Sabrina's POV:
She didn't kiss me when the ball dropped.
Flashback to earlier that week
"Sabrina seriously wake up we need to talk."
I lay with my head turned the opposite way, my hair a mess, arm dangling off the bed, sighing.
I know what's about to come. She's been "explaining" all night.
I don't want it to end.
Not now
Not ever
I love everything about it.
About seeing her beautiful face when I return home after a long time.
About seeing new places
About seeing all my fans
I don't want my traveling or my shows to stop or go back home to la yet.
Giving up, I flip my body around and look into my sisters eyes and say in defeat,
"Fine. Talk I'll listen."
She looks at me with sorrow. Sarah sits on the edge of my bed and says,
"Sabrina this year has been nothing but an amazing ride for you. You've been all over the world, you released so many hits, you hit new follower counts, you met-"
"I got broken up with..." I trail off looking down at my hands playing with a ring on my finger.
I hear my sister whimper and sigh out. She says quietly,
"Yeah well.."
Suddenly I feel angry about the whole situation. I stand up and pace around the room.
I say,
"This is absolute BULLSHIT."
"Sabrina-"
"No! Sarah no! You can't sugar coat this anymore."
She looks deep into my eyes and furrows her brows in frustration.
She says,
"Well you know what? You two have been on and off on and off on and off all fucking year! You did shit to her that killed her. And left her with the hardest decision to make. To leave your sorry ass. I'm sorry but I really can't take your side. Even if you are my sister."
Im appalled at what my sister is saying to me. I say,
"Are you serious Sarah? You don't think her giving up on me killed me too?! You think me fighting months and months on end for her makes me the bad guy? You think me spending ridiculous money flying out back to her every chance I had even if it was just for 15 hours makes me a 'sorry ass?' I gave you a fucking career Sarah. You wouldn't make it if it wasn't without me casting every role I tried out for. You wouldn't make it if it wasn't for my music."
What did I just say.
I try to hold back my own surprised face and keep my angry facade, but really all I am is broken.
I can't go back to LA knowing rowan is 15 minutes away from my house
I can't go back to LA knowing I can't surprise her with a big kiss and cuddles all night long
I can't go back to LA knowing she's not my girlfriend anymore
Knowing I'm not her soulmate, even if she's mine.
Knowing I'm not loved by her, even if she's all I can think about.
Touring and doing shows is what has been keeping me occupied since the break up months back.
The whole situation has scarred me.
I took it out on the only person I have left.
She holds back her tears and punches me in the stomach saying,
"How DARE you!
And runs out of the room.
There I am. Left in my old room on a sunny day, doing nothing but bawling to myself.
Rowan's POV:
Still in the flashback
Ever since I broke up with Sabrina I can't explain how I've been feeling.
Definitely less stressed and worried at times
But more bored.
Definitely happy when I get my me time
But more lonely.
Definitely more free
But more cold in bed at night.
But most of all: I'm guilty.
Yeah. I feel bad for what I did.
I was just so done with being worried about her and not being able to see her.
I got mixed responses whether to break up with her or not.
You can probably guess who they were from and what they were.
All I've been thinking about is how it went down. But I'm not sure that I regret it yet.
Memory of the breakup
Sabrina❤️: hey babe
Rowan: sabbbbyyyyyy I missed you
Sabrina❤️: ugh I miss you so much. I need to quit my job already and just be with you all day long
Rowan: so we can be old lady's rocking in our rocking chairs knitting blankets for our grandkids
Sabrina❤️: exactly!
Rowan: 😂😂😂I love you so much. I really never thought I'd love anyone the way I love you. You're such a blessing to me
Sabrina❤️: babe :,,,,,,,) im crying. I'm so glad we got together and I had the balls to kiss you the first time. I never thought we'd move past just barely cuddling on your bed watching Netflix. I'm so madly in love with you and I don't care if we break up or if you literally stab my heart. I'll always love you. That's not a cheesy statement. That's a promise
Rowan: and I'll always love you too baby. Even if you hate me with your everything. I'll love you with all of mine
Sabrina❤️: ugh I'm about to express fly you here if that were a thing so you can come to this stupid party with me tonight
Rowan: I'll box myself up and express ship me to you
Sabrina❤️: THATD BE AMAZING
Rowan: ID DIE OF SUFFOCATION
Sabrina❤️: WE WONT KNOW TILL WE TRY
Rowan: go to your stupid party ya idiot text me when ya want
Sabrina❤️: ooookay I'll expect to see you bright and early tomorrow in a big brown box
Rowan: we shall see
Fast forward that night
3:46 am
15 new texts (Sarah Carpenter)
Sarah: please don't be mad at her
Sarah: but Sabrina got trashed
Sarah: she's throwing up rn
Sarah: she should be fine after she gets it all out
Sarah: she's just a stupid teenager and so are all of us
Sarah: we make more mistakes when we're in love and don't have that person there with us to keep us safe
Sarah: I already know youre gonna be pissed
Sarah: fuck
Sarah: holt shit
Sarah: fuck be righr back she passed out
Sarah: she's awake
Sarah: she's throwing up again
Sarah: FUCK
Sarah: IDK WHAT TK DO
Sarah: SHES PASSED OUT AGAIN
I can't fucking deal with this. I'm done.
I call her to see if she answers
No answer
I call again
No answer
I call Sabrina's phone praying to God she or someone answers so I know if she's okay or not
Corey's POV:
As I'm carrying Sabrina's limp body outside into the car to take her to the hospital, I feel her phone buzzing.
I can already guarantee it's Rowan. I can't deal with someone else screaming at me.
When Sarah and Caleb and I get in the car, he speeds away. I lay Sabrina down and I grab her phone and answer the call.
Here we go.
"Hello?"
"Corey?! Jesus Christ where is she?"
"She's uh. She's here. Barely."
"What the fuck does that mean?"
"Shes gonna be okay."
"GONNA BE?! SO SHES NOT RIGHT NOW?!"
"She's been better Rowan."
"I can't fucking deal with this girl. I can't. She's done this too many times and she's promi-"
"Rowan you're not fucking breaking up with her. There's no way. Atleast not tonight. Wait till she's safe back at the hotel after getting her stomach pumped or whatever needs to be done."
"WHAT?! HOW MUCH DID SHE DRINK!"
"Too much."
"Jesus Christ."
"Rowan all she needs right now is to NOT HAVE YOU SCREAMING IN MY EAR and to be the damn supportive girlfriend you should be."
"I can't deal with someone who has a problem."
"She doesn't have a problem don't be so ridiculous row. She's just a teenager looking for some fun. This is the first time she's drank since you broke up with her over the summer."
"Honest?"
"Totally completely honest."
"Fine. What's she doing right now."
"Shes either sleeping or shes passed ou- OH GOD. She's throwing up actually."
"Put me on speaker."
"You're on speaker."
"Sabrina? Babe? Are you okay?"
I put the phone to Sabrina's ear. She stumbles on her words and somehow answers back,
"ROW?! Uh-uhhh. Yea- no. Okay. I-I'm fine. Sooo good rIGHT now. Mhm. I love you."
Rowan sounds mad but she answers back,
"Yeah Sabrina I love you too."
Sabrina sighs out and I guess she forgets Rowan is still on the phone but she slurs,
"She's gonna break up with me. I-i. I know-I know she will. She does that when I drink. It's the same. Thing. Every-every. T-time. I'm sorry. I love her."
Oh boy.
IM BACK BITCHES
I made out with one of my best friends when the ball dropped.... she's a girl.....
Holy shit
Okay uHM yeah idk I haven't been updating bc I've been going to parties and hanging out w friends and doing school shit n all that crap but I got into my dream college so thAts gREAT. I'm so excited for that and also to hook up w that girl again lmaOOOOOO
Okay bye guys ily and I'll see ya in your notifs soon bc I can't leave y'all off like this for long
Xoxoxoxo jackie