Alexander
A mug of warm tea is pressed into my hand as rain continues to hit against the window panes. Thomas keeps his eyes trained on me as he takes a seat beside me on the couch. The dip of the couch due to his sitting causes some of the blanket to slip off of my form, destroying the makeshift cloak I had created. I can feel his eyes resting on the side of my face, but I can't bring myself to look back at him as I sip at the warm tea that he had brought me. My nose has to fight the urge to crinkle in distaste at the taste of the tea for the sake of politeness.
"You don't have to drink the tea if you don't like it Alexander." Thomas finally breaks the silence, his voice cutting through the air like silk.
"No no no...I like it." I mumble, staring at my distorted reflection on the drink's surface. I don't have to look at Thomas to know what his reaction to my response is. My skin tingles in the same way it always does whenever he looks at me with that distinct expression of disbelief and mocking arrogance. I can practically see his singular raised eyebrow from my peripheral vision.
"Then drink up."
"I...I will." I murmur with less confidence than I would care to display. His laughter cuts through the air as he grabs onto the rim of the mug, slipping it free from my fingers before bringing it to his own lips. I watch in silence as his eyes slide shut in relaxation as he takes a drink from the steaming mug. Thunder claps, shaking the house suddenly, I quickly cover my head with the blanket curling inwards on myself as I struggle to calm down the rapid rush of my heart.
My eyes widen underneath the shield of the blanket as Thomas wraps his arms around my form, pulling me against his side. The heat of his body radiates through the blanket, warming my side as my heart begins to gradually slow. His fingers grip onto my arm securely, not hurting me as he holds me close. My eyes slide shut as I try to hear his heart inside of his chest. His hand comes to rest on the side of my head as I lay my head flat against him. There is a low rumble of laughter inside of him and my eyes narrow at the sound.
"What are you laughing at?"
"You heard that, did you?" I assume that he is wearing that same teasing smile he always seems to wear when we are alone. The sound of his words seem to be bleed with his comfort and genuine amusement.
"I did." I murmur. "What's so funny?"
"I just find it funny that the first time you have ever willingly cuddled with me you are hiding underneath a blanket so I can't see you." he teases.
"This has nothing to do with you." I mutter.
"Doesn't it?" he asks with an air of mock hurt. "Hiding so you don't have to look at my face as you lean against me. I'm getting some mixed messages here Alexander."
"Stop it, Thomas." I mumble, tucking my knees up to my chest tightly. Lightening flashes through the gaps in the blanket. A shiver races through me and I can't fight it as it takes control of me.
"I was only teasing." He murmurs, pulling me close as he turns slightly and wraps his other arm around me. My eyes narrow as I feel his body shift, leaning bak as he pulls me with him. My hands reach out from beneath the blanket and brace themselves on his stomach as he pulls me down onto his chest, his legs surrounding mine. "It's okay you baby."
"Shut up. I'm not a baby." I grumble. He chuckles before moving his hand to pull back the blanket just enough so he can see my face. My chest tightens slightly when his eyes finally meet mine. I watch as they melt into pools of molten chocolate as he smiles at me, his arm wrapped around my waist as he simply holds me.
"Don't pout."
"Shut up." I mumble, laying my head down on his chest so I wouldn't have to look at him directly.
"Can you tell me what about these storms makes you so scared?" He murmurs, sliding his hand underneath the blanket to run his fingers through my hair. I curl defensively as the question brings back memories I would rather leave unspoken. "I've seen you not be afraid by rain, but when a storm rolls through thats when you become afraid. What's the trigger?" He presses.
"Can we not talk about this?" I whisper, gripping onto his shirt.
"We'll have to talk about it eventually."
"I know...but I can't now."
There is a moment of silence where Thomas simply runs his fingers through my hair. I am uncertain whether the action itself is meant to calm me or if it is simply an act that he is doing thoughtlessly. A small sense of dread begins to bubble up inside of me from the deep. I can tell from the gentle beat of his heart that he isn't angry, but I know that he will eventually continue to press this subject until I break and tell him what about these storms frightens me. I just don't think I can bear to tell him the whole story.
"I know what happened on Nevis." I lift my head to look at him and he simply looks back at me with warm eyes. "I know why storms scare you."
"If you know then why do you ask?" I ask with a dumbfounded expression.
"Knowing what triggers your fear can help me learn how to lessen your fear. If I can manage a way to diminish the effect of your trigger it would diminish your fear."
"How...how do you know about Nevis?" I croak. "That wasn't in the news."
"No, but I could tell just by looking at the population census of the last few years you lived there." He gently traces his thumb over the curve of my cheek. "You lived on an island surrounded by water. It isn't difficult to assume that a certain type of storm would pass through."
"Hur...Huri-" The syllables seem to choke me from the inside as I struggle to overcome my fear of the word.
"Shh." He rests his forehead against mine. "You don't have to say it." I feel tears begin to prick behind my lashes as the memories of the destruction and the rising water slam against my mental barricade until it cracked. "The word has no power over you. No storm can reach you here." His lips press against my skin as salty tears slip past my lashes and form dark stains on his shirt. "You're safe."
"Thomas." I sniffle, tears continuing to flow unabated.
"I'm here." He holds me tightly, wrapping his legs loosely around my waist. His entire body becoming a sort of security blanket as I cry into his chest. "There is nothing to be afraid of."
"Why do you have to be so kind to me?" I murmur, my fingers curling into his shirt tightly.
"You already know the answer to that question." His warm breath fans out across my face as he holds me close. The smell of orange and honey on his breath thanks the tea that he had drank less than ten minutes ago.
"I don't understand how." I mumble.
"How?" He questions quietly. "How I can care for you?" He brushes his nose against mine softly, making me shiver from the gentle touch. "How I can love you?"
"What changed?"
"I don't know." He replies honestly. "I don't think anything changed inside of me. I think you simply became more available to me and everything that I had felt simply intensified with you here with me."
"If I went away would your feelings follow?"
"Planning on going somewhere?" He asks suspiciously. I shake my head slowly from side to side, dragging my nose gently against his. His eyes close from the gentle gesture. "No, my feelings wouldn't change." He murmurs.
"Good." I whisper softly.
"How do you feel?" He inquires, running his fingers through my hair. His eyes meet mine curiously.
"I feel loved." My cheeks flush as his eyes meet mine. There is such a warm smile present on his face as both of his hands come to cradle my face between their palms. "Don't think too much of that." I grumble as his palms squeeze my face lightly, forcing my lips to pucker. He laughs lightly at my expression as he toys with my bottom lip.
"Too late." he replies with a heart melting smile. "Sorry."
"I should have known better." I grumble halfheartedly.
"Just shut up." He mutters as he presses his face against mine. I can't help the smile that forms as he holds me like this. Holds me like I'm something precious and I believe him.