(A/N: You guys are really gonna hate me for this but I'm going for it anyways! Anyways, enjoy this chapter. I spent the whole evening until about 1 AM typing this up just for you guys! Also, please ignore that weird spacing, I'm not sure why it has decided to look like that.)
Kendra
May 25th, 1990
Six months passed me by before I could even blink and now it was May. Another year older and maybe another year wiser. I had buried myself into more film work to help my mind not to dwell on my problems, specifically Michael but nothing got past Colette. She was like a fairy godmother or something, popping up out of nowhere.
I got out of bed and made my way into the kitchen after taking a shower and brushing my teeth to see Colette contently sipping on a mug of warm tea, the aroma of the peppermint invaded my nostrils as I sat across from her at the table.
"Morning," I greet. There was no point in questioning how she got in my place without a key so accepting it was the best option. Colette slides me a plate of breakfast food, which I gladly take from her.
"Kendra, I think you know why I'm here," Colette gave me a knowing smirk. It almost hurt to admit that I did know why she was here. Like I said, nothing got past this woman. She was way worse than Mom in that regard.
"I don't want to talk about it," I slide down the chair, hoping if I melt into the floor that we can avoid this discussion. But since Colette is like my Mom, she is not going to let this go that easily. Once my bottom has successfully hit the floor, I lay flat against the cold marble floor, hoping she'll think I've passed out or something.
"Kendra, get your limp noodles up now," I blow a piece of my newly cut and dyed hair out of my eyes as I continue laying on the floor. Colette was not going to break my resolve of not moving from this spot.
"Yes, I am, now get up," Colette speaks as though she read my mind. Knowing the extent of this magic stuff, she probably did. Huffing and puffing like a child, I raise myself up from the floor and meet Colette in the living room. She kindly pats the spot next to her on the couch where I plop down like a sack of potatoes.
"Look, I know this is difficult for you," Colette offers a comforting hand on my shoulder. An empathetic smile on her lips. "It's really been weighing on you, sweet girl."
"That's why I came with an offer, a sort of last resort option, if you will."
"Last resort?"
"It's not something I would usually offer but I'll make an exception for you," My ears perked up and my curiosity piqued at her words. I had been neglecting the fact that I had literal magic on my side this whole time, so anything that Colette offered me had to be something that would help me get through anything.
"Go on," I urge.
"Do you know how your brain functions with memories?"
I shrugged, "I guess."
"Well, your mind creates neural links to memories you create and places them in your conscious mind. Good or bad, they're connected to your conscious mind and often that shapes your perception of something or someone."
"Was that the scientific or English explanation?" I questioned with a hint of skepticism, but still becoming more and more interested by the second.
"A mix of both, it's really complex and simple in other words." Colette explains. "Think of it like a pen and a notebook."
She proceeds to take one of my legal notepads, scribbling a nonsensical sentence.
"When you write a note down in ink, there's a split second where the ink hasn't dried yet-"she takes a finger and gently smears the ink against the paper. "See how it smudged? That's a memory or rather your perception of one. While the memory could have occurred one way, we all remember them in different ways."
I take a few minutes to process what she means. "So, what you're saying you have something or some sort of spell that would change my perception of my memories?"
"Yup."
"But shouldn't I work on getting over Michael on my own? If you change the memories I have of him, that's not working out my problem, or is it?"
"Oh, don't get your panties in a bunch," Colette replied, laughing to herself. "This isn't gonna change your memories of Michael, it only changes your perception of them. And here I thought you figured it out!"
"For example, if I change your perception on the night you met with Michael in October, I could make you believe that you perceived the meeting as nothing more than a peace offering and not him trying to win you back."
"With the way you're explaining this, I'd much rather you just change the memories because this process sounds complicated," I replied, my brain hurting from all this confusing talk.
"That's another way I could do it, like I said, memories have neural links to your conscious mind. I could disconnect them, leaving a select few memories in there."
I stayed quiet, truly thinking this over. Of course, all my memories over the span of Michael and I's relationship played out in my head. The silly, sad, and crazy moments we shared with one another, we were the genuine couple. At least, I thought we were. If only I could've fooled myself a little longer, I wish Michael could've had fooled himself a little longer as well. But I was stupid, just because I had come back to the past didn't mean I could just mess with or change people's lives to the way I wanted them to be.
In my original timeline, Michael took years to get over Diana and that hadn't changed but maybe I thought being with him like I was, would do something. But it only delayed the inevitable. So, as I came to this resolve, I looked to Colette with determination.
"Let's get started."
Michael
The same day
It had only been 9 days since Sammy passed and I didn't know how to feel. Even longer without Kendra, 209 days to be exact. All these things happening in my life couldn't be good for my health, but I kept pushing on, determined not to let myself turn into an emotional mess. Besides, I didn't have the time to do that. The funeral was the only time I didn't have to lock myself into the studio to work on new material, but I loathed every second that I had to face all those guests that not only were grieving Sammy but seemed to be sending looks of pity and sympathy my way.
I didn't need the pity and certainly not their insincere sympathy. Call me grumpy but I could tell that most of them did not really care to understand what was going on personally in my life. Despite my grumpiness, I held onto hope that Kendra would at least contact me at some point but Mother, Janet, and even Elizabeth were rapidly losing their faith in my belief.
"Michael, it's time you let this go, the girl has been through enough!"
"Michael, it's been months already. I think you have your answer."
"Michael, dear, maybe she's moved on."
All their voices rang in my ears, but I didn't want to accept them. Not yet. I need to keep waiting, no one ever got anywhere just by giving up.
Kendra
"Why was I so upset before?" I question Colette, raising from the chair and stretching my arms out to the heaven. For a split second, she wipes an imaginary bead of sweat from her forehead before quickly picking up a relieved smile. I felt so refreshed but at the same time confused but just brushed it off. It couldn't be anything too big, right?
"No reason, I'll see you later, okay?" Colette rushes out the door without another word. Just as I get comfortable in the silence of the living room, the front door bursts open which jolts me up from the couch. Sharon rushes in without Holly by her side and mauls into a bear hug which I accept.
"Ken, I've come to rescue you!"
"From what?" They had exceptional timing I must say. Although, come to think of it, I already knew they were coming today.
"From boredom, you've been cooped up in here too long," she drags me by the hand towards the front door. "We got so much to do and so little time."
I notice that Holly waits in her car, tapping her fingers to the beat of whatever song is playing in the car. But then I realize, I can't go anywhere without my purse, especially my ID or I'm screwed.
"Let me grab my purse first, okay?" I escape from Sharon's death grip on my hand, leading her to pout like a puppy dog. Before she can say another word, I run towards my bedroom to grab my small cross body bag. But, in my hurried commotion, all the contents fall out. In no rush, I slowly collect every single item that dropped but my eyes fall upon a polaroid that had been stashed in my purse.
It wasn't recent, considering I had much longer hair in the picture. That, and the fact that Michael had an arm around my shoulders at a party. I smile at the picture, but I'm not sure why I do. Maybe the nostalgia of seeing an old photo between close friends? Or something else? I wasn't sure what, so I just shrug it off and stash the photo back in my purse.
I dust myself off and quickly head back downstairs, hopping in the car with the girls to enjoy the day out with them.
*****
After spending a whole afternoon of doing relatively normal things (as normal as a celebrity can do without getting chased by paparazzi), we decided to end our night by heading to a bar where Holly knew we could blend in. Considering that school was almost out, just about every college student was invading this bar which made us inconspicuous just like Holly predicted. We all decide to sit at the bar instead of hiding in the corner booth.
Half these people were too drunk to even notice who we were. Which gave me time to look over the diverse crowd of students and adults alike, some were playing pool while others danced to the music that played over the loudspeakers of a jukebox. I couldn't help but bop my head to the music which just so happened to be Casanova by Levert.
The girls all ordered their drinks while I decided not to indulge in any alcohol. I still needed a clear head if I was going to be on set tomorrow. I notice that no one is hogging the jukebox in the corner anymore, so I make a beeline for it. I scan my eyes over the selections, keeping my eyes on the bar for the girls as they start having a party on their own without any music. I roll my eyes and snicker at them, finding the right tune and sticking some spare change in the slot. New Edition's You're Not My Kind of Girl fills the room, and everyone collectively begins to bop their heads.
Getting into the song, I dance my way back over to my bar stool. It doesn't take long for someone to approach us. It was a young college guy who obviously had too much to drink already. I could already tell how I needed to deal with this situation.
"Hello there, ladiessss," he greeted, the slur in his speech obvious as he failed to even lean against the bar without his elbow slipping out from under him. Sharon and Holly are quick to laugh him off, but considering they're not directly next to him, they had it much easier than I did. I could practically smell all the alcohol he had consumed on his breath and it wasn't pleasant.
"Isn't it past your bedtime?" I question politely, hoping he'd pick up on how uncomfortable I was.
"Oh come on, sweethearrttt, I know you want all thiss-"he proceeds to raise his shirt a little, trying to show off his nonexistent abs. I hold back a laugh and continue to be polite, "No, thank you."
"Oh c-come on, I know you want my young meat!" He attempts to plant a kiss on me, and I immediately shove him away from me as hard as I can. I can hear his friends laughing near the pool table and the curses fly from his lips. His friends begin to sling insults at me as I just sit there and take it. The three of us against a bunch of drunk college boys was one too many and I wasn't going to risk anything. Just when I think it's going to get worse, it doesn't. A deep voice interrupts the main boy.
"Hey, kid, shut it."
It comes from the man at the corner of the bar. Which immediately ropes the drunk kid's friends into the conversation.
"Why don't you mind your own and order another drink, man?" One of the friends' gesture towards his shot glass and I stay silent, as does everyone else at this scene occurring. I really don't want there to be any violence, so I try my best to get closer to the man before any trouble starts. The man rolls his eyes, looks towards me before unclasping a watch on his wrist, "Hold this for me, will ya?"
I utter a quiet agreement, holding onto his watch.
He downs his drink before meeting the college kids face to face. He towers over them, "I think the lady would like you to piss off, don't you think?"
He looks as though he is going to land a jaw-breaking punch but due to him being a little tipsy, he stumbles over onto another customer's table. Before he even has time to get ready to try to punch again, a man about the same height and build as him blocks the drunk kids off from him.
I don't hear the words exchanged but in the next moment, the other man has sucker punched him which sends straight to the ground. This leads just about everyone in the bar to collectively gasp and cringe at the same time, myself included. The man is out cold, and I'm here holding his watch. The next few minutes are a rush as me and a few others get this man outside the bar away from those idiots.
Holly and Sharon are freaking out, but both had very different reasons.
"Wow, he's really, really, really handsome, Kens," Holly points out as she hands me a cold rag that she grabbed from inside the bar. I almost want to slap Holly in the head for thinking like this after a situation like that. This wasn't how I was expecting the night to end up. I let out a groan of annoyance and pinch at the bridge of my nose. I could already feel a headache coming on.
"Kenny, don't you think you should press charges?" Sharon held reasonable concern.
"No, they were just a bunch of drunken idiots. Look, just go back inside and enjoy yourselves, alright?"
Both were hesitant to go back in without me, but I assured them. Besides, I was still holding onto this guy's watch and I had to at least make sure he woke up, so I could give it back to him. It takes him a few minutes to come to his senses, he rubs at his jaw before his eyes linger over to me. I don't know what to say really, I could've easily said something back there, but I didn't.
"I...uhmm...appreciate the effort that you put towards defending my honor," I silently offer him his watch back, which he gently takes from my hand. I quickly turn into Nurse Kendra and take the rag to him.
"Did I win?"
"No, but that effort was...how can I say it? It was fucking dreadful," I can't help the snicker that comes past my lips as I tend to his wounds. He joins in on the laughing, careful not to move too much as I pressed the rag to his skin.
"James," He puts out a free hand and I eyed it for a moment before joining my other hand with his in a handshake.
"Kendra."
"I know who you are." I raise an eyebrow at his response.
"Really? Well, it seems my reputation precedes me."
"My students never stop talking about you," he mentions.
"Students? You're a professor?"
"History at UCLA." I could see it, I mean, maybe it was the whole beard and or mutton chops thing he had going on, but he seemed like a professor.
"And you're getting plastered on a school night?" I question, a teasing tone that made him smirk and lift an eyebrow at me.
"It's almost the end of the term, cut me some slack."
"Fair point." There's a silence between us, it almost makes me believe that James has fallen asleep on me but then he rises from the rusted seat. A stupid, still slightly drunk smirk plays on his lips as he offers me a hand. I raise a confused eyebrow at the gesture.
"What's with the hand?"
"Can't I offer a pretty lady a dance?"
"There's no music," I laugh at his rather silly attempt to ask me to dance. I didn't know what it was but something about him made me comfortable and almost safe.
"There doesn't have to be music to dance," James places a hand on the small of my back, my hand meeting his shoulder, and both of our last free hands locked together.
As if on cue, the muffled music inside became just a tad bit louder. James's grip on me was soft and subtle as I let him lead as we danced on the sidewalk. I couldn't keep it together as we continued, laughing at the silliness of this situation.
If you don't know me by now
You will never never never know me
"Sorry for ruining your fun in there with your friends," James spoke, gesturing towards the bar.
All the things that we've been through
You should understand me like I understand you
Now girl I know the difference between right and wrong
I ain't gonna do nothing to break up our happy home
Oh don't get so excited when I come home a little late at night
Cause we only act like children when we argue fuss and fight
"Nonsense, this is five times more interesting than sitting at the bar all night." I smile, keeping in time with his steps. I try not to get too caught up in the words of the song as we dance together.
If you don't know me by now (If you don't know me)
You will never never never know me (No you won't)
If you don't know me by now
You will never never never know me
"You know, for someone as tipsy as you, you sure dance well," I tease him some more.
We've all got our own funny moods
I've got mine, woman you've got yours too
Just trust in me like I trust in you
As long as we've been together it should be so easy to do
Just get yourself together or we might as well say goodbye
What good is a love affair when you can't see eye to eye, oh
"Blame my mother," James responds. "Made me take dancing lessons until I was twelve."
If you don't know me by now (If you don't know me)
You will never never never know me (No you won't)
If you don't know me by now (You will never never never know me)
You will never never never know me (ooh)
"Well, I'll have to tell her I'm impressed," I smiled, and he did the same and I swore my insides melted. But, something kept bothering me at the back of my mind, but still I wasn't sure what.
I hoped I wasn't neglecting something important.