I awoke the next morning with a soft grunt. Blinding sunlight poured through the small window beside me, waking me instantly. I squeezed my eyes shut, but there was no point in trying to fall asleep again. Tiredly, I turned onto my left side and opened them to see an anxious Drostan impatiently tapping his foot at my bedside.
“Dr-Drostan...?” I jumped slightly, surprised.
“Trixie, you little-”
He leaned in with a sigh of relief and held me close, rocking me gently in his arms, his lips pressed against my forehead.
“You don't know how worried I've been... I'm so sorry I had to work last night. I came back as soon as I finished, but you were already fast asleep... I didn't want to wake you, but I've been counting down the seconds until I could talk to you again. I'm so glad you're okay...”
It took him several minutes to pull away, even though I assured him I wasn't going anywhere.
“I'm fine, Drostan, really... The car stopped before it could do any real damage, I guess...”
“Don't give me that, you were badly injured, Trix, a-and it could have ended so much worse! I don't even want to think about what could have happened...”
I took his hand and held it close, tracing his fingers thoughtfully.
“What time is it?” I said, trying to change subjects.
“Almost 9.”
“Well that explains why the sun is so bright... How long have you been here?”
“Eh...” He looked at his phone. “Since about 6.”
“Wait, don't you have school? You shouldn't be here now!”
“Don't worry about it. Besides... I had to see you first.”
I sighed to myself.
“So... What did you do the whole time?” A smiled slowly crept over my face. “Did you just sit here and watch me as I slept like a little creep?”
“No, I did not watch you the whole time,” he rolled his eyes and I giggled. “I read a magazine or two and I think I fell asleep for about an hour. But, you are like a beautiful angel when you sleep as I've already mentioned.”
He stroked my cheek lightly with his thumb and tucked a strand of hair behind my ear. I hadn't seen him so worried since the time he performed CPR on me, and even then there wasn't such deep emotion burning in his navy eyes.
“How's your leg...?” He asked, removing his gaze from my face to peer at the large cast which ran up to my thigh.
“It's a real hassle getting up, but I'll make due...”
“And your wrist and head?”
“Luckily, the concussion wasn't too bad. I should be back to normal sometime next week, but they want to keep me here for observation... My wrist is the most frustrating. If it weren't for my wrist, I could use crutches... but now I have to be in a wheelchair.”
“Well, I'll push you around if you want,” he laughed briefly.
“Yeah, I think you do that enough,” I winked and he scoffed in response.
“Hey.” He started with a smile, but his expression transformed into something more serious. Drostan stared pensively at the ground and sighed. “I-it's true though, isn't it...? Trixie, I'm so, so sorry, I can't even tell you. I've been such a jerk this whole time and I... I've ruined everything for you.” His voice cracked and he hid his face in his hands. “I've messed up your social life countless times, and it's my fault Natasha bullied you. I royally screwed up your love life because of my selfishness, I have no idea how much I really messed up your mental well-being with my depression crap, and now I nearly ended your physical life because of my stupidity!”
He shook his head back and forth and buried himself in me just as Kaden had the previous night.
“What's wrong with me, why do I always hurt people like this, especially the ones I care about...?” He cursed to himself. “I've been such a jerk to you and Kaden. I took his girl from him because I couldn't handle being alone when he was so happy...”
“It's not all your fault... I should have just told you no-”
“I threatened to kill myself unless you loved me, you had no choice. Ugh, I'm sick! I was just throwing a tantrum like some whiny brat who wanted everything his way. I put you in such a bad position... I'm sorry, I'm sorry... I can't tell you enough.”
I remained silent, running my hand through his hair. I didn't know how to respond. It was true that he put me in a terrible position, but I was partially to blame.
“You know, regardless of all that has happened...” He pulled away, angrily wiping the tears that spilled over. “I can't deny that these past months with you were some of the happiest I've had since, you know, then, and I promise you that what we had wasn't some facade to steal you away from Kaden. I really loved you, Trixie, and I'm still madly in love with you. It's stupid, but it's the truth. What I feel for you is real and no other girl has ever made me as happy as you have.”
Our eyes met and I stared intently at him as his confession sunk in. I leaned forward but suddenly fell back into my pillow, aching too much to do it on my own.
“T-Trix, hold on, let me help you up,” he whispered worriedly.
The moment he placed his arms around me, I fell into him, hugging him tightly.
“I just missed you...”
Drostan's warm breath flowed down the curves of my neck and my spine tingled at the sensation. He suddenly moved in for a kiss, but again hesitated as Kaden had done. His brows furrowed as he kept his lips only centimeters from mine. I could sense how conflicted he was.
“O-only if you want to...” He breathed.
I pulled away with a huff and stared at his pale hands.
“Not until I choose which one of you I'm staying with...”
He nodded sadly. “Sure... About that, I um...”
He raised a finger, but bit his lip and lowered it as if he was rethinking what he wanted to tell me.
“Yes...?”
He glanced nervously to me and then away with a shake of his head. “N-nothing, you must be hungry, you've been sleeping for a long time. I'll go call the nurse to get you some food, okay?”
Drostan stepped out of the room without another word. I had a feeling that there was still something he wanted say.
I waited a few moments for him to return and once he did, a nurse followed shortly after. She greeted me warmly and quickly checked the monitors before handing m a tray of food. As she left, I quietly ate my first few bites of food and Drostan handed me a glittery pink card.
“What's this?”
“You didn't think I'd forget, did you? I'll admit, it's been hectic these past few days, but I wouldn't forget your birthday.”
I blinked a few times as I took the card. “Oh, right... I was the one who forgot.”
It was a cutesy card covered in flowers and cupcakes. I tried to contain my smile as I opened it.
“Aw, Drostan, thanks,” I said sweetly before reading the message aloud. “I would have bought you a cake, but I gotta be honest... I don't think you need the calories.”
My mouth opened wide and I glared at him Drostan. “Hey!”
We both laughed and I punched him in the arm with my good hand.
“Oh c'mon, you must have seen it coming. Why would I ever buy you such a girly card unless it was a joke!” He laughed again. “Well, I got you a present, a nicer one, to make up for it, okay? I'll give it to you later tonight.”
I nodded with a slight chuckle, “Fine.”
He leaned in to give me another hug, but paused once we heard a faint tap at the door. Kaden stood in the doorway, arms folded behind his back, glancing at us both suspiciously.
His expression was stiff, but he smiled cordially as he turned to me. “Happy Birthday, Trix, how are you feeling?”
“I-I'm alright I guess, I just woke up not too long ago and Drostan's been keeping me company.”
The two glanced briefly at each other before shifting uncomfortably in their seats, so I continued to eat my breakfast in silence.
These two could kill a good mood in five seconds flat...
“So, I got you something,” he said pulling a colorful daisy bouquet from behind his back. “They say plants make the air fresher in these places.”
My eyes lit up at the sight. “Oh, they're so pretty...” I ran my fingers over the soft petals and took a big whiff of the floral aroma. “And they smell so nice, thanks Kaden.”
I leaned closer to give him a hug, but he stood before I could.
“Oh, yeah of course. I think I saw an empty vase on the nurse's desk, maybe we can borrow it for now. I'll be right back.”
As he left the room, I turned awkwardly back to Drostan who put on a smile merely for my sake.
“Well, I better go catch up on this school stuff. I just wanted to say a quick hi anyway.”
I could see right through his excuse to avoid Kaden.
“W-wait,” I called as he stood from his chair. “You will be here tonight, won't you? My parents won't mind.”
“I promise I'll be here.”
He left with a brief hug and ruffle of my hair before exiting through the door just as Kaden returned. They shared subtle looks as they brushed shoulders, and Kaden pursed his lips in confusion.
“Leaving already?”
“School stuff, he said...”
He nodded quietly and stared at the tiled floor. The next several minutes were entirely silent. Conversation used to be so easy with us, but now I didn't have the confidence to say a simple hello.
“How's your head?” His voice was so dull.
“I still have a headache, but it's not so bad now.”
“Good...”
My eyes nervously met his, but he turned away. That was unlike him. I laid my hand on top of his and slipped my fingers under his palm, hoping to get some response, but he held it so loosely, so unconvincingly. The girl inside of me wanted to crumple up into a ball and sleep forever, and for a fleeting moment, I wondered what it would have been like if I had stepped in front of the car just a few seconds later. The car certainly could have killed me then. I would have deserved it, after all. As the emotions bubbled inside of me, I buried my face in a pillow and sobbed. Intense guilt racked my conscience and my very being ached with the hatred I felt for myself. I was afraid I'd ruined everything. How could I hurt someone who meant so much to me? Even though a tiny voice in my head convinced me that it was to save Drostan, I let it go too far and too long. I refused to forgive myself, so was there really any point in asking for Kaden's forgiveness?
“Trixie...” Kaden gently patted my back.
“G-go away, I don't deserve you...” I hiccuped, pushing him off of me. “I'm sorry, I'm sorry for what I did. I can't take it back, and it's never going to be the same again, is it?”
Kaden replaced the pillow I clung to with himself and held my trembling frame tightly.
“Hush, hush now. I know you're sorry... We're going to figure it out, I promise. Please, let's just forget about it for now. I don't mean to ignore you...”
He ran his gentle fingers through my hair as he held me close, and my crying slowed with every lingering breath of his. I missed him so much, but only time would heal these wounds.