"I haven't seen your parents in a while." Noah said casually, as a means of broaching the subject of Casimir's family without coming across too straightforward.
Cas looked up at him from the shelf of DVDs he was crouched at without saying anything. After a couple of seconds of silence he shrugged. "Yeah, I guess."
The clock on the wall showed the time was inching close to eleven o'clock, meaning that Cas had been over for four hours and Noah hadn't yet managed to get any answers out of him.
They were currently deciding on a movie to watch (Casimir had point blank refused Erin Brockovich). The massive pile of junk food had moderately lessened, Noah surprising himself by managing to find his appetite again after earlier.
"Or Sam for that matter." He pushed further, referencing Casimir's brother who was younger than them by just a year. He kept his voice neutral, being careful not to sound too suspicious in case Casimir realized what he was doing.
"Yeah.." Cas trailed off awkwardly, rubbing the back off his neck. Noah perked up at this— maybe Sam was a viable lead.
"How's he been doing?"
"Sam? He's.. yeah he's good." Casimir said, and Noah opened his mouth to probe further but Cas spoke up before he could. "How about 21 Jump Street?" He asked, holding up the DVD for Noah's approval.
"Suits me." Noah shrugged, secretly irked at having his investigation cut short.
Casimir pushed the disc into the player before jumping up onto the bed beside Noah. Under normal circumstances, Noah would have spent the whole time secretly freaking out and trying to play calm with Cas sitting so close next to him, but tonight his mind was elsewhere.
He was too distracted by the whole situation to really get excited when his arm brushed of Casimir's when they both reached for popcorn from the bowl in between them at the same time.
He went over the facts in his head. He had been in some kind of accident or conflict. He couldn't remember it, but his parents and Casimir knew what happened. They wouldn't tell him, but that part was doctors orders. Casimir hadn't been to see him during his six month stint in hospital, and there was a legitimate reason for that that Noah had yet to find out.
This is where he had to start speculating. Casimir's family may have had something to do with it. Casimir's mother was quite possibly sick. Noah hadn't seen or heard of Casimir's dad. Was he the one involved in all of this?
And then there was Sam, Casimir's brother. This one was a new lead, but perhaps an important one. Cas clammed up when the subject was approached. Was Sam okay? Had he been injured in the accident? Had he caused the accident?
But what if all of this was just speculation. Maybe the Daniels family had nothing to do with it at all, and this was all just a conspiracy that Noah had created in his own head.
He didn't know if that thought was more relieving or worrying.
Noah was so lost in his own world that he didn't notice Cas glancing at him until the other boy paused the movie and turned to face him.
"You're not into this." Casimir observed. It wasn't a question.
"Sorry, just distracted." Noah replied, smiling sheepishly.
"Everything okay?" Casimir asked, brows furrowed in concern.
"Yeah. No. I don't know- just thinking I guess."
"Anything I can help with?"
Noah paused.
"What happened the day of the accident?"
Noah knew it was unfair to ask, and one look at Casimir's falling face made him regret it instantly. He knew how guilty Cas felt about hiding it from him.
"Noah— "
Casimir began to speak but Noah cut him off before he could say anything. "No, forget I asked. Sorry." He said, reaching forward to grab the remote and restart the movie.
Casimir's hand grabbed the remote before Noah could reach it, switching off the television before dropping it onto the floor.
"Talk to me Noah. I'm worried."
Noah didn't know what exactly convinced him, but he had a feeling it was the raw honesty and concern in Cas' words. Either way, the words tumbled out of his mouth like a landslide.
He always seemed to lose control of his words around Casimir. Something about the brown eyed boy just always convinced him to spill his heart. If it wasn't so comforting, Noah was sure he'd find it embarrassing.
"I just feel so out of the loop. Like I've missed the last six months of my life and I know nothing at all." He said, voice cracking as he spoke. "Like everything is different, and your different, and I don't know everything about you anymore. Like I used to."
"Let's play questions then." Casimir suggested, and Noah perked up as he remembered. How could he have forgotten? Him and Cas used to play questions all the time.
"You start." He said, but it came out as a muffled mess as he shoved popcorn in his mouth as he spoke.
"Gross. But okay." Cas said, nose scrunching up as he observed Noah eating like an animal across from him.
Noah just stuck out his tongue immaturely, earning him a light shove from Cas.
"Okay, current favourite song?"
Starting out simple. That was always the was it was with their games. Start off with the easy stuff, and work deeper. So by the time you were spilling your heart it felt natural.
"Love My Way by The Psychedelic Furs." Noah replied after a moment of consideration.
"You and your eighties songs." Casimir teased, rolling his eyes in mock disapproval.
"Beats your electronic pop crap." Noah countered, making a face at the thought of Casimir's music.
"Hey, that stuff is the best."
"Whatever, we agreed to disagree when it comes to what qualifies as good music. Even though I'm clearly right." Noah said stubbornly, deep down refusing to accept that the crap that Cas listened to beat his classic eighties power ballads.
"Whatever. Ask your question already." Cas said, a small smile playing on his lips. Noah had a matching one on his face.
"Is your mom sick?"
This was not how the game was supposed to go.
Noah's mouth blurted out the words before he could stop himself, and his hand flew to his mouth in shock. He had surprised himself with his own bluntness, and Casimir too seemed taken aback by Noah's sudden straightforwardness. This was Noah after all, king of Beating Around The Bush.
"Uh.. yeah. I mean, yes. Kinda." Casimir replied eventually, awkwardly dancing around the answer.
That was the thing with Questions. You had to tell the truth.
"Shit Cas, I'm sorry. About your mom, and about being so blunt about it. I can't believe I asked you that." Noah said, guilt pooling in his stomach. Guilt and nausea. He was right, Juny was sick. This was one of the times Noah had wished he was wrong.
"It's okay. Really, I guess you have the right to know. She's been practically a second mother to you all these years. I should have said something."
"Why didn't you?" Noah asked softly, hesitation clear in his voice.
"You have enough on your plate at the moment." Casimir replied, and Noah couldn't argue with him on that.
"I guess but still. Cas, you can talk to me about anything. All this time I've spent talking your ear off. You should have said something." Noah said, reaching across to grab Casimir's hand in a comforting grasp.
He ignored the fluttering in his chest. Now was not the time for major straight-boy-crushes.
"It wasn't a completely selfless decision." Casimir spoke softly. "When I'm with you, it's like I don't have to think about it. When I'm with you, it's just me and you. My mom's not sick and your accident never happened and we're just Noah and Casimir."
Noah swore that his heart almost stopped in that exact moment.
His mind was whirring, and he was so close to Casimir. Their hands were joined, and Noah's blood was racing through his veins. This was the most alive he had felt in months.
"Will she be okay?" Noah asked hesitantly when he finally found the ability to speak again.
"I really hope so."
Casimir didn't say anything else about it, and Noah decided not to broach the subject further. Not tonight anyway. When Casimir was ready to talk, he'd talk.
"My turn." Cas spoke, breaking the minute of silence that had ensued as each of the boys had been engrossed in their own thoughts.
"I swear Cas, if you ask some irrelevant question about movies or songs after all of this emotional talk I'll kill you." Noah joked, earning him a grin from Casimir.
"Alright then Noah. You wanna talk deep? Tell me a secret you've never told me." Casimir proposed, a devilish glint in his eye.
"There's nothing you don't already know." Noah replied instantly, a smug smile on his face. Nothing except the whole gay thing, but hey. He'd never said he was straight.
"There has to be. Everyone has secrets." Cas replied confidently, and Noah paused for a moment. Should he just say it?
"Not me."
"I don't believe you." Cas replied with a laugh. "There has to be something. Something weird you secretly love? Embarrassing moment you never shared? A girl you like?"
Noah looked at Casimir for a moment before deciding to just roll with it. Sam was gay after all, so Noah knew Cas was cool with that sorta stuff.
"I don't like girls. How's that for a secret." He fired, unable to stop the victorious grin that settled on his face at the thought that he had succeeded in surprising Casimir.
The silence, however, was much shorter than Noah expected.
"Wow. Did you just come out?" Cas asked with a laugh, and Noah grinned in response. It was all quite humorous when he though about it.
"I guess so. Are you surprised?"
"Not really. At all. To be honest." Casimir admitted, smiling slightly. "I've always kind of had a suspicion. Knew it wasn't my place to ask though."
Noah sincerely hope that Casimir's suspicion had nothing to do with the heart eyes he gave Cas when ever the other boy wasn't looking. Maybe Casimir was more observant then Noah realized.
"What gave me away?" Noah asked, forcing himself to keep his voice level.
"It was just one thing really. You said something before about some dude movie character or something being hot. I don't think you even realized you had said it, but once you did everything just kind of fell into place. I wasn't positive, but I was fairly certain."
Noah remembered. He had played it off as a passing comment and Cas hadn't said anything, but Noah had gone home absolutely mortified. But when Cas never said anything Noah eventually managed to convince himself nothing was different. "It wasn't a movie character. It was Derek from Teen Wolf." Noah said with a laugh.
"Ah yes, Tyler Hoechlin. Can't argue with you on that one." Casimir responded, and Noah tried not to read to much into what Cas was saying. There was no way that Cas was into boys, and if he went down this rabbit hole of speculating about Casimir's sexuality he would start seeing signs even where there wasn't any.
That wouldn't end well for either of the involved parties.
"Fair enough." Was all he replied, not delving further into the matter like sixteen year old Noah would have done.
"Your parents know?" Cas asked, shoveling popcorn into his mouth. He, however, at least had the manners to wait until he finished speaking to stuff his face.
"Yeah, they're cool with it." Noah replied with a shrug.
"So everything's all good." Cas stated, but it came across as more of a question than anything.
"Everything's all good."