ahhhhhh I'm not ready for this
Merlin sighs a bit too much for it to be healthy and I should be concerned
also I'm taking liberties with what he can do with his magic because it's totally necessary
-
Merlin narrowed his eyes at Gwen, who gave him an innocent look back. She curled a strand of hair around her finger—something she never did—and looked at him accusingly. He sighed loudly and took his bowl of porridge with him as he sat at the table beside the fire. He picked up his spoon and shoved it in his mouth, so he could avoid talking to Gwen, who had now moved to sit across from him. She'd arrived at dawn today, practically breaking down his door in a demand to speak with him.
"Merlin," She'd said, sweetly, "How is it you know the King?" And it was fine, because Merlin just told her that Gwaine and Lancelot had come in during a search (she'd laughed when he told her Gwaine was caught in the act of verbal treason) and he had met the king then. It was a very simple request, with a very simple answer, but it didn't quench her thirst for more.
"So, Merlin, why were you and the king in an alleyway?" She'd asked, which was, again, completely fine. He'd had an answer to that as well, which was when he explained that the prat had been wandering through the market and hadn't looked where he was going, so he'd run into Merlin, who then fell on him, and after Merlin had seen he was the king, he'd tried to apologize, really, he had, but it was apparently illegal to call the king "my lord" when he was undercover. They'd argued for a bit, until Gwen had found them, after which the king had left. She'd accepted it with no trouble, but her curious mind seemed to never cease with an end to the questions.
"So why did he look at you like that when he was answering my question?" It was after she'd asked that, with an innocent smile and teasing eyes, had he shut down. He was reminded of "the incident" as he now liked to call it, and his face had a light pink hue to it in a number of seconds. He'd avoided her gaze the best he could, but her eyes were locked on him even as he moved about to make himself a bowl of porridge; almost like the eyes of a hawk as it looked upon its prey. The thought of it made him shiver.
And so, he sat at the table, shoveling spoonful after spoonful of tasteless porridge down his throat, as Gwen sat across from him, looking on as if it was the most interesting thing she had ever seen. He dared a look up, and knew it was the wrong decision to make as soon as she stood and shoved her chair back, before roughly placing her hands on the table, causing it to shake. Merlin dropped his spoon into the bowl and it landed with a thunk followed by a splat. Sighing, he looked up at Gwen with bored eyes, before pushing his bowl to the side and crossing his arms on the table. She proceeded to look down at him expectantly, raising an eyebrow for good measure.
"We... shared an inside joke...?" Merlin tried, but to no avail Gwen just shook her head.
"Tell me exactly what happened. All of it." She said. Merlin could only sigh for what felt like the hundredth time before he begun the retelling of the course of events, as they happened.
"The parts I told you earlier, they were all true... but I may have left out a tiny detail?" He started, almost visibly shaking in his seat. How would Gwen react? Should he lie? She just looked at him and nodded, as if to say go on. "We were mad at each other, you see, and... he had pushed me to be up against the wall... and we exchanged a few words... but something changed? We weren't angry anymore... and that's all I know." He shrugged before rising up and out of his seat to walk across the room to retrieve his jacket and put it on. A look outside the window showed the sun was up and the sky was bright, and he was late for work.
"What do you mean, something changed, can't you tell me what that is?" Gwen asked, incredulously.
"I would if I could, but I can barely recall what was going on yesterday when it happened. Trust me, if I knew, I would tell you." Merlin said, making his way over to his door in order to open it and gesture for Gwen to leave. She sighed, before saying goodbye to him and exiting. He followed, locking the door behind him.
As he walked on to work that day, he pulled his jacket tighter around him and breathed out some air, watching it condensate right in front of him. Shoving his hands in his pockets, he pondered trying to heat them with magic, but figured he would probably end up burning a hole in his clothes. Instead, he couldn't take his conversation with Gwen off his mind, because he'd basically told her everything that had happened, but he'd left out the most important detail.
The King of Camelot had almost kissed him.
~•~
After a grueling day at work,—there was an accident that involved two customers and a potion that cured foot boils—Merlin arrived home and upon his entrance, the cupboards began opening and closing viciously and several pieces of furniture floated up and off the ground. He knew it was a side affect of not using magic for a long time, and when he arrived home he had finally released his hold on it. If he didn't use the energy that had built up soon, his lack of control would bleed over into places that weren't his home. The only thing that that would achieve would be getting him arrested and burned at the stake.
He didn't even bother to eat anything before grabbing his book of magic and placing it in his bag. After using a spell to mask his facial features, he put on a dark cloak and left his home. The sun was setting, and people were still about, but as soon as it went dark, the town would be completely void of any life. He wanted to make it to the forests beyond the city walls to practice his magic, so the likelihood of being found would be low. Hopefully, the night patrols wouldn't find him.
On his way out of Camelot, he kept his head down and avoided eye contact, but he knew he may have looked a tad suspicious. However, he didn't have any other choice because if he practiced magic within the walls, someone would surely find out. Once he reached the forests a good distance from the outer walls, he fell into the center of a clearing he found and let the magic take control. When flowers grew around his body and the tree branches swayed, all he could do was let it happen. Eventually, he sat up in his new bed of flowers, drew out his book from his bag, and opened it up.
Before he went on, he summoned some wood from wherever it would come and started a fire. After feeling satisfyingly warm, he looked through the book aimlessly until he found something he could use. Raising his right hand, he created a small ball of light and let it float around him. It moved around the clearing, going as far as the trees before coming back to him and circling around him excitedly. He laughed as he watched it, and it giggled right back at him before nuzzling his face. It tickled, so it only made him laugh harder.
He played with it for a while longer, forgetting about where he was, and eventually night rose and the sun disappeared. The only sources of light were the fire, which had begun to die down, and his little ball of light, which continued to flutter around him happily. Lying back in the flora he had created earlier, he closed his eyes and basked in the serenity. He breathed it all in deeply, and released a sigh that was somewhat akin to relief. It felt like he had no worries in the world.
He started to drift off, reveling in the complete and utter happiness he was feeling. Everything was falling into place: he had a stable job, good friends, and his magic was safe; it was everything he'd ever dreamed it would be. Camelot had always seemed out of reach when he'd been younger, with magic being outlawed, but it ended up feeling like home faster than he thought it would. However, he couldn't help but think back to the interaction he'd had with the king yesterday.
What had actually happened, in that moment? It seemed as if there was no possible explanation for why the king would try to kiss him. There was no mistaking what he was about to do when it happened, because they'd been holding eye contact. Merlin had been looking into eyes that matched the color of the sky right before the sun disappeared on the horizon, a dark and solid blue, and they'd been looking right back at him. He could hardly forget the feeling of the king's arms trapping his body, or the look of his face as the anger eventually dissipated and was replaced with shy glances down to his lips. Merlin had returned those glances all the same. Dare say, he'd even begun to flirt at the end, and to this moment he hadn't an idea where the ray of confidence had come from.
No matter what had gone down, Merlin knew there was no way anything between him and the king could possibly turn into something more. He was a sorcerer, in fact, he was the sorcerer that the king was looking to kill on sight. If anything began between them, Merlin feared hiding his secret would only become more difficult and stressful than it already was. So, he vowed to himself that he would steer clear of any interactions with the king as best he could.
He hoped it wouldn't be too difficult, but he knew that was wishful thinking at its best.
Opening his eyes, he found his little ball of light bouncing up and down on his chest, trying to draw his attention. He raised an eyebrow at it, wondering what it could possibly want. Sitting up, he watched as it sped toward the trees and seemed to wait for him there, jumping up and down in the air. He stood and brushed himself off before following it, through the trees and shrubbery. It took them a while, but eventually they came to another clearing. The ball pushed at his chest to make him stay hidden in the thicket as they looked on into the clearing.
He saw a fire, but there were men surrounding it; men that wore chainmails and capes with the Pendragon crest upon them. Grabbing his ball of light and shoving it in his pocket, where it proceeded to squeak quietly, Merlin gulped. Slowly, he took steps backward, trying to get out of the vicinity as quiet as possible. His attempt was futile as soon as he stepped on a branch that cracked under the weight of his body. Suddenly, four of the knights stood and looked in his direction, swords pulled out of their scabbards. They couldn't see him, of course, he was too far hidden by the trees, but that didn't stop them from walking toward him. Turning on a heel, he ran, not caring about the crunch of fallen leaves beneath his feet. He heard them following him, along with their voices, but all he could think about was getting back to his site, grabbing his bag, and teleporting himself home.
He took a look behind him, and they were within range, but far enough back that they wouldn't be able to reach him quick enough. Stopping, he turned around to face their oncoming, and raised both his hands. He whispered a few words beneath his breath, and his eyes flashed gold, and then there were vines grabbing at the men's feet. They kept their hold and dragged the men to the floor, who were weak against the forces pulling them down. The men slashed at the vines, but it only made more grab at them. The plants would not stop growing until Merlin reached safety, he had made sure of that.
He turned, about to break into a run, until he heard a distinct voice come over the sounds of struggling from the knights.
"I WILL FIND YOU, EMRYS, AND WHEN I DO, I WILL BE GLAD TO WATCH YOU BURN AT MY FEET."
It was, unmistakably, the voice of the King of Camelot.
-
ohhhhh lordie
honestly this just gets angstier and angstier and I apologize for that (not really)
It's going to get better I swear
~Dev❤️