Present Time
"What the hell was that on the dance floor?" Ian asked me. We were standing outside with Anthony in the car and I had my arms crossed still. I knew I was caught out on the dance floor and I was ashamed of it. "Do you know you could've been caught?"
"Apparently, I already have been," I said. He just shook his head and I groaned. "Ian, I made a mistake! What more do you want me to say?"
"Veronica, I understand what you two are going through, but you had no right to just dance with another guy on the dance floor. Especially if the guy is someone Anthony works with."
"Ian, I'm not perfect, okay?" I said. "I was upset over the fact Anthony and I aren't as happy as we use to be and this was my way of letting go. It was wrong of me to do this and I'm sorry. Nobody else saw this, right?"
"Not that I'm aware of," he told me. "And I'm sure as hell not going to say anything because that'll bite me on the ass later on." I slightly nodded and looked down at the ground. "Come on. Let's get him home and into bed."
He turned away from me and walked over to the drivers side while I got into the passenger seat. I looked out the window to see Shayne standing outside. I slightly waved to him and looked down at the floor. I was really disappointed in myself. I've never done something like that in any relationship I have been in. What was it about Shayne Topp that made me like this?
And why all of a sudden now?
Ian pulled off and we started driving back to my house. Maybe Shayne and I are like this now only because of my problems with Anthony. Maybe it's because I'm not as happy anymore and Shayne is trying to help me out. Or me and Shayne are too scared to actually admit how we really feel and we hide it by doing this.
There's so many possibilities and I didn't know what to think.
Ian turned down his radio and glanced at me while I looked at the time. It was almost midnight. Shayne and I were dancing for that long? How long was I really away from Anthony? "You two going to be okay?" Ian asked.
"Yeah," I replied. "Usually when he does this, I just lay him in bed and put a bucket next to him." Ian nodded and kept looking at the road. "I'm sorry if I ruined tonight."
"You didn't," he stated. "It was kind of boring."
"How did that happen?" I asked as I pointed at Anthony.
"Boze was trying to stop Tristan from taking shots from Joven and one of the shots got passed down to Anthony," Ian said. "Anthony had only taken one shot when I had last saw him and all of a sudden, Boze comes up to me with a very drunk Tristan and tells me that I need to take Anthony home."
"Fuck, I hope Tristan gets home okay," I said.
"I believe Boze was taking him home," he pointed out. Well Tristan's wildest dream came true and he is going to be too drunk to remember it. "Lasercorn left after the first hour since he was wanted to get home to his son where Joven wanted to keep the party going." I shook my head. "Will you be okay?"
"I'll be fine," I stated. "I just hate when he drinks like that."
"Is that why you did what you did?" Ian asked me. I looked back at Anthony who was unconscious. I leaned my head back on the seat and just looked at Ian. "It's just a question, V."
"I don't know what to do, Ian," I said to him. "My head is telling me to stay with Anthony and that it's the right decision."
"But your heart?"
I sighed. "It's telling me to let go," I said.
"So why are you holding on?"
"For you," I said. "For Courtney, for Olivia, for Mari, for Noah, for literally everyone. Everyone single one of you mean so much to me and everyone single one of you expect Anthony and I to be together forever. I keep living that life because it's expected. And I live that life to keep Anthony happy."
"Veronica..."
"I'm afraid of losing you guys," I continued on. "I'm afraid ending it will cause a whole thing at work where Anthony and I will be cool for the first week, but he will want to try to work stuff out and when I push the idea away, we will start to argue. You know the whole Kalel story, Ian. You know he wanted to work stuff out with her and she said no so what does he do? Blocks her from everything just to get over her."
"But V..."
"I know I'm not like Kalel, Ian, but Anthony has an attachment to me that I didn't realize was getting stronger everyday. He is clueless to how unhappy I've been these few months and I just don't have the heart to tell him."
"You kind of did earlier today," he said.
I slightly shrugged. "He chose me over, Miel, Ian. He thought I would've been a better girlfriend than Miel, but I guess he was wrong and leaving him would prove that was true."
Ian sighed and pulled into out driveway. I looked back to see Anthony slowly moving around and groaning. "Do you need help bringing him in?" Ian asked. We took our seatbelts off and got out of the car.
"No, but you can help me get him out of your car," I suggested. He nodded and I opened the door. Ian helped Anthony up and slowly pulled him out of the car. When Anthony got out, he wrapped his arm around Ian and I grinned at him. "And this is why everyone ships you two."
"Oh shut up," he said with his little chuckle. He handed Anthony over to me and Anthony leaned his body on me. I placed my hand on his chest and my arm around his back. "No matter what, you have been a great girlfriend to him, but great things do come to an end at some point and it's not a bad thing. It's life and it happens, V."
I nodded. "Thanks, Ian," I said to him. He nodded and walked back to his car. "Come on, Ant. Let's get you into bed." He groaned and I could hear him start to heave. "Anthony, please wait until we get into the house. I'm trying not to leave throw up in our yard again." But that didn't work. He did something that I hated every bit of. He threw up on me and I just stood there in disgust. It was on my bare skin since the shirt has holes in it. "Fuck me."
"I'm sor-sorry, Veronica," he slurred out. I didn't even respond back to him. I leaned him up on the house while I unlocked the front door. "V, don't be mad. I-I..." I opened the door and grabbed him once again. He leaned his body on me again and I walked him into our house. I managed to shut the front door behind me while Anthony stumbled in. "Where are we?"
"Home, Anthony," I said to him. I walked him towards our bedroom and he was just looking at all of our photos in the hallway. Drunk Anthony could be so weird sometimes just by being mesmerized by everything and wanting to dance around. We walked into our bedroom and he fell into the bed.
I go to walk away to grab the bucket, but he grabbed my arm. "Babe," he said. I quietly groaned and looked at him. "I'm sorry."
"It's fine, Anthony," I said to him. He let go of my arm and laid his head back into the pillow. I walked out of the room and went into our bathroom to get the bucket. It was underneath the sink cabinet because I got tired of going to the kitchen to get it. I grabbed it and walked back into our room and put it next to him.
He sat up and I took his jacket off. I slowly took his shirt off and he put his hands on my waist. "Not tonight, Ant," I said to him. "You're too drunk and plus, I have your throw up on me." He groaned and let go of my hips; he laid back on the bed and groaned once again. I took his shoes off and then took his jeans off. He kept making looks at me since he wanted to have sex, but I wasn't budging.
I left them laying on the floor and he laid in bed. "I love you, Veronica," he said to me. I looked at him and just looked at his drunken smile. He still meant it even when he was drunk, but as sober as I was, I knew when I say it, I wouldn't mean it. But the way he was looking at me, as blood shot his eyes were, he was still looking at me the way he did when he first told me he loved me.
I'm a terrible person..
I went back to him and kneeled down on the floor. I put my hand on his cheek and wiped the throw up on the corner of his mouth with my thumb. "I love you too, Anthony," I said. He smiled and slowly closed his eyes. I sat up and walked to my bathroom. I groaned when I looked at myself in the mirror to see the puke on me.
I took the shirt off and sat it on the sink. I knew it was no good anymore and I know I wasn't gonna feel like cleaning it tonight so it's just better off to throw it away. Knowing Boze and I, we would go to the mall soon and buy shirts like that. I started running the shower and taking off my clothes. I couldn't wear a lot of this stuff since Anthony's throw up made its way down my body and it just made me gag to even look at it.
Luckily, Anthony didn't throw up on my hair so I pulled my hair up in a bun to not get it wet in the shower. I got into the shower, and instantly grabbed my loofah and body wash. I let the water run down my body to get the chunks of Anthony's throw up off of me and then started scrubbing every part of my body.
I felt dirty after tonight. Not only from Anthony's puke, but from what Shayne and I did in the middle of the dance floor. It was completely wrong and I won't forgive myself for it. Anthony trusts me too much and I betrayed him. He lets me be best friends with Tristan and hang out with him whenever I want, and he didn't have too. I knew I was a terrible girlfriend.
I could've stopped what Shayne and I were doing, and Shayne could've too.
I got out of the shower and grabbed my towel from the towel rack. I dried my body off and walked out of the bathroom to my room. Anthony's mouth was wide open and he was asleep. I giggled and shook my head. I dropped the towel for a second and opened the drawer to grab a tee. I slipped the tee on and opened the other drawer to grabbed my undies, slipping into those.
I grabbed my towel and went back into the bathroom to grab the clothes from the sink. I wasn't letting his throw up stink up my bathroom so I walked out to put them in the washer. I guess I'll try to wash all of this and see how it is. I walked into the laundry room and threw them into the washer and putting a tide pod into the washer.
I shut the washer door and walked out of the laundry room. When I went back into my room, I heard my phone going off on my nightstand. I don't remember ever putting it on there, but all that matter was that it wasn't waking Anthony up. Who would be calling me this late at night? Boze should be home asleep now, Tristan is completely trashed, and Ian should now just be getting home. Who else would be calling me?
Shayne.
I answered his call. "Hey," I slowly said. I started walking out of the bedroom just in case Anthony did wake up.
"Hey," he said back to me. "How's Anthony?"
"Right now he is asleep," I replied. "But earlier, he was knocked out in the backseat of Ian's car and then throws up on me when we were walking to our house."
"Oh, that's rough," he said to me.
"Yeah, well, I'm the one who deals with it," I said, looking out my living room window.
"I wanna talk about what happened tonight, V," Shayne stated. I leaned my head on the window and waited for what he had to say. "I'm not apologizing for what I did. I've been holding back for so long, Ronnie and I was only doing it because of you and Anthony. But to know you two are going through something, I don't know, it just seemed okay too."
"Shayne..."
"No one is going to know what happened tonight because I'm not going to say anything," he told me. "But with what happened tonight, I wanted it to open your eyes so you can see what I saw. You looked at me a lot differently, Veronica. You looked at me at a way I've always wanted you to look at me and it kills me to know that you're still forcing yourself to be with Anthony."
I took a deep breath and let it out with a tear falling down my cheek.
"I'll hold back like I normally do, but just know that it's okay to let go sometimes, Veronica. You can't make everyone happy just because they want you too. You have to be happy too," he said to me. "Goodnight, V." He hung the phone up and I looked at my phone. Was he right?
The Next Morning...
"Good morning sunshine!" I yelled out to Anthony. He jumped up from his sleep and looked at me. He put his hand on his head and groaned. "Someone got a headache this morning?" He groaned again and I walked over to him with his coffee in my hands. I sat on the edge of the bed and handed him his coffee when he sat up. He instantly took it.
"Thanks, V," he mumbled out. He took a sip of his coffee and looked at the top of my head. "I didn't realize we were sharing beanies now." I chuckled and put my hand on him. "Was I trying to have sex with you last night?"
"Yep, and you had threw up on me five minutes before that," I said to him. He put his hand on his face and chuckled.
"I'm so sorry, V," he said to me. He sat the coffee down on the night stand and sat up a bit more on the bed. "I hate drinking like that and I hate to know that I threw up on you."
"Ant, it's fine," I said to him. I put my hands on his neck and smiled at him. "I took a shower last night and washed my clothes this morning to get the smell off of me. Just please don't do it again." He laughed and gave me a kiss. "How did you sleep?"
"Awful," he said. I took my hands off of him and interlocked my fingers with his. "I actually had a dream last night about us at the club." I raised my eyebrow at him. "I couldn't find you. I was at the bar and when I turned my head, you were dancing with some guy." My expression went blank and I could feel my hand starting to sweat. "I couldn't tell who the guy was, but you were dancing with him and it angered me so I started drinking." I bit my lip and he started chuckling. "Weird, huh?"
"Y-Yeah," I stuttered out. He kissed my hand and looked at me with a smile.
"I know this is weird to point out, but we have been dating for two years now and I've never seen your hair in braids before," he said. I chuckled and slightly shrugged. "I don't know what I'd do without you, Veronica. After knowing what you did for me last night, I'm a lucky guy." My heart sank down when he said that and I looked at him. He kissed me again, and that spark was still missing from it.