For two more days my father and I hung out. We watched more about the adventures of Dean, Sam, and Cas, as well as spending a lot of time baking the Muggle way. Potion making sometimes had a tendency to give me a headache, and it does dreadful things to your hair, but baking was all the good aspects of potion making, without any of the bad parts. The house was soon filled with cookies, and brownies, and chocolate truffles, and cakes, and souffles, and scones, and muffins. Severus helped me put together a basket to bring over to the Weasley's when I went over. We also prepared a basket to bring to the Malfoys for their Christmas Party which was to be held tonight.
I dreaded the party every year. Severus and I never stayed the whole time, but the people that went just creeped me out. This year, however, I was nervous on top of that. I was sure Blake would have to go to the party, and I wasn't sure how that was going to go. Draco was also going to be at the party, so I could check up on him and make sure he was okay. The way he had looked when I saw him concerned me.
That evening I put on the red dress I had worn to Slughorn's party, the red one, and a pair of strappy black high heels. I pulled my hair up to a mess of curls before applying some makeup and heading downstairs. I grabbed Blake and Draco's presents and stuffed them in a bag before going to join my father downtiars.
Together we flooed to Malfoy Manor. We were let in by Narcissa who took the basket from my arms. As we walked in, I thought of how much darker this party got every year. A quick glance around let me know that Voldemort himself wasn't there. Everywhere I looked were people I knew were Death Eaters, along with their families.
I saw Blake in the back corner, and it seemed like he saw me then ducked into the other room. My shoulders dropped, that's not how I wanted this to go.
A familiar head of platinum hair came up alongside me, "Hello."
I turned to him and had to stop myself from shouting out. He looked positively horrible. The bags under his eyes had deepened, there was a new cut on the side of his face, that must've been magical if he couldn't just cover it up.
"Hey," I greeted, "How's your Christmas holiday been so far?"
He shrugged, "It's been about the same since I talked to you, I mean he hasn't gotten any worse, but it's still bad. It's good having everyone here though. And he has left for a few days, he said he had things to check on, so hopefully I'll be back at Hogwarts before he gets back. My parents are better at dealing with him than me."
I nodded, "For your sake, I do hope so. I'm glad he's not here too, now I can have a little more fun at this party. Do you know where Blake is? I think he's been avoiding me."
"Why?" Draco asked.
I was about to brush him off but instead I told him, "We kissed a few days ago. I'm not sure how he feels about it, or what he thinks I think so I think he's avoiding me."
Draco gasped, "You guys kissed really? Geez Jessica couldn't you guys have done this a year ago when it would be more obvious. Well is he right to worry; do you regret it?"
I shook my head, "No, not at all. I don't know if I want to date him or anything, but I could never regret kissing him. I didn't even get to tell him. I just want the two of us to talk, I don't want to lose my best friend over this."
If there was anyone I could talk to about Blake that would know him almost as well as I did, it would be Draco. I would want to talk to Ginny and Hermione once I got to the Burrow too, because I needed some girl's advice, but Draco was surprisingly easy to talk to.
He nodded in understanding, "I really don't think you're going to lose him, I can't imagine he'd let something like this ruin your whole friendship. If you guys can't talk today, or it doesn't go well, don't worry, I'll talk to him and make him stop being an idiot."
I smiled at Draco, "Thank you. I'm going to go talk to him now."
I slipped away from Draco and made my way across the room to the kitchen. I said my polite hellos to everyone I knew on my way there but I had no desire to talk to anyone at this party.
Blake was sipping a glass of amber colored liquid, his back to me when I walked into the room and approached him with weary eyes, "Blake, we need to talk."
When he turned around I raised my hand to my mouth. There was a giant welt on the side of his face. There was a poorly done glamor put on the bruise but nothing I couldn't see through with ease.
I reached out and ran my finger over it, "What happened Blake?"
He sighed and told me, "I got home early, which I wasn't supposed to do so my father got a little upset with me. It's really fine though, I'm going to be out of this house soon enough. I almost have enough money saved up to get an apartment for a few months, then I can live month to month from then. But that's not what you wanted to say, so out with it. Please just say it."
I looked up at him inquisitively, "What exactly do you think I'm going to say Blake?"
He scowled, "That you regret kissing me, and that you want to forget it ever happened, but you don't want it to ruin our friendship."
I sighed and told him softly, "Blake I don't regret anything. I can't tell you that I want to date you or anything, and I definitely don't want this to ruin our friendship but I could never regret kissing you, and I don't think it's healthy for us to try and forget about it either. I will if that's what you want to do, but I don't want to forget about it and go one as though nothing's happened."
He looked a little confused, and it was obvious this wasn't the response he had been expecting, "What about Neville though? It would be easier for the two of you if you completely forgot about the two of us."
"I don't care about what's easy," I told him honestly, "I'm not going to pretend like I didn't enjoy kissing you, or try to tell you I don't have feelings for you too. I have feelings for Neville too, and I'm honestly not sure what I want, but I know I don't want to just forget this never happened. It wouldn't be fair to you, or to us."
Blake took a deep breath, "Jess, I like you still. I know I told you I was over you, and that I just wanted to be friends but I've had things other than just friendship on my mind for almost a year now. I would never try to make you chose between the two of us, but I think you needed to know that I'm in. I could be that for you, and I could be that for you even during the war. And you know I wouldn't hurt you, and I wouldn't do anything that could put our friendship at risk. Being your best friend is still the most important thing in my life."
I smiled sweetly at him, 'That's the nicest thing you've ever told me. Our friendship means everything to me too. I don't know if dating is what's best for us, but no matter what we decide to do, I never want to end up losing you as a friend. I do care about you in ways that aren't very friendly though. I'm sorry I just don't know what I want. I can't be with Neville right now, but I don't know if that means I never want to be with him, and I don't want you to ever feel like you're a second choice."
"I would never think that. Whatever you chose is fine with me Jessica, I"ll support you and continue to be your friend either way, I promise. I'm glad you didn't tell me you wanted to ignore this, because I feel like it's been building for a while now."
I nodded, "I agree. There's definitely been something more than friendship here for a long while now. I could never want to ignore any chance I have to love you even more Blake, you know that. I would never want to try and forget about one of the greatest nights of my life."
This caused him to smile widely at me, "It was one of mine too."
"Good," I replied with a smirk, "That was the plan from the start; to have a good evening that we would remember forever."
"You can take all the time you need Jessica, I'm not going anywhere. Just let me know when you've decided, whatever that decision may be."
I hugged him, "Of course. I love you so much Blake."
"I love you too," he whispered in my ear before pulling away, "I never got to see you in this dress. You look absolutely ravenous if I may say so myself."
I blushed,a deep scarlett, "Thank you. I like your matching tie with Draco."
We joined the party with Draco and Severus who were talking in a corner. They seemed to be getting along better than they had the past few weeks, and I hoped I had something to do with that. If Draco was serious about wanting to do good, and help the three of us, then he had to start trusting Severus and letting him help him more.
Severus got pulled away by Lucius to talk to some colleague from the Ministry that I didn't recognize, so he must've not been a Death Eater.
I turned to Blake and Draco and produced two small gifts from thin air and presented them to each other them, "Happy Christmas guys, I hope you like it."
Blake opened his first. In his palm there was a small blanket.
He squinted at it and I laughed, "You can make it go back to full size. I just wanted it easy to give to you here."
"Engorgio," he muttered pointing his wand at the blanket.
When he held it up this time you could see pictures of Blake, me, Harry, Ron, Hermione, and a few of Draco. I had stolen the idea from a Muggle gift catalog I had seen but I enchanted the pictures so that they moved.
He looked down at it, studying every picture, "Jessica, this is so sweet, thank you so much."
Draco held up his gift and said, "Thank you, you didn't have to get me anything though, I wasn't expecting you to."
"We are friends," I told him, "Of course I was going to get you a gift."
He unwrapped his gift. He was even harder to shop for than Blake had been since he could buy anything he desired. I had taken a big risk with his gift as well, there was a chance he might loathe it. He pulled a peach colored band out of the wrapping and stared at it.
"Here," I told him as it became obvious he didn't know what it was, "You put it on your arm like this," i said pulling it up and over his Dark Mark, "And it had a very powerful glamor on it. No one would be able to see through this, and it'll just look like your skin is there. That was you can wear short sleeve during summer, and just generally not have to worry about it, and hopefully you won't have to think about it as much too. If you absolutely hate it, I can just throw it out, I made it myself-"
I was about to tell him that it was a stupid idea when he shocked me by hugging me and telling me, "I love it. This is the best gift I've ever received. Thank you jessica, you know how I don't want to be reminded of my mistakes."
I shrugged, "That's what I was hoping."
Draco pulled out a small box of his own and handed it to me, "Oh come on, you didn't really think I wouldn't get you anything did you?" he commented when he saw my expression, "It's from me and Blake actually, we got the idea when we saw you go dress shopping."
I carefully unwrapped the present to find a box. I took the lid off and gasped out loud. There was a gorgeous stone necklace inside. It was simple; just a ring of rhinestones to wear around my neck, and right above it a pair of matching earrings. It looked like it was crafted from silver and things that looked suspiciously like diamonds.
"I can't take this," I told him handing it out, "That must have cost you a fortune."
He waved my hand away, "Jessica, money is no issue. It was exactly what I could see you wearing with something that that dress you have on right now, and once I saw it, i knew I needed it get it for you. I made sure you'd like it with Blake, and then we went back and bought it. Think of it as a thank you for your understanding and help this summer, and your friendship."
I looked down at the beautiful necklace that was now mine and up at the two boys that had given it to me, "Thank you both so much. I'm so glad I have both of you in my life."
I gave each of them a hug then Blake told me, "Come on, you have to put the necklace on."
I turned around and gathered my hair in front of me then allowed him to clasp the necklace on around my neck. I positioned it correctly then turned back around. He had a smile on his face and I stood there gazing into his eyes for a few moments before I remembered Draco was there.
Once I got home and sat on my bed I realized that was one of the most enjoyable nights I had had in a long time, and to think it had been at the Malfoy's Christmas party. We had stayed nearly the whole time once Severus realized I was having a good time with Draco and Blake. It wasn't until it was very late, and nearly everyone else at the party was drunk that Severus decided it was time for us to take our leave. I thanked the powers that be that my mother hadn't been a the party. I haven't heard anything about her in a while and I hadn't seen her in a while but i knew she was out there in the world free, and working for Voldemort. I just wished I knew what her role in all this was, where she was, and what she was doing.
I tried to think about my feelings for Neville and Blake and what I wanted to do, but i couldn't decide anything and I was just getting angry and anxious so I stopped thinking about that. I took a few potions and allowed myself to go to sleep.