AS SOON AS Joshua and I made it out the door of the Cat Shack, my stomach clenched itself into a knot. Nausea overtook me. The ground spun beneath my feet, and my head pulsed in pain. I stumbled and collapsed onto my hands and knees in the damp grass.
"You've got to be fucking kidding me," Joshua muttered under his breath.
I gagged once, and then a vile brownish liquid-slurry powered up my esophagus and spewed out of my mouth.
Joshua walked a few paces away, giving me space while I continued to empty the contents of my stomach onto the thorn bushes outside the bar. When I finally had no liquid left in me to expel, I coughed and spat, trying to get the bitter taste out of my mouth. My head spun. A thin trail of brownish drool clung to my mouth, illuminated and glistening in the jaundiced, yellow light seeping out of the bar. I wiped it with the back of my hand, and then I rolled back on my heels, plopping my butt down onto the ground, unable to balance. My entire body shook as I panted, trying to catch my breath. In a gust the wind picked up and I shivered. Icy rain speckled my face and clothes.
Joshua finally approached me again. He gave me his hand and pulled me to my feet, and then he handed me a mint which I put in my mouth.
"Thanks," I mumbled. The cool mint helped get rid of the taste, but it was sickeningly sweet. My stomach turned again, but thankfully the tank was empty.
"Come on, Harper." He grabbed me by the arm, gazing down at me with a dark scowl. Rain dripped from his nose and chin. He tugged, leading me to his truck.
My pulse quickened and my vision blurred. I tried to shrug away, but his grip was firm. I stumbled along behind him, trying to keep my feet planted where they were but unable to do so without falling. My mind told me to scream out for help, but no words came out, like my lungs had been frozen.
Maybe he was taking me home. Maybe everything was fine. But something didn't sit right. What was he doing showing up at the bar in the middle of the night? Why had he said he was my uncle? My breaths came short and my mind spun, unable to concentrate.
We reached the truck and he dragged me to the passenger side. "Get in." He opened the door and shoved me towards it. Shaking, I climbed into the seat. I turned back to face him, but the door slammed shut. Wind roared outside, tearing at the frame of the truck.
Joshua walked around the front of the vehicle, his eyes never leaving me. I needed to get out, but my body felt like ice. Everything was rushing around me, but I was moving in slow motion. I reached for the handle of the door and fumbled with the lock as I glanced around the empty parking lot.
Suddenly, the driver's side door swung open, and I froze. Joshua got in. With a turn of a key, the engine rumbled to life. The wipers flipped on. My vision doubled as I stared out the windshield, the rain streaks making the lights from the bar explode like star bursts. Joshua switched on the headlights, and then he backed out of the parking lot, turning onto the road.
I tried to breathe. He had to be taking me home. That had to be it.
"Can you take me to Cornwall Drive?" I asked.
No response.
I stared out the passenger side window, watching droplets of water chase each other in streaks as the truck cruised down the street.
"It's a right here," I said when we reached the intersection with Cornwall.
Joshua didn't turn. He didn't even slow the car down. He just kept driving straight through the intersection.
My stomach dropped, and my heart pounded faster. The blood pulsing in my wrists and temples pressed against my skin heavily with each beat.
Joshua wasn't taking me home.
A million thoughts screamed in my head as the vision of Joshua's haunting gaze at the farmhouse flashed through my mind. I'd been kidnapped. Where was he taking me? Why was he taking me there? What was he going to do to me when we got there?
I imagined being locked in a dark basement somewhere, my foot chained to a rusty pipe. Beaten. Starved. Tortured. Murdered. My body turning up ten miles down a river somewhere in twelve different pieces, bloated, covered in mold and rot and unrecognizable. Fish chewing off my toes.
I froze. I glanced at Joshua out of the corner of my eye. He was focused on the dark road ahead of us, not even looking at me.
Maybe I could surprise him, knock him unconscious while he was driving and grab the wheel.
Too risky. I couldn't even see straight, let alone steer a car from the passenger's seat. We'd end up crashed in a ditch on the side of the road.
Maybe when he finally stopped the car I could jump out and make a run for it. I was pretty fast, but the ground wobbled and shook so much I wasn't sure I'd be able to make it more than a few yards without tripping and falling on my face.
Overpowering Joshua was out of the question. I wouldn't be able to take him in a physical fight even sober. Joshua looked like he had maybe sixty or seventy pounds on me at least.
I clenched my hands into tight fists and gritted my teeth. My head spun as blood pulsed through it. I drifted in and out of lucid thought. I couldn't come up with any other plan for what I would do. I felt like I was going to faint. I focused on keeping myself awake. I couldn't pass out. I'd be completely defenseless.
After what felt like ages, Joshua slowed the car down. With the rain and my blurred vision, I wasn't sure where we were for half a minute.
The farmhouse.
Joshua pulled the car into the dirt driveway. Lightning flashed outside, followed by a growl of thunder. Dogs barked in the distance, and rain pelted the car.
I placed my left hand on my seatbelt, my right hand inching towards the door, ready to make a dash for it if it came to it. I knew it was a long shot, but it was the only hope I had.
Joshua shut off the car engine, and the entire night went silent for a second. He turned and faced me.
"I saw you and your friend here earlier today." Joshua's dark eyes bore into mine. My mouth slacked open, but no words came out.
"Why were you following me?"
My mind faded in and out. I couldn't focus on what Joshua was saying. Things began to blur together.
I felt like I was falling.
"Harper." I heard Joshua address me. I snapped my eyes to him, trying as best as I could to focus.
"Why were you following me?"
"I don't know," I mumbled.
A long pause.
"Get out of my truck," Joshua finally said.
I didn't move.
"I said get out."
My fingers fumbled with the seat belt. Finally, I depressed the red button, and it released. I reached for the handle of the door. It swung open with a creak. As I stepped out, my right foot slipped on the side of the truck. I tumbled to the ground and landed on my hands and knees.
Pain coursed through my arms like tiny shards of glass. The ground was soaked. It seemed like a good place for a nap. I closed my eyes and let my arms sink into the mud.
"Get up."
There was a firm kick to my side, right against my ribs. Sharp pain pulsed through my body. I opened my eyes and looked up.
Joshua glared down at me. He bent over and grabbed me by both arms, right above my elbows, and yanked me to my feet. He examined my eyes, first my right, and then my left.
My eyes crossed as he looked at me. My vision doubled.
"You aren't going to remember a fucking thing, are you?"
I mumbled incoherently in response.
"Come on, I need you to help me with something."
• • •
Joshua and I stood behind his truck. There was something in the bed. It was big. It was covered in a tarp.
Lightning flashed. The tarp was blue.
Thunder rumbled in the distance. Dogs howled and cried. Clouds covered the sky.
The tarp billowed in the wind.
• • •
The tarp lay folded up haphazardly on the ground next to me. The wind roared, threatening to carry it away like a blue-canvas sail on the sea. I stepped on it with my foot. It whined and bucked, trying to escape. I imagined that it was a cape.
"Harper!"
Joshua was in the bed of the truck. There was a crate next to him. The crate was larger than me. It reached up to Joshua's shoulder and was nearly twice as long. It was three feet wide.
Joshua spat and blinked his eyes repeatedly as icy rain showered us. "Help me get this down."
• • •
My hands slipped and the crate dropped an inch before I caught it again. Splintered wood sliced into my palms, but I couldn't feel it. My entire body was numb.
"Don't fucking drop it, Harper!"
There was another bolt of lightning and a crack of thunder. Deep red stained the wood in thin streaks where my hands had slipped. I ignored it. I gained a better grasp, pressing my palms into the wood. I strained to lift the heavy weight.
We kept moving.
• • •
Rain pelted the tin roof above. We were inside, but the wood was still slippery.
I went down stairs. One step after another. Each step felt like an eternity. The smell of earth and dust and mildew filed the space like a fog.
"Do you have it?"
The crate bumped down the steps. i blinked, trying to get my eyes to adjust to the dim light. The smell of damp rot and mildew grew stronger with each step, suffocating me. I felt like I was going to throw up. My head spun, and I shut my eyes and saw deep red. I stopped where I stood. I wanted to disappear. I wanted to sleep.
"Get a grip!" a voice shouted. I thought I recognized the voice, but I couldn't place it. "If you let go, this is going down on top of you."
My mind pulsed in and out of consciousness. I imagined I was climbing a ladder. I imagined clouds. I imagined flying, soaring, a great wind carrying me away like the last leaf on a tree when autumn turns to winter.
"Harper!"
I opened my eyes and stared in front of myself, trying to focus. In the distance, dogs cried. The roar of the wind combined with their voices in a sickening howl.
"Don't let go!"
I didn't let go. I pressed my hands against the crate, and I continued down the stairs.
• • •
The seat of the truck was wet. Heavy rain echoed off the roof like gunfire. Wind whistled through the tiny cracks where the seals of the windows didn't quite fit.
"Don't follow me again."
I nodded.
"Stay out of this."
I nodded.
I opened the door of the truck and stumbled out. My clothes were covered in mud. I was soaking wet. My arms and my back ached. My jeans stuck to my legs, and my sweater clung to my body like a glove. It was torn at the wrists and shredded. My hands were bloody. I was freezing.
The truck's engine roared to life, and it splashed through a puddle, splattering me with cold, muddy water. I watched as it sped away out of sight.
I didn't know where I was.