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Write, crumple and toss it on the ground. I haven't written a single word. This is so annoying! I can't find the right words, I'm tired and my brain had grown mushy.
I leaned on the tree's trunk and pulled my legs up. I rested my pen and papers on the grassy ground and hugged my legs while burying my face between my knees.
"I don't know what to write." I murmured.
I rested my head on the Tree's trunk and closed my eyes. I rubbed my temples in a circular motion using my two hands' index finger and middle finger. I can feel my eyebrows crunched and my veins slightly bulging. This is so hopeless. I don't know what to write. About love? Friendship? Death? Emotions? Fun? What? I don't even know what I'm feeling right now. I nibbled on my lower lip as my brain worked on the words.
Word. ??????????????????????????????????????????
Nothing's coming.
I was too messed up that I didn't even feel someone else's presence coming my way. I felt a hand rested on top of my head and its thumb trying to loosen my woven eyebrows. I felt myself loosen up. I opened my eyes and looked up.
"Mikaze-senpai?"
"Having troubles?" He asked. After all what happened, his unruffled facial expression never loses its touch.
"Yeah. I don't know what to right." I simply answered. He examined my paper trashed surroundings.
"Even I can't work with all these trash surrounding me."
I already knew what he meant. I stood out of my lazy zone and started picking every crumpled paper on the ground. He helped me as well.
Mikaze helped Yuki. Yuki picked every bits of crumpled paper near the creek while he picks near the tree. He noticed a crumpled paper between the tree's root gaps. He sighed- thinking on how irresponsible his student is. He pulled it out and noticed that it was different from the other trashes. Due to the paper's irregular folds, some of its words can be visibly read. He unexpectedly read his name written on it. He looked at Yuki. Curiosity stroke him and thought that it's better not to ask her. He inserted the piece of paper inside his hoody's pocket.
We finished cleaning up my trash and sat under the tree's shade. I felt a tad bit embarrassed- making Mikaze help me clean my mess.
"Have you thought of what theme you'll apply on your song?" He started. I shook my head from side to side. Well it's true, I have no idea. He blinked at me. The cool morning breeze passed by making his loosed hair wave with the motion. He thought while my mind played unnecessary thoughts. I'm currently imagining his brain analyzing like the way computers do: full of wires and a mother-board. That totally changed my perspective of him. All hail my discovery! I'm perfectly aware that he's an android.
I don't know if that's a good thing or a bad thing, but it lessens the pain so probably... it's a good thing.
"Can you please inform me about the song you sang on your debut?" He politely asked.
"You mean? The last song required for us to graduate at Saotome Academy?"
"Yes." He looked at me seriously.
"It was about friendship. It's like a thank you song for Shiori."
"I see. What are you thinking or better to say feeling while writing the lyrics of your song?"
"I'm thinking about Shiori, and how of all the years she was with me and never got tired of supporting me." I started explaining. "On how we first met when we were still young." Thinking about it... "How our friendship grew." I know what's wrong with me. "How she never let me go even through hard times, she remained beside me and supported me all throughout everything. She dreamt of becoming a composer and I was a tad bit envious because she has a dream and I have none. She also triggered my sleeping talent deep inside me- that is singing. Together we dreamt of entering Saotome Academy and graduating together. That wasn't so easy though. There were times that I almost gave up; but Shiori never gave up on me. She held on to me even though she knew that we were practically holding on to a thin piece of thread. " I know what's missing. "I wouldn't be here if it wasn't for her. I owe everything to her. She, as I considered it, my inspiration." I'm lacking inspiration.
"You've probably realized it by now." He uttered after listening to my explanation. Yes, I did, but where will I get an inspiration now? It took seven years for me to find one- to find Shiori. But put that a side, I'm a bit curious on how Mikaze creates his songs. No need to mention that composers or lyric writers always have feelings by their side when writing songs.
"Mikaze-senpai, if it's not too much to ask. How can you create your own lyrics when... you know...? Can you feel?" I asked him- a bit cautious on the words I use.
"The lyrics I write are already programmed in me but the answer to your later question is I don't know." He simply answered with a straight and serious face. Does that mean, he sometimes wonder whether he feels or not? Isn't that hard? You don't have any idea if you feel or not? Or rather, you're already feeling something but you're not aware of it? I don't know if this is right but... I feel a tad bit of sympathy towards Mikaze.
I looked down. I really don't know what to say.
"I have a lot of pending songs, but I'm still thinking whether to release it or just let it go to waste." My gaze suddenly shifted to meet his, but to my dismay he wasn't looking at me. Instead, his eyes were locked on the sparkling blue water of the flowing creek in front of us.
"Reiji-kun informed me about you knowing the story behind my creation." He continued after a long pause. I blushed, realizing that: if Reiji told him that he told me the story of Mikaze, does that mean he also told Mikaze about my own thoughts? Right now, it's like I want to hide my face inside a paper bag while talking to Mikaze.
I looked down as a sly and pretentious smile crept its way on my lips. I know I'm blushing, and I want to hide it so badly. But what good will it do?
"You are aware of Aine right?" He asked. I nodded in response.
"He writes love songs. So the professor also programmed me to write love songs and sing love songs. Pretty much dedicated myself to mellow love songs. But me being an artificial intelligence, I'm aware that I don't feel, or rather I can't. No emotions can make its way through me. That really contradicts to Kisaragi Aine's passion for love songs. Because of the mere fact that I don't have emotions, my songs are always incomplete."
I looked at Mikaze as he telltales. This is the very first time he opened up to me. He looked at me, his cyan eyes was as empty as ever.
"By the way, want to listen to one of my incomplete songs? It may contribute with your writing problems." I snapped out of my thoughts. I flashed him a warm smile.
"I'd love too."
I arranged my things and we stood up. He excused himself first and I went on my way without him. I stopped at the dormitory's entrance and waited for him. After more than a minute, he came into vision. He was holding on to something. He inserted it inside his hoody's pocket before he got nearer. I didn't bother to ask.
He led me inside the dormitory and into the vacant practice room- where a grand piano stands alone. We approached it and he sled on to its rectangular chair. I stood beside it. He opened it- exposing its white and glistening keys. He gently ran his fingers on some of its keys making consecutive sounds from low pitch to high.
He stared at me for a moment. I raised my eyebrows. He tapped the vacant space beside him and asked me to sit beside him. I did what I've been told. I sled next to him. He looked at me then placed his fingers unto the open keys. I looked at him sideways and before he creates a melody I caught a slight glimpse of his expression- I don't know if my eyes are just playing tricks on me, but I can see a pained Mikaze right now. Is that even possible for robots?
He started playing. A soothing melody lingered inside the practice room. He started singing.
Winter blossom (english translation)
( Don't mind the video and just listen to Ai's voice XD) video>>>>
Snow it's just like cherry blossom
Uh... silent white
Fluttering lightly in my palms, vanishing while floating down.
His voice was so soothing. It brings warmth inside me. I can't see nor hear a hint of deficiency.
Like covering it with a kiss, as we cuddled together to get warm.
Along with your throb, I don't know why my chest hurts a little.
Hey... god? If for me my heart is a lodging place
I look at him, he was singing and playing with his eyes closed. I can see emotions on him. Is it true? Or is it just programmed in him for him to look real? He opened his eyes and looked at me.
Just one drop, the same feelings as her... please grant it.
End it with a smile, please don't cry.
Because I absolutely won't forget about today.
'I'm inside you... Always alive."
About love, uh... thank you, bye-bye my dear.
Looking at me with those eyes. Why do I feel a sudden burst of pain inside me? Even though I know it's impossible for him to feel. Why is this song full of emotions? Why does it pains me to see him? Why do I feel like this song is purposely meant for me when I'm perfectly aware that it is not? The songs message, and the way he sing it is just... perfect.
One, two, the craved bright memory. These bad memories change with warmth.
Because you're so kind, for me it's too bright.
All of your words beautifully glittering with the wind.
Sometimes, there are times that we're apart.
Sure, there must be painful days too.
I don't know what should I do.
Maybe if it's now... I know I'll understand.
I want to hug you for eternity. As the farewell-time stopped
I love you... really loved you.
I felt my heart throb towards his words. He's looking at me like he really means it. My eyes begin to sting.
This overflowing feeling brilliant love song
End it with a smile. Please don't cry. Because I absolutely won't forget about today.
'I'm inside you... always alive' About love... uh... thank you
Then the me, which entire existence. Became a flower just to protect you
Please believe it... The seed to the future, will bloom in your heart. Promise to you.
He closed his eyes as he played the last notes of his song. After which he then directed his attention towards me.
"Why are you crying?" He asked, before I could even realize. I wiped my tears using the back of palm.
"Your song was just... so beautiful." I commented with sobs in between words.
"Yuki." He gently called out to me. His voice sounding somewhat a bit hoarse. I looked at him.
"I wanted to tell you something." He simply uttered. My eyes knitted in curiosity. When Mikaze says something, it really demands seriousness. I straightened myself to indicate seriousness.
A long pause filled the entire room.
"I-I" He stuttered. I panicked.
"Mikaze-senpai? Are you okay? Did your system crushed?" I stood out of my chair- not knowing what to do.
He held on to my hand and pulled me back down. I stared blankly at him, his hand still holding on to mine.
"I've been ..." *slam* His sentence was cut by the door's sudden opening. We both turned our gazes towards it. A wide eyed Reiji suddenly peeked inside.
"Found yah!" He shouted. He laughed while rubbing the back of his head as he approached us. I looked at Mikaze and he was glaring at his frolicsome friend. An obvious annoyance painted on his face.
Reiji stopped on his tracks- noticing Mikaze's burning glare.
"Did I just interrupt something? Ahehe gome gome." He apologized.
"Ah, no. Mikaze-senpai was just helping me with my writing problems." I simply answered as a pretentious laughed escaped from my lips. I felt Mikaze's hand let go of mine. He let out a sigh and stood up to face his unwelcomed friend.
"So? This better be worth it." He harshly uttered- his arms crossed in front of him.
"President Saotome summons you." He chirped.
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AN:Sorry about the video. That's 'Winter Blossom' by Mikaze Ai.
It's hard to search for a good video. Or rather too Lazy to search for a good one XD. Gome. ~Chiao.
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