"I'm not saying I hate men but what I am saying is all men ain't shit, wait that's a lie my grandpa is cool other than that men ain't shit." I arched my brow answering my dates question.
He smirked and I already knew what was coming "I'm an exception right?" I shook my head no "And why not?" he reached over the table caressing my hand and I let him.
"For started you have spent the last 30 minutes talking about you and not asking a single question about me and when you did it was turned back around to you, but I'm not in the mood to hurt anyone's feeling' so let's just finish eating our meal and we can go our separate ways." I pulled my hands from his taking out my sanitizer. The moment we met at the restaurant he just talked about himself. About his job, about his hobbies, about him him him. Whenever I tried to get a word in I would be interrupted so after the third interruption I just stopped talking and decided to just get through without a fight.
"Damn you kind of mean huh?" He smiled sitting back in his seat, nodding at the server as she dropped off our food.
I shrugged "Nope I'm just honest. Take it or leave it." I had met this man how most people my age met their dates online his conversation was eh but after a month or so I accepted his invitation for dinner, I was regretting it so much I should've trusted my gut.
"Well how about I be honest too. I would love to take you home. How about it?"
I shook my head "Nah you look like you might have bed bugs... I'm good." I took a bite of my chicken as his face twisted in anger.
"Wow, what crawled your ass and died?"
"Probably one of your bed bugs friends." I chuckled knowing this date was about to go from bad to worse. Sometimes I swear it was me but then I remembered I just put out the energy I'm given so it was definitely him.
"That's it you so disrespectful for someone who is paying for your meal. You could at least show some gratitude." He gruffed I raised my eyebrow at him I could see him cussing me out in his head.
"Oh thank you sir for buying me me this meal that cost 15.99 plus tax and extra thank you for allowing me to get a drink with that order. Let me get on my knees suck you off." I got up standing in front of him "Well come on pull your chair out so I can properly thank you." I put my hands on my hips.
He got up fast causing the chair to fall back "Bitch you crazy!" he walked away.
"Everything okay ma'am?" Our server came over looking scared out of her mind.
"Not really but it will be once I get home. Sorry about that here you go. Keep the change." I smiled handing her 60 dollars before leaving the restaurant. Another one bites the dust I thought driving away, I couldn't wait to get home and pull out my bong.
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"I promise I am trying to be good. Damn how am I the only friend without a partner? Like I don't think it's fair that y'all are getting good sex whenever and I'm not." I laughed letting the smoke roll off my tongue.
"Vae. Maybe if you were nicer." Anastasia sighed on the other side of the phone I knew she wasn't judging me just worried.
I sat up in my bed "Blah, blah, blah. Nicer my ass. You say nicer I say settle and the last thing I'm gonna do is settle for some man who can't even ask me what I do for a living. I'm good. I guess my ass will be forever alone. Now enough about me but not really what in the fuck am I supposed to wear to a country club?"
Anastasia chuckled "Whatever make you comfortable, actually scratch that just something simple. Now I gotta go and see if I can try and convince Sebastian to come with us tomorrow. I love you see you tomorrow."
"Left for dick once again. This must be my karma" I took my last hit saying goodbye to my best friend.
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Lunch at the county club was pretty good I mean minus the women who couldn't stop staring at us like we were clowns in the circus, but thankfully Giselle put them in their place before I had to. If I didn't grow up to be that woman when I was older I was suing.
"Alright crew let's get this show on the road." Anastasia cheered motioning us to the car frantically, she was five seconds from getting popped upside the head.
"Anastasia." I turned hearing a familiar voice and all I saw was red, I could feel Anastasia arms around me but I could help the smile that crossed my face.
"Oh fuck no! I told myself if I ever saw that bum ass nigga again I would lay his ass out, and it looks like today is my lucky day." Ole dude was smart enough to stop far away but pulling my body from Anastasia I walked up as he stepped back. I could hear Tyler agreeing with me but just barely as I got closer to the asshole who hurt my friend one to many times for my liking.
"Vae, Tyler not here please... please." I heard her beg but he had what I was about to do coming, right before I could snatch the bastard up I felt two hands grabbing my face; looking down my best friend's worried eyes bored into mine my rage coming down slightly.
Debating whether or not I should murder this fool on sight or not I groaned at my conclusion. "Fuck! Fine. You been touched by an angel boy! I swear I betta never see your ass again after this day." I walked back getting into the card still pissed as all hell a few second later Sia and Tyler joined me.
I looked over at Chandler punk ass my anger hitting me in waves "I say Sia you distract A and I'll go beat a niggas ass and- I swear on God if that bastard gets anywhere close to this car all bets are off I will fight that fool on sight!" I yelled out the window watching as he tried to get closer to Anastasia. I sat back in my sit with them out of view because knowing myself if I said anything else I would end up in prison for attempted homicide. It just seemed whenever Anastasia was doing good living her best life people alway without fail came into her life to try and bring her down, and I was sick of that shit. If any one of us deserved happiness it was that girl right there.
Once I was dropped off at my house I quickly took off my dress, and threw on my gym clothes I need to work out some of this funstration before I exploded. I was aware of my anger issues but I also knew the only reason I had these issues was because of other people always making me angry.
"That is what the doctor called for a good gym session and now to eat and look at some potential clients." I smiled to myself in the mirror getting out of the shower, the best part about living alone was walking around naked so I walked out to scope my kitchen for food as bare as the day I was born. "A hoe needs to go grocery shopping" I said out loud when I saw nothing appetizing, looks like I would be ordering Chinese tonight.
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"Mama, I am doing fine. I mean if you want to send me some money just because I won't refuse." I chuckled but it died when my mom started going on about how worried she was about me, aka the usual routine. She had always been worried about me growing up it was just the two of us, and I know although she was a strong woman when I moved out she was lonely and that loneliness manifested itself into worry.
"Mama, mama. I do take days off. I'm out here working so one day you and I can live in a mansion together and live our best lives. I can't come visit you this summer I'm booked." I said sadly, after Anastasia engagement party where I was introduced as the maid of honor and makeup artist a bunch of Gigi rich friends were emailing me asking if I could do some work for them, and most of my summer slots were completely full.
"Don't roll your eyes at me? Are you crazy? You always come out and visit and now you are changing it up?" She said calmly but seeing her face I knew if she could reach through my phone she would.
"I'm sorry. Please don't whoop my ass the next time you see me." Her eyes went wide and I knew I was definetely going to get my asswhooped.
I watched as she dramatically threw her phone down so all I could see was black but I could hear "Kuna ubaya gani mtoto wangu? Bwana mimi bora yangu na sasa yeye ameapa mbele yangu." as she went off in Swahili, my mom was born and raised in Kenya until she moved here for college she did plan on moving back once she was done, but it never happened.
I rolled my eyes one final time before giving in "Mama tafadhali, samahani!" I pleaded I rarely spoke Swahili and usually when I did it was because I was trying to avoid getting into trouble with my mother. "I'm sorry it just slipped."
"Just slipped? How does a whole word just slip in the presence of your mother?" She picked the phone back up still very calm, if there was one thing about my mother it was unlike me she was always calm. Even as a child she never raised her voice at me or yelled and screamed, it wasn't in her nature.
"Mama! I said I'm sorry." I gave her my best puppy dog face and I could see the gears turning in her head before she smiled.
"You will do my makeup the next time you come out here." I nodded the way she said it was with finality, she knew I hated doing her makeup because of how picky she was. "No lip." I pursued my mouth but nodded, she knew damn well I was gonna complain the whole time about her complaining.
"Then you are forgiven." After that the conversation just drifted off to random topics, we stayed on the phone for another couple hours before hanging up right before 11 pm. Talking to my mom always calmed me and put me in a better place for the week ahead, she was everything I wasn't and yet she never judged me for how I turned out; something I felt bad about.
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Y'all want a double upload tonight?
Hopefully I didn't butch Swahili too much if so I'll stop using it and just italicize .
Kuna ubaya gani mtoto wangu? Bwana mimi bora yangu na sasa yeye ameapa mbele yangu. - What is wrong my child? Lord I did my best and now she swears in front of me
Mama tafadhali, samahani! - Mother please, I'm sorry