Well it’s only the first week of summer and not much has happened, besides showing off in the dress I bought. I think it worked, but I’m not really sure. I didn't get exactly the reaction I wanted from him specifically but the other guys in his class did do a double take, which was a good pride stroking for me. I think I’ll look up online some hairstyles I want. Punk Rock Hair Styles. It's a workable style; I can go messy, curly, straight whatever! Maybe even add some colour.
I found one that has the right cut, but the colour of the hair is dark and way more layered than I would ever want it. Also the girl in the picture has dark punk makeup on, which totally clashes with what I look like; clean, no makeup, and light blonde waist length hair. Well, this should be interesting an interesting change, but that's exactly what I want. Change.
I'm meeting some friends today to clean out the music room at our high school so I'll see what they think about the haircut then.
Later
So I'm off walking to meet one of my best friends Mackenzie. We met in grade 9 and somehow kept our friendship going despite some arguments and the fact that we really don't see eye to eye on a lot of issues. I guess that's what’s kept us close, we get to argue with each other. We're going back to our high school to help our music teacher clean up the room. It's something the music kids do at the end of every year, we go to the room after exams are done and we file music, clean instruments and just kind of hang out. This is the last year we get to do it though because we've graduated and our music teacher, Mr. Helm, is retiring.
He was one of those teachers that everybody loves. Even if you weren't in his music class you knew about him. He was more than just a music teacher though, he taught us life skills and I'm pretty sure I'm not the only life he's saved. By saved I mean that he made me believe that I could do better and not just settle with doing all right. I don't think he ever gave me a break and he always said "There's no rest for the stupid". Not only that, he was just good to talk to about pretty much anything.
Band and music class was the thing I clung to during high school. It was that one thing that I had to do every year, even if it killed me, and some years it almost did. The band became my family, especially last year. They were my one big family of 60 or so music loving nut-jobs. I literally joined every band I could: the wind ensemble, flute ensemble and jazz, (I had to learn saxophone for that one) I even did choir. It was loads of fun and gave me something to do and something I could be apart of. It was that one thing that I could, with out a doubt, do.
Today is the last day any of us get to see him as a teacher. We've known he was going to retire at the end of this year for a while; it's still hard to think about. It's the end of a lot of things for us this year. The end of high school, a lot of people moving away, my friends are trying to keep their relationships going while everyone moves away to go to school. It all kind of added up. Plus the end of our music teacher’s career was just one more reality check.
When I caught up to Mac I showed her the picture of the hair cut I want. She likes it, which is good because she may not know it but her opinion means a lot to me. She’s not going to say it but I know she’s thinking it has something to do with Thomas. Well it doesn’t. Maybe a little, but that’s not the point. Never mind I can explain him later...or never...don't really want to talk about it.
So we got to the school, into the music room, I plugged in some jams and we got to work. Jane and Carter, other band members, were there helping out too. Mac, Jane and I organized the music and the folders from band and Carter cleaned the Tuba's since that's his instrument.
We finished organizing music after Carter came to help. After we just hung out for a bit listening to music on Helm's killer sound system that he has set up in the room. We snapped a couple pictures of Mac standing next to a tuba...they're kind of the same size! She's a pint sized furry though so I wouldn't mess with her. Zoe and Kyle decided to pop in right at the end. Then Robbie showed up for a second to give Helm a Big Bang Theory poster. Carter took off because everything is done, even though it took him a bit to say goodbye to Helm. We, being Zoe, Kyle, Jane, Mac and I decided we were going to go out for lunch and just chill together. When we started to leave Helm said “See you later…oh wait.” We all stopped. I'm sure we were all at the point of tears.
“Commencement. We will see you at Commencement.”
I don’t know who said it but I was thankful. We all walked out quickly before anyone else can start to actually cry.
Note to self: My friends and I should not go grocery shopping together. Especially since one is particular about the food she buys. Zoe got a text from her mother saying that she needed to go out and get chicken, wraps and stuff to go in the wraps for dinner, so to Zehrs we went. Zoe, however is very particular about the food she buys so splitting up was not an option. She had to look at everything she was going to buy to make sure it was the right kind. I only felt bad for Kyle, he was the only guy and he was getting dragged around a grocery store with 4 girls as crazy as us.
We finally finish, after trying to split up and take pictures of the food to send to Zoe to see if it was the right kind, which didn't work. Since it was in the area we went to Wendy's for lunch. I showed them the picture of the haircut I want. I got some objections, probably because the girl in the picture looks a little scary. I tried to get them to see just the haircut and not the punk/goth/screamo girl sporting it. It was discussed but I think they could tell that I was already set on that cut and asking them was just a formality.
“This isn’t because of Thomas is it?” I knew everyone was thinking it. Kyle would be the one to actually voice it though.
I'm sure the look on my face gave it away. I don’t get over people all that well okay. I tried but this one was really hurting. I don't know what it was about him. i just couldn't stop thinking about it. I don't think I've ever been shut down like that. I guess it hurt a lot because everybody else thought that it was going to happen, it wasn’t just me this time. Guess Thomas didn’t get the memo that everyone was gunning for us.
They all give me a look. Jane’s was sympathy mixed with her trying to understand. The rest were a mix of disappointment and pity. I closed my eyes preparing to answer the question. Lying was out of the question since I'm a terrible liar and these are my best friends and they know me too well. When I opened my eyes the looks were gone and everyone started eating and the conversation moved on. I guess they either knew what the answer was or they didn't want to hear about it right then.
The conversation did move on: to when I was getting my haircut. Half and hour later I was sitting in the hairdressers chair showing off the cut I wanted. That's right I got it cut right then and there, having only decided that morning. It was pretty nerve racking but change is what I wanted so change is what I was getting.
I remember the first cut of the scissors. That sound that they make is unmistakable.
And they just kept going. And going. I loved it. I got more and more excited as my hair got shorter and crazier. While I was having the best time in the chair, Jane was snapping pics and weeping over the loss of my long locks. It was pretty funny. Mac was cheering me on, loving it just as much as I was. Zoe and Kyle were playing some game on his iPhone.
When it was all over, she straightened and styled it and it looked awesome! It still looks awesome some hours later. I don't have my long, straight-across-the-back blonde hair. Now it's choppy and crazy and totally me. All previous objections turned into compliments.
All us girls are sat on the curb outside the hairdressers Waiting for Kyle, who was on the phone with his parents. Since he was our ride, we had to wait, which was totally fine 'cause I had fun tossing my hair back and forth and running my fingers through it.
And then Mac got a crazy idea “Hey you know what we should do?” she looked at me like she’s just discovered a new species. “We should do your makeup like the girl in the photo and dress you up, do your hair then take a picture and send it to Thomas to show him what he’s missing!”
Actually now that I think about it that’s a good idea, a little jealousy would be good for him, and a little revenge would be good for me. At the time though, I protested a little, not really wanting to talk about him. I certainly didn't want to talk TO him. But now...I think it could be done. If I wear all black or even a shirt from one of the bands he likes.
“We could totally be like ‘Suck it asshole, you lost this!’“ Zoe is totally in on this. She loved the idea of getting back at him for what he did to me. Zoe is able to hold a grudge past death. Almost to a fault.
I’m the total opposite; I can give an infinite number of 2nd chances. It’s kind of a fault of mine. I forgive people even if they don’t deserve it. But that’s just who I am; I forgive people and I care about other people’s problems. I also don’t like people taking on my problems. I like to deal with stuff myself, so like when Mac and Zoe wanted to beat Thomas to a pulp I wouldn’t let them, because I didn’t want them to hurt him and deep down I felt that if anyone was going to get to punch him in the face it should be me.
So revenge?