit that was incredibly attractive. Taylor had to remind herself several times that the occasion was still just a 'booty-call' and not a date, and that she shouldn't be overly flirty in her approach.
When the conversation came to a standstill between subjects, Karlie calmly poured herself another glass of wine. She held the bottle up for Taylor. "Do you want...?"
"No, thank you," Taylor said politely.
Karlie put the bottle down. "Can I ask you something?"
"Yeah?"
"Why did you want to go out again?"
"What do you mean?"
"Well..." Karlie said—her tone somewhat uncomfortable. "I was just wondering if I was unclear about my intentions. When I texted you, I meant 'doing it again sometime' as, y'know, hooking up again."
"I know," Taylor said, puzzled. "I know, that's wh—that's what I wanted."
"Okay, good." Karlie was obviously relieved. "Because I'm not looking for a relationship right now."
"No!" Taylor barked out an awkward laugh. "No, I know. Me neither."
"And, like, friendship would be really pushing it. Ideally, for me, our relationship would be, um—purely sexual."
"Well, you're—honest."
"I've been told honesty is one of my better traits," Karlie said with a faint smile that could be interpreted as uneasiness.
"I like it, it's refreshing." Taylor was quick to reassure her. "So...just sex. What are the rules there? Can we talk afterward?"
"Yes, we can."
"Can we kiss?"
Karlie chuckled. "Do you want to kiss?"
Taylor glanced at the model's lips and blushed. "Yeah," she admitted shyly.
Karlie leaned in and tucked a strand of hair behind Taylor's ear. "Okay, there you have your answer."
She was even more beautiful up close and Taylor could fully enjoy it now she was sober. She swallowed thickly and pressed her lips against Karlie's.
Kissing was also better sober. It felt more real. Taylor loved that she could hear the soft moan she drew from Karlie when she opened her mouth to give her access. She loved Karlie's hands on the bare skin of her shoulders. She loved straddling her waist and feeling Karlie's fingers lace into her hair. It was all so real and so intense and so invigorating.
Karlie was more gentle than she had to be. Taylor had found out that she liked it a little rough, but only with Karlie. With Karlie, she wanted to feel as much as possible. She didn't need caresses, she needed tugs and pinches, and Karlie was so soft that nothing she could do would be too much.
"Are you sure?" Karlie asked—the first words between them in minutes—when she was pinned under Taylor in a horizontal position and Taylor was about to lower her head between her thighs. "You d-don't have to do this, y'know."
Taylor loved hearing a tremor in Karlie's voice and she decided she wanted to hear more of it. "I know."
Karlie seemed to think this was her first time going down on a girl, and Taylor realized the model might have been more influenced by her 'man-eater' reputation that she had thought. She knew what she was doing here. If she hadn't, she probably wouldn't have initiated it.
It wasn't long before it dawned on Karlie that this was familiar territory for Taylor and she voiced her realization with a soft, breathy, "Oh God."
Taylor loved being the reason for Karlie's Oh God's. She didn't seem like someone who threw them around lightly.
"Oh, Taylor."
She wasn't sure what she had done to deserve hearing her name on Karlie Kloss's tongue in such a state of ecstasy but it was so beautiful she could cry. She worked hard for the grand finale and was rewarded by a bunch of expletives that were said so tenderly that it had her head spinning—with something that was definitely lust and not something else. She fell asleep with her head on Karlie's stomach.
The next morning, she woke up to an empty apartment again.
---
December 13, 2013
Taylor didn't like saying 'friends with benefits'. It had a negative connotation for her—bad, shameful, dirty. She didn't like to admit that she was partaking in such foolishness when she was clearly way too old and mature for it, so when people asked with whom she was spending so much time lately, it was her friend Karlie. Only Selena knew about the true nature of their relationship—and liked to tease her about it every chance she got.
"Tay, you seem so much more relaxed lately," she declared loudly in front of Jaime and Emma. "What would you say is causing it? Have you taken on a new fitness routine?"
"Well, I—"
"Or some other type of physical exercise, perhaps?"
Taylor choked on her drink and saw Jaime and Emma exchange a look.
"No one can know!" She reprimanded Selena afterward when they were sitting on the kitchen floor surrounded by empty beer bottles. "Which means you can't say things like that in front of our friends."
Selena laughed. "Tay, relax, they have no idea."
"Yeah, and I'd like to keep it that way. I...people—the media—it's already insane and they don't even know—"
"That you're eating supermodel pussy at night?"
"Well—yeah." Taylor hated that she was still blushing at comments like these. She should have been used to the idea by now.
"Honey, everything is fine. You just keep sneaking around and I'll keep not telling our friends. There's no reason why anyone would find out."
"I know, it's just...it's not even because of me, I just don't want them to go after Karlie. She's only just starting out, if her name gets tied to mine already, she'll never get rid of that."
Selena took a bite from a cucumber she had found in the fridge and munched on it for a while. "Why do you care?"
Taylor shrugged. "She's a nice girl. I don't want her to get hurt."
"She's a nice girl," Selena mocked her, mouth full of cucumber. "You're so full of shit, Swift. You have a thing for her."
"I do not!" Taylor exclaimed. "Oh my God, why would you even say that? Karlie and I are just..."
"Friends with benefits?"
"For the lack of a better term, yes."
Selena grinned. "Sweetie, you're so whipped. You've been whipped since that first time. You can call it what you want, but it doesn't change how you feel about her."
Taylor rolled her eyes. "I'm not whipped. I...she's lovely but she's Karlie and even if things were different, we would still be a horrible match. The only place where we have chemistry is in bed. Or on the couch. Or on the kitchen table, multiple times, actually..."
"Okay, ew, I get it."
"We work well together as two people who have sex occasionally, but if feelings were to get involved, it would turn into an awful mess." Taylor stared at her hands and realized that she wished it were different.
Selena gave her a somewhat sad smile. "If you say so."
---
December 14, 2013
happy birthday! i know it's technically not your birthday anymore but better late than never amirite ;) anyway, i hope you had fun and i'll see you on monday
Taylor didn't get annoyed at Karlie's lack of proper punctuation and spelling in text messages anymore. It was kind of...charming. Laidback. Casual. Way cooler than she would ever be. She'd usually reply something simple ('Okay'/'Thanks'/'I'll be there') that didn't convey that she had jumped up at the notification, but this time, she had no other option than to type out something more substantial. She had just remembered that she would be flying to LA on Monday morning, so she wouldn't be able to make it to Karlie that night.
I'm gonna be out of town this Monday so that won't work for me. I'll be back on Friday so maybe we can reschedule for next weekend?
Too thirsty. She hastily put her phone down and didn't gather the courage to pick it up until an hour later. There was no reply. Karlie hadn't even read the text yet.
There was still no reply when Taylor was getting ready for bed that evening and she started to freak out because Monday was only two days away and what if Karlie had already adjusted her schedule under the illusion they would each other that night?
With trembling fingers, she navigated her phone to Karlie's contact information and hovered over the 'call' button. She had never called her before and she wasn't sure if Karlie would like her to do that. It didn't quite fit the extreme nonchalance of their relationship.
The phone rang three times before Karlie picked up. "Hi?"
"H-hey." Taylor's greeting was shy and nervous.
"Taylor?" Karlie's voice was rough and strangled and Taylor's stomach fell immediately. She recognized that voice all too well.
"Yeah, uh, I was just wondering if you read my text, but if I'm interrupting something—"
"Yeah, I saw it," Karlie cut her off. "We'll reschedule, it's fine."
"O-okay."
Taylor was about to say goodbye when there suddenly was a high voice on Karlie's side, asking something inaudible. Karlie answered it with a low, "No one."
"Um, you—you should get back to whatever you're doing." Taylor bit her lip in embarrassment. "I'm sorry for calling."
"No problem—" Karlie barely got the words out before it seemed that her phone was snatched away by the unknown woman. Taylor could hear Karlie's growl of protest in the background, but it was to no avail.
"Hi," the woman said, her voice loud and giggly. "I don't know who you are, but Karlie and I are trying really hard to have sex here so I'm gonna hang up on you now."
The line was disconnected immediately and Taylor's heart was beating in her throat as she dazedly looked at her phone screen. Before she even knew what was happening—before she had even identified her sudden rage as jealousy—she smashed her phone against the wall and sunk onto the floor, burying her face in her hands.
Fuck.
---
December 21, 2013
The next time they saw each other, Taylor was weird and anxious and she couldn't stop thinking about the other woman's hands on Karlie's skin and if Karlie said her name the same way she said 'Taylor'.
They were in Taylor's apartment for the first time after the night they met at the Victoria's Secret afterparty. Taylor had lit all her candles and blew them out in the thirty seconds it took Karlie to get from the building entrance to her front door. It was too cozy, too nice, too much, and so were her dress and her make-up. She couldn't make too much of an effort to look good, that was not how this worked.
Karlie didn't seem to mind and let her eyes roam over Taylor's outfit the moment she opened the door. Taylor was immediately angry when she thought about Karlie's piercing stare directed at the other woman. This was going all wrong and she knew it. She had no right to be jealous. Karlie wasn't hers and she was allowed to have sex with whoever she wanted, whenever she wanted. But still—it didn't feel right.
Karlie complimented her and Taylor reacted with a dismissive shrug, not able to give her anything else at this point.
"Taylor?" Karlie's voice echoed through the apartment when Taylor turned around and made her way into the living room. "Is everything okay?"
"Yes," Taylor snapped.
Karlie had to take a small sprint to keep up with her. "Hey." She gripped Taylor's shoulder and swirled her around. "Is this about Toni?"
"Who?"
"My friend Toni. The one who interrupted our phone call last Saturday. Look, I'm sorry about that, she shouldn't have—"
Taylor took a step back. "I don't give a damn with whom you spend your nights when you're not with me."
"Well, it seems like you do give a damn." Karlie crossed her arms and leaned back against Taylor's table. Her everlasting calmness was infuriating.
"Well, I don't, so."
"We're not exclusive...you know that, right?" Karlie said unsurely. "We're just friends who fuck sometimes."
"I'm aware, thank you," Taylor bit out. "Can you just shut up and take my fucking dress off already? That's what you came for, right?"
Karlie raised her eyebrows but she complied, and Taylor could have sobbed from relief when their bodies finally collided in a messy make-out session. This was what she wanted. She wanted to feel Karlie everywhere, and she wanted to forget that Karlie wasn't actually hers. She was with Karlie now and she was whole.
And in the morning, she was alone again.
---
February 15, 2014
For a few months, that was how things went—they met up once or twice a week, they talked for a while, they had sex, and Karlie was gone when Taylor woke up. It was an easy routine to get used to, so Taylor wasn't sure why she didn't. It still hurt every time the bed was empty, or when Karlie rejected her by saying she had 'something else' that night. Taylor was having trouble accepting that she was just that tiny speck in Karlie's life, and that Karlie might be a significantly bigger part of hers.
Slowly but surely, a friendship had started to develop between them. The conversation was less strained and Taylor felt more comfortable around Karlie. Their late night rendezvous became dinner dates, where Taylor would cook for Karlie and they ended up on the couch with a sitcom and a glass of wine—sometimes they fell asleep before the 'chill' part of the Netflix & Chill could even happen. Karlie started talking about her childhood and her dysfunctional family, and Taylor remembered her sisters' names.
That was the beginning of the end. The moment Taylor started looking forward not only to sitting on Karlie's face but to telling her about her day. That was not part of the agreement. Karlie had made clear that a relationship wasn't an option, and that friendship would be 'really pushing it'. Taylor dreaded the day that Karlie would realize they had long crossed this line.
And one night in the middle of February, Karlie refused to kiss her on the mouth as a greeting. She was quieter than usual and she fell asleep immediately after sex, rolling away from Taylor to the far edge of the bed.
Taylor couldn't sleep—the nagging ache in her stomach grew stronger and stronger until it consumed her whole body and she was forced to ask herself why this hurt this much. This wasn't a normal reaction—this was crazy. Karlie didn't do anything wrong; she was exactly like she was when they first started this. She kept the appropriate amount of distance and Taylor couldn't handle it anymore.
Hours later, when Taylor still hadn't fallen asleep and started to feel very panicked about the prospect of lying awake all night, she stood up and went to the bathroom.
You're not in love with Karlie Kloss.
Taylor splattered a hand of water on her face. Her mascara was running down her cheeks but she would fix that later. She had to get those thoughts out of her head first. She could not lie next to Karlie and feel sick to her stomach at the thought of waking up to an empty bed again. If she was in so deep, something had gone terribly wrong.
You're not in love with Karlie Kloss. It's just sex and that's all it'll ever be.
Her eyes were burning now and tears threatened to spill. She wasn't entirely sure how she ended up hyperventilating in front of her bathroom mirror at 3 a.m. while Karlie was asleep in her bed. She wasn't sure how she managed to let it come this far. She wasn't sure when or where or how a casual thing had transformed into this obsession. Ever since she met Karlie, life had been happening in a haze. A haze of euphoria and exhilaration and regret and now, suddenly, heartbreak.
Heartbreak.
She wasn't allowed to feel heartbroken over Karlie Kloss and that realization made her more distraught than she already was. She sat down against the wall and pressed a cheek against the cold tiles in an attempt to find something that resembled comfort.
"Taylor?"
Taylor let out a startled squeak at Karlie's voice. "W-what?"
"Are you okay?" Karlie's hand was on the handle of the locked door. "Hey...Taylor, open up."
"I'm fine. I just...I don't feel very good."
"Are you sick? Maybe something was wrong with the chicken." The worry in Karlie's voice elicited a new wave of tears. Taylor had to dig her nails into her skin to be able to vocalize a somewhat controlled sentence.
"Yeah, it was probably the chicken. Just go back to bed, I don't think you should be here for this."
"Open up the door."
"No."
Taylor heard Karlie sigh. "Tay."
"No."
"It's not the chicken, isn't it?"
A sob got stuck in Taylor's throat and she bit her lip to swallow it.
"Taylor, if you don't open the door, I'm gonna get a screwdriver."
Taylor stood up and unlocked the door with shaking hands. She sat down on the edge of the bathtub and waited until Karlie would barge in—but Karlie opened the door very gently and eyed Taylor carefully before stepping inside.
"Hi," she said. "Are you—no, you're not okay."
Taylor quickly brushed some tears from her face, as if that would help. "Not really, no."
Karlie plopped down next to her. She was tentative, uncertain how to handle this, but finally decided to wrap an arm around Taylor's shoulders. "Do you want to tell me what's going on?"
Taylor chuckled and hiccupped. "We have to stop."
"Stop—?"
"Stop seeing each other."
"Oh." Karlie seemed taken aback. "Uh, may I ask why?"
"Because I'm fucking stupid."
"Because—?"
"Because the thought of you with other women makes me want to smash things. I don't know how that happened because I know you're all casual and chill and I tried, you know, I tried to be chill—but I'm just not. Obviously." Taylor let out a pathetic chuckle as she gestured to nothing in particular. "I think—maybe I'm just incapable of doing the sex part without having the committed relationship part. So we have to stop."
"Okay," Karlie nodded. "That's okay."
"Yeah, um...S-so you'd better get out of here."
"Why?"
"Did you hear anything of what I just said?"
"You can't do the sex without the commitment. That's fine, but why would we stop having sex if we can just...add the commitment?"
Taylor's brow furrowed. "Because you don't want that. You told me at the beginning that you didn't want a relationship."
"I told you I wasn't looking for a relationship," Karlie corrected her. "And that's still true. I'm not sure if I'm ready for something serious. But you're...you. You make me laugh, you make great chicken parmesan, and you look cute with glasses on."
"So if you had to pick someone, it would be me—is that what you're trying to say?" Taylor said skeptically.
A blush spread on Karlie's cheeks. "I'm trying to say that...I have a hard time trying to picture myself in a relationship. But when I do, when I try to imagine myself committed to someone, like, the real deal, like, living together and sharing a bedroom and getting a pet, I guess, then...Then you're the only person that I could imagine myself wanting that with."
Taylor scoffed. "You're really bad at love confessions."
"I'm sorry. I'm usually not this—weird about it."
"It's fine."
"I think you're pretty amazing, Taylor."
Taylor smiled softly. "I think we should just go back to bed. You know, sleep on it. It's 3:30 a.m., I don't think we should be making big decisions about our relationship right now."
"Yeah, you're right," Karlie mumbled.
When they were in bed, Karlie pulled Taylor toward her and pressed a kiss in her hair. It was the first time they were so close without it being sexual and Taylor could feel an indescribable calmness settle in her stomach.
"Hey," Karlie whispered after a few minutes had passed in silence. "You awake?"
"Yeah."
"I think I might have feelings for you. I should have said something sooner, I know, but I was just afraid—I wasn't sure if you felt the same and I wasn't sure what would happen if you did."
"Okay," Taylor said quietly.
"Was that better? Love confession-wise?"
"Slightly better."
"So what now?"
"Sssh. We'll figure it out in the morning."
---
The next morning, Taylor woke up to an empty bed. Her entire body froze when she realized this, but when she reached out to the nightstand to grab her phone, she noticed a little post-it glued to her lamp.
Before you freak out, I'm downstairs making breakfast. If it smells normal, feel free to stay in bed. If it smells like something is burning, you should consider coming down to help me out.
Kar
P.S. I love you
---
A/N: Hi, I hope you enjoyed this! Let me know :)