I was left wondering how I had gotten through the day when I finally made it home. The numbness I felt was incredible considering the circumstances, but something felt wrong about it. I felt like I should feel something. Anything. And I don't.
Caleb is disappointed that I haven't confided in him, having hope that I would on the ride home. He leaves the car with a slam of the door.
I groan and lean my forehead against the steering wheel. I'm so confused. I want to talk to him, I want to tell everyone everything, but there's a chance I'll be looked at differently if I do. Image isn't everything to me, but it's a big part of my life. I've spent most of my teenage years perfecting it, it's something I worked hard for. The determined, smart girl that everyone knows, though, may no longer be too smart.
Feeling compelled to avoid confrontation at all costs, I back out of the driveway and pursue along the snow covered street. It seems like a good idea, drive and think, but I thinking leads to emotions. And most of the time, those emotions lead to me crying. Something I loath and can't help.
I let my mind steer me in each and every direction. I don't even realize I'm parked outside of the Beets household, my car across the street, but close enough. Am I here for Eric or Jace? I couldn't tell you.
I admire the house, trying to think of all the good times Eric and I have had here, but thoughts of Jace and I invade those ones. The day on his bed, me on his lap, our lips fused together. I was so inexperienced - still am - but so consumed with him. I still remember the way his hands felt on me and the way his words sounded in the raspy quality I find so attractive.
A sob escapes my lips on a sudden notion, my head leaning against the seat. I feel so lost and helpless. So lost and confused that I don't know what to do with myself.
Why is it so hard for me to just forget about it? My life would be so much easier if I'd live my life the way it was before, subtract Eric, it would be simple.
Maybe this is like a mid life crisis twenty years early. It's hard for me to clearly understand why Jace betraying me hurts so bad. I mean, I haven't known him long enough to fall in love, but maybe I was on the right track.
Forget it, this was stupid. I'm stupid. The world is absolutely stupid and I'm stuck in the middle.
I go home, my tears drying on their own when I finally come to terms with the fact that life is not a fairytale. In real life, there is no Prince Charming and you don't live happily ever after with him. It's all a lie. Sick mistruths that fill your head with the knowledge that they'll never happen.
A bitter feeling fills me as I drive home, the sky dark yet light with the reflection of the snow to help.
I park my car and walk to the house, opening the door where the warmth envelopes me.
"Nina?" I hear my mothers worried voice. My father appears the next second behind her, both of them with concern on their face. Even Caleb joins a moment later. "Where have you been? We've been worried sick."
It's hard to place a care. "Sorry. I was out...doing some errands."
I sound vacant to the point that I find it hard to believe that it's my voice. I'm the one talking and yet it doesn't remotely seem so. Apparently I'm not the only one who spots the difference.
"Oh okay," my mother releases a breath, not completely sold. "You still could've called."
"I know," I swallow. "My bad, I completely forgot."
The trio doesn't say anything and I begin to feel awkward about that. I nod and jut my thumb in the direction of the stairs.
"I'm gonna go to bed," I tell them.
"You're not hungry?" My mom asks, the worry still evident.
"Not really," I tell the truth. The first one in a while.
"Come on, Nina," my dad intervenes. "Your mom made a beautiful meal-"
"No, it's fine," she attempts a smile and I try to feel like crap, but I'm sick of making myself feel a certain way. Damn me to hell for wanting to finally be free of that. "You must be tired, honey. Goodnight."
"Night," I lift a corner of my lips, but I'm sure it grows as more of a grimace.
I hear murmuring begin as soon as I make it to the landing and I roll my eyes. Secrets and whispers and lies. My whole life apparently.
I get ready for bed like I said I was going to and I do end up falling asleep. The problem with sleep is that I never get to escape my reality. Jace meets me in my dreams along with Eric and I'm put through events that I've already lived.
Nikki's POV.
"What the fuck was that?" Colten immediately questions, confusion and anger lacing his tone. "Nikki?"
"Caleb go to your room," I tell my youngest child, walking towards the kitchen. There's a pause before I hear his footsteps retreating up the stairs and Colten behind.
I go to the sink, eyeing the plate of food I laid out for Nina.
"Nikki, so help me god-"
"She's hurting, Colten," I snap, on defense of my daughter and her precious feelings.
He stares at me as if I'm not making sense in the slightest. "Okay, so it's okay that she didn't call to tell us where she was? Lord only knows what she was doing."
"I trust her," I mumble. Colten grabs my arm and turns my to face him, my lower back against the counter.
He wouldn't understand. It wasn't him who was hurting when I'd constantly be pushed aside by him. When he'd cause my pain.
I know my daughter, I know her intentions and I also know she's exactly like me emotionally. She doesn't know what to do with herself because she's blinded by all the wrong things happening.
"That's not the point," he exclaims. "This isn't like her-"
"Colten," I start as calmly as possible. "She just found out that her boyfriend - a boy she's known her entire life - had been cheating for who knows how long. Have some compassion. I'm surprised you aren't a little more angry at said boy."
I roll my eyes after that one and skirt around the kitchen to clean up the rest of the mess from dinner. My husband is dumbfounded at the moment.
"You're right," he clenches his jaw, stopping my path to the sink. "I'm sorry. I'm just paranoid and I don't know how to handle it. You know she was messing around with that...Jace kid right?"
I let out a breath I didn't know I was holding.
"He seems exactly like I was and I don't condone that shit with my daughter," He sternly tells me. Like I want my daughter with someone like him. I didn't want someone like him!
"Colten," l stop him. "I trust her. And you should too."
"Easier said than done," he mumbles. "If I find out she's sneaking off to see him, Nikki, you better bet-"
"Oh stop it," I hit him with an oven mitt to which he looks appalled at.
"Did you just hit me?" The look in his eyes is familiar.
"Cry over it." I giggle when his arms wrap around my waist, spinning me around.
Caleb's POV.
I open my window, grabbing onto the wooden structure of the ladder before shutting the glass and climbing down. I dart my eyes over to the familiar red Jeep Liberty and run towards it.
Hardin, the driver and best friend, greets me with a smile and slap to the head. I roll my eyes at him.
"Are you ready to get drunk?" He asks, the stupid smirk on his face.
"Shut up and drive," I instruct to where he screeches down the street. My anger is evident in my body still, but I'm able to keep it down for the time being.
I turn my neck to the back seat where Ensley is stationed.
"Hey, babe," she cheekily smiles and I try not to smirk.
"So little clothing, Ens," I tsk. "Your mother let you out dressed in nearly nothing?"
"You're a dick," she frowns, her bottom lip slightly pushed out. I look away.
Ensley is easily a best friend of mine. I've known her since third grade where she was a tom boy. After she shoved my face in the mud for calling her a girly girl, I immediately gained respect. Not to mention as she got older, she also got hotter which means I got more protective. She acts like she doesn't see all the looks guys give her, but I'm not dumb. A blind person could see it.
"She's trying to look nice for Jeremy," Hardin chuckles, mocking her. I furrow my eyes brows and look back only to see her blushing.
"Shut up, you prick," she snaps. "You act like you're not trying to get your dick wet. Amelia LeBron ring a bell?"
"Jeremy?" I question. "Really,
Ensley?"
This girl is going to throw me off my game. I can't watch her with Jeremy and look out for my sisters ex boyfriend. Though, I'll choose the latter as of now.
"I doubt he'll even pay attention anyway," she mumbles and picks at her fingernails.
Ill kill him if he so much as lays a finger on Ensley. She's far too good for him. The sleaze bag can't fucking keep his dick in his pants long enough to save his life. I get it, I sleep around too, but come on. Plus, Ensley's a virgin and I'll be damned if I let her lose her shit to that ass hat.
"Hold out for someone who can actually name the girl he's fucking," I growl and she rolls her eyes. "And watch the fucking attitude. You know I don't like that shit."
She sticks her tongue out at me and I nearly bolt back there and spank her fine ass for defying me. Any other day I probably would, but right now I have heavier matters to worry about. Eric Beets and his face meeting my fist.
He's about to receive a shock of a lifetime if he thinks he's just going to get off without his ass beat. I don't do that shit. My sister was completely in love with him and he has the nerve to take that and throw it in her face. I don't care what she says or what anyone says, she's hurting even if she doesn't know it.
And I'm going to make sure he pays because of it.
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Hey my little monkeys!! Long time no see and a hell of a lot going on ;) I'm just going to say this right now, I may or may not be thinking about a book for Ensley and Caleb? Would anyone be interested?
What do you think? Has what happened to Nina changed her? Are your surprised by Colten's reaction? What do you think about Caleb and Ensley's relationship? Are you glad Caleb is going to beat Eric's ass?
Don't be a silent reader!!
Enjoy. Love you all <3
Like and comment :)
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