Forced to move out of my old room, I lived in the drafty tower room above Ava's, a place usually reserved for the scullery maid. Since our budget was becoming increasingly tight, the room had remained unoccupied for some time, and it was dust-ridden and smelt of mildew. The rain had managed to leak through the often-patched roof, but I couldn't find it within myself to complain. Living in a drafty tower seemed better at the moment than being in closer vicinity to my sisters.
Excitement for the upcoming ball was growing, and giggly squeals of delight could be heard from every corner of the house as the girls looked over their wardrobes. Whenever I drew near, however, I was regarded with looks of intense superiority and effectively ignored. Staying away from them became increasingly more pleasant.
The staff watched everything in bewilderment. They didn't know whether I should be treated as one of them or one of the family. In truth, I myself was unsure. From the way my sisters treated me, it was clear that there was no one they loathed more, but they didn't treat me badly. Something or someone seemed to be stopping them, and meals were filled with tight silence and glum awkwardness.
Since his departure, father had only sent one note to say that he had arrived in the city, and I dearly missed being able to talk to him after a long day in my sister's company. Unlike other times when he was away, he didn't send my notes of encouragement. He was silent, and I was sad.
My birthday came with no word form him and nothing worth celebrating. It was the first time I had known him to break a promise. Once he gave his word, it was a given that he would go through with it no matter the cost.
I was sixteen, normally considered quite the achievement in Falean culture, but there were none of the usual congratulations. We didn't even have a special dinner. The servants gave their best efforts to cheering me, but I couldn't help being gloomy. Father had promised to return by my birthday, and only something very important could deter him from fulfilling a promise once it was given.
Once Greta—the cook and my old nursemaid—realized I couldn't be cheered, she reluctantly returned to her work and sent David for the mail. I wanted to help with the chores, but my heart wasn't in the work like usual. I stared helplessly at Ava as she scrubbed the kitchen floor on her hands and knees.
When I could bare the kitchen no longer, I rose and went into the yard to try to give my mind something else to focus on. The sky outdoors was vast and open, bluer than it had been in a long time. I hadn't even gotten my wish for snow; it seemed all the odds had been piled against me. I wanted desperately to go to the menagerie, but it had been forbidden, and I didn't feel like facing Mother's wrath when she learnt of my disobedience.
"Miss Bree!" David's voice pierced the silence as he suddenly tore through the gate, waving the mail in one hand and a separate envelope in the other. "It's a letter, miss, from your father." His hand was shaking when he finally reached me and put the letter in my hands, but his shakes weren't near as violent as the ecstatic trembles that were passing through by body at the sight of the note. Greta and Ava had come to the door when they heard the commotion, and now, they all grouped around me, their faces eager as they shared in my joy.
"Well, go on then, open it!" Ava prompted, her face red from the heat of the kitchen. I smiled, almost ready to cry with renewed happiness.
"I can't." I said, my heart sinking at the words. "Mother." I shrugged, disappointed as the word brought me back to earth.
"No, miss," David protested. "It's addressed to all of you, not just her." His words tempted me beyond my desire for self-preservation.
Clutching the envelope with indecision, I suddenly couldn't bear it any longer. I had to know what he had to say. Trembling with excitement and curiosity, I tore the seal and beheld Father's scrawl with a beaming smile. I had to wait for several minutes before my sight fully cleared, and then I read the words aloud eagerly:
My dearest family,
In my mind, the note was addressed to me, only me. I was the only one that cared what he called me, and so I took the address to heart.
I am sorry for my long silence. Things have been too busy for any letter writing. The king recently asked me to dine with him, and we began to talk of dangerous routes through Asteland, where the ogres and mountain trolls have terrorized travelers since Falea was formed. The next day, he invited me to ride with the hunt, and I got the impression that I was being scrutinized. A few days later, I received a letter from him—the contents of which cannot be revealed here, for I now bear a secret of the crown. I can only say that he is sending me away on business to see a very, very important friend of his.
I'm asking you not to worry—no, telling you. I will be traveling along the forest roads and will be safe from most dangers. I have been equipped with an entire outfit of men and everything I'll need. If and when I return, I will be offered a place at court if I desire to take it, which I'm sure you would all enjoy immensely.
I was never the type to swoon easily, but I suddenly felt dizzy, and the hairs at the base of my scalp prickled. The ogres were a constant trouble to peaceful Faleans. They attacked randomly and without provocation. Before King Erik's reign, people lived in constant terror of an attack, and though things were much safer now, people kept weapons easily at hand in case of unexpected trouble.
Now, Father would be traveling through the ogre-infested Astelands (the only part of Falea untouched by King Erik's rule; they're often referred to as No Man's Land because of the danger), and I wouldn't know anything for months to come. He would be unable to contact us at all, and I would live in constant fear of a letter bearing the royal seal.
I was unable to breathe for several moments. I simply stared at the page, the words all blurring together like one line of black. When I continued, my voice was so altered, I hardly recognized it.
By the time you receive this, I will long have been gone, so writing me will be pointless. I have arranged a nice place to you to stay for the celebrations, and everything you asked for will be sent to you as soon as possible. The final details will be seen to by the king's own steward, and I think you shall want for nothing.
I fear I must end this now. The king is eager for us to be on the road, and the horses are already nervous as is. It's as if they know where they are bound, or they simply smell the men's fear. Farewell until our next meeting, my loves.
Lovingly yours,
L. Angarden
His signature looked so strange there beneath the words that caused so much pain in my hear. I struggled to swallow, and the others moved back a bit, their heads bowed. They were, no doubt, regretting encouraging me to read it. I was glad, though, in a way. At least Mother and the girls wouldn't see the effect it had on me.
"I must take it to Mother." I whispered hoarsely around the lump blocking my windpipe. They mumbled assent, and I moved back into the house, folding the wretched letter.
Inside the house, all was silent. It was teatime. I walked slowly down the hall, running my fingers over the edge of the paper as if to convince myself it was real. I knocked on the sitting room door and received the command to enter. I moved slowly; now that I was this close, I found myself longing to be alone in my sorrow for another moment.
The door creaked on un-oiled hinges as it swung open. To my surprise, most of the furniture had been rearranged to suit the latest drawing room fashions. They looked startled at my entry, and Flora's expensive, porcelain teacup crashed to the ground.
"Father has sent word." The words met my ears before I realized I'd even spoken.
Overcoming her shock, Mother set her teacup on the work table beside her chair. "And what does he say?" She folding her hands primly in her voluminous lap.
I handed her the envelope without speaking. She took it, her eyebrows slightly raised, but she made no comment. Opening it, she quickly skimmed the page. To my surprise, she only grew a shade paler than usual and handed it quickly to Flora. For a moment, I thought I saw something like regret flash across her features, but it was a fleeting moment, and she masked her emotions quickly.
Flora blushed slightly and passed the letter to Adella and Annabella, moving to sit beside Mother. Adella was unimpressed by Flora's behavior. She snatched the letter, reading it quickly before tossing it aside. There was a cold smile on her lips.
"A place in court. Oh, yes, Mother." Flora breathed. Suddenly, she flung herself out of her seat, grasping Annabella and waltzing about the room. "This is it! It's finally here!" She bubbled exuberantly, forgetting that I was still in the room, a look of stunned shock on my face.
"Of course, my dear." Mother beamed at her favorite daughter. "Now, we shall have everything we ever wanted, and you shall want for nothing." There was a certain satisfaction in the way she spoke. Then her eyes flicked to me, and she cleared her throat. "Flora, please sit down. You father is still in grave danger. We must inform the bishop, so he can pray about the matter in church." Flora seemed to realize what Mother was saying and sank back into her seat, suddenly appearing horror-stricken.
"I am sorry, Mamma. Give me back the letter, Annabella. I want to read it again." Her sorrow was a farce. It wasn't true. She didn't care. I didn't understand why, but I knew that there was no sadness in her heart for Father.
The world around me seemed to spin madly, and I was still shaking when Flora leapt from her seat again, flying out of the room in a torrent of blubbers and sobs. She was faking.
"Don't just stand there." Mother cleared her throat, regarding me imperiously. "Have Greta bring up some lunch. I fear this news has made me quite ill and faint. We must all hold to each other in this dark hour." Her voice made me wish to empty my stomach all over her expensive carpets, but I merely nodded and retreated to the servants' quarters where I could try to forget what I had just witnessed in a sink of dirty dishes.
WOW. . .I can't believe it's the new year!!! Time has just slipped away from me. . .again. Happy New Year, everyone!! I hope 2018 is treating you as well as it has treated me so far! I do miss 2017 and all the fun I had in it, but I'm excited for what this year might have to offer.
What was your favorite part about 2017? What are you most looking forward to in 2018?