Midnight wonders

Poem #152

"My tears slowly pool in my eyes and leak onto my cheeks
Staining them with sadness
And my heart is in my throat so when I scream it breaks
I'm shaking so much that I can't see clearly
So I started to whisper to myself
Some people might think i was crazy if they heard me,
Heard me telling myself to end it
And convincing myself that it was ok
Heard me fighting with people who weren't there
Or simply trying to reason with them
Heard me cussing at myself
How I'm so useless
So messed up
But my whispering turned into talking
Which turned into screaming
And screaming into crying
Crying into sobbing
And sobbing into drowning in my own tears
So I tried to swim to the surface by thinking of everything that makes me happy
But all I could think of was you crying when you assured me you were fine
Or the red that marked her wrist when she thought no one saw her
And then suddenly it was like everything just crashed down on me
And I was suffocating
I didn't breathe
I won't breathe
I can't b r e a t h e."
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I'm sorry that this sucked I'll re write it somehow but I didn't know how to explain what I was feeling without making it ugly cause last night was ugly
Sorry loves
-Your very own broken girl💜